We all have those days. We all have those days where all we want to do is curl up in a ball and start crying. Normally people would say “Naw, don’t cry it’s not worth it,” or some other just absolute CRAP! I say go for it. LET IT OUT! I know that I spent years just crying because that was the only thing that actually helped me feel better. That’s just me, though. We’re all super different. Our minds work in different ways. We do different things and feel different things emotionally. But I know that for me, when I had a crappy day I would lay down, listen to my favorite music and just cry. There are other people I know that would write in their journal, would draw, would write, or find other outlets. Really the only outlet I had was crying and writing letters. I still really believe that crying is so powerful and it’s such an intense and intimate emotion and it allows us to really go away for a while. 

I also had those times where my tears were just dry. I held it in for so long it was crazy. I had so many different phases from crying every day for literally going cold turkey and not crying for a month- WHICH WAS INSANE for me! Then one day I had a humongous breakdown, I’ll never forget it. That moment was when I realized I needed to stop holding all my emotions in. It actually took a really long time for that to sink in though. It doesn’t happen quickly. 

I also had those feelings where I just NEEDED to cry. I was so stressed with everything going on but I just didn’t have time to give to myself to pause and breathe. Gosh that was actually one of the worst feelings for me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is when you’re sad, when you’re down in the dumps, when you’re trying to choke back tears…don’t. Because the longer you hold it in the worst it’s gonna be. But when you finally let it out…it’s going to make you feel SO much better.

Here are some of my crying tips if that’s not too weird

  • Find a quiet place where you can be by yourself for at least AT LEAST five minutes
  • Don’t try to be silent, but don’t go crazy. Just let them fall as they come.
  • Don’t block out your thoughts, think while you’re crying. You’ll find that your thoughts can actually be surprisingly deep when you’re at that level
  • Wash your face when you’re done, and then find a place where you can lay down or sit, and do something that makes you happy. For me, that’d be baking cupcakes. What would it be for you? It can be anything.
  • Change your clothes, do your hair, allow a change of environment
  • Smile. After I cry, I feel better and I find that I can oddly smile.
  • I say this all the time, but I won’t stop. Pick yourself back up. Tell yourself how STRONG you are- even if you don’t think it’s true. Say it anyway.

I hope I helped at least one person with this, guys. Love you.

Hugs <3


Put the glass down girl!

I read an article once about a professor talking about how to deal with stress. He took a glass of water and held it over is head and asked, “How heavy is this glass?”. The answers from the students was all from 50g to 1kg. The professor then said, “The weight does not matter. All that matters is how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. But if I hold it for an hour, my arm will get tired and it will be heavy. The weight is the same, but the longer I hold it the harder it gets." 

He then continued: "And it’s the same with stress. If we carry our problems around all the time, it will come to a point where it’s so heavy that you can’t hold it anymore. And like the glass of water, you have to put it down. We have to learn how to let go our worries and problems and not hold on to them all the time." 

So with that said, I want you who are reading this to take at least one hour, not just today but every day, to just let your problems go. Write them down on a piece of paper or just tell a friend. Then go for a walk, read a book or whatever floats your boat. Relax, enjoy life and then pick it up again later. Life is oh so short, enjoy it while you can girls.

Love, Miriam

I hate people? I love people? Make up your mind, Iman!

I have many mottos. ‘Let it be’ is a big one. So was “I hate people.” You know what? Yeah, sometimes I do. Sometimes I can’t stand being around humans because of their selfish and rude antics. Some people were just so ridiculous I couldn’t take it. Now let me make clear- I hate no one. What I hated was what society had become. I hate how oblivious, ignorant, selfish, mean, jealous, envious, etc. people have become. But lately, my moods, my feelings, my views, they have all been changing. Yes I still have those daily moments when I can’t stand to talk to anyone, but I think I can come out and say I love people. I was so unappreciative of all the good people. I have a terrible case of pessimism. I wouldn’t necessarily look at people’s flaws, I understood no one is perfect, but I would focus on the negative people. I didn’t realize how many truly beautiful people there are in the world. Yes, of course, there are going to be people who bring us down, but there are so many who can help us pull back out. I discovered this because of tumblr. Tumblr has always been a place of safety, I guess I can say. No one ever hated and I could vent as much as I wanted. But lately, after talking to so many different people, it made me realize that there are kind people still out there. There are people who you’ve never even met before that want to help you and make you happy. Seriously, this gave me so much faith back in humanity. So if I’ve talked to you on tumblr, through this account or another, during these past couple months, thank you, and I love you.

