god bless she's back

Storytime...

Something amazing happened to me today.

If you have never been bottom-of-the-barrel broke for a decent length of time then you cannot truly understand that horrible feeling when the cashier tells you that you can’t use your loyalty points because the server is down. That sick sinking feeling that happens as you come to the realization that you have to pay full price when you were counting on having the extra $5 the points would have saved you to buy the meat for dinner. That if you want to eat now you won’t later or if you want to eat later you can’t eat now.

I experienced this feeling again today at the coffee shop. I only ordered a small coffee and a ham and cheese croissant. It’s all I could afford if I used the points I’d saved up to pay for the coffee. My total was only $10.90 but I had been counting on using my points to bring it down to $6. Then she told me the system was down.

Everything stopped. My heart sank and suddenly began racing 100ks an hour at the same time and I started shaking. In the space of about four seconds I thought several things at once.

“Do I say leave the coffee? The food is more vital than the caffeine”

“Do I just leave both? I need to buy the stuff for dinner tonight and I have to get to therapy tomorrow”

“Maybe I can borrow from Mum to do dinner and therapy”

“Oh god! They probably think I’m just angling for free stuff!”

“Fuck Georgia! Just pay by card and pray you make it to next week on what’s left”

“I’m going to throw up”

“Tell them it’s fine and pass your card over for fucks sake!”

So I take out my card and start to hand it over. I’m trying to put on a brave face but clearly I didn’t do much of a job of it. The cashier looks like a deer in headlights. She doesn’t know how to handle this kind of thing. She immediately tries to reassure me.

Then it happens.

I hear a gruff voice behind me ask,

“How much does she need?”

I turn and see the older lady who came in behind me and let me go ahead of her in the queue opening her wallet and looking at the cashier.

I’m still desperately trying to convince both women that it’s fine and I’ll pay but they don’t seem to hear me. By now I’m shaking and also crying. I can tell both women are uncomfortable so I desperately try to get myself under control. It’s not working. In the madness the cashier puts through the point discount and the Gruff Older Lady pays for my order. Now not only do I still have the $5 I was counting on from my points I have the other $6 I would have paid for my coffee too.

I move off to the side still loosing my shit and crying (embarrassingly) in a coffee shop, as the cashier takes Gruff Older Lady’s order and she pays and we all wait for our orders.

The whole shop has been watching this and not said a word. I think (it’s something of a blur) I may have hugged her. And I think it made her even more uncomfortable. Anyway, I’m still trying to get myself under control. Another patron comes over and asks if I’m ok and I tell her what’s just happened and she smiles and calmly chats to me till I’m calm and her order is called. She wishes me well and leaves.

My order is then called at the same time as Gruff Older Lady. I can barely look her in the eye. I’m so embarrassed. But I’m also so incredibly grateful so I look up and give a wobbly smile and thank her again as we put the lids on our coffees. She asks if I’m short of money and I admit that I am but I’m mostly coping without looking up from the counter.
Next thing I know she is opening her wallet again and pushing the last of her cash, $30, into my hands. I try to refuse and tell her she doesn’t have to do that, I’m ok. Again the tears threaten.

“Don’t you cry again!”

She tells me in that same gruff voice she used at the counter.

“You’ll set me off! Just take it! I know what it’s like to be where you are. I’ve been there myself. I’m a bit flush this week so I can afford to do this.”

I can do nothing but stare at my shaking hand now holding $30 and thank her profusely while trying not to cry on her. She simply gives me a small smile and murmurs,

“I’ve done my kind thing for the day.”

And leaves before I can say another word.

It’s taken me an hour to write this and I’m still shaken and overwhelmed.

This woman was so kind. It wasn’t the stereotypical warm, beneficent old woman with a big hug and a cheery smile. She was real and my gratitude seemed to make her uncomfortable. Like she hadn’t realized how big of an impact she would have when she decided to do what she did. She was gruff and awkward and that is the only thing that has me convinced that this really happened and I didn’t dream it.

