I saw Wonder Woman, a film about a superhero who is a woman (unlike a man), and I am shook. I’d heard the kerfuffle over the Alamo Drafthouse offering women-only screenings, and like many of you, I laughed it off. “Who cares?” thought I. “Just a few crazy dames putting on their lipstick and letting the dishes soak while they go have their little hen party, watching a movie about some kickass World War I soldiers and their gal pal. Let ‘em have their fun before they come home. To whom? Daddy, that’s whom. Or who. Whichever is manlier.”
But let me tell you this, dear reader – and by “dear,” I don’t mean “my dear,” like a lady, because men, right now I want you to stop reading this out loud to your little lady. Go have her fix us a nice glass of Scotch. You read this alone. Stop moving your lips so she doesn’t see. Or move to a room she isn’t allowed in, like your tannery / bodybuilding studio. Good. Now that we’re alone, I can warn you: Wonder Woman isn’t about kickass World War I soldiers and their gal pal. It’s about a kickass gal and her World War I buddies. The men … they’re … secondary characters!
At my screening, there was an actual woman dressed as Wonder Woman in the crowd. Whole groups of ladies sat together, unchaperoned and eating food that appeared to not even be low-fat, as though they weren’t concerned with maintaining their figures. There were cheers when Wonder Woman leapt into the fray and fought men. Penis-having men! And she won! Pretty easily!
The marina was calm and quite desolate tonight, which made for the perfect location for a date. No one was going to bother you and it just so happened to be one of the main hotspots of activity lately, though the lack of people begged to differ. Nonetheless, it meant that Bruce was able to keep a watchful eye on the area while also showing you off as his arm candy to the stars and moon that shined down on you.
Neither of you barely said anything, enjoying the comfortable silence that fell over you both as you walked. The chill of the air coming off the water only gave you an excuse to walk closer to your beau. He always managed to make dates perfect somehow, even if they were interrupted by maniacs or calls from the principals office - though thankfully tonight he didn’t have to answer to either. It was just you and him, with each other’s undivided attention.
But alas, all good things must end and after hours of aimlessly walking around and talking about anything and everything, you decided to head home. As the car pulled up the long driveway you both could tell something was going on within the house from nearly a mile away. All the lights seemed to be on and music could be heard bumping through the walls like a heartbeat.
“I guess this is what we get for letting Alfred have the night off,” Bruce commented sarcastically, earning a snicker from you.
“I think it’s about time we show them how to really party. Don’t you, dear?” You suggested with a devious look on your face, one which Bruce returned just as deviously.
Hand in hand, you both walked into the house through the garage door, the music thumping into your core. As you progressed towards the epicenter of music and strobe lights, the house became steadily messier and showed signs of empty alcohol bottles and confetti just simply everywhere. The first child you found was Duke, completely passed out sideways in a rocker.
“Is he dead?” You questioned, half serious and Bruce shook his head after taking a pulse and let the sense of relieve wash over you both momentarily.
With a sigh from both of you, you continued your pursuit and not before long, you had slipped into the mass of people gathered in the main ballroom. The sight before you made you both stop and just stare.
Dick was showing off his acrobat moves, currently swinging from the chandelier as Barbara cheered him on from the staircase. Jason was screaming demands at the DJ from the “dance floor.” Tim and Cass were dancing next to each other while Steph had to prop herself up with help from the drink table. And Damian… Damian was no where to be seen which worried you more than seeing him involved in this mess.
The twitch in your eye made you want to go ape shit mother-hen on all of them, dragging each of their most likely intoxicated bodies to their beds. But, no, you had a much better idea. Bruce was thinking the exact same thing and wrapped a hand around your waist before pulling you close to him. A devilish smirk crossed your faces and you emerged yourselves into the crowd, locked together so you wouldn’t lose the other.
In your travels you both acquired a drink and held them tightly in hand as you started dancing with each other. Purposely sloppy, you made sure the two of you were making a scene, grinding, and yelling, and kissing until the people around you started to notice. Just as you had hoped, they began moving away from you, no one wanting to dance next to the old grinding couple, a few of them even realizing who you were.
After about a half hour, the room cleared out enough that a few of the kids spotted you, freezing in place. Bruce notice and motioned in their direction, making you turn your head to spot Tim, Cass, and Steph. The shock on their faces made you laugh and even Steph, who was clearly the most inebriated, widened her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows as if you were figments of her imagination.
“Hey guys! Nice party!” You yelled over the music to them as if you were just another couple of random partygoers.
The lack of anger on yours and Bruce’s faces terrified them all to the core before your face immediately dropped into your trademark serious ‘you’re in deep shit’ look. “It’s time to end it.”
Steph nodded slowly, seeming to take a different meaning to your words as she slurred a goodnight and shuffled along the walls up to her bed. With a shrug you watched her, at least one of them was making this easy though the other two just stood and stared.
“Now,” Bruce chimed in with his own stern look and Tim and Cass bolted, no doubt to find the others and tell of their situation.
Arms folded over your chests, you and Bruce stood side by side in the middle of the ballroom, watching as the people filed out and the music stopped. Jason let a string of expletives out as he started cleaning up bottles before even acknowledging your presence. Tim and Cass kept ushering people out, stumbling slightly in the process.