Wow I droned off into a completely different subject…oh well! I guess my point is that we need to take a moment to think and appreciate all the lovely people we have on this earth, not focus on the negative and the ones who get us down. They’re not worth being in our lives, I promise.

I love all of you so much, you don’t even know!



The Paragraph Of Nothingness

I haven’t been writing a lot lately. I know. I wish I could think of some wisdom every single day, but I simply cannot. I feel as though this inspiration that I had so fully a few months ago has disappeared and I am lost, once again. I’ve been lost for a while. There are so many questions I have. Doubts. Insecurities. Before, they were there, but I knew what to do with them. I knew that I still needed help, but I could at least deal with them for the time being. Now, I am confused again. I have so many things that I wish I could say. Advice I wish to give. People I wish to help. But I just don’t know how. I have about 50 drafts that I’m too scared to publish, with around 15 of them being things I’ve started to write. Worry has taken over me. I’m scared, once again, to take the plunge and allow others to read what I’ve written. I’m too self conscious. I don’t know how to continue. I start writing and just cannot bring myself to finish it. Even now, I’m forcing myself to publish this paragraph of nothingness. I wanted this blog to be here to help others, to share my stories, and to inspire. But so soon after it started, it came to an end. An end is just a new beginning, as they say, though. I’m not going to let my fear control me. I’m going to publish this post of nothingness solely to allow myself overcome yet another difficulty I have in my life. I’m going to reread it, as I am always too scared to do because of the plain FEAR I have of sounding like an idiot. At the beginning of this year, my fear was gone for a while. I made decisions with the consciousness of knowing I could get hurt, but I knew they were the right decisions. I knew they were worth it. Again, now, it is hard. It is hard to do so, but I’m starting again. I’m starting from square one, and I hope and pray I can get it right this time. This paragraph of nothingness is more than just a paragraph of nothingness. For me, it is a symbol of my starting over, or continuation, if we must, of glow*ing. Wish me luck. I l love you guys. :’ )


Marcel The Shell

You may or may not know that I’m going back and reading Glow* posts from a long time ago, and a few days ago I went through Jaime’s Marcel The Shell post. Now, it used to be really hard for me to find inspiration in anything. But this year, I’m different. This year, I let myself be inspired by something as simple as a fake little shell who didn’t apologize for who he was. Marcel was different. You could tell. He wasn’t like anybody else. But what made him that way? Well, in my opinion, he was different because he embraced his true self. He loved his qualities, he told stories that he found funny, he gave advice, he was a good hearted shell. I think all of us could learn a thing or two from Marcel. 

  1. Don’t apologize if you didn’t do anything wrong.
  2. Love & embrace yourself.
  3. Do things and say things that make you and others happy.
  4. Be a good person. Or shell.



PS: I laughed for five minutes straight when Marcel said he drove a Bug.

I saw this on tumblr the other day, and immediately thought to reblog it, but I stopped myself. That’s not how I think anymore. Given, it’s how I used to think. It’s not us being nice, that is why we get hurt. It is others’ being mean that gets us hurt. It’s not our fault. It’s not our fault that the world has it’s fair share of coldness, but let’s bring the warmth. We don’t need to stop ourselves from being nice to people, we just need to acknowledge that not everyone on earth is as nice as we’d like them to be. We need to be strong and be okay with the fact that not everyone is as awesome as we are. Don’t beat yourself up over it…But we can be the kind ones. I truly believe that we can all glow* and not give in to the evil in the world. Let’s be better than that.

Hugs as always!


A Peek In My Diary: Part one

So, about two years ago I started therapy. Unfortunately, after only a few sessions, I made the mistake of telling my mom I didn’t feel any different. She of course didn’t want to waste her money, so that was the end of that. But now here we are again.

