gloomy mornings

I Found You.

Prompt: (Soulmate AU) Pain demands to be felt. Sometimes by more than one.

“Wow, look at you, Mr. Cranky. What’s up?” Blaise greets Draco too cheerfully in a gloomy London Monday morning.

“Shut it, Zabini. It’s too early to deal with your shits.” Draco snaps.

“Whoa, okay, something is clearly wrong. Wanna share?” Draco almost snaps for the second time in the morning, but the concern in Blaise’s eyes softens his cranky side.

“It’s nothing, just woke up this morning and sore all over the place.”

“Soulmate things?” Draco only nods. “I hate this thing you know, I mean one day we live for 21 years and the next second we’re being tied to this one particular person which is a pain in the ass because we have to share their pain.”

“Well, you have exactly 21 years to fool around. It’s your fault to waste it. And by the way, you don’t have to search for your soulmate, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I would give my life to stop worrying while waking up with cuts all over my body. Thank you very much.”

“Good luck finding that klutz of your life. I’ll wait for the invitation.” Draco finally can grin for the first time in that morning before taking his ordered coffee, and leave the small coffee shop.

*

Draco Malfoy always wonders about his soulmate. On the day he turned 21, there was suddenly bruises on his ribs. He couldn’t sleep that day, worrying whether the person he is being tied to will survive the day or not, as more bruises and cuts kept coming. He relaxed once he can feel the repeated stinging pain of needle on the corner of his eyebrow. That day never stops, and Draco never stops worrying, even after one year of that dreadful night.

Now that he’s 22, he already can control his emotions. Some days he’s worried sick inside his office as the pain just keeps resonating over and over, but some other days, like today, he only feels irritated as he woke up with tenderness all over his body. He sometimes feels grateful that his job won’t cause the person on his other end any more pain than they needs to endure, but most days he feels so irritated that he cuts himself on purpose to upset the other person. Being a healer is very safe when you know what you’re doing.

Sometimes he wonders what kind of job that his soulmate has, but nowadays he’s certain that it must be resonating with the word “Auror” or anything similar to that. Nothing can cause more pain than being in that bloody department of the ministry. Unfortunately not once he found the injured Auror that belongs to him. Not yet.

*

“Ow, fuck! Seriously, woman, blow your hot drinks before you drink it. You can at least have self preservation if not to save your soulmate tongue!” Pansy snaps to no one while drinking her ice Americano. Blaise laughs openly at that.

“It seems like I’m not the only one who has a klutz as my soulmate.”

“Yeah, she’s a klutz sometimes, not as bad as yours though.” Both Draco and Blaise stare at her in shock.

“Wh- What? She? Have you met her?” Draco asks incredulously.

“Well, no, but yesterday I felt a strong pain on my lower region, so I believe my soulmate is a she.”

“Are you sure? I mean they could get kicked in that area, or bump into something.” Pansy rolls her eyes.

“Draco, darling, I know what cramp pain feels like, so I strongly believe that she’s a girl.”

“Well, congratulation! You’re one step ahead to stop losing your mind out of worry.” Blaise says while hugging Pansy.

“Good on you, love—” Draco’s sentence is being cut by a painful blow on his stomach. Fuck. The next blow is so strong; it knocks him to his knees. His hand is tightly gripping the desk beside him while the other clutching his side stomach. The next wave of pain comes barreling through his body before his mind can catch up on how to breathe properly. He can feel the blood rushing out of his face, this pain is different. He doesn’t feel anything but pain before when this attack comes, but now he feels something else, something worse. Despair.

“Draco! Draco, can you hear me?!” Pansy’s panic voice break through his pain filled mind, but Draco can’t bring himself to answer her. He can clearly feel the despair on his soulmate bond. He can feel how the other person starts losing his will to live. No. Don’t. Please, I haven’t found you. You have to survive this one. He can hear his heavy breathing when the pain finally stops, or at least reduces to dull throbbing in his body. When he is finally aware of his surrounding, someone bursts through his office door. Pansy and Blaise, who are both kneeling beside Draco with concern eyes, suddenly glare to the nurse on the door.

“What do you want?” Pansy snaps.

“Healer Draco, there’s an emergency patient in an immediate need of surgery.” She speaks in rapid pace. Draco is still trying to catch his breathing.

“Where are the other healers? He can’t perform a surgery, right now.” Blaise asks politely.

“There are no other healers, please, he’ll die if you don’t operate him.”

“Pans, Blaise, it’s alright. I’m okay. I’ll be in the room in two minutes.” With that Draco stands up and goes to the operation room. The nurse is already there. “Just us two?”

“Just us two, the others are not available due to the recent attack on the ministry.” Draco steps into the light and freezes when he sees his patient’s face. Freckles with ginger hair. Ronald Weasley.

“Well, it really has been awhile, Weasley.” Draco performs the quite long surgery in just 4 hours, effectively removing the long painful metal from Ron’s shoulder and picking up all the scraps after he successfully undo the curse Ron has been shot with. The dull throbs never stop while he’s conducting the surgery, but nothing that he can ease with a small hiss or sharp intake of breath. Draco was just cleaning the blood on the Ron’s stitches when the surgery room’s door slams open with a force. Draco snaps at the nurse on the door, who turns out to be his apprentice/assistant. “Can’t you see that this surgery is not finished yet?! There are rules to follow, Rachel!”

“I’m sorry, Draco, I can do whatever you’re doing to that patient right now. This one is more important.” Rachel says in panic, and without permission she pulls a patient inside the surgery room. Draco’s heart drops to the floor when he sees the patient. Harry Potter is literally dripping blood to the floor. Bruises all over the place, but what concerns Draco is his split up chest that is oozing a scary amount of blood.

“Fuck, what happened to him?!”

“I don’t know, bloody Auror mission had gone wrong, probably? And this is not the worst of it.” With that Rachel show him the chunk of metal ripping through Potter’s thigh, deep enough to rip a tendon, deep enough to forbid him from running for the rest of his life. Draco sighs tiredly, why did Harry bloody Potter love to do something that will accelerate his own death? Merlin, help him.

“Uh- you, nurse over there, just bring Weasley to his room and clean him there. Rachel helps me with this one.” Draco says frantically. He cleans all the blood from Harry’s body while Rachel is already supplying the lifeless body with blood transfusion. Draco recognizes the curse from when he was forced to witness the Death Eater tortured their prisoner. It was a special signature curse from one of the Death Eater he hates the most, Dolohov. So, Harry has been dueling with Dolohov and what? Lose? A shudder rips through Draco’s spine. “How’s the other one?” Draco asks Rachel.

“The other one?”

“Yes, the other one he’s been fighting.” Draco snaps.

“Oh, yes, the other one is dead.” Oh, so he won. Thank Merlin, he won. Not in a very good shape though, he could die in a few minutes if Draco doesn’t act. Thank Merlin, Draco knows the counter curse. Draco points his wand on the open wound while muttering the incantation. His wand is rigid in his hand, his wand is not supposed to move or the incantation will fail. Apparently it’s an impossible task, because right when the spell works his chest fills with pain. Draco cries out while his knees buckle. Fuck. He tries once again with the same result. Fuck.

“Draco, what’s wrong?”

“I think you need to help me. Make sure that I don’t move, especially my wand, or else the spell won’t work.”

“Why are you in pain?”