Dick still hung upside down from the chandelier and he waved with a smile when he saw you, though his words were slow and slightly slurred, “Heyy Mom! Heyy Bruce! You’re home early!”
With a sigh and a hand on your forehead, you offered a small wave with your other hand and rather unenthusiastically replied, “It’s three AM, Dick. Now get down from there.”
When all of the kids stood in front of you, excluding the ones already passed out or the one that was MIA, you looked them over with a disappointed frown before Bruce spoke up, “Tomorrow you’re cleaning this place up. And then we’re going to have a looong talk.”
“But for now, get to bed.” You chimed in, most of the glares being sent towards Cass and Tim, especially considering they were underage.
The two nodded and headed off to pass out, Tim actually glad for once when his head hit the pillow. After they left the room your attention turned back to the three left in front of you. Babs’ cheeks were flushed, her body telling you she obviously participated in the evening’s events. It was clear the second you walked into the room that Dick was far gone and you had to admit, you had some respect for anyone who could do acrobatics while drunk.
But when you looked Jason over, your eyes squinted. “Jason? Are you sober?”
Dick wrapped an arm around Jason’s shoulder and piped up for him, “Jay was our party mom tonight!”
“Dick, honey, go to bed. You too Barbara.” You softly told them and they nodded, slowly and hesitantly heading off in that direction.
“Just wanted to make sure no one died. Cause y’know, I know how that feels and it’s not very pleasant,” Jason explained sarcastically, brushing off the silent allegations that he did it because he was worried and turned to continue picking up a bit.
With a sigh, Bruce put a hand on your shoulder, “I’m going to make sure Duke’s still alive, and make sure he gets to bed.” You nodded up at him and gave a small smile and swiveled to take in the whole image of the trashed ballroom.
I’m looking into chicken rescues, and just found one site that states the following:
If you don’t free-range, you will want a very, very large coop. Coops that say they can hold about twelve hens can probably only hold about five or less (not free range) hens.
Yes! Very true!
*We only adopt to vegans and people who will NOT eat the eggs*
So… what? I’m supposed to let them hatch, thus creating more chickens to inhabit my coop that can only really house about five birds? Am I supposed to let their eggs sit and spoil to attract predators? Am I supposed to let my hens go broody whenever, a time that is stressful not only for the bird in question but the rest of the flock? Am I supposed to throw their eggs out, wasting my hens’ efforts entirely?
Look, if you’re vegan, that’s cool. But making this sort of thing criteria for a poultry rescue is ridiculous and counterproductive. Try again.
EDIT: @aficklebeast (who suggested that they might encourage people to feed the eggs back to their chickens instead) I have the same concerns you do. I’ll occasionally feed my flock an egg or two, but if you have a larger flock, that’s a lot of eggs and a lot of mess, which never struck me as very hygienic or good for them, diet-wise.
What is hnkna? Can I have a link to the game? Do you download it on a computer??
HNKNA stands for Heart no Kuni no Alice, or Alice in the Country of Hearts. It’s an otome game (dating sim), that takes its inspiration from the original Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. The best part is it’s not your typical otome. 1: The heroine, Alice, is not nearly as much of a self-insert as most. She’s her own person and you basically just help her make choices, plus she’s 1000% not interested in romance and is a BAMF who takes no shit from these guys.
Unfortunately the company that made it is no longer in business. It was originally for both computer and psp and slowly they cut down on the computer ports and just did psp and eventually vita. It’s possible to find torrents of the games with some googling but you must typically be able to read Japanese or have a hooked translator.
There is a wonderful English patch done by the beautiful @vocaotome and friends. You need to get the original download first though.
Speaking with people who have been terrorized by roosters.
accidentally ended up with a rooster a couple years ago from a
mis-sexed chick, and decided to keep him because I thought he could keep
an eye on my little T. rexes while they were foraging. He was
socialized like his brood-sisters, so I figured he’d be a decent pet as
long as he never became too hormonal.
This bird was the biggest coward I have ever encountered. Any
perceived threat- dogs, hawks, people- he would abandon the hens and go
tearing across the stable parking lot to dive under a truck. Where he
would hide for hours. I caught him one time when he tried to flee
and leave the hens to die, and he fluffed himself up while
screaming that he was being mauled by a mountain lion.
when I’d herd the chickens back into their run, River would take off in the
opposite direction, screaming, and go hide in the tall grass. Where I
would search for a half hour before giving up and deciding he was just
going to have to be coyote bait. After sundown he’d be spotted doing laps around
the coop, trying to get inside. Our stable’s caretaker would have to drive down the hill
from his house to open the door for this dumbass.
He was a Barnvelder- they’re not lightweights. I have no idea why he
was incapable of basic chicken dignity, much less terrorizing anything. I could describe him as Heihei’s fat twin.
We ended up giving him to one of our caretaker’s friends who wanted a
breeder that would add weight to his mixed flock’s lines. Friend also
has small children, so River being completely nonaggressive meant he
was perfect for them. He’s more of a family pet now.