2012 was a year of change for me. From January 1st and beyond I was able to really grow up and mature and am able to do things and put myself in situations I couldn’t before. I’m proud of that. This started at the end of 2011 when I first found Darren Criss. Cheesy, I know. I wish I could explain it, but I can’t even explain it to myself. It’s a mystery. Maybe one day. Anyways, with Darren, I felt two things I had never felt before: motivation and inspiration. It all snowballed from then. Glow*. Mia. Spread love. My six inspirations.

For months I was happier than I ever was or thought I could be. I still wanted to go to a psychologist, though. Something that has always been the hardest for me is making decisions. I need help. I know there is a right and a wrong. I always want to do right. But I never know which is which. For example: I can’t sleep. Do I lay in bed? Do I read? Do I make tea???

These decisions make up every minute of my life. I know I have to decide on my own but I need guidance. I need  guidance to help me tell what is what, which is which. If it were up to me I would never have stopped therapy. But it’s so hard to talk to my mom. She’s convinced I don’t need it. She wants me to talk to her because she teaches mental health.

Momma wants the best for me.  I know that. Always. But she doesn’t know what’s best for me. I wish she did.

It’s so hard to talk to her about this because every time she just basically ignores it. She’s not there. And it’s not like we’re dripping in money either. Times are hard. Really hard.

Welcome to the first 1% of my head.

"Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are."

Am I the only person who really does not care for this quote? I mean come on! How many times have we judged someone? No. It’s not right. Never would I stand up for judging someone or judging a book by it’s cover. It’s not right. It never will be. But we all make mistakes! We’ve all made mistakes and done and said things we’re not proud of, right? I know I don’t want my mistakes to define who I am, but rather my good qualities. And by saying it defines who you are…isn’t that just you being judgmental? Aren’t we just back at square one?

Just my two cents!

Update + What's up with me

So recently I have not posted anything personal on here. It’s not because I’ve been neglecting this blog, in fact i thought about it every hour of every day. I just lost my inspiration and motivation for life and needed some time to work things out in my brain before I did anything.

That being said, there are some things I can say now. If anyone has read my personal posts, they know I’m really big on epiphanies, and learning about ourselves is my favorite thing, and discovering and learning life lessons make me feel wiser and better about myself. Well, in these past few weeks, I have had a few different epiphanies. These are my favorites and the ones that I think could help anyone in every situation.

I always used to say, “Everything that happens is for the best. Always.” But then I started to doubt myself. Like, how come things end badly when it’s for the best? How come there are evil and bad people? Well, that’s when my view changed. Everything that happens, it CAN be for the best. If we make it that way. It’s so easy for something bad to happen over and over and over again, and excuse my morbidity here- but we could be dead before making anything better. Before learning anything. So here’s what it came down to: Bad things happen. Terrible things happen. It’s naive (for me, personally) to think that everything is okay and for the best, but we CAN indeed make it for the best if we just learn from it. We may not learn from it now, or any time soon, it could be years from now, but we learn from our mistakes and learn and teach ourselves to make it better, so that we can be the best we can be. So keep that in mind. Everything that happens, use it as a lesson and a motivation to make things better in the future.

On THAT note, I had another epiphany. What is destiny? What is fate? Well, put easily, destiny is what we think it can be. Sound confusing? :) Think about it. It took me a long while until I understood it.

I miss these daily posts. I’ll try and update as much as I can, I promise. 

Love & Hugs, 


Feed The Good Wolf

Denise Donovan posted this story on Glow* a while back. It’s one of the things I have written down on my stickies on my desktop so that whenever I see it, I remember to feed my good wolf.

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’

Keep reading

Don't apologize!

I was rewatching part 1 of the Glow* Swim Radio interview earlier today, and something in me reignited. When I first watched the interview, something Denise said stuck with me for a really long time, but I forgot about it recently.

