ok ok fuck. by popular demand here is a summary of my adventure zone homestuck au. god fucking hell
so 12 trolls play a game:
-rust: barrie, thief of heart, rust for redrobe
-bronze: magnus, heir of time (heirs rush in), earthy brown, low lifespan, latinx hc??
-gold: davpot, maid of blood (for bonds), gold bc pilot
-olive: ahvee, prince of doom, olive bc friendly and useful
-jade: mearle, page of life (power he doesnt know how to harness), jade bc plants and nuturing + religion
-teal: carrey, rogue of breath, teal bc dragons
-cerulean: lucrea, sylph of mind, cerulean bc psychic powers
-indigo: kilian, knight of rage (rage doesnt suit her but nothing else quite did either), indigo bc Strong
-purple: taakko ataaco (mage of void bc hes resourceful, a hands-on improviser) n chalup ataaco (witch of light bc shes active n direct + void n light r opposites), purple bc magic
-violet: johann, bard of hope, violet bc fish
-fuchsia: ayngus, seer of space (self explanatory), fuchsia bc he deserves the world
the universe is a jellyfish, whoever that is smiling inside the hunger is caliborn/lord english, edward and lydia are doc scratch
so theyve played through their session and theyre all standing on the lily platform ready to claim the ultimate prize, and magnus has just opened the door when the platform gets slashed. him, taako, and merle make it through before the break; lup was halfway through when the door was destroyed and enters the new universe already dead.
their reward in their session was to be reincarnated as humans in the new universe, with no memory of their previous life - they grow up as mags, taako, and merl. (note that theyre all 13 when the story takes place. merle just talks like an old guy)
mags lives in the suburbs with his pet goldfish, steven. steven glows white and shoots green lightning and can bend the laws of spacetime, but mags doesnt question this much. his stepdad who he named the fish after is dead, but he did leave the house full of chairs. fucker sure liked carpentry to an unreasonable degree, huh
taak lives in nyc (new york, but also an apartment in a city) and he fucking loves wizards. his house is just full of shitty wizards and experimental cookbooks. his older brother sazed, however, seems to love circuitously mocking his passions by leaving all these fuckin cakes around the house. the stairs are clogged with cake. its a deeply-layered mind game cooking war
merls been living on an island for as long as he can remember. his grandpa pan is a well known botanist, environmentalist, and explorer, and hes not home very often, so a lot of the time merl is just alone with his gardens. pan is super into pumpkins specifcally for some reason, and also filled the house with statues of goats n kenny chesney memorabilia
meanwhile, all the other trolls are stuck in the veil. similarly to what karkat thought of john when they first discovered the humans, like half the remaining group started to freak out about being apparently trapped on a meteor for the rest of their lives and the ensuing panic turned into resentment towards the thb for escaping. p much everybody but lucretia, barry, and angus started to lose their cool real bad
so to prevent everybody from making rash decisions and fucking over the thbs lives lucretia took the Executive Decision to wipe everyones memories with her psychic abilities. this broke davenport (as he was a psion she had to be more thorough with him to be sure the wipe worked, but she went too far and destroyed his mind, mituna style). barry, another powerful psychic, thought her measures were excessive at best and tried to stop her (make her pay but like. not fatal), retreating deep into the meteor when he proved unsuccessful. lucretia blamed a ton of stuff on him to make sure nobody would listen to him and ruin everything
from there, she took it upon herself to guide the thb into playing sburb, since that was the trolls only chance of getting out any more. the others on the meteor joined in one by one, without actually remembering anything about their old friends. there wasnt much lucretia could do to stop barry from contacting them from his own husktop, however; she could sometimes interfere with his signal, but that was it. so while his messages were sometimes garbled, he acted as an occasional guide in the same way he does in taz
so the boys play the game. lup is a jar of ashes on taakos shelf, his first sprite prototyping was an umbrella and the second was her. lupsprite. she only remembers fragments of their old life but they know theyre twins. magnus prototyped steven and a wooden duck. merle prototyped his grandpas book, the xtreme teen survival guide, and an onion
since they dont have a time or space player, their session is null. only by bringing in the trolls and their planets from the previous session will they be able to complete the game: this way their main quest leads directly to their friends being rescued, which works to lucretias advantage as she doesnt have to invent a reason why they should rescue the trolls.
everthing, of course, goes wrong. taak puts a bathtub in mags’ hallway.
From bestselling BRYAN LEE O’MALLEY (Scott Pilgrim) and superstar newcomer LESLIE HUNG! Lottie Person is a glamorous fashion blogger living her best life—at least that’s what she wants you to think. The truth is, her friends are terrible people, her boyfriend traded her up for someone younger, her allergies are out of control, and she may or may not have killed somebody! SNOTGIRL VOL. 1 is the perfect introduction to one of 2016’s most buzzed-about titles! Collects SNOTGIRL #1-5.
In the grand tradition of comic book reboots like ARCHIE VOL. 1, Archie Comics proudly presents… JUGHEAD VOL. 2 – from the super team of Chip Zdarsky (HOWARD THE DUCK), Ryan North (THE UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL) and Derek Charm (REGULAR SHOW)! JUGHEAD VOL. 2 features bears, witches and pranks – oh my! You won’t want to miss a minute of the hilarious action!
Answers are given and secrets are revealed as Kyle Barnes and Sidney have a conversation that will change EVERYTHING. Kyle has never been in more danger. THE WALKING DEAD creator ROBERT KIRKMAN’s latest horror hit is now a Cinemax TV show, available on iTunes and Steam now. Collects OUTCAST BY KIRKMAN and AZACETA #19-24.
