In order to grow, we must subject ourselves to discomfort.
This holds true for whatever we are attempting to accomplish. To get physically fitter, we endure the discomfort of exercise. To improve skills such as writing or art, we must experience the discomfort of being told how we are wrong, and how we must improve. Anyone who tells you gaining these skills is never a challenge, never uncomfortable, never something you’ll be tempted to quit–is lying.
The same holds true for growing to be less bigoted, for learning the truth, or just growing as a person to be more sensitive to others.
No matter who you are, or where you are, or what you think, you are not right about everything. Not now, probably not at any point in the future. In order to grow as a person you need to be prepared to face the discomfort of finding out you were wrong. The discomfort of realizing you thought, said, and supported something that was wrong. The discomfort of realizing yes, you were the bad guy in some way at some time, or just the ignorant annoying bigot that made someone’s day worse.
And the same holds true for learning better behaviors, ones that demonstrate care for others.
There is discomfort in being told what you’re doing or saying is uncomfortable for other people, that what feels natural to you is hurtful to others. There is discomfort in being told that sometimes you are inconsequential, and your feelings don’t matter, and it’s time for you to be quiet and let others talk. But just because it’s uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s untrue.
No one can grow in all ways. But everyone can grow in some way. And when it comes to truth, or sensitivity and care for people around you, no person is exempt.
Now, just because something is painful for discomfiting does not automatically make it true, good, or helpful. However, if you live your life in a way that’s meant to block out anything that’s uncomfortable, then you are blocking out growth.
Learn to accept discomfort. Learn that experiencing discomfort doesn’t make you a lost cause, or an irredeemable being. Learn that it’s not the end, or a final moral judgment on your character. Learn to process the discomfort as a part of life, and instead of staying with what’s comfortable, let yourself grow.
it’s hard to learn to share a dorm bed full-time, even when it’s been years, even when it was their idea. andrew and neil make it work.
The first night, Neil looks at Andrew, already ensconced in his - their - loft and mutters, “Are you sure?”
“You can sleep on the floor,” Andrew suggests unhelpfully, because three years later Neil still loves to ask stupid questions.
Neil makes a face, but it has the desired effect. He climbs the ladder and takes the side of the mattress nearest to the edge. It’s not the first time they’ve shared a dorm bed by any stretch of the imagination, but it is different knowing there’s nowhere to retreat to.
It’s fine. Retreating is Neil’s trick, and he’s mostly given up on that these days.
“There’s the couch,” Neil murmurs, proving Andrew’s point admirably.
“Go to sleep,” Andrew replies.
It literally should not be possible - there shouldn’t be enough room for it to be possible. On the fourth night in a row Neil wakes shivering lightly and completely uncovered, he has to concede that it is indeed completely possible, and also that it’s becoming an issue.
All he can see of Andrew is his hair, gleaming in the thin light from between the curtains where it’s mussed against the pillow. The rest of him is obscured in the folds of the blankets where he’s wound himself into them.
It’s been unusually cold this week, and Neil knows that Andrew feels it more than he ever lets on. It’s in the extra layers he wears to class, and also in the way he keeps one armed curved close to his body and more still than usual as he tries to soften the ache in it. They’re all subtle ways of showing discomfort, but Neil sees them now without looking. There’s a reason why they’ve stayed off the roof this week.
Apparently Andrew’s subconscious either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that Neil might be the one getting cold when the blankets are wrenched off of him at two in the morning. It’s likely a bad sign that Neil is more fond than irritated as a result.
lets play a fun game called: is this new symptom just 1) a part of one of my existing medical conditions, 2) a side effect of the medication i am on or 3) something else entirely that I need to worry about
hello my friends friends !! i’m moose it’s nice 2 meet u all and be here <3 this is jas and….i love her sm ?? she’s one of my oldest muses so i hope y’all like her too !! this might be a little long, but there’s some info about her under the cut. i’d love to plot w/ everyone so just HMU or LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you !!