“A big thing for me and like being sort of a newcomer to this group was I would notice girls would come up to us after the shows and they create some of the most creative, incredible artwork I’ve ever seen and first of all, we’re so thankful because like that’s what gives us the ability to do what we do, so it’s like we’re so thankful to them you know is like the number one but then it’s like they would hand us these incredible gifts and be like ‘I made this, I’m such a dork’ or like 'I made this I’m so…’ you know? And I just always wanna look at them and be like 'I used to think exactly how you think, I used to say that same thing’ and like I so badly wanted to be like 'You are COOL! Like this is NOT dorky, this is incredible, it’s talented, its creative, it’s unique, and it’s different, and five years from now you are going to be so cool, like you just don’t know yet.’ And like that’s what always killed me was like I’d get handed this gift and like 'Sorry I know this is like so dorky or so weird but I just wanna give this to you,’ And I’m like are you kidding me? This is the coolest! I don’t know if you guys like feel the same way but it was like you got that like, [girls enter into conversation] yeah, like you got that apologizing, like self deprivation that’s just like not needed, you’re awesome!”

Needless to say, this one quote changed SO much about me and TRULY taught me how to be more confident in myself. It told me it’s okay to be me. It’s okay to like things people don’t. It’s okay to do things I’m proud of and be be confident in it (as Lauren later pointed out). It’s crazy how just three months ago I was putting myself down (although Glow* helped me majorly and before this quote did teach me to be more confident) and now I’m not ashamed to tell people the small things about me. I’m not scared. Like “YEAH, I like this person’s music! You think they’re weird? That’s great! I love them.” Whereas before I was scared about telling people my favorite things, my hobbies, things I enjoyed, I DID have a fear of rejection (shout out to Ashlee for bringing that up in the interview! Love you BB!).

I’ve posted about this quote before, but it’s completely worth a whole other post. I hope we can all take it to heart and that it can completely reignite the spark within us, and I hope that it can change us for the better and teach us to be confident. Even if we think it’s completely impossible to be happy with ourselves, even if we think we can never change, we can. We can be confident. We can be happy. We can stop apologizing for who we are. As Dr. Seuss says, there is no one YOUER than YOU!

Sending you guys so much love you can’t even imagine!!!!! Love you all.



Own it!

So lately something that’s been big to me is confidence. I have never really been a confident person, like ever…but I’ve been trying to change that. There are so many factors that led to this big change in me. One of them that really struck me was something Denise Donovan said during the Glow* Swim Radio interview. She said that whenever fans give her artwork they’re always saying things like “Oh, I’m so sorry I’m such a loser I just really wanted to give this to you.”

Ever since I heard that, I’ve been changing so much. Not so much confidence in myself, that’s a whole other story, but in things that I do. For a really tiny example, my brother always makes fun of my favorite music and it would always make me feel like a fool and I would apologize to myself. Why would I do that? People have different tastes in music! I don’t need to apologize for that! We all have our likes and dislikes. On a much bigger note, something else happened the other day that prompted an even bigger boost. 

Side note: I call myself weird all the time, but not in a way where I put myself down. When I call myself weird or crazy, I’m actually proud to be! I’m proud to be different than everybody else. I don’t to be just like everyone else. So just know that whenever I call myself weird and crazy in these things :)

Anyways, on a bigger example, I need constant reminders to do my work. I need constant reminders to be happy. Basically, I get distracted extremely easy and just need something to remind me what to do. So my whole desktop of my laptop is covered in digital stickies. It has all sorts of inspirational quotes and reminders and things to make me do my work. No one uses my laptop so I didn’t think anyone would read them…but lo and behold someone did. A family member of mine wouldn’t let me live it down, I got made fun of and he played around with the stickies and wrote some not nice things…I was so embarrassed! 

While I was trying to sleep that night I thought about why I was so embarrassed. I deserve to be happy, right? Everyone deserves to be happy. And the stickies…those are the limits I have to go to to be happy! So I have to own it! Since that day I haven’t been hiding my stickies like I used to, I need to learn to just let it be and if someone sees them or makes fun of them, that’s their own ignorance :)

How does this have to do with confidence, right? Well this is just a teeny example of the different types of confidence I think there is. And I also think that this story can connect with so many others. If you analyze it close enough you could really see the similarities. I think that we all need to stop being ashamed of what makes us happy! We need to have confidence in it! If we painted something that may seem dorky to other people, forget about them! Own your paint, girl! Own your paint and your stickies!



PS: This is the only semi-productive thing I’ve done today…freakin Starkid live stream man!