Well, that and the lasting embarrassment from having had such a major breakdown in a public place.

I have now had breakfast and I’ll use the extra $30 for food. And it’s all thanks to that incredibly kind Gruff Older Lady.

I don’t know how to end this except to say again even though I am sure she’ll never see this…

Thank you. Paying for my breakfast the way you did has had a far bigger impact than I think you will ever know.

Mornings
Mornings

*PLEASE LISTEN*

Dan and Phil were mentioned in a topic of how it’s important for young men to talk about their feelings or if anything isn’t going well

Mornings - 26 August
with Wendy Harmer (but Wendy Harmer was sick today so it was someone else) on 702 ABC Sydney

PS. Can we PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE band together and make Dan and Phil notice that they were mentioned this morning on the radio and in this topic of conversation specifically :) I’m sure they’d be really happy and flattered

In which @lieutenantker and I finished Clone Wars and Ahsoka is My Love, My Life, and I also really like being in pain and thinking about what Ahsoka was going through and what she was (literally) feeling during Order 66 so that’s why this exists. Sorry not sorry.

LYRICS:
I don’t know if you know
But I can feel you still
It’s like I never left at all

I don’t know if you’d care
But my heart’s aching
Because I ever left at all

I don’t know if you know
But I’m still walking
Broken steps I took that fall

I don’t know if you’d care
But I can feel it all
I feel you all fall

(chorus)
Tear me apart
As it all ends here
There’s nothing I can do
Nothing I can do

One by one you fall down
And rip away my soul
There’s nothing I can do
Nothing I can do

I don’t know if you know
But I can feel you still
It’s like I never left at all

Made with SoundCloud
My Mom’s Trip!

As yesterday was Mother’s Day and I am over 300 miles away from my mom, I thought I would blog about the last time she visited me, as I am missing her right now! Plus, I got her this card, which I can’t actually give it her!

Easter Weekend 2017

Keeping up with my mom’s spontaneous status (still impressed she spontaneously went to Arizona with me earlier this year!) the Friday before Easter, around 11am, I texted my mom, “I’m not going to Chicago. I’d love a visitor…?” and within seconds she wrote back that she’d leave at noon. God Bless!

I had originally been very uncertain about Easter as I didn’t get any days off for it (I still find this weird!), and was supposed to go to Chicago with M., the guy I was dating at the time, but we last minute cancelled it, as I realized all I wanted to do was hang-out with my mom.

When you go long periods of time away from your home and away from the people you love and know you best, it’s the most remarkably awesome and comforting feeling when suddenly you’re with someone know knows you better than you know yourself. 

The first thing I wanted to show my mom was my CrossFit building. 

My CrossFit building is a 2,200,000-square-foot old auto-body manufacturing factory built in 1925. Today (although it looks empty) is filled with lots of lofts with various businesses running out of them (like woodward, glass blowing, art, and my CrossFit!). It’s very cool. 

My mom and I went in and walked around. It was eerie as there was no one around, but we did find this piece of art in an old hallway.  Some of the doors had over ten locks on them, which I must admit was a little unsettling. 

After walking around for a while we decided to head back to the car, except just as we were approaching the car two girls came up to us and asked, “do you know where the art show is?”  

We had no clue, but then another couple who overheard us pointed to a door and said we should all go, so we did!

We climbed three flights of stairs and found ourselves at a hipster-y art show.  It was so neat! A true Detroit experience for both of us, complete with city views in the distance. 

The rest of her trip was spent showing her my favourite spots. Including, but not limited to: 

Detroit’s historic Corktown (apparently just a few years ago this area wasn’t a safe place with signs everywhere to not leave valuables in cars as they will get broken into. Today it feels incredibly safe, is super charming, with apartments going up all around.) 

We walked around the old train station (with its spiffy new windows and blooms out front)!

And then stepped into a gorgeous little coffee shop called Astro Coffee for lunch. 

Saturday afternoon we strolled around downtown with no plan but to see the city’s sites and architecture. 

