god damn i am good

Mom: did you wish your father a happy Father’s Day?

Me: @ harrystyles happy Father’s Day daddy

anonymous asked:

WHAT IF MAGGIE SECRETLY PLAYS AN INSTRUMENT OMFG. AND WE ALL KNOW ALEX SINGS, SO LIKE.... SANVERS DOING MUSIC SHIT TOGETHER........ Fuck I need this to be canon so bad. I really hope Maggie plays guitar or something oml

I have this headcanon that whenever Maggie was kicked out of her house she only grabbed a backpack full of clothes and her old 6 string she used to play when she was little. And if you look in her house it’s tucked in the back corner of her closet and she only takes it out to strum a bit whenever she’s feeling particularly upset about something because music is good and music is pure and music was there for her when no one else was.
And one day alex was looking for a change of clothes or something and she spotted this old guitar in the back of her girlfriends closet but she only frowns at it and doesn’t mention anything to maggie. Until one day after Maggie had a case involving a child that was abandoned somewhere because they were no longer accepted by their parents Maggie came home and cracked open a bottle of whiskey and alex found her ¼ way through the bottle on the couch halfheartedly strumming through some random cords just so the house wouldn’t be so quiet. But alex knows that feeling of sadness and despair so she just sits there and listens to her girlfriend strum and when the song starts to sound familiar Alex gently sings along to Piece by Piece by Kelly Clarkson and eventually when the song is over Maggie just breaks down into Alex’s hold and they just sit like that for the rest of the night, with Maggie holding the last piece of her old home in her own arms, and being held in the arms of her new one.

An old, desolate joke book.

“1001 Dad Jokes”, I read, my voice rough and coarse with radioactive dust tightly coating my throat. “Dad jokes…”, I begin, barely able to stifle the laughter. “Dad jokes. Did you just assume their gender? You trigglypuff?”, I yell out through tears of laughter, god damn, am I funny. Am I funny, am I good at these jokes or what? My hand desperately claws at the debris thinly covering the ground, clutching for air, like the man who can’t swim holding onto a razor not to drown.

“Assume their gender!”, I yell out, now hysterical, assuming fetal position to battle the tremors stabbing my abs from laughter. I fall over on my back, choking out the last tiddlywinks of air. A concrete ceiling graces my eyes. Intricate graffiti. Scribbles. Desperate cries of help. Bible verses.

“Assume their gender.” I’m wiping away tears. The year is 2067. The earth may be dead, reddit may be dead, but shitty transphobic jokes are far from deceased.

guess who got to watch wonder woman in all her 3D glory this afternoon

this girl

Aqours Group Chat: Yuri Doujins
  • Yoshiko: Guys! Lily has a huge stash of Yuri doujins in her closet!!
  • Mari: yeah? we know
  • Dia: I didn't! I didn't think Riko was so shameless!
  • Chika: yeah i've seen them
  • Chika: she has some fan made muse ones
  • Dia: Muse yuri doujins!?
  • Mari: oooo are you interested? come on all of us read some yuri im sure
  • Dia: I do not!
  • Yoshiko: No way!
  • You: They help when the real thing comes.
  • Chika: you'd know bb
  • You: ;)
  • Yoshiko: is that how Lily knew what to do…
  • Mari: ooooo riko knows what she's doing!
  • Ruby: What are we talking about?
  • Dia: NO RUBY LEAVE DON'T LOOK AT THIS SHAMELESS CHAT
  • Riko: Why is this happening. I left my phone for 10 minutes.
  • Riko: Yocchan you looked in my closet last night???
  • Ruby: I wanna know tho
  • Chika: We're talking about sex
  • You: We're talking about sex
  • Ruby: Oh that's what I thought
  • Yoshiko: I only peeked Lily
  • Dia: Noooooo my pure little sister is being corrupted.
  • Hanamaru: ruby when are you comming
  • Ruby: PM me Hana-chan
  • Riko: AND YOU TOLD EVERYONE IN CHAT ABOUT IT
  • Dia: Ruby DO NOT apply anything you learn from this sin chat with Hanamaru
  • Hanamaru: wats PM
  • Ruby: Just reply to the message I sent you in our chat sweetie.
  • Ruby: I think they're right sis. It's better if I know what I'm doing rather than going in blind.
  • Dia: I am NOT READING THIS
  • Yoshiko: I didn't know what to do with what I found Lily :c
  • Riko: my life is over
  • Kanan: wow chat’s been active
  • Yoshiko: it seems to be normal Lily! It even helps You says! Please don't leave me!
  • Kanan: lovers quarrel?
  • Mari: Nah Yoshi just found Riko’s dirty doujins.
  • Kanan: ahh well if we’re talking about our gfs kinks
  • Kanan: Mari has a whip
  • Mari: It’s Joke!
  • Mari: hahaha very funny babe
  • You: I'm not surprised
  • Chika: Neither am I
  • Mari: god damn it
  • You: Speaking of all this, am I good to come over tonight Chika?
  • Chika: ye bb
  • You: Sweet.
  • Dia: ...you’re all full of sin…
  • Riko: Yocchan just showed up at my house with flowers to apologize <3
  • Riko: My gf is so sweet. I wasn’t even that mad.
  • Chika: Get it Yoshiko!
  • Kanan: Don’t stay up too late girls
  • You: I guess I’ll see you in the morning Yoshiko
  • Yoshiko: ;)
youtube

Mike Chilton - Take Me Home (Hollywood Undead)

YEAH IT’S FINALLY DONE HELL YES.  I had to make this because if I ever heard a song with lyrics that described Mike Chilton more aptly than “reckless till the day I rest my bones”, I don’t remember it (but if I ever do I will definitely have to make a video with it).