What in the world?

So I kind of feel terrible. I am so rarely posting in here. It’s not because I don’t want to. It’s not because I’m lazy. It’s really because I am struggling to find out what to talk about. It’s getting majorly hard because I’m getting stressed all over again and I constantly feel this negativity around me. I miss posting in here. I miss glow*. I miss positivity. But I’m not giving up. I’m working on it. I’m working on writing again. I’m working on being happy. I’m working on myself and being a better person. So, here’s to happiness! And let’s hope we can all be happy and fluffy and full of hugs soon enough! Mwah!



What have you done this week?

Whether we’re aware of it or not, we change and grow every day. We do things that surprise ourselves, and even others. We don’t pay much attention to them, but we all have situations every day, maybe even multiple times a day where we do something good. I firmly believe that as a people, we have the ability to grow and become our best selves, even when we don’t know it.

So I want all of you to think- what have you done this week that you’re super proud of yourself for? It could be anything really. It could be something superficial, it could be something for someone else, it could be something for our personal growth. But I want all of you to find something you did this week, find it, love it, and grow from it. Use it as an example to keep it up. You can be the best.

Mine is actually a weird one this week, but nonetheless, I learned about myself from it, I’m proud of it, and I was kind of surprised. May I just say that I know myself and appreciate it every single day that I have been very lucky with not having to deal much with the passing of someone close to me. However, one of my mom’s best friends passed away a few days ago. My mom hadn’t seen her for nine years, and this friend changed her life more than anyone can imagine. She showed her what it meant to be a good person, she taught her how to be strong, and she really made my mom who she is. Now I have never been put in the position to comfort anyone in such a fragile state before, but I’m proud of how I handled it. It was an instinct that I was shocked I even had. I didn’t really realize it until my older brother (who is 33 years old) came to me and said he couldn’t believe how well I handled the situation, and that he was surprised at how I’d matured. He said that I’m still a baby in his eyes, and seeing these things makes him realize I’m not one anymore.

That is what I’m proud of this week. Not that I handled the situation well, but that I am one step closer to proving to my family that I have grown.

This was a weird one. But I hope you can all think of several things that you did this week- and I hope that you all see how wonderful you are.




I have a really weird relationship with trust. For years I’ve been going back and forth about whether or not I trust people. For the longest time I would say “I trust no one” yet I would tell my best friends my biggest secrets. Doesn’t that mean I trust them?

I’m not here to tell you what to do or how you feel- only to share my experiences. In the seventh grade I told my sister a HUMONGOUS secret, which she told my mom and my life and my family’s life changed for a year. It was a mess. I always wonder what might’ve been different if I didn’t let the secret slip, but that’s not the point. The point is since then, three years later, I can’t tell my sister anything because it’s just hard for me. My trust in her was gone. I’ve never been able to trust my mom, she has the biggest mouth (sorry mom but you know it’s true!), and I just didn’t have a good enough relationship with anyone else in my family to tell them anything.

But it’s three years later now and I’ve learned a lot about myself, I know what I can say and what I can’t. I think why I couldn’t tell my family any of my secrets was because they saw me in my worst conditions, when I was at my weakest. I think that if I told them everything and why I was always so sad, it would make me feel vulnerable. Like I have nothing else to hide and they could judge me based on whatever they knew/thought.  Now I know that nothing can break the bond families have though. No matter what. I’m not gonna lie, it’s still extremely difficult for me to just randomly share my thoughts with my family. Still, I know that if I did, they would love me no matter what. And even when I think they’re judging me, they’re really just looking out.

As for friends, trust was humongous. I have always, ALWAYS said that the one thing I look for in a friend is trust. That if I knew that you would never tell anyone my secrets, the  I’d love to be friends. One of my closest friends at the time felt the same way, we had a mutual trust going on, I never told her secrets and she never told mine. And my other best friend…it was harder for me to trust her. She hadn’t gone through anything I was going through, and in a really mean way of me at the time, I thought I was more mature than her because I had gone through more. (I now see how annoying I must’ve been :P loooove you Heeeeebzz )

My sister would always tell me I had trust issues. I HATED and still do hate when she says that. I think the reason I hated it so much was because I didn’t like to say I had issues, I just hated being screwed over by everyone. I had learned I couldn’t trust everyone. I gave everyone a chance and they let me down. I’m sure we all feel that way, huh? But lately I’ve been being more honest with myself. And with others. You see, I used to hide my sadness, my feelings, my thoughts, I thought I was just the biggest loser and everyone hated me. But I really experienced that the more honest I was with myself and with those around me, the better my relationships were.