“Apparently the counter curse hurts as much as the curse, so unless you’re doing the counter curse, I need you to help me stay still.”

“But –you’re not –but that means –your pain? –you and him?” Poor Rachel can’t even conjure a sentence.

“Yes, apparently fate has a weird way of playing with my life.” With that, Draco stands up with Rachel pointing her wand at Draco’s hand, casting spell so that his hand won’t move anywhere. After a few minutes with excruciating pain, Draco manages to close the wound on Harry’s chest.

“Alright, you have to bear the pain, Draco. I’m going to pull this metal out of his thigh.”

“Do it in one swift clean motion, or else you’ll rip whatever chance he has to run again.” Rachel points her wand at the large piece of metal. “On three. One. Two. Three.” Draco screams as the metal is being pulled out of Harry’s thigh. After that, they both finish their work on Harry Potter, releasing him to his room after his condition stabilizes in two hours.

*

Draco stays with Potter in his room after the bloody tiring surgery, catching up with the sleep he has lost over worrying for his bloody soulmate –Merlin, his soulmate is sodding Harry fucking Potter, how is that even possible? Now it’s clear why he never stops getting bruises and cut, but that can wait until later, right now a nap sounds really good.

*

Harry wakes up in a very familiar white room. Of course he’s in St. Mungo, he was barely alive when he managed to save Ron from Dolohov curse. He was very certain that he will not see another day, but here he is, lying soundlessly in a hospital bed. He feels another presence beside him, but he turns only to find a very familiar shade of blond. Malfoy. Malfoy looks so peaceful while sleeping, his head being supported by his hands on the bed, back rising slowly with each breath he takes. Somehow Malfoy looks breathtakingly innocent while sleeping, and that lures Harry in because the next thing he knows is he’s stroking the blond strands gently while willing for Malfoy to sleep a little longer.

That jinxes it though because now Malfoy is awake. Very much awake and very much confuse with Harry’s hand on his hair. Harry retracts his hand quickly, beyond embarrassed.

“How are you, Potter?” Draco asks professionally, so Harry sucks a deep breath to muster all his courage and apathy to answer him.

“Sore.” That makes Draco chuckles.

“Yeah, no wonder. The counter curse was suck, but the ripping a chunk of metal from your thigh part was a bitch.” Harry can only stares at Draco, he’s speaking in a very weird way. “Congratulation on killing Dolohov, though. Weasley is safe and sound, sleeping like a baby in the next room. Just friendly reminders though, the next time you’re getting beaten up, don’t start losing hope on living. The pain I can handle, the despair just simply makes me insane.” Draco smiles at him softly with concern in his grey orbs. “Your chest is fine, your thigh –not so much–”

“Malfoy.” Harry tries to cut his unnecessary professionalism.

“I’m afraid you have ripped your tendon, a physical therapy could–”

“Malfoy—”

“Help you to heal it faster, but—”

“Draco!” Harry finally snaps, Draco looks at Harry with annoyance.

“Stop interrupting me! You cannot run, Potter! You ripped your tendon. It will heal, but you cannot run until then. There I said my piece, stop interrupting me, Merlin. What do you want?”

“Are you saying what I think you are saying?”

“I’m not saying anything, what do you mean?”

“I’m saying about you can handle the pain. Are you saying that you’re my soulmate?” Harry asks exasperatedly. Draco’s face goes with recognition.

“Oh, that, yeah. I thought we already established that by what I’m saying. What you need prove?” Draco doesn’t wait for an answer; he just casually cuts his finger on the paper that he brought.

“Ow! Yeah, no, stop hurting yourself, I didn’t say I need any proof, you git!”

“What? It’s just a paper cut, you usually gives me new bruises for every week.” Draco says innocently which draws Harry more and more.

“Just come here, please.” Draco stands beside his bed, but Harry needs him closer, so he pulls Draco’s white coat collar down, effectively crushing their mouths together. Their kisses are gentle, and somehow fiercely sweet. “God, I never thought I’d live to see this day. I finally find you.” Harry says between kisses.

Thank Merlin, you survived. Thank you. I found you now.


P.S. Sorry this is not a very good one. I’ll probably rewrite this in the near future.

Jeff Atkins x Reader || Daddy - One Shot (Fluff)

A/N: Thanks anon for the request. Hope you all enjoy my first 13RW imagine, if you do then be sure to like this and follow me for more. My ask is open if you guys would like to request. Much love .xx

It’s been 4 years since my life has changed for the better. I believe an angel had entered my life and brought the light that was never there. That angel was Jeff Atkins.

My primary school life was pure hell and I just couldn’t wait until I was going to be in 8th grade, I was hoping a change for the better. I was bullied. Been called names that I never thought existed and was shocked that these young kids at my age actually knew such things. It’s society that raised such animals but nevertheless I eventually made it in 8th grade and more than half of those people who had bullied me either left to another school or they didn’t get accepted into high school because they didn’t pass their exams.

I couldn’t have been more happier. Many would ask why hadn’t I brought the issue up to my parents ? My parents was and always will be too busy worrying about their business, they say they’re doing this for me but in the end am I really going to benefit from this ?

At 10th grade I finally decided to break the news that my parents that I was still being bullied and I couldn’t deal with the hate anymore. They were shocked and heartbroken to hear the news, their first decision was to move me to a different school and I couldn’t agree more with their choice.

I came into Liberty High in 11th grade, the school may be too far for my parents to drop me off but this time it was to benefit me. My happiness matters to them. I thought to myself that this is finally it, the fresh start I’ve been longing to have. I’ve suffered all these years and didn’t bother crying for help because I didn’t want to seem a burden. Changing schools isn’t easy.

Eventually I had became best friends with Clay Jensen and Hannah Baker. I first met Clay as they assigned him to be my buddy at school, since then we talked a lot and met after school then after meeting his ‘secret’ crush Hannah Baker. Hannah and I also had a lot in common so it was easy enough for me to become friends with her.

I was having the time of my life in 11th grade. Later that year it was announced that prom was around the corner or also known as the formal dance. I wasn’t used to any of this, especially with so many handsome boys in our school. What if it’s back to the old times where every guy agrees with the populars that I’m a pathetic loser ?

A sudden urge of confidence came through me when I looked at my reflection when I was dressed for the big night. I wore a a burgundy dress with a deep plunging neckline that fitted on my body and showed some cleavage - it was not planned to show cleavage as I’m always one to cover up - the spaghetti straps had a lace up design half way up my back and the rest of my back being bare, it had a high slit and from the waist of my dress it had a net to cover up my leg a little. I paired my dress with mid high black heels, for my make up I did a smokey eye and decided on curling my hair.

Clay had offered to pick me up that night and we go to prom together but not as dates of course. If this boy doesn’t make a move tonight then sure as hell I’ll make him. We both walked in arm-in-arm earning stares from everyone and I mean literally everyone. It’s the dress but more especially for the jocks it was the cleavage. They can see all they want but they can’t touch unless my soulmate decides to change my mind.

It was time for a slow dance. I still had no date and was okay with that, what would make me happier tonight is seeing Clay and Hannah together. I sat with her on the bleachers urging her to go dance with Clay and also giving her light shove, we spotted Clay with a handsome someone. Who is that guy and why hasn’t Clay introduced us yet ? I need to have a serious talk with him.

