go-directly-to-jail

8

I keep seeing people make statements like “the LGBT community came together to fight homophobia and transphobia only!” So I made these, use them freely. If you want to make more (e.g. for aces/aros, or whatever) inbox me and I’ll send you the original to edit. 

If these look weird for you… they look weird for me too because Tumblr likes to force them to fit the screen. What you do is stick one in your post; click the little gear at the top right and change it from “rich text” to “HTML”; look for the bit that says “tmblr-full” and change it to just “tmblr”, and it should fix it. (I couldn’t do that because for some reason, it wouldn’t upload them if I put them inside a text post. SIGH) 

Descriptions/uses for these cards:

If what you are saying about community politics excludes intersex people:

[Worn vintage “go directly to jail” Monopoly card, edited to say “Your argument leaves out intersex people. Go directly to Google, do not pass go, do not collect $200.” Fine print at bottom warns, “If you do not include intersex people by your third turn, you must pay the $50 fine.”]

If you think intersex people are (by definition) some kind of trans people, OR if you think that intersex people only “count” if they were assigned the wrong gender at birth:

[Worn vintage “go directly to jail” Monopoly card, edited to say “You are confusing intersex with trans. Go directly to Google, do not pass go, do not collect $200.” Fine print at bottom warns, “If you do not learn what intersex means by your third turn, you must pay the $50 fine.”]

If you think intersex people are only part of the community if they “are trans or experience same-gender attraction”:

[Worn vintage “go directly to jail” Monopoly card, edited to say “You are misinformed about intersex people. Go directly to Google, do not pass go, do not collect $200.” Fine print at bottom warns, “If you do not learn what intersex means by your third turn, you must pay the $50 fine.”]

If you don’t believe in biphobia:

[Worn vintage “go directly to jail” Monopoly card, edited to say “You don’t believe biphobia exists. Go directly to Google, do not pass go, do not collect $200.” Fine print at bottom warns, “If you do not learn what biphobia means by your third turn, you must pay the $50 fine.”]

If you think bisexuals are only affected by homophobia, OR if you think bisexuals are “only oppressed if people think we’re gay”:

[Worn vintage “go directly to jail” Monopoly card, edited to say “You are confusing bi with gay/lesbian. Go directly to Google, do not pass go, do not collect $200.” Fine print at bottom warns, “If you do not learn about bi people by your third turn, you must pay the $50 fine.”]

If you think trans people are only oppressed because people think we’re gay:

[Worn vintage “go directly to jail” Monopoly card, edited to say “You are confusing trans with gay/lesbian. Go directly to Google, do not pass go, do not collect $200.” Fine print at bottom warns, “If you do not learn about trans people by your third turn, you must pay the $50 fine.”]

If you think nonbinary people are not really trans, or that it’s super hetero to be into nonbinary people or something:

[Worn vintage “go directly to jail” Monopoly card, edited to say “You are misinformed about what trans means. Go directly to Google, do not pass go, do not collect $200.” Fine print at bottom warns, “If you do not learn about trans people by your third turn, you must pay the $50 fine.”]

im sorry but how can anyone fucking honest to god call serial killers “cinnamon rolls” and “pure” and fucking just completely dismiss what they did!! ive seen three different people do that today now like!!! no!!! wyd!!! they KILLED people and if you cant what’s wrong with that and cant see that they should NOT be idolized then i seriously question your morals because friendly reminder!!!! murder is fucking wrong!!!

Hascon Card Ideas

I have so many ideas for these cards, I had to share my troll designs with you.

It’s Nerf or Nothing - An equipment that gives your creature +0/+0. Equip Cost is spending ten minutes finding things on the ground.

Go Directly to Jail - Reskinned Path to Exile.

Robots in Disguise - A vehicle with a crew cost of folding it into Origami.

Drizzt - Legendary Creature. Your deck can contain any number of cards named Drizzt.

Whats a Heroscape? - The card is almost completely redacted, with artwork of the box for the Kaladesh expansion of Arena of the Planeswalkers that should have been. It’s take from you before you’re allowed to leave the building.

Clue - It was Liliana on Shandalar with the Chain Veil.

Friendship is Magic - Your My Little Pony Custom Card is now real.

Play-Doh - Who cares? You’re going to eat this one anyway.

Littlest Pet Shop - This card is a choking hazard for children under 3.

Star Wars and Marvel - Oh my god we wish.

anonymous asked:

So what happened when dexnursey played monopoly ? (I love the scrabble post btw 💜💜💜 )

•well when i imagined it both dex and nursey were completely drunk when they played it so keep that in mind

•dex played with the little horse dude and refused to pick it up to move it and instead made it slowly gallop across the board. it takes him a full minute to go 10 spaces

•nursey tried to stack houses and said he was making a condo

•he later accused dex of gentrification when he built a hotel on baltic ave

•dex started hoarding all the money and claimed that he was representing corporate america

•nursey tried to make it rain with monopoly money but it didn’t really work and he might have cried a little (listen he’s an emotional drunk)

•dex: “babe quit the” [points to space on board] “WATER WORKS”

•halfway through dex hid the dice and just watched nursey wander around getting progressively more confused for like twenty minutes

•they christened the chance spaces “tango spaces” because of the giant question marks

•[points to diamond ring on luxury tax space] “why won’t you buy me a ring like that”

