Note: From now on I’m going to use the phrase “honey relationships” to differentiate spoiled girlfriend relationships from SB/SD relationships - just for the sake of clarity. I’ll also be using the phrase “honey boyfriend” to differentiate spoiling boyfriends from sugar daddies.
One of the biggest differences between a sugar relationship and a honey relationship is the time that you are “behind the scenes.” What I mean by that is the real time and effort that we expend looking fabulous, maintaining our appearance and health, and doing the personal things we need to do to keep our minds and emotions right.
As a sugar baby, the time you spend with an SD tends to be limited. Sure, you may have a night out - but how much time do you spend getting ready for it? A few hours doing your hair and makeup, all of the exercise and careful eating you do beforehand to maintain your physique, the careful shopping to find the perfect outfits, shoes, lingerie. It’s a lot!
What an SD sees is your final product: opening night. He doesn’t see what’s behind the curtain.
A honey boyfriend has more access to you, and therefore he’s going to see a lot more of those behind the scenes moments. This can cause problems! It can ruin the mystique and excitement. It can take away your magic as the prize that he’s worked so hard to attain.
So what’s a girl to do when you live with your honey boyfriend or you spend so much time together that him seeing you behind the scenes is inevitable?
How to Make Behind the Scenes an Intimate Experience
1. Channel your inner glamorous goddess. Find yourself some beautiful dressing gowns/robes (on his dime of course)! I personally love kimono style robes because I think they’re flattering on everyone and since they’re floor length, you can literally be completely naked underneath and if you need to run out and grab the newspaper or change the laundry, at least you will look damn good doing it.
2. Lounge in style. Girls, I do not know of nor have I ever seen a single woman who did not look bomb in yoga pants and a slouchy, off the shoulder top. Get rid of your ratty around-the-house clothes and get some flattering, sensual lounge clothing. My go-to is The Limited - I really like their Lounge collection. Some athletic wear that’s more designed for yoga and pilates is also great for just hanging around the house, but the booty is poppin’ and your shape is lookin’ lit.
3. Create a beautiful space where the magic happens. I have a vanity with my perfume, makeup, hair products, and a few pretty little tchotchkes to add decor (an expensive masquerade mask from a fetish event we attended, a small ring and bracelet holder, etc.) Play some sensual music while you get ready - jazz, classical piano, R&B, whatever your jams are. When you sit down to do your makeup and hair, your honey now sees you as not only a beautiful woman, but someone who has let him into your most intimate moments.
4. Cut the ditz crap when you’re choosing an outfit. Every man I have ever dated has communicated to me the annoyance and frustration of dealing with my indecision in choosing outfits. It’s the equivalent of being in midtown traffic - start, stop, start, stop. Once you choose an outfit, stick to it!
5. Make your health regimen Insta-worthy. This one requires some commitment, but try not to look crazy when you go to the gym if you know your honey is going to see you before, during or after. Yes, we know you’re there to sweat. But throwing on a pair of diamond studs and just making sure your hair is slicked back so you don’t have those random alfalfa frizzies doesn’t take much time. Having cute activewear is easier than ever because so many companies are entering the market. Some of my favorite coordinated activewear sets are from Old Navy! Just like you’d coordinate your bag and shoes to go to dinner, it doesn’t take much to just make sure your sneakers and headband are the same color - and it makes a huge difference. You go from “average attractive girl at gym” to “sugar baby at gym still looking fly as fuck.”
5. Some things should still remain behind-the-behind-the-scenes. Your bowel movements, hair removal methods, menstrual activities, pimple popping (don’t do it but if you do), face masks, foul smelling hair treatments all need to happen when he’s not around or behind closed doors. Nothing kills the fantasy of a dazzling sugar baby like the stench of a recently blown up bathroom - put that Febreze or Lysol spray within reach at all times.
You may need to get creative with when these things happen, but trust me - it’s worth it. As for menstrual activities - I have been using Thinx for several months now and my life has changed infinitely for the better. If you have a light to medium menstrual flow like me, you probably won’t even need to buy tampons or pads anymore! I haven’t for at least six months.
6. Limit the negative self-talk. You wouldn’t air your insecurities to your sugar daddy. Why? Because you are marketing yourself as someone valuable and worthy of investment. You don’t draw attention to flaws. The tendency and the habit is to share those feelings with your honey, but try to nip that as much as possible. When you harp on that little bit of tummy fat, those stretch marks, and other “flaws” of your physicality, you draw his attention to them. He may not even have noticed them until you pointed them out! Case in point: I am very insecure about my teeth. I have a crooked smile and I always have. I said this in passing once to an ex-boyfriend who was shocked “I never really noticed, I guess I just like that your smile is different.” Mind you, after I brought it up, several times he asked me if I would consider getting braces. He got the boot for other reasons, but you see what I’m saying.