“Who’s that with him ?” I asked Hannah as we walked down the bleachers towards them. “That’s Jeff Atkins, Clay tutors him and well I guess they’re friends” she smiled and looked back at me. “Damn he’s cute no lie” I said as I paid more attention to his facial details. Can one ever be more perfect ? “I’m with you on that one” she giggled. We now stood in front of them. “Hey Helmet” she said first. “Hey Hannah…you look beautiful” Clay replied. “You do too” she giggled. “May I have this dance ?” Clay asked her and extended his arm for her to link with his which she gladly did.

As they walked off hand-in-hand and started slow dancing, “Aww they’re so cute ! I’m so glad they finally got together” I cooed. “I could say the same, I’ve been his wingman for a long time now and he finally got out of that shell of his” Jeff said beside me. That was when we first met, ever since then we had been inseparable. We started taking everyday, flirting from time to time and not long had Jeff asked me to be his girlfriend which I with no doubt said yes.

As much as I was scared to be in my first relationship and that too with Jeff, I trusted him with all my life that he wouldn’t hurt me and he’s there every step of the way as I’m always there for him.

A year later we both graduated. The year after graduation we were in our first year of university and which Jeff had asked me to marry him. Later that year when we had gotten married, 5 months after marriage I found out I was pregnant. We were both ecstatic to hear this, our families seemed to be more excited then us. When Jeff got along with my baby siblings when he first met them, I knew then that I made the right choice of marrying him and trusting him with my life.

It was a gloomy Saturday morning, my favourite kind of weather. I was surprised that I woke up for once without being disturbed by our baby Sophia. I looked beside to see no Jeff and no baby, I almost had a mini heart attack until I see Jeff walking into our room feeding her. He wrapped her up all warm and cuddly whilst he just decided to be shirtless. I smiled at them and got up to give them both a kiss. One on each of Sophia’s cheek and Jeff being the eager one to connect our lips.

The sparks go off and butterflies flew all around, it was always this feeling whenever I was with him. I stood on my tip toes and wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss, just as it was getting heated, my lips left his. “You can’t play me like that” he whined. “Well I just did. Know that you’re the best dad in the world and also the worlds best husband, not forgetting the sexiest” I said and giving him one last peck before walking into the en-suite. “I’m glad that ass is all mine” he said. I turned back to see him smirk “Always will be” I said and gave myself a small spank on my butt. I love this dork.

Colors (Part 15)

Genre : Mafia/gangg AU

Word count : 9K

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 /Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by chimchams


You woke up from another nightmare. Lately you’ve been having too many of those.. You always end up waking up in the middle of the night, covered in cold sweat, hands trembling in an unknown fear and a strange jittery feeling in your chest that you can’t seem to shake off. It makes breathing uneasy, feels like a heavy weight above you that’s pushing you down. Finding sleep after that is next to impossible.

3 nights in a row now, the nightmares never end. Mornings are gloomy and nights have become sleepless. The fact that you’re in a different house now doesn’t really help.

This time it wasn’t Min Yoongi though. It was someone else, covered in all black from head to toe; he dragged you by your arm in a huge pit of fire. You screamed as the flames rose 50ft above the ground and swallowed you whole. Your flesh burned and you called for help but nobody came. Until you woke up and found yourself in your room all alone.

You sat on your bed now, hugging your knees while looking out the open window beside you. A cold breeze passes through your hair and an owl hoots somewhere in the far distance as you look on; you can hear the cicadas buzzing. In the stillness of the night you can even hear the wind howling. After sometime you start to feel an ease, the weight on your chest lifts up and your heart settles down.

Then you hear some rustling outside your door, metallic clatter of pots and pans. There’s light seeping into your room through the small gap below the door. The time on your watch shows “12:45 AM”. What was Jin cooking so late at night?

You crawl out of your bed; the floor is cold and creaks underneath your foot with each step. You open the door carefully, step into the small living area and you tiptoe towards the kitchen without making a sound. Standing in a corner you watch Jin from a distance. His hand moves gracefully as he slices and dices through vegetables quickly like a professional.

You thought Jin was too busy with his cooking to even notice your presence, plus you moved so silently like a ghost so there’s no way he could tell. But you noticed how he turned his head just a little, as if listening to your breathing, and then you caught a glimpse of his smile.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked without turning his head and you came out of the dark.

“How did you know? I was so quiet.”

“Who do I work for y/n?”

You drag your feet on the floor and walk up behind him, place your one ear on his back and wrap your arms around his torso.

“I had a nightmare” you said closing your eyes. Jin was about 5 or 6inches taller than you and always smelled like vanilla incense to you.

.“Again?” you could hear the concern in his voice.

“Hmmm” You hum

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks and you shake your head.

“No. it was horrible, awful. Just really bad.. I don’t want to remember it. I can’t even sleep anymore-”

“Well I can’t either” he says.

“Did you have a nightmare too?”

“No, I was just hungry.”

“You had my share of cold noodles too” you bury your face in his back “you’re such a pig”

“I’m also older than you; How about some respect for a change? Is that how you talk to your elders?”

“You’re an old pig”

“You little punk-!” you chuckle. After some time you start to tell him about the nightmare you had.  

“I dreamed there was this huge fire..I was burning and screaming, it was worse than the last one. I don’t dream about anything good anymore. I’m so scared of going to sleep.” Jin turns around, abandons his knife, and brings you into a hug.

“Nightmares don’t last forever. Open your eyes and look around” you look at him instead. “This is real, I’m real”

He was right. This was real, the doe eyed boy with a sweet smile standing in front of you was reality. You flesh wasn’t melting off, you weren’t surrounded by fire. You were wrapped in his arms, safe and sound, where there was warmth and feeling of love.  

You held onto him and he placed his chin on top of your head.

“How long do you want to stay like this?” he asked.

“Is there a time limit?”

“Yes, I have to cook.”

“Just 2 more minutes than” you say smiling.

“2 more minutes it is.-” He looked at his watch and you squeezed him tightly.

Seok Jin’s embrace was always welcoming, it only took seconds for you to melt within him, when his strong arms were wrapped around your back you felt protected, as if there was nothing in this world that could possibly harm you. It soothed you, made you forget the demons that haunted you every night.

You felt safe

You felt loved.

That’s how life with Jin past 3 weeks has been like. Some day’s you’re nothing but a bundle of sadness, just a heap of despair lying on the bed and staring into far distance. On those days, he picks you up and helps you realize that you’re still alive. On good days you talk about a hopeful future or a wistful past.

“Do you miss it?” you would ask him. “People back there, all your friends? Family? Min Yoongi?”

“Do you want me to be honest?” he would say and you would nod eagerly

“I do. But not much of it”

“Will you go back?”

“Yeah..Soon” was Jin’s reply.

One day you asked him how he ended up with someone like Min Yoongi. He had laughed.

“My father used to work for Yoongi’s dad. He was the head of finance, taking care of all the money matters. They were good friends. Until one day he had a car accident, he died then and there. I was only 12. Mother married another business man only after 2 months of father’s death. Apparently father hadn’t left anything under her name so she refused to take me in. I didn’t have any close relatives.. That’s how I met Yoongi and his dad. He took me in, said they were my only family now”

“Your father served me well all these years; you’ll grow up and serve my son. That’s your fate Seok Jin. The sooner you accept it, the better it will be for you” Jin recalled the words Yoongi’s father had said to him with a sad smile.

