Things to Remember On Your Very Worst Day

1. You’re not the only one to have walked this road.

On one level, this is hardly solace. When you’ve lost a loved one, it doesn’t help knowing that others have gone through it too. But there are moments of clarity where you can stop, look at those who have been down this road and see that, yes, they made it through—and you will, too.

2. You’re going to discover who your true friends are.

Most of us have a lot of “friends.” But there’s something about tragedy that makes the cream rise to the top. At first you’re going to be surprised (and probably hurt) at who doesn’t call and check up on you, but you’re going to be astonished at who rises to the occasion. This is important for two reasons:

1) When all’s said and done, we may want to reprioritize our friends

2) We need to remember what kind of friends we want to be when others are in crisis

3. Don’t make decisions based on your current emotional state.

When you’re handed your severance check, you may think to yourself, “Wow. I am taking this exceptionally well.”

Give it time—in two hours you’re probably going to be crying into your second pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Next thing you know, you’ll be having a heated, one-sided argument into a bathroom mirror.

Simply put something in your mouth so that you don’t choke on your tongue, buckle up and ride it out. Don’t make any decisions or take any major actions during this period—you’ll probably regret them. Trauma’s a roller coaster, just hold on.

4. Be mindful of those around you.

One of the worst things about stress is the effect is has on those around you. Be mindful of the spouse, children, siblings, parents, church members, etc. who have to walk through this with you. You don’t always have the luxury of crawling into bed and waiting until the pain has subsided.

If you lose someone close to you, the stress ripples outward to those around you. While it’s important to not stuff your feelings, it’s also important not to be indulge yourself in them at the expense of your loved ones. As inhumane as it sounds, sometimes it’s important to soldier on for the sake of those around you.

With that in mind, you will need one or two confidants, and it may be wise to make them outside of trauma’s wake.

5. God is already at work redeeming this crisis.

While I don’t subscribe to the theological idea that God has preordained our suffering, I do take heart that God’s more interested in bringing good out of my situation than even I am. There is probably more comfort in this fact than any other condolence (but hearing it from you isn’t going to be as helpful as remembering it myself).

Lastly remember, in the immortal words of M. Scott Peck:

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult—once we truly understand and accept it—then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

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“No amount of recognition, influence or fame could ever be a substitute for having your identity rooted in the Lord. He fills us with confidence that can only come from knowing where our true value lies.” // Matt Stinton

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DAY 125/365
Part 2 of 2

Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
2 Co. 6:14 (NKJV)

My dear sister,

Not just anyone gets to date you. Wait for the one who is on the same page as you:

1. What it means to be equally yoked
This is what it means to be equally yoked: A “yoke” is an object used to harness two animals together for plowing. In order for the two animals to accomplish any work at all, they have to be equally yoked. Without that, they won’t make any progress. They won’t get anything done. This is why we are not to be unequally yoked with believers. It’s not because we hate unbelievers, because as Christ followers, we are to love everyone (John 13:34-35), however, when it comes to this person you plan on having an intimate bond with, you have to be headed in the same direction.

2. Wait for the one who is on the same page, even when it comes to dating
Don’t just let any guy consume all of your time because he seems like a good guy. A lot of times people rush into situations where their talking to someone, even though they know they are not ready to be a serious, intentional relationships. Sometimes we jump into things before we’re ready, and that’s how we end up with so many people who are constantly in and out of relationships. The way that you can steer away from this is by not pouring all of your time and energy into someone who is not serious. If you desire a godly intentional relationship, don’t spend all of your time waiting for a text or a phone call from a guy who isn’t looking to be committed. If you desire to date someone with the understanding that you’re not dating just because, then don’t let all of your time be consumed by someone who is only looking to date just because. You can’t make him pursue you. You can’t make him be serious. But you CAN make the choice to wait on the Lord for the one that is on the same page when it comes to how to pursue a godly woman. Wait for the one who knows who he belongs to and is not afraid to pursue!

Biblical context + further reading: 2 Co. 6