go-australia

~Meet Me In The Hallway~

 Huge shout out to @emulateharry And @nocontrolforlouis for their eagle eyes and cheerleading!! 

 Chapter 4- Detour

I thought about Harry everyday while I was home, a month in someone’s bed could do that. That was the sadness of geography.It was the worst the first week home, when I hadn’t heard from him and my sleepless nights were full of reverie. I, surprisingly, missed tour.

Keep reading

an incomplete list of the batshit insane things hermione’s done

-prioritized her education over her life

-instantly became ride or die with harry after the troll incedent

-set snape on fire

-brewed an illegal potion for two months in the girls’ bathroom

-turned into a furry

-immediate thought upon encountering a giant murdersnake was ‘better make sure the others find this page on my helpless petrified body bc god knows they won’t figure it out themselves’

-wanted to take finals after like a month in a magical coma

-traveled through time to get even more homework

-figured out lupin was a werewolf and didn’t tell anyone because he was a relatively competent teacher compared to magic ryan seacrest and literal voldemort

-essentially snatched trelawney’s weave gotdamn

-slugged draco malfoy, terrified him and his hulking buddies into running, went back in time to watch it again

-confronted a werewolf and his alleged mass murderer friend because, again, ride or die

-broke time travel laws in order to jailbreak azkaban escapee and his pet hippogriff

-dated an international sports star

-put up with all the vile shit rita skeeter wrote about her

-joined secret order dedicated to fighting voldemort

-put up with harry’s shit

-imprisoned a woman in a jar for months, blackmailed her into doing what she wanted

-formed and organized secret defense class, peer pressured harry into leading it

-permanently disfigured the girl who ratted them out. snitches get stitches.

-manipulated the shit out of umbridge

-basically left her to rot in the forbidden forest

-went to fight death eaters with like six of her mates despite her misgivings (RIDE. OR. DIE.)

-immediately agreed to destroy the dark lord’s soul with her buddies despite not having any idea how (RIDE! OR! DIE!)

-mind wiped her parents and made them go to australia to keep them safe

-essentially singlehandedly kept harry and ron alive and functional for the majority of the deathly hallows

-wore the locket while still managing not to be a shithead

-got the shit tortured out of her by bellatrix lestrange. didn’t go insane.

-fought in the battle of hogwarts. didn’t die.

-was unfailingly loyal and did everything she could to keep harry safe for seven years, even when he was quite frankly being a jackass

Okay, so going off the whole space Australia thing, imagine aliens would think of ACTUAL AUSTRALIA. Humans are batshit insane, we do some crazy shit, but a decent amount of us are shocked by the mere concept of living in Australia. That place is no joke, it’s a death trap of a continent that somehow became a badass country. You don’t fuck with Australia.

Alien: what is a kangaroo?

Human: oh, it’s an animal from Australia. They hop around and the carry their kids in pouches. They may be cute, but don’t get them angry, they can kill you.

The…the human is actually WARNING them of something? The human is AFRAID?

Human: that’s just Australia for you, though. Literally EVERYTHING on that continent can kill you, so I guess it’s not THAT off. Be careful if you ever go to Australia, though. It’s a very dangerous place.

And this all of the aliens avoid Australia at all costs because if the fucking HUMANS are scared then it must be the most dangerous and frightening place ever.

Dan’s Liveshow // 3.14.17

“Hi, I’m Dan”

“You look young”

The AmazingPhil hit 4m YouTube subscribers

“Thanks. For him?”

Tb to the subbydingdongs tweet

Him and Phil went to get sushi with some old pals

He got a dessert that looked like a zen garden

Tiny wooden rake

He turned off the heating today

Taking sherbet 

Phil’s new video

He said “we” joined the gym so perhaps he did also?

When Phil got home he was literally green poor guy

“Promoing my pal aside”

He was really angry when Phil told him what happened 

New danisnotonfire video either tomorrow or day after

A lot of cat gifs and peer pressure

The video is something he made for himself (?)

Meditation

Curls r cool

Japan trip tips

He loves long chatty videos 

“’What do you think about kickthepj?’ I don’t know who that is but he sounds like a dick with no talent”

“Don’t be hard on yourself”

He prefers understated clothing

“’You look tired’ Always”

Him and Phil will be attending Playlist Live in Florida 

He loves bumblebees

Fuck wasps though 

RIP bumblebee 

Queen on my vagina

He hasn’t seen Logan yet

He may change the title of his piano teacher video to not be in all caps

“Is love a social construct?” discussion 

He loves Lorde 

Steven Universe 

He preferred stoic Garnet 

Haru who? 

Recent dapg videos

“He sheer panic Phil was exuding trying not to die… it was funny.”

He’s been listening to Swedish electro pop

New Frank Ocean song discussion or something 

Yuri on Ice saved us all, so season 2 will come when we need it most

Kinkshaming (perhaps relating to the new video?)