7. Give yourself ample time to get ready and avoid the manic panic. We all know stress is contagious. If you know it takes you two hours to get ready, give yourself two and a half if you can! That way you are relaxing, your man is watching this beautiful transformation, and you’re not running through your house like a bat out of hell trying to get your life together.
ITS ARI!! ive been wanting to share my stores n tips for a while so… here goes. if u want more stuff lmk tho! these rnt all of my links (i left out all of my accessory+bags+jewelry+make-up stores especially so i might make a separate post 4 those) and i can give recs for specific styles/looks/items/budgets/etc bc i have a place(s)…..4 everythinggg
make an amazon wishlist (or a few!) to organize what u want. get the browser extension tht lets u add from websites other than amazon!
read reviews and customer feedback if theyre available to u!!! i literally……dont even consider buying something online w/o reading reviews if im unsure tbh. theyre rlly helpful.
be wary of buying rly cheap clothes on sites like amazon, sheinside, and choies, theyre often pretty bad quality and not what is advertised. ive been burnt before and trust me its better to get something better quality than to get something u can never wear bc it isnt made right!
consider basics first! think abt some pieces that are going to be the lynchpin of your wardrobe. u can pair more out-there pieces w/ them and theyll give your looks more versatility in what u can make!
good colors for basics are neutrals and a bit of colors you plan to wear a lot of.
thrifting is….so good if ur on a budget and even if ur not!!! u can find so much in thrift stores…..go thrifting
dont trust letter sizes. take your bust, waist, and hip measurements, and use every store’s individual size chart!
if youre debating between getting something a size smaller or a size larger, always go larger if u have a tailor available to u make use of them!! if u have a garment that u love but it doesnt fit u quite right u dont have to send it back!
make outfits while u shop! dont just buy pieces by themselves unless its something ur specifically looking for
if u have nowhere to start look at a store’s lookbooks, new in, and bestsellers
some websites also have features where u can shop the entire look the pictured model is wearing, or looks from their instagram, which i <3 to utilize!!!
take inspo from celebrities, instagrammers, and models! a rlly good way to get started is recreating looks uve seen before, esp if u have no idea what youre going for with a new outfit!
i have an outfit curating instagram @stylegrinch and u can also find me on polyvore @solgaleo !
speaking of polyvore, its a really cool site for curating items and stuff into outfits!
use the extension honey to get huge discounts on most online stores!! it searches for all available coupons for u and stacks them if it can.
I have decided to move the sigils-only posts to a separate list, as a way to save space and prevent clutter. I will try and keep it updated fairly often, but for now it is still in my drafts. I will publish it when I feel it’s ready for a first posting, and will provide a link to it on this post for easy access.
This is still nowhere near completion. This is probably around 15 hours of work so far, maybe even more. Please don’t copy-paste this to your own blog or posts, reblog this post and keep the source. I am doing this in my free time, without any sort of recompense, to help out you guys and provide a HUGE resource for spells of all kinds. Please respect myself and this post by reblogging and not reposting / copying it.
* If you see any of your own spells on here and you would like them removed, please inform me and I will delete them immediately for the next update.
** Please also inform me of any spelling mistakes or broken links.
A Spell to Promote Ambition and to Increase Prosperity [nightshadeandroses]
Match Spell for Anger [thesigilwitch]
Anxiety / Stress
Anti-Anxiety Amulet [windvexer]
Anti-Anxiety Pouch [witchoncampus]
Anti Anxiety Spell Charm [witchy-tips]
Anxiety Reduction Oil Blends [original post removed]
Anxiety Relief Spell - Jar Spell [original post removed]
A Sea Spell for Anxiety and Panic Attacks [calledbythesea]
“I Can Get Through the Day” Spell [thewhimsicalwolf]
Soothing Bath Spell [natural-magics]
“Strawberries & Cream” Potion and Bath [oldmotherredcap]
Stress Fix Bath [blessedbemyway]
The Jar of Fucks [polar-solstice]
Vanilla Anti-Anxiety Spell [natural-magics]
Water Spell to Soothe Anxiety [original post removed]
Banishing / Binding
Coffee Grounds Banishing Spell [the-coffee-witch]
Creating Banishing Stones [autumnsnaketongue]
Intrusive Thought Banishing Spell [starrylamb]
Paint the Mirrors Black [thesigilwitch]
Psychic Parasite Pesticide Paper Charm [breelandwalker]
Self Binding Spell [bohemianwitchcraft]
Calming / Peace
Calming Doll [original post removed]
Calming Pouch [witchcraftings]
Calming Spell [christowitch]
Calming Summer Rain Sachet [natural-magics]
Inner Peace Spell [original post removed]
Lavender’s Calm Jar Spell [lavenderwrath]
Simple Calming Room Spell [medievalwitch]
Career / Employment
Choose Me Jar [althara]
“Making Connections / Career Success” Charm Bag [starrylamb]
Safe Employment Sachet [original post removed]
Cleansing / Purification
Animist Reset Ritual [windvexer]
Cheap Ways to Cleanse Yourself [low-budget-witches]