I took her to The Belt, a neat little graffiti alleyway

And then we topped off the evening with a gorgeous sunset over the city from Belle Isle!

How lucky I am to have an adventurous mama that was willing to head to Detroit within an hour to keep me company over Easter. 

Happy Mothers Day Mom!! Love you to the moon and back! xoxo

4

HELL’S KITCHEN MOVIE CLUB: #2 Silent Running

Written by Alex de Campi

Drawn by Dave Acosta

Color by Dee Cunniffe


This thing was meant to be dumb fun. But after the mass shooting at the Route 91 Festival in Las Vegas, it seemed less fun. My wife created nearly all of the the graphic design for festival. We have many friends that work on the festival…including my wife’s best friend since kindergarten. And they were all in Vegas when the shooting started. I suddenly didn’t want to fetishize two “lone wolves polishing guns” anymore. And Alex, god bless her, had my back. She was able to turn our feelings into a HKMC script. Sometimes its funny. Sometimes its sad. But its about coping. And finding a pack. I hope you like it.

Breaking news: DA2 shatters my heart
  • Merrill: Aveline, what do you see in your mirror?
  • Aveline: Sorry?
  • Merrill: In your mirror. What do you see?
  • Aveline: A warrior. A wife. All the mistakes I made to get here. Why? What do you see?
  • Merrill: I'm not sure. Cracks, mostly. Maybe I could borrow yours sometime, if that's alright
  • Aveline: It's all right.

Had a fucking weird conversation with a woman who came into work

I told her i used to live about six blocks from Jeffrey Dahmer so she brought up the Podesta’s conversation piece featuring a Dahmer torture victim so I told her I flat out think they’re involved in that pedophile scandal.

On her way out she said God bless me and to watch my back so if ya boi stops posting it’s because I’m shooting myself multiple times in the back of the head lmao

Steve Rogers is seven years old and they say he’s dying.

Father Ryan’s come to give him Last Rites and his Mom’s eyes are red-rimmed from crying.  He wants to tell her he’s gonna be all right but he’s so tired and everything hurts, even just to take in a breath.  Briefly, he wonders what heaven will be like and if he’ll finally meet the father he’d never known, dead in the trenches of war. 

Later on, Bucky slips in to his room, like a ghost or a vampir in his Grampy’s stories.  Bucky doesn’t say much but he gives Steve his most prized possession - his favorite toy.  He tucks the soft teddy bear into the blankets next to Steve.  Bucky has been spending every bit of his free time with Steve since the younger boy got sick, helping his Mom, watching him as if Steve would slip away the moment Bucky’s attention was diverted.

That night, Bucky had not wanted to go home.  His own Grampy had to come pick him up, kicking and screaming. 

“He’s gonna keep an eye on you when I can’t,” Bucky whispers to Steve.  “Don’t you be going anywhere without me, okay, Stevie?”

Stevie’s hands curl weakly around the bear - Bucky’s bear - and he whispers a “yes.”

Steve is still there the next morning.  And the morning after that and the next one.  He gets better and it’s a miracle and Bucky’s bear - Bucky Bear is his name now - sits on Steve’s bed and keeps him company when the boy Bucky isn’t.  And that’s how things are until the boys are older and well-loved toys are now simply good memories. 

Steve Rogers is twenty years old and they say he’s dying. 

Winters are never kind to him.  He and Bucky do their best to make ends meet, make sure that they can eat and don’t freeze to death when it’s cold.   Bucky never hesitates when it comes to Steve, working long hours and taking on extra jobs if it meant that they could get the extra cash.  Steve hates feeling that he’s not pulling his own weight but Bucky won’t hear about it.  They’re more than just friends now, they’re family.

And if sometimes, Steve wishes that there could be more and if sometimes, he thinks Bucky might be thinking the same, well, he chalks the first up to a fool’s hope and the second to an overactive imagination.  What they have now, that’s more than enough for him. 

