Confession: i am only doing uni because, well, i don't want to not do uni. does that make sense? So i spend my days just going through the motions of doing uni work, handing in assignments, all the while living in an alternative reality in my head where i'm doing fun things. And three years have passed in that way. Ever feel like you're just passing time, in your head, and not even being fully present in your life? And that time is just pushing everyone forward and you are just standing still?
That makes sense bc I have felt the same! After high school it’s like what am i supposed to do with life - so it’s either work or go to Uni obviously (unless you have the fortune to do something else that drives you, or if unfortunately, you can’t do any of that). Do you only imagine having fun in your alternate world or do you have activities/hobbies to take a break from reality? Recently I’ve found fun in writing fanfictions, and believe it or not (because I do everything in my power to not study) first I like to research certain things, and think hard about making complex paragraphs and fun dialogues, it fills up my time and I get to produce something and share it. I like drawing too though I don’t do it much, and recently we tried embroidery at Uni and to my surprise I liked it and thought of picking it up sometime in the future (as a kid I hated it). Recently I was so into a game (mystic messenger), and before that an anime (yuri on ice) (- I still love both of them), and judging by my blog I’m trapped in drama-world. What I want to say is during your time that has passed can you come up with something you enjoy even if it’s very little?
I don’t want to be noisy because you probably already have your own ‘‘concept of life’’ figured out. We all, probably many times in life feel like time is not real and it’s just the same thing over and over. Sometimes I feel it often because writing ff or having a tumblr isn’t that special but it’s still something. If I were to give you advice then it is to start something new or find something you’re curious about or it can even be to read more about something you’re not so curious about. There’s nothing that is bad per se so go and explore. It can be off- or online, you may hate it or like it, won’t know until you try, right? Giving an ex. of mine then just two days ago while searching about a fave OTP I found something called ‘doujinshi’. I often stay off explicit stuff so basically I was fascinated and curious so I read thru some lmao and I love art so a plus for me woho. I won’t be making it my daily habit bc it’s not something I enjoy but I’m kind of ‘glad’ to have found something new. And then sometimes I just chill and waste time and go on with life because that’s one kind of activity too imo. Time is just something that’s supposed to pass and sooner or later we will— um, I feel like I’m going off topic….
Either way, I hope you soon start to feel your time is meaningful because life is short and I think people often get stuck in ‘I must do something meaningful’ when sometimes just eating food, helping a kid, smiling at some stranger (lol?) or waking up in the morning to start a new day can be something meaningful. Handing in assignments is an accomplishment too and in the future when you’re entering a new chapter it may all lead to a somewhat satisfying life.