Show Me That You Love Me(ao3, buzzfeed article that inspired this nonsense)
(Monday, Feb 6)
Clarke: FYI, I’m telling my coworkers that we’re dating so this creep will stop hitting on me
Bellamy: You can’t just leave it at that.
How creepy are we talking?
You know if I don’t get specifics my mind jumps straight to the worst-case scenario.
Clarke: It’s not that big a deal? Mostly just annoying
But he won’t take no for an answer so I told him I had a boyfriend
Bellamy: Not a girlfriend?
Clarke: They know I’m bi already because I ranted about gross stereotypes at the Christmas party
It’s why they instituted a two-drink limit
And if he doesn’t respect my hard “no” I doubt he’ll respect my girlfriend’s so
Bellamy: You sure you don’t want to date him? He sounds like a charmer.
Clarke: I was sure the first fifteen times he asked and my decision hasn’t wavered.
I wouldn’t have even mentioned it to you except I know Anya comes to the bar sometimes and I didn’t want you to blow my cover
Bellamy: Consider your cover secure.
Clarke: Thanks. I owe you one.
Bellamy: What are fake boyfriends for?
* * *
(Wednesday, Feb 8)
Bellamy: I see you got my flowers.
Clarke: They’re hard to miss seeing as they take up MY WHOLE CUBICLE
It smells like a rainforest
My allergies are killing me
Bellamy: Can’t I just show my fake girlfriend that I appreciate her?
Why must you always assume I have ulterior motives?
Clarke: Because I know how expensive flowers can be and you’re the biggest coupon-clipping Scrooge I know
Bellamy: I’m helping!
I’m just trying to back up your story, Princess.
Clarke: You’re just trying to embarrass me in front of my coworkers is what you’re doing
Bellamy: Remember that time you made me do karaoke with you?
Some might consider us even now.
Clarke: You know Valentine’s Day is next week right? If you do something like this on a random Wednesday, you’re going to have to do something for that too or else Cage will think we’ve broken up
Bellamy: So I’m going to have to top myself is what you’re saying.
Clarke: I don’t think that’s what I said at all
Bellamy: If you insist, Princess.
Clarke: I don’t insist. I STRONGLY DO NOT INSIST.
Bellamy: Unrelated question: what song would you most like to have serenaded to you?
Clarke: If that’s how it’s gonna be then start preparing yourself
Cause it’s on, Blake
Bellamy: Dammit, I did not think this through.