glandis

Brooklyn Nine-Nine 4x21 & 4x22 Press Release

**ONE-HOUR SEASON FINALE**–“BROOKLYN NINE-NINE” - (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) CC-AD-HDTV 720p-Dolby Digital 5.1

JAKE AND ROSA ARE IN TROUBLE ON THE ALL-NEW ONE-HOUR SEASON FINALE OF “BROOKLYN NINE-NINE” TUESDAY, MAY 23, ON FOX

Ryan Phillippe (“Shooter”), Gina Gershon (“Showgirls”) and Jason Mantzoukas (“The League”) Guest-Star

As Jake and Rosa continue their search for a bank-robbing operation with Lieutenant Hawkins (guest star Gina Gershon), they realize there’s more to her team than meets the eye. After discovering a dangerous secret, they call for back-up from Holt and Pimento (guest star Jason Mantzoukas). Meanwhile, Boyle objects to Gina’s new boyfriend (guest star Ryan Phillipe). Then, Jake and Rosa are framed for a crime they didn’t commit, it’s up to the Nine-Nine to find a way to bust them out in the all-new “The Bank Job/Crime & Punishment” one-hour season finale episode of BROOKLYN NINE-NINE airing Tuesday, May 23 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. (BRK-421/22) (TV-14 D, L, V)

Cast: Andy Samberg as Det. Jake Peralta; Andre Braugher as Capt. Ray Holt; Terry Crews as Sgt. Terry Jeffords; Melissa Fumero as Det. Amy Santiago; Joe Lo Truglio as Det. Charles Boyle; Stephanie Beatriz as Det. Rosa Diaz; Chelsea Peretti as Gina Linetti; Dirk Blocker as Det. Hitchcock; Joel McKinnon Miller as Det. Scully

Guest Cast: Jason Mantzoukas as Adrian Pimento; Gina Gershon as Lieutenant Melanie Hawkins; Ryan Phillipe as Milton; Jillian Peterson as Brenda; Charles Carpenter as Paxton; Adam Johnson as Hayes Chett; Anita Bennett as Haley Lee; Rick Chambers as Kit Durnings; Liberty Chan as Anna Hsu; Johnny Ray Meeks as Samuel Miller; P.L. Brown as Judge Marinovich; Will Hines as Carl Kurm; Elisa Perry as Nancy Crunder; Adam Johnson as Hayes Chett; Emma Berry as Temma; Eugene Cordero as Pandemic; Kulap Vilaysak as Nightmare; Brent Briscoe as Matthew Langdon; Scott Aukerman as Glandis; Bunnie Rivera as Judy Forewoman

What are you going to do with your life?“ In one way or another it seemed that people had been asking her this forever; teachers, her parents, friends at three in the morning, but the question had never seemed this pressing and still she was no nearer an answer… "Live each day as if it’s your last’, that was the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn’t practical. Better by far to be good and courageous and bold and to make difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance.
Ujjayi Breath

My fear of the past
its thousand and one unrequited yearnings
the Jupiter-gravity of regrets
paralyzed my third eye
kept me facing forward
when I should have seen all around
in every direction
in every dimension

As I turn my gaze
without turning my head
decalcifying my pineal gland
I see the demons that have latched on to my back
and I blast them with the lasers
I forgot I’d installed
in that eye
as a child.

NSFW-Canine Anatomy

I learned about dog penis anatomy.

I didn’t really want to learn about dog penis anatomy.
But I needed to know whether to call the vet about the two lumps at the base of his sheath, so I took to the internet.

They are not testicles, which I knew, they are not his bladder, which was my hunch since they went away after I took him out to pee, they are in fact his bulbis glandis. When you hear that two dogs tie during a mating, thats the bulbis glandis doing its thing. It’s also called the knot.

I did not want to know this, but now I do, and I think it’s important you know too if you have a male dog.

From what I’ve gathered, they appear when the dog is excited, should be the same size, and shouldn’t be present all the time. If the dog licks them all the time or yelps when you touch them, something else is up.