It’s still really difficult for me to tell people my feelings, especially my family. To share what may make me vulnerable and to tell them how I’m really feeling…it’s hard! I still have that bit inside of me that keeps telling me they’re just gonna laugh in your face like they did, they’re not gonna take you seriously because you’re the youngest, and all this other load of CRAP! It’s one of my biggest flaws- not letting my true feelings out. I always hid my sadness with anger. Whenever it was my turn in the family to get made fun of, I was so insecure and got so sad (still do)! But they didn’t know I was sad. They saw the anger on my face, the one hiding the hurt. This still happens when I’m not having good days, and it hurts that I don’t trust them enough to just tell them how I feel.

As for who I think you should or should not trust completely, that’s completely up to you and your gut! It truly depends on the people and the situation. Just ask yourself, “Has this person ever told me someone else’s secret?” “Has this person ever broken my trust before? Did I confront them about it and did they change?” “What if they tell someone? What would I do?” “Would I tell this person my deepest darkest secret?”

Anyways! What I’ve been doing recently is giving myself certain days when I just decide to be honest with everyone. It doesn’t mean I’m gonna go and spill my deepest secrets, just tell them what’s been bothering me, and let them inside just for a little bit. Believe it or not, sharing feelings even when you’re so nervous about it and don’t want to, it creates such a bond. So today I invite you all to do the same. It’s already pretty late, but there’s still time! Go share a story with someone, go tell them what’s been bothering you, go do something that’ll let you bond! 



*I feel like this is super long and doesn’t make any sense…does it? Lemme know! I’m new at this so there’s loads of room for improvement.*

Introduction + My latest epiphany of love!

Well hey there! I really don’t know how to start this- so I’ll jump right in! My name is Iman (pronounced E-manne, it means faith) and I have a passion. A few years ago I had the toughest time of my life. I’ve never forgotten how hard it was for me and it is still a battle every day. I relate to so many different problems and am addicted to helping people overcome theirs. I’m only 16 but I have seen my share of problems in the people who are closest to me from drug addiction, anorexia, cutting, depression, social anxiety, and a list that could go on. Nothing comes as a shock to me anymore and I have grown to actually be in awe of those who have the biggest problems. I’m drawn to helping people and hope to pursue a career in psychology :)

My goal with this blog is to make people, my age, younger, older, it doesn’t matter, feel their absolute best. To overcome their fears, their insecurities, and anything they wish to improve about themselves! My inspiration for this blog came from quite a few events and remembering how good this website makes me feel about myself, and how it lets me challenge myself. The events leading up to this happened in just an hour. A family member of mine made me feel terrible about myself without even knowing it. He had no clue how hard a wave of depression hit me that day, so he had no idea how much it affected me. I was in the worst mood for hours and just could not believe how some people acted. But then this idea for a blog popped into my head and I could not ignore it. It was all I could think about! I’ve been having a crazy amount of epiphanies lately, as I’m sure we all have when we are in the process of finding ourselves and exploring our innermost feelings. So I figured, why not share them with people?!

Lately what I have been analyzing about the world is how much lack of love there is. I’m sure we have all been told we care too much about a certain person, we love too much, or something along the lines of those things. But my latest epiphany has been, “Why must we change to love less? Shouldn’t people love more?” So I came to the conclusion that no matter how vulnerable it makes me (which has always been one of my biggest challenges), I will love and I will love with all my heart. So why don’t you guys just ponder that over for a bit until next time! You all OF COURSE have the right to your own opinions whether they are the same or different! However you choose to interpret or act upon what I said is all up to you my dearies.

Now I’ve never done anything like this before, so I would LOVE  for you to help me out by messaging me any advice or ideas or comments you have! Yay! I’m super excited! Love you all!

Hugs for all of you!