Good Morning, Miss Bliss (Original Original Pilot)
I’m not going to individual posts on all the episodes - but this one deserves it’s own post.
I’m sure it’s a well known thing that Saved by the Bell originally started out as a show called Good Morning, Miss Bliss - that was later reconstructed to become SBTB - and was repackaged as part of the SBTB family (even if they’re in a different location entirely). What I don’t see a lot of people talking about, though, is the original pilot of GMMB - which looks nothing like the repackaged GMMB we all know and love.
No. Guys. This thing is, well, I hate to say gem, because gem it is not. It’s kind of a clusterfuck of what the hell did I just watch, mixed with - why did this ever air? Well - thank you internet, and some random person who taped every tv show ever in the late 80s, because I can now tell you about it and save you 22 minutes of your life. This particular pilot is a painful copy of every other family sitcom of the time (though it almost has a 70s feel about it), with really forced acting, bad jokes, and “very serious” moments.
I’m shocked [sarcasm] that they felt the need to retool it. Actually, I’m kind of surprised the idea didn’t die right here - yes, it’s that bad.
The pilot is centered around Miss Bliss, played by Hayley Mills who would play Miss Bliss in the later classic GMMB episodes.
Miss Bliss is the definition of a Mary Sue - she’s just so sweet and perfect and utterly boring, which is a shame because Hayley Mills is actually an endearing actress. But my god, there is nothing interesting about her at all.
Over the summer she’s gotten married (wait - why is this character named Miss Bliss when she’s actually Mrs. Davis? That does not make any sense?) to a guy she just met, and really doesn’t seem to know all that well - nor does he seem to know her. That’s a slightly interesting premise. This could totally be like Dharma and Greg!! Nope. The actor playing the husband is painfully dull as well - and this lacks any and all charm that Dharma and Greg had.
Meanwhile, one of her students is having a tough time because his brother is dying. Which is - a really heavy subject on this semi-comedic show. (Is it comedic? Or is it dramatic? This pilot has no freakin’ clue.) Of course it’s Miss Bliss to the rescue - but oh no! her new husband doesn’t like that she’s picking her job over him. The kid’s brother is dying, good god dude, chill. Well Miss Bliss works her magic in a single monologue and the kid accepts death even if he’s still unhappy about it.
And that’s it - that and a bunch of unfunny jokes is the original incarnation that would one day be Saved By The Bell. Crazy, huh?
Some things to note - there’s an original Mr. Belding, played by another actor, who, I can’t believe I’m saying this, has much less charm than Dennis Haskins. Miss Bliss has a friend named Tina, who is super annoying and who is unfortunately going to be one of the things they save for the reworking (why? why I ask?).
The main kid, the one with they dying brother, is actually plaid by the late Jonathan Brandis. (Which there’s something creepy about because Brandis died at age 27.) There’s a super young Jaleel White (he played Urkel guys) and he’s kind of a punk, which is kind of funny because it’s so not an Urkel role. And then a super suave and charming Brian Austin Green - who, god I cannot believe I’m saying this either, is the best actor in the episode.
The only redeeming thing in this whole episode is the two minutes the kids are arguing over what 80s singer is better - David Lee Roth or Ozzy Osbourne, lol. The rest is forgettable - and if Saved by the Bell hadn’t been a hit - no one would remember this thing exists…..
In case you’re actually that interested, here’s the youtube link:
Man - the rest of the regular GMMB episodes aren’t that great - but at least they have Zack Morris, and aren’t…this.
The stones that made up the wall of the hallway that housed the staircase leading to the dorms was cold as she leaned against it, eyes locked on the view from one of the few windows they had. Enchanted, she knew, for there was no way they were up that high. Still, it let in a fresh breeze and carried away the cloud of smoke she exhaled from her lungs. Delicate hands, well maintained held the slender cigarette between two fingers, brought to her lips to pull in another breath of the toxic smoke that felt so good. Sure, she was aware that many considered her smoking to be a disgusting habit, but Narcissa Black could care very little what people thought. Her own opinion was the only one that mattered, other than, of course, her parents. Hence why she smoked in secret in the small staircase alcove she’d found years ago.
It felt good to be back at school, back at the place that she considered her kingdom, though there were several students who obviously disagreed with that. But, what was a ruler without opposition? Pursing her lips as her eyes focused on the skyline, watching the sunrise that she was sure was real, though broadcasted to the window much like the ceiling in the great hall. At least a school she didn’t have to be locked up with warring sisters, though of course the affection of her doting parents would be missed, she knew that was something her other sisters didn’t taste and thus didn’t understand. Oh well, it was she who was important anyway. Sometimes she wondered if Bella would ever marry out of anything other than obligation, knowing that would never be the case for herself. She’d choose her own suitor, and he would treat her right. Lucius hadn’t and she’d broken up with him before the summer. Thankfully she had yet to run into her equally pale ex.
The uniform she wore was just like the one worn by everyone else, but had been fitted and charmed, accentuating her petite form and slender legs. The skirt of course would always be measured at the acceptable length, but never looked quite that long. A trick she’d learned early on in her second year at the school. Severus Snape was not the only one who was good at creating spells and charms, though the two used the skill for decidedly different means. Adjusting the tie she wore loosely around her neck, the White gold (for she preferred it over silver.) Slytherin charm attached to her tie pin glinted in the sunlight as the sun burst out over the horizon and let a warm glow fall over the porcelain girl, though she squinted in the sudden light. Her cigarette only half done, those same eyes slid closed as she basked in it. Even someone like her loved the sun and the warmth it brought. Especially in the cold of the dungeon common room.