“You don’t have to do it. If you don’t want to-” you told Jin.

“I don’t have to.. But I don’t mind it anymore. Yoongi is family and for family you do that kind of stuff”’

The day after the incident with Taehyung, Jin took you out for ice-cream. That easily became one of the best memories of him that you have. The night was perfect. The weather was crisp cold; Jin wrapped you up in 3 layers of clothes. Sweaters, overcoats, woolen caps, mittens and scarf. No part of your skin other than your eyes and nose was visible.

You had laughed after looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked like a rag doll.

“Is it too much? Remove the scarf” You hadn’t laughed like that in such a long time, it felt great. Like the heavy weight on your chest was suddenly bearable; you could breathe easily now. Jin said the reason why you needed to wear a bundle of clothes was because it was cold outside but you knew most of it was because he didn’t want anyone to recognize you.

You held his hand and walked among a crowd of people without worrying that anyone could recognize you. Twirled around the street like kid high on sugar rush all the while Jin just watched and smiled. He wore a mask himself but his eyes could tell he was smiling.

“Are you happy?” he had asked on the away back home and you had replied by pulling your scarf down from your mouth and placing a light kiss on his cheek. “I guess you are”

After that day Taehyung hardly ever showed his face to Jin (or you), though they remained in contact through calls. One time he did show up at the house to pick up some of his stuff. When your eyes met he had just glared at you without saying a word, let alone an apology.

“Why do you hate me? What did I do to you?” you had asked him that day, just as he was leaving, Jin was busy doing something in his room.  

“You’re asking me? Why don’t you take a look around” Taehyung had replied “You’ve ruined us. Our family.. Who knows where Yoongi is, Jimin and hoseok are on the run, Jin hyung is here babysitting you and you dare to ask me what you did. Do us all a favor and fling yourself off a building you selfish bitch”

That was the last thing Taehyung said to you and after that you never saw his face. A week later Jin said they were moving into a different house, a much smaller one. Where Taehyung won’t be living with you two, it would be just you and him. You were relieved. Though Living with Jin all alone did make you uncomfortable at first but slowly you got used to it.  

With your cheek pressed flat against the surface of the dining table you observed Jin quietly. His strong back flexed time and again as his hands moved swiftly up and down opening cabinets and drawers. He was skilled at cooking. It was his job to cook 3 times a day and yours was to clean the dishes. Work was divided like that.

Jin turns and looks at you over his shoulder. “Is it that interesting? to see me cook?” he asks.

You shrugged and he went back to doing his work. And you just kept gawking. After he was done he brought the food to table and mouth watered at the sight of it.

“Hey Jin, can I ask you something?” after you both finished your food, Jin picked up the dirty dishes and stacked them in the sink.

“Yeah sure” he replied while washing his hands.

“Why don’t you ever ask me anything-?” you raised the question that has been on your mind for quite some time now. You were always asking Jin about his life but he never asked you anything about yours. Even Min Yoongi never bothered. “I ask you about your life all the time. But you don’t ask me anything?”

Jin wiped his hands clean on a paper towel and walked up to you before placing a hand on top of your head and giving you a wide smile.

“I already know everything about you”

“How?” you questioned still confused.

“When you first stepped foot inside the ‘headquarter’, a day after that Yoongi gave me the job of finding information on you. That’s what my job is Y/n, I’m the information broker.”

“That makes sense”

“I know it sounds creepy but I know every single detail about you. Where you were born, your mom and dad’s name, where your mother lives now, your elementary school, high school, your relatives and all that kind of information, I had to look it all up”

You just stayed quiet after hearing that.

“Are you mad at me?” you shook your head.

“No”

“Do you hate me now?”

“No”

“Then look at me” you did. You looked him straight in the eyes and he knew something was wrong.

“We trust each other right?” this time you couldn’t say it back.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier-”

“It wasn’t your fault; you were doing your job. I just..  I feel like my privacy has been breached. I feel violated. Does that sense?

“It’s not like that” he said crouching down so his face was right in front of yours. “Don’t say that okay.. The truth is I don’t know anything about you. I know who you are I don’t know you as a person, yet-”

“I’d like to know who you are rather than just your name and where you live. Those are pretty useless information honestly” he smiled and held your face in his hands before placing a kiss on forehead right between your brows. “C’mon lets go to bed its already late.”

Seok Jin’s bed was laid out right in front of the sofa, there was only one bedroom in the apartment and Jin had decided it would be yours. His bed included a single mattress with a bed sheet covering it. Pillows were stacked all around and a blanket that was big enough for two.

“Hey Jin”

“Hmmm” he answers sleepily.

“What’s your favorite color?” he opened his eyes slowly and blinked a few times while you waited for him to answer

“why?”

“I’ll buy you a gift”

“A gift?” he says in a raspy voice “why? What’s the occasion?”

“For taking care of me and for keeping me safe all this time.. Feeding me Michelin star worthy food everyday” you smile and he smiles back, his eyes shut again.

“It’s pink” he finally tells you “buy me something expensive. No flowers though.. I have pollen allergy”

“You’re petty”

“-And proud” You end up laughing out too loud at his words and he opens his eyes just stares at you.

“Why are you staring?” If only it was possible his stare would burn a hole through your face. You start to get a little shy. “Is there something on my face? Do I have an ugly smile?”

“You have a beautiful smile” Jin says touching a strand of hair that fell in front of your face. “I knew someone who used to laugh like that”

“Who was it? Was it your friend? Best friend? Girl friend-” Jin’s smile dropped too quickly. It was a girl.  You tried to change the subject quickly.

“You know what.. We should probably go to sleep now. It’s already late. I should go now-”

“I want to kiss you.” You turned and gaped at him. Your cheeks started to heat up and probably looked red at sight. With his eyes still stuck on you. he supported himself on his one arm to hover over you a bit. It was his sleepiness talking. It had to be.

“Jin” you backed a little when he came a bit closer “I don’t think we should-”

“Do you mind?” he was asking for your permission. You just had to say ‘yes’. One word and he’ll stop. One word and things will go back to normal. Just one word

Yes, I do mind you kissing me. It’s not right, not when I have feelings for someone else. So we can’t. We shouldn’t.

But then you froze and uttered the wrong word.

“No”

The moment the word slipped out of your mouth his lips crashed against yours, knocking all the wind out of your lung. You fell back and your hand caught the front of Jin’s shirt. His one hand was on your side supporting his upper body and the other hand landed on your cheek. You close your eyes breathed through your nose before kissing him back. Your hand that was gripping the front of his shirt loosened up as you decided to push him away. But somehow the hand just stayed there and your fingers started playing with a button.

The last time you kissed Jin, 3 weeks ago, it really felt like nothing. No great fireworks, no fluttering hearts. Just lips molding onto one another mechanically and formally. This was different though, it was too needy and a little sloppy.

Jin finally pulls away, you’re both breathless and in some kind of awe. He just stares at you blankly. He doesn’t even blink, doesn’t move until you move him out of his trance.

“Jin we shouldn’t..-” when you say his name he leans into you again. This time, there’s no hurry.  His lips are warm, comforting and soft like the pillow below your head; you open your eyes while he’s still kissing you. You stop and look at him.

“Jin stop” you hold his face in your hand.

“What is it?” he asks reading the worried expression on your face.

“Jin, why are you crying?” you said wiping his tear away with your thumb.