Expect nothing from the new dinof video

Crustypie9

“Phil is a weirdo magnet.”

The mess in Phil’s bedroom is a shoe and a plastic bag

He wants to see Get Out

Tb to when Phil fell off of the stage at TATINOF Playlist

They’re excited to go back to Australia 

Appaz him and Phil discuss rodents 

No one knows if the trainer was named Kyle or Leon

Sparkling water

“The background of my mind”

“Dan talk about the grandma vagina”

They will be asking for new ideas for the 7sc app soon

He doesn’t like people but nature is cool

Hello to everyone in Chile

New Sims and DannyFire videos soon

“Hydrate, meditate, contemplate, try to get a mate”

“I’ll see you next time, internet buddies”

Mentions of Phil: ||||| ||||| ||||| ||||| ||||| ||||| ||||| |||| 

Anyway if you want to know about what’s going on in Australia right now:

The government is going to vote on whether a non-binding compulsory plebiscite (vote) is going to happen on Marriage Equality.

If they vote no, they’re going to hold… Get this… A NON-COMPULSORY VOTE…

VIA POST. AKA THROUGH AUSTRALIA POST, ONE OF THE LEAST COMPETENT GOVERNMENT CORPORATIONS IN THIS COUNTRY (AND THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING)

And who will be in charge of collecting the data?

Why, the Australian Bureau of Statistics, of course.

WHO JUST LAST YEAR FUCKED UP A CENSUS SO BAD THAT MOST OF THE COUNTRY WEREN’T EVEN ABLE TO DO IT

Both of these are going to be extremely expensive and extremely ridiculous.

And if the public votes yes on marriage equality… THE POLITICIANS AREN’T OBLIGATED TO MAKE IT LAW

This is completely fucking ridiculous.

These are our rights. Being held to a popular vote like we’re the fucking national anthem.

How fucking degrading.

I’m so angry.

to be honest, i expected piracy in the future to involve a lot more airships and a lot less illegally downloaded music

I am a Huge Nerd for alien and human interactions that go across tumblr (space Australia and Stabby come to mind) but like for real what about the human concept of luck? Each culture has its own, too, and also superstition so like this human will go nowhere near black cats but others are just like ‘oh kitty kitty kitty’.

Try to explain to someone that doesn’t understand that breaking a mirror is more than just a glass hazard. No it’s not a mystical mirror or a religious thing. It’s just a mirror, you broke it, now you get 7 earth years of bad luck. Is to the day? Who knows. But 7 years dude.

Or like that one person who always has stuff break around them. ‘Why are they banned from the engine room?’ 'Just trust us Nyrak.’

Or what about people who things always go outrageously right for. That person where any number of the things that happen should not even be able to happen, and yet here we are.

That person that has the luck/innate skill to balance anything on their nose.

Lucky numbers. The importance of the zodiac too, while we’re at it. “The stars are not in alignment” 'have you been reading that human newspaper again Marshal?’ “No, Lydia, shut up” ,Are your species sensitive to the stars, humans?, “Nyark you know if I could explain it I would but I honestly cannot”

Good luck explaining Murphy’s Law to aliens who do not have the concept of luck or cosmic mythical interference.

5

This week the Social Team received a stunning gift from 89 different fans, most of them members of the MTG community here on Tumblr. This effort was coordinated by Max (@commandtower-solring-go), from Australia.

The gift contains a lovely letter and a nice binder of cards, some have notes attached, while others are signed.

This is a wonderful reminder that not only do we work on a game that brings many people joy and meaning, but we have the honor of being part of a creative, fun and all-around awesome community. 

From the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

-The Magic: The Gathering Social Team

Phil’s Livestream // 2.23.17

He’s wearing his NASA shirt

“Have a cup of tea. Hang out with me!”

Storm Doris has attacked a wheely bin outside

His plants have been gaining leaves he’s doing something right

Trampoline videos

“Tie some bricks to it”

He worries about cats and dogs during storms he hopes your cats are okay

“Calm down. Have a green tea. Stop being so stressed.” him @ the storm sky

He got a haircut today at his house (sides are short but not shaved)

They talked about dogs

He finds hoovering quite fun

Hoover Fantasies 

Phil’s Liveshow Haul

Follow him on twitter @ AmazingPhil #spon

His hippo lamp

He looked up the most dangerous animals (hippo is #4)

Hippo facts

Pictures vs memories discussion

The Impossible Quiz was exhausting

Probs not Impossible Quiz #2

“Don’t watch me in jail”

He froze for a minute (or it was a really good mannequin challenge can’t tell)

He melted a bit of his NASA shirt while ironing rip

7 new planets discussion 

“Maybe just leave them alone if they’re happy, you know?”

