go reblog!

ART RAFFLE WINNERS

Since everyone has replied to my private messages, here is the public announcement!

1st- @eclecti-kat

2nd- @pointless-pencil

3rd- @deleriousfromcoffee

Congrats to the winners and thank you everyone who participated! ^^

Me:
*Realizing that the Q&A livestream, that I though was going to be the actual panel livestream was canceled
*Not being on SDCC
*A sneak peek and some other news are being revealed, and I’m not there
*Nobody is going to stream the SDCC SU panel
*worring about not seeing the panel or the sneak peek
*Realizing that I will never meet the crewniverse and the voice actors.
Also me:

Honestly those “reblog or you’re a terrible person” things give me so much anxiety. I usually ignore them but they seriously haunt me. Even those posts that are supposed to ease your mind about that kind of thing do not help me. Really, sometimes I just don’t wanna reblog them but then I see them everywhere. They get longer. Things like “I don’t care if this doesn’t go with your blog” and “why would anyone not reblog this” get added to them. A lot of them have good messages but do you really need to prey on people’s anxiety to get your point across? I didn’t reblog a thing about anon hate that said you should reblog it and I know logically it’s not a big deal and I’m not a bad person for not reblogging it but I’m becoming sick. I’m getting the kind of anxiety that builds up in your gut and chest and makes you wanna barf and I’m pretty sure that’s not what that post was intended to do. It doesn’t matter how many reassurances I get or how many pictures of dogs are sent to protect me. They make me so anxious I feel sick. Why does anybody say anything like that on posts like that? Why?

I told you I love you because I couldn’t stand it anymore. Every time I looked at you, there it was. Inside my head, on repeat. Every text I got from you, I could hear it again. I saw it in every one of your smiles. I felt it in every eye contact between us. I heard it in every unspoken word. I thought of it every second. I allowed it to consume me. My love for you was replacing every bone in my body, and my blood turned into my will to tell you how I felt. It pumped through my veins with every beat of my heart, flowing faster whenever I was reminded of the possibility that you could love me too. However, the fear of rejection along with my unhealthy necessity of a perfect love story seemed to be stronger than my survival instincts. When would it be the right time? Would there even be a right time? If there wasn’t one, what would I do? Would I give it the permission to destroy me? I couldn’t find any answers. I was stuck on a deserted island, surrounded by a sea polluted with my own corrupted mind. The only sound I could hear was the voice that never left my ears, speaking the words I refused to let out. The only land I could see was the drop of hope I tried to believe I didn’t have. Maybe if I pretended hard enough, I wouldn’t be disappointed by the lack of love I would receive after my confession. If I confessed it. The only life form present was the dying animals, that soon left me behind and began decomposing into the same questions I had not yet answered. So there I was on a deserted island. Alone, as always. I was running out of time, trying to understand the parts of me which no one ever even told me existed. The parts that people hid from me, because no one taught them about it either. It was a sickening cycle and I didn’t know how to grow out of it. I had become someone I shouldn’t be, but still who I was all along. And with an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness, I lied down. I remembered being on that same place weeks earlier, and letting the Sun dry me out and the ocean bring me down. I had been there once before, ready to give up, when you showed up. Like a knight in shining armor, you came to me. You helped me. You saved me. And as I saw you again, I discovered the solution to my problems. You were far away this time, and you were the one who needed saving. So I got my best sword and I felt ready to do what needed to be done. All I could see was you. There was nothing else but us. And yet, I could still hear the annoying little voice clinging to my every thought, beating together as one, with my heart. However, for the first time, I felt motivated by it instead of being frightened by how loud it was. My instincts may had lost to my doubts, but no kind of force acting on me could be stronger than what I felt for you. So with all the courage I could find inside of my 5'5" mortal body, I finally told you the truth. And after the journey I had been through, I let the old familiar voice in my head rest, replacing it with what you told me. I still hear “I love you” on repeat, but now, it doesn’t represent the feelings hidden deep in my soul, but the ones that were able to escape, only to be met with utter and complete reciprocation, reassuring me with relief. That’s how you make me feel. At peace. The deserted island is now full of colors and flowers and wild life. Sometimes, the darkness radiating from the hole inside me still manages to form a few tornados and destroy a few trees, but the ecosystem in my brain is surviving. I am surviving.
—  The Story of How I Love You ( @oceans-full-of-galaxies )

anonymous asked:

Hi!! I came to your blog for the art and stayed for both the art AND your personality. You seem like such an amazing person!! Would it be invasive to PM you? I'm sorry if it sounds selfish and/or creepy. I kinda want to be friends with you :D

You should definitively pm me!! Anyone who reads this and feels like having a chat, actually! :’)

anyway i meant to make a fancy graphic for this and I might do later but w/e w/e this is a PERMANENT STARTER CALL meaning that by liking/replying to this you’re giving me (and my anxiety that says you don’t want to rp with me) permission to make you rando starters, pop into your ask box or hit you up in memes whenever inspiration strikes me.  You can unlike this post at any time for any reason, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.

honestly can we PLEASE stop adding “i see you not reblogging this” and the like to sj posts

like i get the impulse bc Yes, a lot of the time people will willfully ignore posts that make them a little uncomfy about their privilege but. id actually rather uhhhh not have these discussions be based around guilt tripping and other behaviors that lead to allies reblogging posts less for their content and more as a performative way of showing “check me out! IM not ignoring this!!”

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