It kind of looks a little bit like he died at the end.  OH WELL.  RIP in peace Mikey.

Kai as a wingman

“tHORNE DATE HER”
“BUT IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH”
“I AM THE GOD DAMN EMPEROR I WILL THROW YOUR ASS INTO JAIL A G A I N”
“K A I THIS ISNT HOW YOU WINGMAN”
“THORNE JUST ASK HE R OUT”
“WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR I CANT DO THAT”
“I DID WITH CINDER”
“THATS DIFFERENT. SHES LIKE A CAT AND HAS NINE LIVES.”
“YOUR POINT??”
“SHE WONT D I E”

my animation loving ass: tears up because the animation in wild kratts has gotten more swift and smooth and honestly? Good Shit.

(like it’s still the same but i can notice small changes my dude.)

What You May Hear - One Shot

 Pairing: Bucky x Reader 

WARNINGS: Alcohol usage, Groping, Light Sexual Assault, Mean Bucky, Fluff Bucky, Protecter Bucky, ANGST

Summary: A misunderstanding of Bucky’s feelings towards you leads you into a dangerous situation. 

Word count: 3000ish

Author’s Note: This just kinda formed in my head and I had to write it, I hope you all enjoy it. I know I am a sucker for an angsty knight in shining armor Bucky. Please head the warnings, some things may be triggering, I’m a descriptive bitch. 



“You like her!?” Steve’s voice rises with the sudden realization, staring at his best friend as the smile suddenly drops from Bucky’s face. “How did I not see this before? You like Y/N!” Steve insists.

“What? You’re kidding right? No… Steve… No I don’t like her. Seriously, that amnesia is starting to kick in there, old timer.” Bucky scoffs, stammering quickly, a redness rising in his cheek as he tries to defend himself and throw Steve off his scent. Steve nods his head, pouting his lips slightly as he feigns belief for Bucky.

“Oh, sure sure, Buck. I’m sorry I was wrong, you don’t like her.” Bucky nods, sighing with relief, “Thank you, glad we’re on the same page.” Bucky sighs, taking a sip of his beer, “Yeah… you’re full on in love with her.” Steve says casually, watching Bucky’s expression freeze as he chokes on his beer, bits of the brew dribbling down his chin as he sputters.

“Love her!? What! I don’t… You’re being ridiculous… She’s my friend… I don’t…” Steve began to laugh as Bucky stammers, glancing around the living room embarrassed, praying that no other avenger was within earshot. “My god, how did I not see this before! You’re in love with Y/N.” Steve smiles to himself, enjoying his personal torture of his best friend.

Little did Bucky know that Steve was about to solve all his problems of the heart. That is, after he had his fun, of course. Steve had known for weeks that you had fallen for Bucky, ever since he saw the way you watched him during training.

Well, if he was being honest, it was Natasha that called you out on it over drinks, Steve was just privy to the conversation where you drunkenly gave in and admitted to your love for Bucky Barnes.

Now, if he could just get Bucky to admit his love for you, he could steal the title of matchmaker right out from under Nat! Steve smiled as he relished the idea of being responsible for his friend’s romantic happiness.

“Can you shut up about it? I’m not in love with her.” Bucky’s growl snaps Steve back to the conversation, redness painting Bucky’s cheeks as he tries to deny his feelings for you. “Buck, just admit it! You fell in love with her, it’s ok, she’s gorgeous and brilliant. You two have been getting closer for months it was bound to happen sometime.” Steve rolls his eyes, making Bucky’s embarrassment and frustration climb.

“God Dammit! Will you stop? I don’t even like her!” Bucky yells out, slamming his beer on the table as he stands up from the couch, rounding on Steve his heart pounding hard in his ears as he fights to disguise his secret.


Of course you had left your god damn phone charger in living room. You roll your eyes, silently scolding yourself for your irresponsibility in letting your phone’s battery drop so low. You came up on the entrance to the living room, hearing Steve laughing from within, you smile as you make to enter the room.

Your steps are halted by the sound of Bucky’s rising voice, drifting from the room. You quickly duck into the shadow of the doorframe, listening to Bucky shout. “God Dammit! Will you stop? I don’t even like her!”

Keep reading

5

still not sleeping and thinking about tom cruise and how hot he is sometimes xD mmm still my fav movie with tom and aksjfkadfkj i love lestat! - also no one giffed me tom cruise today so i giffed tom myself lol you are welcome 

normal people: netflix and chill

me: paganism and memes

junokalemoon  asked:

HCs on ponybaby being with a "wiLd giRl" lol idk what I mean

I can’t tell if you mean wild sexually or in life, so I’ll do both!

  • Darry is surprised because you are able to get Pony to do all kinds of fun things, and he manages to keep his grades up too.
  • You just yell all the time, you barely have an inside voice and he LOVES it
  • He’s really in love with how carefree you are
  • He starts to get crazy too and always asks to go do things
  • “Babe lets go take a drive!”
  • “It’s 3 AM.”
  • “I don’t give a good god damn, we’re gonna go take a drive and hike to go watch the stars”
  • You always have to leave notes telling Darry where you are.

Nsfw-

  • He was sooo vanilla when you met him
  • And then one day you’re just like, “he wanna try handcuffs?”
  • And he basically joke on whatever he’s drinking but tries it anyways.
  • Every damn night y’all are trying something new.
  • Breath play? Tried it
  • Knife play? It wasn’t exactly your thing, but y’all enjoyed it for a night.
  • He learns to love tying you up or pinning you down, clamping his hand over your mouth because you’re too loud.