I still can’t believe I’ve transferred ALL of my first batch of Pokemon a few months ago. Great. Now I need a long time to rebuild my team—not to mention the extra difficulties of capturing legendary pokemon AYYEEEEEEEKKKKKK
The nutritionists first catch wind of the underground network in Boston; something is off about their athletes and their sugar intake. Then reports pop up in Calgary, then Florida, then San Jose. In just a few weeks, the news of the jam has spread to all 31 teams.
The players are tight-lipped; all raving about the secret sweet condiment is shut down when the nutritionist is within earshot.
Some say Kent Parson missed a chance for a GWG because someone chirped him about having not tried the jam yet. Alexei Mashkov denies being the one that chirped him. Parson denies being the only one in the league to not have had the jam.
They suspect that the jam is getting shipped out of Nashville. “Only southerners,” they say.
No nutritionist suspects Providence, but all the players know they have to go through Jack Zimmermann to get the goods.
unpopular opinion but the aces and falconers aren’t rivals, we just see them as having tension because our view of them is centered around the parse/jack interaction in the comic. there’s also the “typical fucking aces hockey” comment but individual players naturally have opinions about every team and teams also have reputations based on their playing style.
rivalries are almost always geographically-based or at least intra-divisional and las vegas and providence have zero connection that would make this a plausible rivalry
Jack makes a bet on the best day of his life and promptly forgets about it. He’s too busy being a Stanley Cup Champion to remember a ridiculous wager he’d made when he was tipsy. Besides, he was the most sober player at that party. There’s no way anyone will remember it. Right?
Turns out, Tater had filmed not only most of the party (“For memories, Zimmboni! Precious moments with team, no?” And really, how can Jack argue with that?) but he’d taken special care to capture every single idiotic syllable of the bet.
We would offer you an alliance and provide you any kind of support to fight against the sh*tty Marley government. Let's go to save the Eldians! Free the Eldians! Save the world from the greedy big bad Marleyans!
(The Survey Corps are invited to the East Sea Nation)
(A few months later, chaos everywhere on the Marleyan continent, many Eldians and Marleyans are dead)
This is not what we want.
Easterners, lurking in the background:
But this is what WE want.
Uhhh did we hear something?
The most dangerous enemies on the world: the Marleyans and the Eldians have been weakened in this war. They won't rise to power again for a long long time HA HA HA
*sighs* Perhaps it's time for us to return to Paradis...
(The Survey Corps return to Paradis and realize the island had been invaded by Marleyans already. And there was a civil war inside the Walls. Most walled Eldians are killed.)
WHAT THE F---------
Someone reading this post:
GO HOME FALCON YOU ARE DRUNK.
Ok idk how decent a prompt this'll be or what even counts as a decent prompt, feel free to ignore me... but.. something that has Kent and NHL!Bitty in it (maybe Jack too IDK)??? idk?? they'd conceivably all be at the All Star Game at the same time (idk how the divisions work out there but shit that would mean Kent and Bitty on the same team???)
Reynolds is going over the Falconers new marketing proposal for the second time when Jack’s phone starts buzzing in his pocket. He ignores it, but it starts up again right after.
“Excuse me for just a moment,” he slips out of the meeting room into an empty office to see it’s a facetime call from Bitty. He answers to find it’s not his husband, but a grinning Kent Parson.
“Zimms! Hey, guess who made the All-Star team?”
“Lord, give me back my phone.”
Kent looks over his shoulder. “Shush, Tiny Boat, I’m your captain now.” He looks back to Jack. “I’ll give you a hint, his team lost last night, and you’re fucking him.”
“Or he’s fucking you. Equality or whatever.”
“Okay, yeah, I get it. It’s Bittle.” Jack sighs, before realizing what Kent had even said. “Wait. Bittle’s playing in the All-Star game? With you?”
“Yeah, and against you, Iceman. But you do realize you’ll lose with the fastest guys in the league playing on my squad. It’s going to be a fantastic year! So, it’s party time!”
“Congratulations, Bits!” Jack says loudly so Bitty will hear it. “Hey. Tell him ‘I love you’.”
“Aw,” Kent grins, “hey Bittle, Jack says he loves me.”
The roar of laughter behind Kent gives Jack the feeling that Eric probably made some kind of rude gesture. Rightly so. A thought strikes him and Jack checks his watch.
“It’s only two in Seattle, you’re can’t party at lunch on a Tuesday.”
Kent’s jovial expression sobers. “Excuse you,” he tilts down his camera to reveal a bemused Bitty, Jeff, three men Jack doesn’t recognize offhand, and a lunch spread Jack is immediately wildly jealous of. “I’d say this is a party. Kudos to your Ride-or-Die B for hunting down a Michelin star reservation on like zero notice. Check out the charcuterie platter, it’s a thing of beauty.”
“I come here after every second home-loss. You just followed me here.” Eric protests from out of frame. “Jack, he took my phone.”
Kent turns away from the camera with a snappy nod. “And who ate the last piece of Sopressata? That’s right. You eat my wild boar, I make an awkward phone call to my ex on your phone. He’s snippy. Swoops, give him more wine.”
Bitty curses at Kent in response.
“Jack, I love him. We’re going to run away together.”
“You fucking wish, Parson.”
“I’m going to hang up now,” Jack announces over the brewing argument. “I have a meeting to get back to. Tell Bittle I’ll call him when I’m done.”
Jack ends the call and stares at the blank phone screen for a moment, listening to the dull murmurs of the meeting next door. He grips his phone tight and clenches his teeth together to hold back an excited cheer.
Bitty’s first All-Star game. Their first All-Star game.
Do you ever just remember that the Falconers went to the playoffs in 2015, and are almost certainly going to go again in 2016, and just get super excited that Jack’s going to get the chance to play in the Stanley Cup Playoffs which has been his dream since he was a small child????