Something to think about, Tumblrites

Okay. I’ve seen a lot of bitching lately about how it’s not okay to tell “oppressed people” they can’t say things like “I hate cishets” and that anybody saying “you shouldn’t say things like that!” is obviously part of the oppressive group.

So let me tell you a thing, Tumblr.

My name is Nina. I’m a 25-year-old queer woman with disabilities both physical (a twisted leg, back problems dating to age sixteen, hearing loss) and mental (autism, ADHD, anxiety). We clear on this? Okay, here we go:

In my life, I have attended more vigils for queer kids—mostly boys—who killed themselves rather than be queer than I have weddings, celebratory showers, graduations, and non-queer-related funerals combined. At several of them I was the vigil soloist—the person whose entire job is to sing all of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow” without choking so badly on your own tears that you can’t finish. I have not always succeeded in that job.

I have been beaten with a two-by-four because I held hands with a girl while crossing the street (the irony: she was straight, but small and afraid of being hit in traffic, so she asked to hold my hand. We were nothing but friends).

I have been spit on by Shirley Phelps-Roper at an equality march. I’ve had my face spit on by Shirley Phelps-Roper at an equality march, while her little grandson looked on.

I’ve donated about $500 in the last seven years (that’s a big chunk of change for my pay grade) to HRC, GLAAD, PFLAG, Identity (the alphabet soup group on my campus), Covenant House, Americans for Equality, Truth Wins Out, and Friends In Deed—all queer-related groups.

I’ve been fired for a job for my sexual orientation.

I’ve seen someone get stabbed for being gay.

I’ve opened a locker to find KILL YOURSELF FAGGOT BITCH spray-painted inside—and then, because I couldn’t afford the fee for it to be repainted, sat there sobbing for several hours after school scrubbing it out.

I’ve tried to take the suggestion of that anonymous graffiti artist.

I’ve sat on panels in Ethics and Philosophy classes and described what it’s like to come out, be discriminated against, see my rights be used as political fodder.

I was part of my college’s inaugural Committee For GLBTQIA Diversity (at a time when the I and the A were rarely included, and I fought like hell to get them included in the official name). During my time on the Committee I got two resolutions passed (a change to our Res Life forms that allows students to state that they need/have GLBTQIA-friendly housing; unisex bathrooms in all classroom buildings, with retrofitting in the dorms within three years to include unisex bathrooms) and co-authored three more (a GLBT scholarship; a GLBT Resource Room on campus; a Safe Space program).

I have been an activist—marching the marches, donating the money, speaking out for those less privileged than me in the queer community-for seven years. Some of you were probably still eating paste when I first yelled the call-and-response “What do we want? EQUAL RIGHTS! When do we want it? NOW!”

So that’s my cred. And with that cred, I say:

It is not fucking okay to tell people to kill themselves because they belong to a more privileged group than you.

It is not fucking okay to tell people you hate them because they belong to a more privileged group than you.

It’s your much-maligned “cishets” who have passed every single piece of legislation to protect and expand GLBTQIA rights.

It’s cishets who form a huge chunk of It Gets Better submissions, offering support, a friendly ear, parental advice if you can’t come out to your own parents.

It’s cishets who gave me a bottle of water at the National Equality March when mine ran out, a white man and a black woman. They were holding a sign that said “STAY STRONG 40 years ago, our marriage was illegal too WE STAND WITH YOU”.

The vast majority of queer symbols and community slang? Created by cishets. Every time you proudly don a pink triangle you’re putting on something reclaimed from fucking Hitler.

Depending on your study, GL comprise 2-10% of the population (most researchers agree Kinsey’s 10% is high); Bs are unknown; TIs, 1% or less. So at best we’re looking at maybe 15% of the population we can count on to demand rights for homeless gay youth; write hate crimes legislation; get ENDA moving again.

It takes 60% to pass a vote in the Senate.


When you go around bullying—that’s right, bullying—people who are straight and/or cisgendered, you are hurting the movement. Don’t think it’s bullying? Replace the word “cishet” with “gay” next time you think about posting one of those comments and then think about what you’d call it.

When you actually walk the walk—get off your goddamned Tumblr and write a letter to City Hall, or march in a march, or donate your Starbucks money—you can call yourself an activist (“social justice warrior” is widely derided, because of the ridiculous logic behind “let’s call them names and say we hate them and that’ll make things better!”). Guess who you’ll be in company with?

Barack Obama. Hillary Rodham Clinton. Coretta Scott King. Pope Francis (who isn’t as “radical” as we’d like, but small steps, we long ago agreed, are better than steps backward, like Pope Sith). Just to name four. And guess what, they’re all straight and cisgendered. And they all want to help you.

This is my official notice: post that shit on my dash, and you get unfollowed.

I’m queer, and hating on people who aren’t queer instead of trying to change their behavior is NOT OKAY.


“Coming out may not always be easy. One father, who overheard his son on the phone discussing his intentions to reveal his sexuality, eased his child’s worries by writing him the best note ever., an equal rights organization, first posted the touching letter to Facebook on Friday morning. In the note, the father explains he overheard his son, Nate, talking on the phone about coming out. But the father tells him there is no need — he already knew, and he never cared.