So don’t call your vet about your dog’s second balls or your neutered dog still having balls, but do call if your they’re in pain or if the condition persists for more than 4 hours.

What are you going to do with your life?“ In one way or another it seemed that people had been asking her this forever; teachers, her parents, friends at three in the morning, but the question had never seemed this pressing and still she was no nearer an answer… "Live each day as if it’s your last’, that was the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn’t practical. Better by far to be good and courageous and bold and to make difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance.

anonymous asked:

Hi. I was just wondering - what is knotting?

Oh my god. What is knotting. 

What is knotting. 

*rubs hands together*

Alright my sweet, innocent angel. 

So, wolves and another canine mammals have what’s called a Bulbus Glandis- otherwise known as a knot- that swells at the base of the dick when they’re aroused. (Not running for the hills yet? I am so proud of you. Welcome.) Now, to save your innocent eyes from canine dick trauma, I present you with a simple knotted dildo (yes they do exist):

LOOK HOW PRETTY IT IS.

So, knotting is typically found in TW fics and the like because werewolves and therefore wolf dick but it’s a thing that can really take place in any fandom because this is fic, not fact. (Because werewolf dicks are totally fact, apparently??? *shut up brain*)

Anyway, knotting is used for a lot of things:

  • Bonding.
  • Mating.
  • (Usually male) pregnancy.
  • Breeding (see above).
  • Just to be kinky as fuck.
  • Because the bottom is a size queen and likes to be full. 

It’s also a thing in Alpha/Beta/Omega fics- like, it’s the main function in most of these fics, where the “omega” goes into heat- where you will find a lot of self lubrication, a lot- and they usually need a nice, “Alpha knot” to satisfy them and keep them sane through this not-so-sexy-if-you-don’t-have-a-partner time. Betas are free to go about as they please usually, not having to worry about heats or ruts (which is the Alpha equivalent of a heat) because they are lucky sons of bitches. (Knotting is typically a biological male thing because dicks, but girls can totally have them too. There are no rules. I am sure I read about knotting clitorises somewhere. HERE’S TO GENDER EQUALITY.) 

Anyhow, all you really need to know about knotting is:

  • The bottom needs a lot of prep before hand. 
  • Knots are super sensitive (shh, don’t fight me on this.)
  • Knots produce a generous amount of come. 
  • Partners are usually stuck together after anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. This can be very awkward if the knotting was accidental and they are both pining/ not together/fuck buddies who are secretly in love, or can be a good opportunity to spoon and cuddle and bask in the after glow of the best sex ever if the are happy and in love. 

All round, it’s a very loving and intimate, although highly kinky affair. 

I hope you have enjoyed this brief introduction to knotting and feel ready to browse the wide selection of fics on offer.

(I enjoyed writing this way too much.)

(I have issues.)

(And possibly need therapy.)

ho avuto davanti a me
glandi cordigliere picchi innevati
condor che hanno aperto buchini alla rugiada
ho leccato trangugiato sputato schifata
uomini
hanno scavato crateri tunnel
hanno scolpito con le loro facce i miei faloppi
inclinato i petali fino lí sono arrivati ha tuonato la spacconata
dicotiledoni intimi
sangrie mestruali loro hanno anche sorseggiato
hanno perforato, tagliato mutilato
alcuni
con una mano sullo specchio
—  Liria Evangelista
Live each day as if it’s your last’, that was the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn’t practical. Better by far to simply try and be good and courageous and bold and to make a difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you. Go out there with your passion and your electric typewriter and work hard at…something. Change lives through art maybe. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance.
—  David Nicholls, One Day
Live each day as if it’s your last’, that was the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn’t practical. Better by far to simply try and be good and courageous and bold and to make a difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you. Go out there with your passion and your electric typewriter and work hard at…something. Change lives through art maybe. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance.
—  David Nicholls, One Day