tasha and i called a sex hotline to mess with random guys so here’s some nice quotes of hers that she sent to request to speak to these dudes. these are in fact direct quotes i couldn’t make this shit up if i tried.
ryden was real and the government knows it
dicks out for harambe, you know what it is
Vices & Virtues is the third studio album by American rock band Panic! at the Disco, released on March 22, 2011 on Fueled by Ramen. (received a response saying “i didnt know panic at the disco exsisted in 2011″) it wasn’t their best album but it wasn’t their worst and nearly witches is the best song ever written just so you’re aware
hate to think that as im taking my last breath dakota fanning is outside making it clap (a guy hung up on her for this one)
my safeword is heteronormative and that’s all you really need to know about me
when i was in the third grade i thought that i was gay, cause i could draw, my uncle was, and i kept my room straight. i told my mom, tears streaming down my face she said “ben you’ve loved girls since before pre k”
i heard you were from seattle and i was wondering if you perhaps knew what happened on the night of august 30th, 2007 when ryan ross infamously flew from new york to seattle on his 21st birthday to hang out with brendon urie and leaving his roquette girlfriend. i just wanted to know if you knew
yeah, i guess she had a point, didn’t she? a bunch of stereotypes all in my head. i remember doing the math like, "yeah, i’m good at little league.” a preconceived idea of what it all meant for those that liked the same sex had the characteristics the right wing conservatives think it’s a decision and you can be cured with some treatment and religion manmade rewiring of a predisposition playing god, here we go. america the brave still fears what we don’t know and “god loves all his children” is somehow forgotten but we paraphrase a book written thirty five hundred years ago i don’t know
buy popcorn fish guinea pig by american whatever band museum mouth on itunes. [hits send] you’re welcome karl.
you’re watching treehouse
i understand what it’s like to have a hard time sleeping because since i was 8 and suffered debilitating childhood trauma, i’ve had trouble sleeping at night. i also have a personality disorder. [long pause] i’m just looking to have fun.
Everything in Transit is the debut album of American band Jack’s Mannequin, released on August 23, 2005.
bathrooms are an inherently colonial construct and therefore racist
i’m into knifeplay and my safeword is heteronormative
he cried for a night. :)
wow, he told me to go away [hits record] anything for you baby
what are your thoughts on the waffles vs pancakes debate
my favorite toy is definitely my 2005 barbie dreamhouse
are you from tennassee because you reek of confederate racism that is in the american south
[received a message saying “sounds like someone forgot to take their medication”] OH MY GOD– [hits record] i absolutely forgot to take my medication my guy [receives “why am i not surprised. i’ve dated bipolar chicks before and you definitely sound bipolar”] HOLY HSITKLJFSDF [hits record] YEAH
Badlands is the debut studio album by American singer and songwriter Halsey, released on August 28, 2015.
personally i think that chloes blonde hair was iconic but not as iconic as the first time kim went blonde and i know people say that kylie is the trendsetter for it but she’s just white and steals from other people’s cultures. kim is an icon. iconic. [receives “i never put much thought into that debate. what are you doing tonight?”] i’m looking up pictures of chloe kardashian’s blonde hair thinking about how she stole kim’s crown. [this led to a five minute conversation about the kardashians]
macklemore didn’t die for this
my ultimate kink is being loved and validated and cherished as a human being
i wake up to find it’s another four asprin morning and i drive in. i put on the clothes i wore yesterday. when did society decide we had to change and wash a t shirt after every individual use? if it’s not dirty i’m gonna wear it. i take my stairs to the car and there’s fog on the windows. i need caffeine to the bloodstream. i take caffeine to the bloodstream. i grip the wheel and all at once i realize my life has become a boring pop song and everyone is singing along
i’m on the verge, i’m on the verge, and i’m, like, unraveling with every word. with every word you say, make me believe, that i won’t feel your tires on the street as I’m finding the words you’re getting away
then she got kicked out of the entire hotline for fucking with people. and that’s our night.
If you’re going to do anything creative for a living the hardest and the most important piece of advice you need to get is that you have to be doing it because you love doing it and you have to anticipate and become comfortable with the possibility of doing it in vain with no reward for your entire life. Picture a future where you have spent decades doing it in complete darkness and silence with no one responding to it and ask yourself whether to not when you get hit by a bus by the end of that you’re going to die thinking ‘I blew it’ or if you’re going to die thinking ‘at least I did what I loved’ and if the answer is the latter, keep doing it. It probably won’t happen to you because if you do feel that way the you probably will eventually find people that are looking for what you’re doing.
The second piece of advice is figure out what you love, figure out who you are and scream in your voice, from your rooftop and wait for people who want to hear you to find you. Don’t continually change who you are in an attempt to succeed in wrangling an audience. Just plant your feet and do what you want to do more than anything in the world because that’s what you’re going to be good at and that’s what people are going to want to watch you do.
I think as any artist, as anybody who makes any thing, even if you’re making chairs out of wood or walls out of brick your job is to leave this world with your impression of it. Your job is to remove the top of your head and push something onto the top of your brain that will leave an image of it on it so that when you go away there’s some record that this is how you perceived the world and specifically you. That’s your only job, that’s the hardest job, that’s the easiest job. Whether you’re a stand up, a writer, a carpenter, I really think you just have to be as honest and transparent about how you view the world as possible.
Dan Harmon (when asked for advice for people starting off in comedy)
REVOLVER What’s it like working with Bob Rock? ANDY BIERSACK The star-struck nature–especially when you’re a kid who loves hard rock and metal–when you meet him, there is the initial, “Oh shit. This is Bob Rock.” It is the greatest thing we’ve gotten to experience, which is honorably so rare for the people you look up to–but he’s really an awesome person, a joy to work with, and incredibly talented. The biggest thing I can say going away from this record is I’ve learned more about the process of writing and creating songs and the importance of the elements of songs more so than any other record we’ve done. I couldn’t really put an amount of the value of knowledge that I now have in terms of musical creation, songwriting, and nuances of songwriting.