go falcon!

can everyone take a moment to consider what it would be like if the avengers got pokemon go:
  • the day of its release, natasha disappears for a full week and comes back at level 16, with nine different rare pokemon. nobody asks what she did
  • clint uses the vents to track pokemon around the tower, and often jumps down into bedrooms at random moments to catch one. sometimes he loses signal, and you can hear him yelling in frustration through the air vents
  • tony programs the suit to alert him when there’s a pokemon nearby so he can fly there instantly, and he does the same for rhodey. after three days of this, the rest of the avengers confront them and accuse them of cheating. (”you’re supposed to walk, tony.” “shut it steve you’re just jealous that i got the snorlax before you.”)
  • steve catches onto the game lingo surprisingly quick, despite never hearing of pokemon before. he hatches the most eggs.
  • one time on a run, sam and steve saw a jigglypuff appear on their grids. that was the only time sam managed to run faster than steve.
  • the game won’t count pietro’s steps when he runs fast, so he’s taken to figuring out where the pokemon is and directing wanda and vision (and sometimes clint) to it.
  • all the electric-type pokemon show up near thor, so hes become the target of many phones pointing at him. he often thinks theyre taking pictures of him so he smiles, no matter what hes doing.
  • bruce has a small army of eevees, despite rarely leaving the lab
  • when bucky is taken to the tower, its after the game’s release, so he’s startled when everyone drops what theyre doing and grabs their phones when someone yells “SQUIRTLE.” he thinks its code for something and starts keeping a list of the different pokemon names he hears. it takes three weeks for someone to correct him.
  • during a debrief, everyone’s phones vibrates, including fury’s. they all stare at him while he catches a clefairy.
  • the real civil war: tony is team valor and steve is team mystic. the tower is a gym, so they constantly battle over it. one morning, everyone wakes up to find that the gym is now a team instinct gym, with a 3000 CP gyrados guarding it, owned by a player with a russian username. tony and steve stop fighting over the gym. 

An excerpt from the Zimmerflow ™ fic because I told @omgpieplease/ @cannedtalent I would do it.

Jack makes a bet on the best day of his life and promptly forgets about it. He’s too busy being a Stanley Cup Champion to remember a ridiculous wager he’d made when he was tipsy. Besides, he was the most sober player at that party. There’s no way anyone will remember it. Right?

Wrong.

Turns out, Tater had filmed not only most of the party (“For memories, Zimmboni! Precious moments with team, no?” And really, how can Jack argue with that?) but he’d taken special care to capture every single idiotic syllable of the bet.

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Tell Me A Secret

Summary: Every time Sam gets drunk he finds Bucky and asks him for a secret. Bucky always gives him one.

Warning: i don’t think their are any this time, maybe some bad language but other than that nothin.

WC: 5, 032

                                                  Tell Me A Secret

Bucky had just carried Sam back to the Avengers compound after a night out on the town. He’d had to carry him because Sam had gotten shit faced. He’d taken a sip of something Thor brought with him and almost passed out. Bucky and Steve had caught him. He recovered a few hours later and challenged Bucky to a round of shots. Bucky had said no. Nat had said yes. And the rest of the night was a blur of chasing a stumbling Sam around the bar, trying to keep him out of trouble.

               He laid Sam on the bed gently, he’d been carrying him bridal style because Sam kept tripping over his own feet when Bucky tried to help him walk. He took his shoes off and covered him with one of the blankets that was in his closet. And that’s when Sam said it. The four little words that had been ruining Bucky’s life for nearly three months now. Bucky was nearly at the door when Sam’s voice broke the silence in the room.

               “Tell me a secret.” He said, his voice surprisingly clear for as drunk as he was. Bucky stopped with his hand on the door knob and turned around slowly.

               “What?” he asked, not sure he’d heard right, not sure what he’d do if he had.

               “Assed you to tell me a sehcret.” And there was the slurring Bucky had expected.

               “Uh…” Bucky was kind of at a loss but he took his hand off the door knob and walked back toward the bed.

“What kind of secret?” he asked, his hands stuffed in his pocket, he was nervous, even though Sam was so drunk he was probably seeing four of Bucky right now, and wouldn’t remember this in the morning.

“Secret bout Steeb.” He snorted a laugh and rolled his head to the side on his pillow so he could look at Bucky, he blinked a few times and then seemed to get his eyes focused where he wanted them.

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Greatest comeback of all time.
Greatest QB of all time.
Greatest HEAD COACH of all time.
WE ARE THE PATRIOTS.
YOU HATERS WILL NOW CRY FOREVER, YOU ASSHOLES!
WE ARE THE PATRIOTS!!!! 5TH RING!
SO PROUD OF BEING A PATS FAN!

SUPER BOWL LI CHAMPIOOOOOOOOON!!!!!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, PATS.

archiveofourown.org
Spin Cycle™ - bioloyg
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

It wasn’t Bucky’s plan to break Sam and Eric up going into the engagement dinner, but halfway through it he got tired of the slides and Eric’s stupid face. He wanted to be happy for Sam, really he did, but that kind of thing is hard when you’re in love with your best friend.

So, he does something stupid and rash, and finds himself at a laundromat picking spaghetti out of his hair while Sam berates him for his life choices.

And for breaking up the engagement…

This is a little something that I wrote because of a prompt @bisexualbcky sent me back in kinktober. It involves late night laundry runs and love confessions.