gloriously nekkid

Outlander 107 PART ZWEI

Continued from PART EINS

Claire can’t believe it. But Jamie insists that that was exactly how Ned described it and didn’t she see the “strumpet” at the wedding?

I love Old Timey words for stuff.

JAMMF is curious about what Claire was doing just before the wedding. She was getting crunk, of course!

I love this. How many of us haven’t woken from a hard night of drinking with an epic hangover looking like a hedgehog who stuck its finger in a light socket? 

In college, that was what was called “Wednesday”. 

She remembers the wedding but it’s a bit foggy, she admits, because she was drunk off her pretty butt the whole time. She did, however, have a monstrous hangover for her trouble.

Jamie remembers their wedding day perfectly.

The first time he saw her, dressed in her wedding finery, it was “like the sun came out”. And then the earth shook with the force of millions of women swooning into a dead faint at the same time.

The dress is GORGEOUS, and I really must give props to Terry Dresbach and Co. for the exquisite attention to detail. I couldn’t get a good screencap of The Dress, but this is it in the promotional picture:

DOWANT! I must have this. I’d rock that bitch to get gas.

Even Ned Gowan and his s+trumpet are impressed:

Sorry, Makayla Maroney. 

In the flashback, a gobsmacked Jamie crosses to his bride and bows. “Your servant, Madam.” Claire, in a panic, says that she can’t marry Jamie because she doesn’t know his real last name. 

Even though it was plastered across the wedding contract she signed last episode. Weird.

JAMMF fully introduces his JAMMF self. 

Claire is “Claire Elizabeth Beachamp”, and they lightly grasp hands, then start to walk into the church. While everyone is behind her and can’t see her actions, she subtly removes the gold wedding band from Frank and puts it in her cleavage, that being generous because corsets are the worst.

They recite their vows before the priest, then Dougal cuts both of their wrists and bounds them together. Claire is told to repeat after Jamie’s Gaelic, and we are informed that said Gaelic translates to this:

You are the blood of my blood,

and the bone of my bone.

I give you my body,

that we two may be one.

I give you my spirit,

Til our lives shall be done.

They kiss, and she’s reluctant at first but totally gets into it because JAMMF is a fantastic kisser.

This reminder of their wedding apparently makes Claire super horny because:

And Jamie’s like:


Claire moves away and orders Jamie to take off his shirt. She wants to see him. Jamie is all too happy to comply. 

Claire encircles him, checking out his nekkid self, including his ass:


“Fair is fair” he says, demanding that she remove her shift as well. She is naked and he is naked, and she wonders if he has ever seen a bare lady before. He concurs that he has, but not one so close. And–

Jamie sweeps her up into a kiss, lifts her up, and they tumble to the bed together. And we know that TEH SECKS is a lot better than the first time because she arches her back and moans in ecstasy. 

JAMMF is concerned that he hurt her. He didn’t realize that women “could”. Yes, Jamie. They indeed CAN “could”. And you just made Claire “could” after only a couple of thrusts. You are a good student, Jamie-san.

He grins like the cat that ate the canary and muses:


Oh sweet naive JAMMF.

Claire: “Only if the man is a very good lover.”

And even then, Claire. Even then.

Then, Claire gets hungry.

Congrats, JAMMF! You just had your first Big O.

Claire pops up from JAMMF Land just as he’s coming down (ha! I punned) from his Orgasm High. When he catches his breath, he mutters something in Gaelic. When she queries him about the translation, he clarifies:

Yeah. Heart. JAMMF Junior. Both are interchangeable at the moment.

Jamie drifts off to sleep the sleep of the just blown to high heaven.

Claire smiles with affection, walks across the room, and wraps herself in his plaid. She goes downstairs sans any other clothes, and once more, we meet another pussy.

In the common room, she runs into Dougal. Remember how last episode we forgave him for his previous asshatery? Yeah, it’s back. 

As he walks through the front door, Claire remarks that he was out late. Dougal clarifies that he was visiting their friend BJR to tell him the “bad news” that she is no longer an Englishwoman. BJR is not thrilled.

Then, Dougal “thanks” her for “doing her duty” and adds:

You are unforgiven, Dougal.

Claire’s like “Nah, I’m JAMIE’s wife” and leaves, but not before thanking a just arrived Rupert for the ring. He offers his congratulations as she disappears up the stairs. 

Dougal, frustrated at his inability to grind that corn, straight up punches Rupert in the face.

Back up in the bedchamber, JAMMF is just rising (this time, pun definitely intended) from the marriage bed, gloriously nekkid, and crosses to the armoire. He takes out a strand of pearls and, coming up behind Claire, drops it over her head.

There. There are his mother’s pearls. Happy now, Poutlanders?

For those who don’t know, in the book, Jamie gives Claire these pearls before the wedding ceremony, not after. So, in the previews, Claire is not shown wearing the pearls, and everyone went batshit bananas thinking that TPTB were going to leave them out. 

Well now here they are. 

JAMMF explains that these belonged to his mother, they’re real Scotch pearls, and they’re very precious to him.

Damn. I know a perfect person is only a myth, but Jamie is pretty frigging close.

Claire kisses his shoulder, touched, and they do the horizontal mambo again, this time wrapped in his plaid. She caresses his face, and she looks at him like she can’t believe how, in just one night, she fell in love with him.

The next morning, our two post-coital lovers are acting just like newlyweds in love. Which is, really, now what they are.

They’re joking and kissing, and Jamie leaves to get food. Claire, deliriously happy, stands up to air out her gown. And that’s when Frank’s wedding band that she stuck inside her cleavage falls out.

Props to the director for this shot:

Claire plucks the ring from the floorboard, puts it on her other hand, and stares at them both.

Her old life or her new? Her first love or her second?

Book fans know the answer. The rest of you guys will just have to keep tuning in to find out!

Now I’m off to take a cold shower. 

Very cold.