He gets very excited at the idea of space giraffes 

Lots of universe discussion

Shrimp Prince

He’s seen Moonlight, Manchester by the Sea, and La La Land but Arrival was his favorite 

What fictional universe would you rather live in 

Shrimp Prince of the Rings

Itchy nose

He got a navy blue jumper with a geometric bird on it that he may wear in his next video

He also got the “scent of happiness”

No bad cinema experiences this time 

Pastel edits irl

He likes his black hair a lot so he won’t be changing it soon

“I’ve already got a toddler called Dab”

He’s loving Final Fantasy XV

BROadtrip 

“Could’ve used more diversity”

He took the troll wig Dan mentioned to the charity shop soz

He ate the moss surrounding his cocktail oops

He saw Book of Mormon with his parents 

Horse Prince

New gaming video tomorrow

It’s kind of long but also a Dan vs Phil

They’re going to an Oscar’s party so hopefully he can stay awake

The couple that made him bonk his head on the window

The coffee table is out to get him 

Grammar

They watched Speed and Speed 2 Cruise Control 

50% 2017 calendar (code: FLASHSALE) at DanandPhilShop.com

They’re still working on the pastel merch

They’re going back to Australia coolforsummerfest.com.au 

He’s going to watch Bates Motel again 

He’s watching Riverdale and Homeland 

“I hope you have a great weekend”

“I’ve hoped you’ve had a great evening. Thanks for choosing to spend it with me.”

Mentions of Dan: ||||| |||

Dan and Phil’s Liveshow // 3.30.17

Phil is wearing his NASA shirt

Dan screamed hi

Dan is wearing a Dreamcast shirt

Phil scratched Dan’s face 

Apparently Dan thinks they’re “professional entertainers”

It trailer

They got haircuts

“My ears are ready for some summer action” -Phil

Ugly gifs

“Why are there so many gifs of us?”

YouNow kept giving them error messages as they were trying to go live

They’re going to Australia soon (that’s the reason for the haircut)

Dan stole Phil’s hairdresser

Hi Hector

Video idea: curl Phil’s hair

Phil gets to go first for the hairdresser because that means he gets to use the best small talk

Dan tells Febrise Phil’s stories what a content stealer

“Me and Phil”

Dan gets to clean the camera this week #kinky

“Clean me daddy”

Lambs poppin out

Rodents and mammals what is the truth

Phil ordered flowers for his mum but he accidentally put his address in and got it sent to their house instead

(He got her chocolates and a dvd instead)

Dan’s face is a language warning

Corn prince

“’Dan you have the cutest smile’ What about me?”

They googled loins 

Wholesome Lester? Lighthearted Lester?

“’Dan you look like a meatball’ wait sorry.”

Flower penis

“Bees in the trap”

Phil did the Papyrus laugh

Phil’s new video is trending #8

Mark of Oxin discussion

They filmed a Club Penguin video before it died #RIP

They think there’s a wasp nest on the roof of their apartment 

Thicc bumblebees

“Dan what would you do if Phil died?”

Dan…games

The time change killed them

The last time they were at the cinema Dan held his popcorn in front of his face so he wouldn’t see the trailers

Phil bought metal earplugs 

Petlandia made Dan a book with his dream shibe and made Phil one with his cactus Loki

RIP Loki

Dan’s corner

Phil also bought a lemon humidifier 

Phil’s corner

Dan got up to get The Adventure Scent (related to The Smell of Happiness)

Phil hates it

“We’re always joking”

Gorillaz 

DanandPhilShop.com (or cushionstack.com) get some plushies

They’re back on the anime train

They caught up in Steven Universe 

Riverdale is fine 

Math and NASA

“I don’t think the dog wanted to go to space though I think it was scared” -Phil

They have loads of movies to watch in Australia 

“Andrew Garfield suffering. That’s my kink” -Dan

Keep an eye on their twitters because they’ll be pretty busy before/during Australia 

“We have been Dan and Phil”

“Go inseminate some flowers” “We’re in the wilderness now.”

“Phil please end it”

What If We’re NOT Space Australia?

I’ve seen the “Humans are Space Orcs” and “Earth is Space Australia” tags going around and thought I’d put in my two cents.

I know that this will probably annoy/upset people, but what if Earth isn’t Space Australia? What if Earth is more like Space Canada?

Just take a second to imagine it- aliens on other planets talking about how kind and welcoming and apologetic Humans are. Aliens talking about how aggressive our wildlife can be, even though theirs is deadlier. Aliens making up rumours and steryotypes about Humans that are widely accepted BECAUSE THAT’S ALMOST EXACTLY WHAT WE’RE LIKE! Humans interacting with its sister planets intelligent species (whatever it may be) in the joking way that Canadians and Americans interact- with smart remarks and a sibling-like rivalry.


Just- Earth as Space Canada!