He’s hurting all over and cold and his chest aches and sometimes, he wonders grimly, if it’s not better to give in and leave this frail body behind. 

But it’s Bucky who slips into bed behind him, curls his big warm body around Steve’s smaller frame, holds him close.  It’s Bucky who whispers, “Don’t you leave me.  Don’t you goddamn leave me, Steve Rogers.  You fight this, punk.  You fight this, and live through it, or I’m gonna come after you to the other side, swear to God.”

Steve’s hands curl weakly around Bucky’s, twining their fingers together and he whispers back a "yes.”

Steven Rogers is twenty-five years old and he’s dying. 

He’s Captain America now and Dr. Erskine’s serum has rebuilt his weak, frail body.  He won’t need to fear any winter again, he’s stronger and faster and better and he’s led his men to victory after victory. 

He’s led Bucky to his death. 

He’s as good as dead inside. 

Peggy tries, God bless her.  She tries to lead him back the way Bucky had always done.  She sees Steve the way Bucky always has, seen behind the super-serum enhanced body and the ridiculous comic book heroics.  She tells him that it was Bucky’s choice, that it’s not Steve’s fault.  She holds his hands, tries to rub away the cold that’s settled into his heart and his blood. 

But he can’t really return that touch, kind and loving as it is, can’t say “Yes” the way he’s always done for the man who’d always been the center of his world. 

There’s the mission, the last one, where they are meant to cut off the last of HYDRA’s heads, salt and burn it to ensure that it won’t return.  Steve’s on the plane that’s meant to bring HYDRA’s weapons on American soil and he’s not letting that happen.  He’s not going to let them win.

He’s making his choice, just like Bucky did. 

He makes his farewells to Peggy, promises her their dance.  He’s oddly calm and maybe, just maybe a little hopeful.  Because he remembers a plush bear and a voice in his ear and arms around his body.  And maybe he hasn’t imagined countless kisses pressed against his hair, just when he’s in that space between asleep and awake, a quiet admission of love which he’s never meant to hear. 

Maybe he’ll get to hear that now.  Maybe he’ll finally know. 

I’m coming over to the other side now, Buck, he thinks. 

Yes. 

- end -

anonymous asked:

Here art some comment of no way RocksCorps2017 "Lauren has fucking found her self I'm so proud. God bless her soul" "Omg! Yas! LAUREN GOT HER VOICE BACK.😍😍she got rest now her voice is less raspy and damaged" "Is it me or is Lauren gaining some of her ease and brightness back into her belts? During the 7/27 era anything above a bb4 was a scratchy strained mess (thought I like her voice like that). This album and era she's singing C5s and c#5s with clarity we haven't seen since 2014/2015" peach

omg her c5s this era have been pretty good…while not supported they’re still pretty good regardless - Harib

After Hours

Tony realised that he was getting to the age where parties and the people he invited to those parties, we’re stupid. He would spend way too much money on people he didn’t like, and cleaning up after them, and it all left him exhausted.

After one particular party, Tony was flaked out on the couch, supping a beer while Pepper, God bless her, turfed everyone out.

“Thanks, Potts.” He said when she came back inside, holding a fresh beer up for her. “Take a load off.”

A small note on how to be a nice atheist.

I just had a lovely chat with an older Black woman because we were walking in the same direction.  When we split, she said “God bless you."  Then she reached for a hug, so I hugged her back and said, "You too ma'am, have a wonderful afternoon.”  And you know what?  We both left that pleasant interaction smiling.

Don’t be that atheist who makes a war out of every “God” mention.  Why take away someone’s joy over a 3 minute interaction?  She meant that “God bless you” with all of her heart & I appreciated it.  I’ve been an atheist for over a decade, but I do hope she feels blessed in her life, and if she attributes that to God, then good on her.

Whether she would use her beliefs to shame me or the way I live my life is 1) unknown and 2) irrelevant to that moment.  You can’t know someone’s heart, and I choose to take the good in people when doing otherwise would add unnecessary negativity to the world.