                                                         —

“What?” Seok Jin sat up straight and touched his own face. You got up and wiped his wet cheeks with the sleeve of your t-shirt “Did I just start crying?”

“Are you okay?” you asked still concerned. Jin turns to you, adorning a frown on his usually smiling face; he starts to look around here and there completely dazed.

“I don’t know. I just, I think need to go out for some fresh air-” but you held his hand, stopping him from leaving.

“Let’s talk about it” You pleaded and Jin removed his hand from your grip “You’re not okay. Tell me if something is something bothering you?”

“No” he lied. “I’m fine

“Jin I know you’re not fine. You can tell me. We could share such stuff”

“I said I’m FINE! JUST STOP ASKING ALRIGHT” he yelled so loud you were taken aback. You let go of his hand. But he quickly realized his mistake.

“I’m sorry” Jin apologized. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t want to yell. I’m just. I don’t know what happened. But I don’t want to talk about it, I can’t. I can’t tell anyone. I’m really sorry y/n”

“It’s okay. It’s okay If you don’t want to talk about it.. Just stay here. Don’t lock yourself in like that” you stand on your knees to hug him. “You don’t have to keep it to yourself you know. Weren’t you the one who told me ‘there’s no shame in crying’?”

“I’m telling you I’m fine-”

“You can cry right now, you don’t have to hide it-” you put your hand on the back of his head and ran your fingers through his brown locks “we could just stay up all night, just hold each other. How about we go out for ice-cream? On the way home you could tell me one of your stupid jokes again. I promise I’ll laugh this time. Then I’ll tell you a lame story about my high school, you could pretend it’s interesting.” you felt his arms finally going around your back and squeezing your waist.

“We could do all that and so much more. You don’t have to tell me anything right now. Just stay, that’s more than enough. I like staying beside you Jin, it feels.. Nice. Feels warm” He placed his forehead on your shoulder and started sobbing quietly. It was weird change of scenario, usually it was you who was always crying and grieving uncontrollably and it was Jin who whispered hopes and affirmations in your ear. Now you held him in your arms, his shoulders quivered uncontrollably and your shirt was getting soaked in his tears. He seemed so fragile you started wondering how you could protect him instead; shelter him from this cruel world.

“I miss her-” Jin said in a broken voice “I miss her so much. It hurts. Fucking hurts”

“I know. I’m sure she had her reason that’s why she left. It must’ve been hard for her too. Someday she’ll realize how much she misses you she’ll come back. Then you can tell her how much you love her-”

“No, you don’t understand. She’s not coming back. She’s dead y/n” you removed your hand from his hair and he tightened his grip “She died and she’s never coming back. I was the one who killed her-”

“Jin..”

“I wish it was me. Everyday..i keep wishing it was me who had died, not her. She should’ve lived. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair!” his body trembled with each word, you held him in your arms with all your might.

“Life isn’t fair” you said to him holding back your own tears “you and I should know it better than anyone else.”

                                                          —

Your bodies molded easily with one another inside the thick warm blanket, the room heater in a corner kept the small living space heated up. You lie on your back and stare above, your one arm resting on your forehead, eyes vacantly staring at the ceiling fan. A hundred different thoughts run through your head. None of them stay too long, they come and go.

Jin sleeps beside you so peacefully, his face buried in the crook of your neck, one hand snaked above your stomach and other one held your free hand under the covers.

It would be morning in 3 hours but you couldn’t sleep no matter how hard you tried. You shifted a little and tried to move away from Jin but his hand wouldn’t budge.

“Why do you move so much” you heard him muttering sleepily. “Go to sleep”

“I can’t sleep” you frown. “How do you sleep so peacefully after such a long day?”

He didn’t reply. He was drained, you could tell. Jin made you realize even the strongest looking people are broken inside; the cracks were visible on him now.

“Hey Jin”

“Hmmm..” he responded

“What are we now?” you asked out of curiosity “You and I?”

Jin answered after a long pause.

“What do you want us to be?” he asked instead. You turn towards him.

“We’re already a lot of things.” You move your hand towards his face and touch his eye brows “We’re lonely.”

“And sad” Jin says after you.

“Broken”

“Hurt?”

“Love-less”

“Hope-less” he says and you both end up grinning like two school kids sharing an inside joke.

“We’re all that.” he blinks in agreement. “For once, why don’t we try to be.. happy?”

Jin moves closer and places a long kiss on your forehead. His mouth stays there when he speaks.

“If that’s what you want then we’ll be that. We’ll be happy from tomorrow.” You smile and close your eyes.

“Yeah, that would be nice. Let’s be happy tomorrow”

                                                        —

You were clingy.

Not the bad kind of clingy though. It was the kind of ‘clingy’ that made him want to protect you, he didn’t mind it, in some way he felt powerful when he looked after you. When you crept your away into his bed beside him, when you cried and leaned on his chest, when he held your frail body and told you white lies about a better tomorrow.

He felt strong. It was something he had never felt before.

Strong was just something Jin could never be.

Even when he was younger Jin was different than the other kids who were raised beside him. Yoongi and Namjoon, they were strong, they could fight the world with their bare hands, and they knew how to make it through the worst of the worst. Whereas Jin.. Jin was barely surviving.

Seok Jin was kinder; everyone always said he had a ‘gentle soul’; he could never get himself to hurt another being. And that made him weak.

“Pathetic” his father had once spat at him. Jin was only 9; he came back from school with one black eye and a bruised face. He got beat up in school by some older kids. They wanted his new bag and he said ‘No’. He didn’t fight back, couldn’t even protect his bag.

“Just look at yourself. Crying like a girl in front of me. You let those scum bags beat you up? Why didn’t you fight back? Don’t you have hands and feet’s? Are you slow in your head?” The look his father had given to him that day was just pure disgust. “This is the second time you came home looking like a piece of trash. I’m ashamed of you. Next time this happens, I’ll beat you up with a belt until your skin bleeds and throw you out of this house naked”

But Father was just like that. He was cruel to his own blood but loved the extravagant world outside his home. His ‘secret’ yet not so secret affairs and immoral behavior led to mother turning bitter towards every man that had ‘Kim’ as last name in the family.

Mother failed miserably on her part too. She was never home, hated father from the marrow of her bone, Jin was just a nuisance to her. Money and alcohol were her first priority. Her family never made it to the list.  

It was a few years later Seok Jin found out that father had been hiding one of his offspring from the whole world, one from his mistress; He had a half-sister, younger than him. His dirty little secret was unraveled; people would talk about it in hushed voices and faint whispers. But Jin heard it all and so did mother.

After father died, Mother was quick to put an end to the rumors. She made sure that nobody ever knew about the existence of the girl or where she came from, in fear that in future she would demand her own share in fathers will. Poor girl disappeared without a trace.

Jin only heard from one of the maid:

“The mother died in a some “unfortunate’’ car accident and the girl.. She was sent out of the country. I heard she became mentally unstable after her mother died- ”

Years later Jin ended up sharing his family history with Min Yoongi.

“Rich people are fucking crazy” Min Yoongi had chuckled “It’s a miracle you turned out fine

Jin was a years older than Min Yoongi and yet it was always Yoongi who looked after him. After moving into his house Yoongi and Jin hit it off quickly, they became inseparable. Yoongi was 11 and Jin was 12. They went to same private school, shared the same bedroom, had dysfunctional families and lacked any kind of right parental guidance.