Stranded in the mountains, the Great Champion and the young dog-wizard Dusty discover gods, goats, living statues, oracular crows, and dangerous secrets about the history of the Autumnlands. Secrets that could help them save the world—if they’re able to survive. The hit epic-fantasy series continues, by superstar creators KURT BUSIEK, BENJAMIN DEWEY and JORDIE BELLAIRE. Named one of the A.V. Club’s Best of 2015. Collects THE AUTUMNLANDS #7-14.
After lying entombed in a subterranean prison for 2,000 years, the Celtic demigod known as Thorn has finally escaped-thanks to the power hidden in a determined young artist named Isla Mackintosh. Now the tremors from his supernatural jailbreak are shaking the British Isles from Glasgow to London-and breaking down the barriers between this world and the Otherworld beyond. But the forces that have invited Thorn’s wrath have plans of their own-subtle designs woven around Isla and her missing sister, whose murder 25 years ago set everything in motion. Will Thorn’s carefully plotted coup succeed against them? Or will Scotland and the rest of the mortal realm sink into a new dark (and bloody) age?
there are too many people in the world that call professor oak an abuser and im very tired
SALT HOUR. for the next hour, talk to me on/off anon about what has been getting your rp goat! status || accepting forever probably
who would ever?? call oak an abuser??? man oak is definitely far from anything like that, & beyond the dead horse that is people trying to play off the gameplay ploy to let you name green as oak being a bad grandfather, i can’t think of anything else that warrants such a serious accusation. like. no. he’s gr8. leave him alone.
you look into a trash can and there is a squirrel in it, staring up at you. you feel afraid. you do not understand why.
dean rucker is always smiling. always. you have never seen him with another face.
every day, you go to seaco to get food. every day, you hear voices coming from your stomach. they are screaming
the bell tower rings every six hours. you always ask to make sure everyone else heard. for when the bell tolls, it tolls for thee, and thee alone.
every few weeks you receive an email from a ‘president hurley.’ you have never seen this man. who is he? where did he come from?
each time you pass ball circle, there are always boys playing frisbee. the same boys, every day and night. do they ever leave?
the devil-goat statue suddenly disappears on the night of the new moon. it returns the next day.
WHO IS MARTY MORRISON???WHERE DOES SHE GET HER INFORMATION???? HOW DID SHE GET YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS??
2am in winter, you are hiking up the hill next to the nest after a day of studying. the fountain appears to be running. you blink. nothing is there.
you pass the convergence center, and the people inside are all staring intensely at their computers. you start to feel uneasy. you try to catch their attention. they do not respond. you go inside and yell. they do not acknowledge you. you are screaming. no one hears
david hart has been at mary washington for as long as you can remember. you look at a yearbook from 1976. you see a photograph of a man with a beard and baseball hat playing frisbee. he looks familiar.
Yule goats are an old-timey Christmas tradition in Scandinavia and Northern Europe. Today, you can still find straw goats decorating many Scandinavian Christmas trees, as well as the occasional larger version: the Swedish town of Gavle, for example, puts up a 40-foot-tall straw goat every year in early December and keeps it there until after the New Year.
So what, right? It’s just a goat statue. It doesn’t even make noise or drag around cars with its tongue or anything. Except that the Gavle Goat does have one special power … the power to be burned down, against city officials’ best efforts, almost every year.
ANJ, what do you think of Drake's "I used to wanna be on Roc-A-Fella then I turned into Jay." line in Summer Sixteen? You think he reached that GOAT status? 🤔
Bear with yo, I’mma speak on this in depth and clear this shit up right now, HA! Firstly, you know ANJ is a Jigga Stan, but I do enjoy Drake and have no qualms listening to his pop-friendly hip hop. As Hov says, music is universal and we all have the ability to appreciate the many forms of rap. But let’s get into Drake’s latest false start: No one should compare themselves to JAY Z, least not Drake. Was it even a shot? I’m not sure. Because a rapper with reference tracks shouldn’t go anywhere near that comparison to save themselves embarrassment - and I’m hoping Drake knows that and was instead paying homage to the legend Hov. If it was a shot? I’d say I appreciate Drake is having his moment currently, and his music is catchy as fuck and serves a purpose in the game, but it is fascinating how the public have given him so much hype his ego has managed to inflate to declaring himself to be Jayhovah. Nah boy. #FACTS? Drake is worth $75 million, Hov is worth $560 million.
Drake has four platinum albums, Hov has SIXTEEN. Drake has sold 5 million albums worldwide, Hov has sold 60 million. Drake is signed to Wayne, who is signed to Birdman; Hov built Roc-A-Fella Records from nothing into one of the most successful rap labels ever. OVO Sound is owned by Warner Music Group, but meanwhile Hov owns the entire Roc Nation company, including the music label, management group, and a sports management division. Drake signs his life away to a streaming service, Hov BUYS one. Drake is an ambassador for a NBA team, while Hov has actually owned a NBA team AND still owns the arena the Nets play in. AND if we’re simply talking skills, which is the most important part of any rapper, Hov out-rhymes Drake ten-fold. Hov studied his elders and perfected the rap craft, but Drake is out here just swinging at his OGs. Rappers these days seem to get a little cash, quickly forget who the GOAT is, and start speaking out they neck. EVERYBODY is influenced by JAY Z, so these rappers need to stop coming at him with this petty shit. He perfected what it means to be a successful rapper, while still showing a consistent talent as he changed to fit the rap environment. Y’all need to leave him alone with his business ventures, cause he’s on some mogul shit now trying to create a legacy for his future generations. There is room for everyone to make music and spread love, these fake beefs are worthless and not worth our time yo. Step to Hov when you can actually match him Drake, otherwise stay in your lane.