god damn hes hilarious

so my brother sometimes talks in his sleep and he'll have a completely rational conversation until like the last few sentences and this just happened
  • brother: hey what's your sign
  • me: what are you talking about
  • brother: like what's your sign like a star sign or whatever
  • me:
  • brother: i know what mine is
  • me: okay
  • brother: stop
  • me: ?
  • brother: my sign is a stop sign
  • brother: because i need to stop
Sleep Talker (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

I DO NOT OWN THE GIF | WC: 634

PROMPT?: “I get the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it?” prompt with Steve or Bucky, omg I feel like their reactions would be hilarious, given the fact that they’re so serious all the time 😂

A/N: I’m writing this from the perspective of Buck having the dream because their reactions to your reaction? If that makes sense. Trust me, it will. I hope you like it darling! ♥

WARNINGS: sleep talking, walking, etc. fluff, extreme fluff, cursing, kissing

You stroked his hair on the way home, Wanda promptly passed out on the “retired” archer’s shoulder as he mouthed a silent conversation. There’s a knife in your leg, isn’t there? he mouthed. You tried your hardest to stop yourself from laughing, to keep the master assassin from waking but god damn, Clint was hilarious sometimes. Blink twice if you’re in danger. He muffled a snort and felt Wanda shuffle, panic crossing his eyes before she settled again. “Really, how do you have that much trust in him? For god’s sake, you’re petting him like a dog.” he snarkily whispered, leaning forward a bit to prove his sassy point. “Steve’s the meatball, Thor’s the cinnamon roll and Buck is the puppy. Clint, we’ve been through this-” you quietly grinned seeing Clint snigger as another voice entered the realm of silence and you stiffened. Tony was still flying, so why was there another voice? “Knight.. In shining armor. God damn right.” the small voice from your lap gruffed and you and Clint looked at each other with wide eyes. Clint stifled another snort and covered his mouth. Buck shuffled and moved his arms so that they were tightly wrapped around your leg and you grinned, fingers locked in his dark hair as he mumbled more comprehensive things, the occasional princess with your name being spoken.

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another leek: (in performance invariably shown to be of monstrous size)
— 

Footnote to Henry V, 5.1.57

(The line in question is Yes, verily, and in truth you shall take it, or I have another leek in my pocket which you shall eat.)