So they found family in each other.

By nature they were poles apart. Jin was quiet, more reclusive, avoided opening up to other people. He always wanted to help others, care for them. He wanted to have a family; he had aspirations for when he would grow up. Jin always believed that his future would be much kinder than his past.

Min Yoongi on the other hand was downright cruel ever since he was a kid. He was blunt without any regards of the other person’s feelings. He liked winning, didn’t matter how, he loved standing over other people said it made him feel powerful. Min Yoongi lacked a sense of morality. World was either black or white for him.

Most of it was his father’s fault.

“People always have a choice. Live or die? Fight or fly.  You can choose to become weak or you can be strong. What kind of men do you want to grow up to be? Weak, spineless, whimpering cowards who spend their life chasing women and paying debts or do you want to become strong and powerful. When you have power and stand on the top the people below you just look like ants scramming for a grain of rice. You have the power to let them live or crush them beneath your feet”

That was his father’s ideology. That’s what was fed to you and Min Yoongi on the dinner table for a long time.  
A year later another new face made an entry in the house. Another kid, another young mind for Yoongi’s father to manipulate..

Kim Namjoon. He was even younger than Min Yoongi. A scrawny little 10year old, face tanned and eyes eerily hollow. He wore rags for clothes and looked like he hadn’t been fed properly in last 2 or 3 months.

3 years later, in a school playground, the same scrawny little boy almost beat another boy to death. Reason: The boy accidently knocked shoulders with Yoongi and refused to apologize. The boy survived only because Jin pulled Namjoon off him in right time.

The boy who had lived was 17. He survived with a broken jaw, a fractured left arm 4 or 5 missing teeth, 20 stitches on his face and a compensation of 50,000$ from Yoongi’s father that came with a term that he would leave the country and never comeback unless he actually wanted to die this time. They never saw his face ever again.

“Did I do it right?” Namjoon had asked Yoongi excitedly, like a child seeking approval from his parent.

“You almost killed him..” Yoongi would say with a cigarette dangling from his mouth “On the fucking school property. You know how angry father was. We would be in so much trouble if he wasn’t good friends with the principal. Be careful next time.”

That was only the first of many more to come. Incidents like those became a common thing for the three of you. Namjoon had a reputation for spilling blood everywhere he went and Yoongi loved playing fetch with him.

“Namjoon is trouble” Jin had warned Yoongi once. It was after Namjoon ended up in a drunk and drive accident. An old man lost his life, Namjoon had his car privileges taken away for next 6months.

Yoongi’s father took care of it though, just like always.  

“He’s just a kid” Yoongi would brush it off. Namjoon was 16 and far from a kid. He was the tallest among them and the quickest to get angry.
“He’s old enough to understand the consequences of killing someone. That too someone innocent-”

“People do mistakes. He did too..Geez let the kid breath”

It was only a few years later Yoongi saw the monster Namjoon had truly become. It took 1/3rd of his organization and a dead 14year old to make him realize the atrocity that Kim Namjoon was.

Yoongi never said it openly; But Jin knows he secretly blames himself.

Half of Seok Jin’s childhood and all of his teenage life was spent under Min Yoongi’s shadow. Min Yoongi wasn’t just his boss. He was his best friend, his brother and the only true family he ever knew. They could see through each other easily. Jin saw time and again how broken Min Yoongi was and Yoongi knew Jin was weak. So Yoongi protected him, stayed beside him no matter what, through thick and thin they remained brothers.

For Jin, Yoongi would put his life on the line and Jin would do the same in a blink.

Because they were family and for family… You do that kind of stuff.

Family?

What about the one he wanted? The one he dreamed about. A home he had desired or a family that he wished for. He used to think about it, a lot. Back when things were looking up, back then when there was girl he could plan a future with. Even though they were young, they had hope.

Hope that their future would be different.

“Let’s run away”

“We can’t”

“Why not?”

“They’ll find us”

“They won’t look for you. They don’t need you Seok Jin”

“Min Yoongi does. I can’t just leave everything and run. Min Yoongi needs me-”

“What about me?” she had said with tears in her eyes “I need you too. I need you more than him”

Jin still wonders what his life would’ve been if he had said ‘Yes’. In his dreams he always ends up saying ‘yes’ but there is nothing beyond that.

After Bo-ra died, Jin locked up that part of his heart for good; the one that dreamed so fondly, the one that wanted love constantly or had any hopes for a brighter tomorrow. After that day it all became so grey. A monotonous cycle of work and survival, Family were the people he was surrounded with, working for Min Yoongi was his moral obligation.

He was never deprived of anything good.

He ate good food, wore fine clothes and spent leisure time with the ones he cared about. Women were never an issue.

He had his life set. Everything was perfect.

And he was doing just fine.

No, He wasn’t happy. But he was ‘fine’. Up until now..

After so many years of working under Min Yoongi he had completely forgotten what real happiness felt like. And now suddenly he’s starting to remember it all.

“For once, why don’t we try to be..happy?”

You said to him last night. And just like that the realization hit Seok Jin, he did indeed wanted to be happy.            

He was happy; these past three weeks were like a dream. A dream he had dreamed about a thousand times in the past, the one he had forgotten even though he wanted to hold onto it. Last three weeks were a strange reality.

Waking up next to you every morning was something he could get used to, he liked cooking for you and you liked watching him cook. You laughed loudly, smiled brightly, held his hand so tight it made his palms red. But he liked it all. He loved the warmth that you two passed onto one another under the blanket. Your forehead next to his beating heart or his face buried in your neck – He loved it all nevertheless.

When he kissed you yesterday, for the second time, all he could taste at first was guilt. Yours and his, mixed all together, gave a bitter aftertaste. There was a girl he loved whose face he started picturing so vividly. He had a brother to whom he had given a promise

Take her far away, keep her safe”.

How could he do this to the dead girl whom he loved? Or betray his brother who was his only family?

He could’ve pulled away that very instance but you kissed him back. And that’s all it took for him to forget it all. He didn’t care about a girl who had left him so selfishly or his boss who ordered him around all these years, some stupid organization he worked in or an old man who was obsessed with power and money.

He only cared about you. You were sweet, a little mellow at times, warmest person he had ever touched. And when he was next to you, he was happy. Kissing you was like finding everything he had ever lost in his life. The part that he had locked away for so long burst open and he was washed up with all those feelings. Love, kindness, warmth, guilt, hurt.

And then he cried. He cried because he missed all those people who had left him so abruptly. Mother who never cared to call and Bora whom he couldn’t save, even father who could never see his son grow up. He cried because he missed a chance of living a life. He cried.. because he missed being happy.

But now, Jin has decided he wanted it all. He wanted to live, instead of just existing. He wanted to be happy, if not for himself then for someone else.

If it was for you then he would give it chance to be happy.

“Tomorrow-?” You exclaim with a mouth full of food. Jin nods while moving his spoon around in the bowl of oatmeal. He looks at your still awe-struck face.

“Why? You don’t want to go?” Jin moves his hand up to your face and wipes off food from the corner of your mouth.

“No.” You reply with a shrug “It’s just that we don’t ever go out. Last time we went out it was 3 weeks ago, almost a month. I haven’t been out of the house ever since. I feel like I’m in a prison sometimes”

“waaah you’re really ungrateful aren’t you” Jin says while feeding himself “Last night you said I fed you Michelin star food everyday and now you’re in a prison. Have you always been such a professional liar? Fine then we won’t go”

“It’s not that…” you whined while clinging to his arm “I do want to go out. It’s just that it’s kind of odd that you asked.”