"I’ve known you were gay since you were six," the father writes. "I’ve loved you since you were born."

He also added a sweet postscript, ‘Your mom and I think you and Mike make a cute couple.’”


Source Huffington Post

Unpaid Casting in NYC: Cisgender Vietnamese Women and Transgender Women of any Color.

Hello all I am directing a play that I wrote on super short notice.  Even if this doesn’t pertain to you please pass along!

A Kiss In The Dream House
is the story of Zoe, a young Vietnamese-American woman preparing for her engagement ceremony to long time partner Michelle.  When it is revealed that Michelle is thinking about getting reassignment surgery Zoe is unsure whether or not she can stay with her partner or if they should call off the ceremony. 

Looking for a total of five actors for an unpaid live theatre gig. 

Auditions will be on Wed. March 12 and Friday March 14 from 2-4pm at Champions Studios located at  257 w 39 st , 14th floor, New York , NY 10018.  Walk ins are acceptable but appointments are preferred (contact for an appointment)

There will be two performances both on April 26th (1:30pm and 7PM) as part of Stage Left’s 6th annual “Left Out Festival!”

Looking to cast:

Zoe:  Vietnamese Mid-late twenties cisgender female.  Flighty yet mature, Zoe is trying to arranger her Vietnamese engagement ceremony and is questioning her sexuality as her partner is battling with whether to have Reassignment Surgery or not.

Michelle: this character will be cast color blind Mid-late twenties Transgender female.  Michelle is the well spoken, very feminine, partner of Zoe.  Character will occasionally have a stutter.

Julia:  this character will be cast color blind Mid-late twenties Transgender female.  Julia is roommate to both Zoe and Michelle.  She is getting ready for a battle of the bands with her as yet unnamed Death Metal act.  She maintains her deep voice by choice.  Actor will not need to play guitar live.

Qui: Vietnamese early-mid twenties cisgender female.  Zoe’s  no nonsense sister and bassist to Julia’s death metal band.  Actor will not need to play bass live on stage.

Man:  This character will be cast color blind late twenties to early thirties.  Quirky guy Zoe meets for a date on a hook up site. 

Anyone interested simply respond on my tumblr:

Help K-12 trans* students in California by sharing your story and win some awesome stuff!

Recently, Gov. Jerry Brown of California signed AB 1266, or the School Success and Opportunity Act, into law. The law, which is set to take effect January 1st, ensures that trans* students have access to sex segregated school facilities and activities, like sports and musical programs.

Unfortunately, a few groups are trying to prevent the law from taking effect by attempting to gather 500,000 signatures by November 12th and bringing it to referendum. In order to get these signatures, the coalition behind the campaign is fear mongering, lying, and deceiving the public.

We need your help in setting the record straight: If you’re trans*, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, or any other form of gender awesomeness, we want you to take out your smart phones, digital cameras, camcorders, and webcams, and tell us your story. To help protect AB 1266, we’re going to be taking your videos, sharing them individually, and then stitching them together to form one awesome video which we will blast across social media.

Did you have trouble joining a sports team? Were you forced to use the nurse’s restroom when you didn’t want to? Did you have an awesome teacher or principle who helped you out and let you stay with the other guys on a band trip? Tell us about it, tell us how it felt, why it was important, and how having a law like AB 1266 could have helped the situation. It doesn’t matter how long ago it happened, we want to hear about it!

For those of you who want to help we have some instructions:

  1. Plan out the story you want to tell, and rehearse it until it flows smoothly.
  2. Record your video in a well lit, quiet environment.
  3. Upload it to YouTube/Tumblr.
  4. Title it “My Trans* Education: (insert your name)”
  5. Publish it.
  6. Drop the URL off in our submit box or email it to

In exchange for your efforts, you’ll be entered in a contest to win some awesome TSER loot (trans* buttons and stickers!), you’ll have your YouTube/Tumblr presence promoted, and you’ll get to feel awesome knowing that you’ve helped to ensure that trans* and queer students have access to education that’s as awesome as they are.

-Alex and Eli

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How Cis-Gendered Gay Men Can Be Better Allies To The Rest Of The Queer Community

I made this thing that may be relevant for your Pride activities. My friends and I will be handing these flyers out during the Pride celebration because we’re frustrated! And feeling more invisible and angry than ever! ANYWAYS here you go team! If anyone wants a file so they can print this out themselves, please get at me and I can send it your way!


  • Gay men are not women
  • Gay men are not trans*women
  • Lesbian women are not men
  • Lesbian women are not trans*men
  • Trans*women are not men
  • Trans*women are not gay men
  • Trans*men are not women
  • Trans*men are not lesbian women
  • Trans*women can be lesbians
  • Trans*men can be gay
  • People do not have to fit into sexualities that make sense to other people
  • People do not have to fit into the gender binary at all
  • No one gets to choose someone’s sexuality for them
  • No one gets to choose someone’s gender identity for them
  • You do not get to choose what gender pronouns are appropriate for anyone else
  • You do not get to choose if someone else decides to change their name