•nursey stepped on the iron piece and cut his foot

•"BABE I’M GONNA GET TETANUS" “no you’re not”

•nursey: [accidentally tears single monopoly bill] dex: “THE ECONOMY DEREK”

•"fuck this game. fuck capitalism. fuck the bourgeoisie landlords" “derek you sound like shitty”

•"i know i’m supposed to collect $200 but this game is super old so adjusting for inflation i’m gonna collect $1000" “will what the fuck”

•"you gotta go directly to jail derek" “WE’RE GETTING DIVORCED” “we aren’t even married”

•they don’t even finish the game it takes so long they fall asleep and when they wake up nursey has a house stuck to his face

•drunk monopoly is forever ruled out as a way to kill time it was so bad

a game board stretches at your feet
houses as far as the eye can see
a skyline in bright sunlight
pawn beats rock
queen beats king
this is not the game you’re playing
you pray to God and pass Go

there are shadows dancing in white fog
your thoughts are cheated
your mind decayed
you feel ashes of yesterday between your toes
you pray to God and pass Go

there’s golden blood on the floor
blood on the tiles
blood on your hands
blood on children
you pray to God and pass Go

the city is long fallen
the skyline ashen and dusty on the horizon
there’s no God to pray to anymore

this is life
this is monopoly

(go to jail- go directly to jail. do not pass Go. do not collect $200)

- who would chose to be God? | r.m

Naughty Classy Party - Luhan

Group: EXO
Member: Luhan
Type: Smut
Warning: sexual content!


There it was, wrapped up in a red, satin bow. It was not too big, yet not really small either. You touched it and bit your lip. It was all so…unexpected.

You already shook the box several times to guess what was inside it but it didn’t really make any sound. You glimpsed at your bed, where you found it, and noticed you overlooked a little paper. It must’ve come with the box. You grabbed it and unfolded the little letter.

Keep reading

@qu33nbeee

(doing this over here to keep it all in one place~)

Request:  Omg now that I read your hc that vanderwood’s mc is basically a maniac driver, I kinda want to see your interpretation of the first time they get in a car with her??? Like anything from going to the store or escaping for someone,,, fuck I love vanderwood so muchhhh



At approximately seven forty-five in the evening, Mary Vanderwood the III suddenly slammed out of the bedroom, grabbed their coat, and stumbled to the front door with the fervent desperation of a man fumbling to grasp onto their last lifeline to existence.

You were, of course, concerned - Vanderwood didn’t usually succumb so thoroughly to panic, and everything had been fine a few hours ago when they’d gone to lie down and take a nap. It’d been a stressful day at work - they’d complained about what lengths they’d needed to take to get off at five - and you were, at first, worried that something had gone horrifically wrong regarding their job. Did someone die? Was their a national crisis?

“Darling,” you called out to them, shifting so your arms were draped across the couch. “What’s wrong?”

“The store!” They cried out, voice thin and high pitched. “It’s closing!”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I will never understand why fellow LGBT peeps fetishize other LGBT peeps. i believe this is the work of a one Dean Wagner turning our own into yuri/yaoi/bara reading maniacs

Honestly that pisses me off like.. gay ppl who think its okay to fetishize gays like that???

I used to know this one bitch who was super into yaoi/yuri bs and like.. she was bi??? And she was convinced it made it okay??? Like.. no. Ur wrong Im sorry go directly to jail do not pass go do not collect $200

Defensive Artists prompt List
  • I found you looking at my sketchbook while I went to the bathroom and I’m about ready to punch you but you immediately offer yours and we share interests.
  • I’m practicing for my dance performance and I saw you sneaking in the door and I’m ready to call the police but you’re also in a leotard and you just came early because you’re the dancer in the next slot for this room.
  • You sneezed on a museum piece without even attempting to cover your mouth and I may be here with a tour guide but I’m not above losing the group to fight you, how dare you sneeze on something worth more than my home.
  • I saw your throw out the hand-painted menu at this fine dining restaurant as we were both leaving and I may be here to schmooze my new boss, but I won’t hesitate to challenge you for throwing out a priceless momento of your time here.
  • I caught you spraying over my beautiful mural with a horribly made tag, please go directly to jail or I will not hesitate to ruin you.

The more shipping discourse I see the more I just physically recoil whenever I see anti-anti arguments of any sort. Like, I’m sorry to all my anti-anti friends, but at some point it’s just. Yikes.

Like I saw this one post just now from an anti-anti trying to “analyze” antis and it legit makes me feel kinda sick like????? Dude?????? Instead of going on some bullshit psycho-analysis tirade why don’t you focus on what antis are actually arguing and what you, yourself, may be doing wrong???

This could just be instinctive distrust kicking in since all but one or two anti-antis I have encountered have been trying to defend shipping even though the topic on the table is pedophilia and CSA ships (which are absolutely positively completely and utterly unacceptable no matter what do not try to justify them go directly to jail do not take a hundred dollars do not pass go get the fuck outta here with all that), but like…….. Yikes????

I now have a deep and enduring distaste for this main character

Steve, you did not just punch that paramedic 3 times in the face while the ambulance was rolling. 

Hell, no. 

I don’t care if you really, really need to escape the ambulance because conspiracies, you do not punch your paramedic. 

NO. 

BAD STEVE, GO DIRECTLY BACK TO JAIL. DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200. BAD, BAD STEVE.