“It’s Chinese new year tomorrow. Usually it’s supposed to be celebrated with family but since we don’t have that right now-” Jin brought a spoonful of oatmeal to your mouth and fed you “We’ll make-do with each other”

You smiled while chewing.

“It’s tasty”

“I know. I made it”

There was a sudden knock on the door that interrupted your quiet eating session. Jin placed the bowl in your hand and went to open the door. Usually it was one of his informants. They were the only ones who knew where Jin was staying. It was either them or-

“Hyung” Taehyung stood outside the door, a plastic bag in his one hand, wearing a cheesy grin and a dark hoodie over his head.

“I told you to call before you show up”

“I wanted to surprise you” Taehyung held the plastic bag up front handing it Jin. “Here”

“What is it?” Jin asked suspiciously while taking it from his hand.

“Rice cakes” Taehyung said with a tightlipped smile. Jin was finally starting to recognize his younger brother. No matter how much of  a mess he created Jin could never stop seeing him as the 13 year old boy whom he had come to love so much over the years.

“Stay for lunch” Jin said as Taehyung removed his hoodie, revealing his straight blond hair. He ruffled it up with his one hand and looked over Jin’s shoulder before answering.

“I’m not invited” Taehyung said and Jin looked behind him and found you standing there watching you two from a safe distance.

“I just came to gave you that. Also wanted to talk about some important business.. But I guess we’ll talk about it later when you’re free. Until then-” Taehyung put the hoodie back on and was on his way when Jin stopped him.

“We’re going out tomorrow” Taehyung turned hearing Jin’s voice “Since tomorrow is Lunar New Year, Y/n and I are going to the festival. Come with us, later we can have dinner together”

After giving it a some thought, Taehyung nodded in agreement.

“Okay, what time will you be there?”

“Meet us at the Japanese bakery by 9. We can see the fireworks together.”

Taehyung put his earphones back in “I’ll see you there hyung” he said before walking away.

Jin closed the door after he left and turned to look at you. He smiled, but you didn’t return it.

“I guess we’re having rice cakes for lunch”

                                                           —

Time is just a handful of sand; the more you tried to hold onto it the quicker it slips out of your fingers. A day passes away in a few blinks and you’re left wondering how you utilized all those hours.

Truth be told, you wanted time to go a little slower when you were with Jin. But it just never stops. Hours go by as you’re laid in his arms cozily. But it only feels like a second or two.

It was so perfect, the way the scene was set up. Just Like a sweet dream. An old blue sofa sat in the living room, Jin was lying on his back engrossed in his book; your pillow was his chest – swaying you up and down as if you were on a boat that was putting you to sleep. You could hear his heartbeat; the page turned after every 40second. There was a washing machine that quietly burrred in the background. Jin’s one hand held his book above his face and the other one was lost in your hair.

Half of you was in the real world while the other half was strolling in a dream land. Just as you were about to drift off peacefully, Jin moved and you woke up.

“It’s 6 already. I need to make dinner” he mumbled, somehow it reminded you of your mother. You paid no mind to it. Your eyes were still weary.

“Y/n” he whispered quietly in your ear “Get up now. I need to make dinner”

“mmmm..” you replied but didn’t really move.

“Yah.. wake up now I need to do stuff. Quickly” when you still didn’t move, he sat up straight in a quick motion pushing you up with himself.

“Why are you such a baby?” You heard him say when you started dozing off while sitting straight up.

“WAKE UP Y/N! WAKE UP” he yelled and shook your shoulders and you finally opened your eyes and stared at his face, his mouth was curled up in a coy grin.

“Open your eyes baby” Jin cupped your cheeks with his cold palms. You cried out at the contact but he kept holding your face giggling cheerfully.

“Aaahhh you’re the one who’s acting like a baby. You’re an adult baby!” You threw back at him but he just laughed at your words.

“Fine” he said without removing his hands from your face “I’m the baby. Get up now, I have work to do”

You moved from above him and he made his away to the kitchen. Then began the usual cycle doing evening chores: He cooked the dinner; you cleaned the table and then you two washed the dishes together. After that you would tiredly crawl back to your room and Jin would stay awake for next 2 or 3 hours reading books or his work files.

Next day You were excited about going out. Almost a month has passed since you stepped foot outside, in the real world. For a time, you even started believing that these four walls were your only home and Jin was your only reality. 2 months since that incident with Youngjae happened. His dead face still haunts you at night, some nights you wish you could go back in time and save him.. so you could save yourself in the process. 4 weeks and 2 days since you last saw Min Yoongi. You try to remember him every day – the fading green and the musk of cologne – while still clutching the silver feather in your hand. Not a day since you took off the locket, in fear that those bleak memories of him in your head would fade away. But you still asked yourself at times, “why? Why do you want to remember him so badly?”

You watched the sunset from the window of your room. A fiery ball of red orb settles behind the crest of mountains and the sky becomes ablaze with colors – Crimson, amber, hues of orange and pink shot across the sky. You watched fireworks before the actual fireworks even began. It was beautiful, an oncoming signal of the long night that was to come. You smile to yourself; somebody somewhere must’ve had the same thought.

“You ready?” A voice makes you look back.  Jin walks in, you smile and nod vivaciously. He stands in front of you with his hands behind his back.

“What is it?” you ask him. He just stands there holding in a small smile.

“Nothing” Jin replies while moving a strand of hair behind your hair “It’s a good day. Isn’t it?..Oh, by the way. Here-” he took your hand and handed you a small pink box. It had a cute bow on top of it.

“what-?” stared at the box in your hand and then at Jin’s face. “- what is this?”

“A gift” Jin answered coolly.

“But why..?”

“Just open it” you pulled off the black ribbon and opened the box while Jin watched eagerly.

It was a bracelet. Just A simple thin gold bracelet.. You didn’t even take it out of the box, the moment your eyes caught a glimpse of the ‘gift’ you looked up at Jin in utter disbelief.

“Don’t say you didn’t like it. There’s a no-return policy

“Why did you buy this?” Instead of answering, He took out the bracelet from the box and wrapped it around your wrist and showed it to you. Why did it have to be so pretty?

Jin smiled and cupped your cheek before pressing his lips on your forehead.

“Happy new year kid” he then moved back and looked at you one last time before taking your hand and pulling you out the door with him.

                                                      —-

You were surrounded by a crowd of people. ‘Strangers’ they all were and yet you felt a strange giddiness standing among them, a ‘sense-of-belonging’ that you haven’t felt in such a long time. You were smiling to yourself like an idiot, good thing that the big woolen scarf hid the lower half of your face.

A flock of young girls, probably 15 or 16 years old, walked past you. They eyed Jin standing beside you who was too busy on his phone to notice all the eyes on him. They giggled audibly and went on their way.

An itch bubbled up in your stomach at the sight of them and you quickly found Jin’s hand and held it tightly. Jin finally looked at you and smiled.

The light turned red. The crowd quickly dispersed to get to the other side.

“Let’s go” Jin pulled you with him and you crossed the road to get to the other side.

“Where are we going now?” you asked Jin, your hands were locked tight and cozily tucked inside his over coat’s pocket.

“We’re going to see Taehyung-”

“Oh-” you said, sounding a little displeased with his answer.

You two walked in silence the rest of the way. Everywhere your eyes went you would only see lights that decorated the shops, building, houses even the trees. Streets were filled with cheery people, the sweet smell of fried food made your stomach groan. Children were running across the street without a care. There was man on the sidewalk surrounded by people; he was doing some kind of magic show. You were intrigued but since Jin kept walking you didn’t stop either..

“Walk faster! We’ll be late for the lion dance” You heard a girl who walked past you with her friend.

“I don’t want to miss the firework this year” Another boy talked loudly with his group of friends.

But your eyes were on a man who was juggling knives. Everyone applauded him

“Somi! Don’t run! Hold my hand” you turned your head quickly to look straight at the source of the voice but then something bumped on your stomach and you heard a loud thud. You gasped at the sight of the little girl who had fallen to the ground right in front of you. You let go of Jin’s hand and helped the little girl get up.

“I’m sorry I didn’t see you. Are you hurt?” you said crouching down to her position and dusting off some dirt from her orange frock.

“No, it was my fault. I should’ve watched where I was going. I’m fine”

“Be careful next time kid” Jin said to her and the kid just nodded obediently.

Then another woman, probably her mother, came running behind her and started apologizing to you two before dragging the little one ahead and walking off.

You two finally reached the small bakery. The bakery was closed shut and no ‘Taehyung’ was on site.

“He said he’d be here.” Jin said looking at the time on his watch. You started playing with a small pebble on the ground, moved it around with your feet out of boredom.

“Why don’t you call him?” You said to him after 30 mins of waiting. You ended up sitting on the sidewalk.

“I did. He’s not picking up” Jin said sounding more and more frustrated.

“We should just leave. We’ll miss the fireworks. I don’t think he’s coming” you proposed the idea. Jin sighed and took out his phone from his pocket to call Taehyung one last time. When Taehyung didn’t pick up again Jin decided to curse it out.

“Fuck it” he said and put the phone back in his pocket “C’mon we’re going”

“Finally..” you said with a sigh of relief and got up.

And then you were sprinting towards your destination. “C’mon we’ll be late” You said while dragging Jin by his arm.

“We have plenty of time we won’t get late” he tried to reason with you but you weren’t listening. You were just running.

There was a huge crowd surrounding the area, loud music filled the air. In the middle, you saw some people in bright red costumes dancing to the beat of drums and instruments while the crowd cheered and applauded. The festival was all feathers, sparkles, smiles and laughter. You immersed with the crowd and cheered while Jin stood behind, guarding you from those who were pushing each other to get a good view.

You held Jin’s hand and started cutting through the crowd to get a closer look at the people in the middle.

“Y/n wait” you turned and looked at Jin who was struggling to remain in contact with you. Even though you were holding hands, your sweaty palms were starting lose grip.

“Jin” you called his name but he probably couldn’t hear over the music. “Jin!”

Your locked hands were released from each other’s grip. You looked at Jin’s face as he was trying to make his way to you while pushing and shoving the people around him. You decided to get out of there, as you started to walk towards him someone pushed you from behind, you regained your balance and kept walking towards Jin’s head which was barely visible to you.

“JIN!” you yelled. This time he heard your voice and looked up at you. He made a gesture telling you to get out and meet you outside. You nodded and started walking through the crowd again. You were almost out when suddenly someone bumped into you. The collision was hard enough to make you hiss in pain, you still turned and apologized to the person who had already mingled with the faceless crowd.

You pushed your way out and breathed in some fresh air. As soon as you were out of the ruckus you started looking around for Jin. You searched for him frantically. Your heart was racing too fast; a cold shiver ran through your body when you started having all the wrong thoughts.

What if they found him? What will they do to him? What are you going to do? Where will you go?

Your eyes started to well up when you couldn’t find him no matter where you looked.

In the end you just stood on that one spot and prayed that he’ll see you there standing, somehow, He’ll find you.

“oh! Eonnie” A kid’s voice ringed loud in your ear, even among the blaring music and cheering crowd. You heard the voice. You turned and looked at person who had called out. It was the little girl who had bumped into you. You gave her your best smile and she returned it with a bigger one. She let go of her mother’s hand and ran towards you.

“Eonnie!” you sat on your knees to face her “Here-”

It was your bracelet. You looked at your empty wrist and realized you must’ve dropped it. She handed it to you and gave you a toothless grin since her one front tooth was missing.

“You must’ve dropped it as you were leaving. I found it on the ground where we had bumped”

You took it from her hand and wore it quickly.

“Thank you so much. You’re a really smart kid you know that” you got up and placed a hand on her head.

“Y/N!” finally you heard Jin. You turned around and saw him in a distance, out of breath running towards you. Your eyes started to water out of relief but then-

“Eonnie…” you turned and looked at the kid whose face had turned pale in horror. “Eonnie blood

You noticed she was pointing something on your T-shirt. You followed her finger and saw what she was pointing at.

She was pointing at your stomach.

No, not even that. She was pointing at the growing red stain on your T-shirt.

You tried to find the source. Was someone hurt in the crowd? You must’ve got their blood on you.. Maybe they need help.

But then you felt it, the excruciating pain on one side of your torso. It felt like someone was hitting you on the side with a hot metal rod over and over again.

“Eonnie…” the kid read the distress on your face quiet easily.

“Run to your mother. Go now” you said hiding your pain the best you could and refraining to touch her with your bloody hands.

“Y/n!” Jin yelled, you turned and saw him huffing at a close distance now. You smiled; you knew he couldn’t see your pale face from the distance. He started walking towards you and you took small steps to reach him.

When the distance between you two was less than an arm you ran towards him jumped and he enclosed his arms around your waist so tight, picking you off the ground.

It hurt, so much, tears came out but you couldn’t miss out on hugging him, not if it was the last time.

“Fuck I was so scared” Jin’s face was buried in your hair. You squeezed him back with all the strength in your body

“I’m sorry.” You said in a broken voice.

“Okay let’s not do this ever again alright. I’m not doing this stupid ‘date’ thing ever again. We can just stay at home and I’ll cook for you instead-”

“I didn’t know this was a date” you smiled leaning your head on his shoulder tiredly and closing your eyes.

“I thought if I told you.. You wouldn’t agree.”

“You could try again” you laughed but the pain just made your legs weak. You were trying your best to stand still on your two feet.

“Hey.. Jin” you said in a meek voice.

“What is it?” he finally looked at your face

“Can we.. go back home now..I don’t.. feel good..” he held your face in his hands and sensed something was wrong.

“Yeah.. of course. Fuck why is your face going so pale? You’re cold. Are you sick?” It was only when Jin moved his hand away from your face he saw blood all over his hands that had transferred to your face.

“What-?” You fell but he caught you in his arms. “Y/n..”

“No.. no” You fell to the ground “I’m fine..”

The last you remember before losing consciousness was Jin’s petrified face as he had held you in his arms and fireworks

 “Jin look.. the fireworks” You said in a weak voice that he probably didn’t hear. he muttered something like a ‘what?’ or your name maybe you couldn’t tell . So you raised your hand and pointed at the ignited sky above your head, Jin looked above. 

“So pretty…” you said just before closing your eyes.


Thank you for reading it ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ) . Do tell me your opinions, do no hesitate to ask.

Love, Ri.