Top 13 Most Unfuckable Men in Dragon Age (according to me, a lesbian)

Honorable Mention: Oghren

I am not including Oghren on the official list for a couple reasons. Firstly, jokes about how gross Oghren is are basically everywhere. I can’t make a remotely original joke on this subject because they have all already been made. Secondly, I don’t want to subject anybody to actually thinking about fucking Oghren. And third, it’s no fun punching down. Nobody likes Oghren except me. And I get it. Oghren is a pretty cool character who was grossly mishandled by writers who think sexual assault, alcoholism and homophobia are hilarious jokes and not serious issues. Sorry about all this, Oghren. Enjoy your free pass from being mocked by a lesbian on the internet.

13. Zevran Arainai

Zevran is the least unfuckable man in Dragon Age because he wouldn’t make it weird. He’d give you a nice lay, do a good job, and then high-5 you afterwards. He’s nice-looking and experienced and would overall be an almost not-unpleasant experience. If there was a gun to my head and someone forcing me to pick a Dragon Age man to fuck, it would be Zevran.

12. RDP Sten

I say Realistic DAO Project Sten and not regular Sten because frankly RDP Sten is the true Sten. Honestly, look at this man. Assuming you didn’t die during intercourse, he’d make you breakfast the next morning, then reshackle your roof and do your taxes. RDP Sten would take care of you. RDP Sten would treat you right.

11. Justice

…as long as he gave Anders’ body a bath first, because wow he sure is a guy who lives in a sewer. Justice is a friendly Fade spirit curious about the mortal world and its many wonders. Fucking Justice would be a nice opportunity to show an otherworldly being a good time. Not to mention the novelty. Think of the puns you could make afterwards. “It was a spiritual experience.” “It was truly righteous.” “Justice isn’t easy–no, Justice is hard.”

10. Varric Tethras

Varric would be the ideal sugar daddy. He’d indulge you, buy you nice things, tell you stories, and when it’s time to go to bed, you’d just have to put up with him bringing his crossbow with him. Honestly, he probably wouldn’t even get to the sex. You’d have half your clothes off and then he’d start telling a story and three hours later he’s cried a little about his ex and fallen asleep cuddled up to his crossbow. Meanwhile, you are free to go back to your house with your money and jewelry. Ideal.

9. Alistair

Alistair is inexperienced, but a nice boy. You could show him a good time, and then pat him on the head and give him a cookie afterwards. He’s funny and nice and if you aren’t his first lay, it’ll probably be Morrigan and she would probably turn into a spider halfway through just to fuck with him. I’m willing to fuck him just to spare him that being his first time. Alistair might make it weird and try to give you a flower or something, but he’s young and easily dissuaded. Fucking Alistair would be acceptable and satisfying in some ways.

8. Iron Bull

He ugly, but otoh, monster dong, if you’re into that. Iron Bull wouldn’t make it weird emotionally, but he would definitely make it weird sexually. Assuming you survived, you would have a hell of a story. I would bring that up at every cocktail party I went to for the rest of my life. “I fucked a minotaur man,” I’d say, sipping my martini. “He had an eyepatch, and a dong the size of your forearm. I’m lucky to have survived.” The party guests gasp and fan themselves at the scandal.

7. Nathaniel Howe

I have no feelings either way about fucking Nathaniel Howe. I would show up, do the deed, and leave. Maybe give him a thumbs up, to be polite. My entire soul doesn’t rebel against the concept, but neither can I think of any benefits to fucking Nathaniel Howe.

6. Sebastian Vael

I wouldn’t hate to fuck Sebastian, and he seems nice, I guess. He’d be on par with Nate, except for the fact that he’s a devout fantasy Catholic. I’m morally opposed to fucking Catholics, because I don’t like Catholicism, and because I don’t want to deal with their ensuing guilt. I would tolerate fucking Sebastian.

5. Fenris

Fenris is objectively one of the best-looking men in Dragon Age, but oh lord, the canon romance path is so much. I’d do it just so I could touch his pretty hair, but I’d feel real bad about it. I like fenris. I don’t wanna cause him troubles. On the other hand, Isabela seems to manage it without much emotional fallout, so perhaps it would be alright. Fucking Fenris might be perfectly fine, but it might end terribly for all involved. As a lesbian I’m not gonna risk it.

4. Anders

Anders is a nasty sewer man who has no particularly attractive physical features to make up for it. He’d probably be an alright lay, but if you fucked him he’d definitely fall in love with you. Possibly he’d have already been in love with you for like three years. Then post-fuck he’d say a lot of weird stuff and ask to move into your house, and you’d be so worried about his eating habits and his stress that you’d be like “sure :)”, and then you’d have to change your name and flee the city to escape. Don’t fuck Anders.

3. Blackwall

I previously had Blackwall a spot higher, but then when I went to google a picture of him I realized he actually looks okay. Lumberjack aesth. Nice beard. Probably nice chest hair. Good muscles. But he’s also kind of a stinky old man who is kind of like your dad, and he would make his weird guilt issues your problem. I’d rather not, although I grant that if he was a couple decades younger he might be Acceptable.

2. Cullen

I would really hate to fuck Cullen. I find him morally repugnant, physically unimpressive, and overall vile. Not to mention that he seems like the kind of sexually inexperienced dude to just try inserting Tab A into Slot B with no foreplay–but then, would you really want foreplay from this guy? At least it would all be over within 5 minutes and then you could make your escape through the window.

1. Solas

Solas is the absolute most unfuckable man in Dragon Age. Not only is he bald, and a genocidal maniac, but he would also get weirdly hung up on you. Then he’d like, haunt your dreams. “Vhenaaaaaaan,” you hear every night forever, to your horror. “You’re not like other girls,” he says, before showing you a picture of his fursona, which is a wolf. I would rather do literally anything else but fuck Solas. I thank G-d every day that Solas is not real, and that I am in no danger of ever fucking him. Solas is the least fuckable man in Dragon Age.

Peanut Butter Cookies

*throws allergic!Lance at you and runs away*

Summary: When Pidge’s birthday rolls around, Allura remembers her offhand comment about liking peanut butter. Little did she know that Lance is actually very, very allergic. (angst and fluff, and a bit of established klance because I have no self control and I ship it leave me alone)

I hardly ever post anything because I have no confidence ha so if you like it, let me know! This is very short compared to lots of other stuff I’ve written.

@taylor-tut I don’t think this is that good or even if it counts as langst/whump but I’ll tag you anyway and @voltronpaella thanks for actually getting me to post this my dude

When Allura called the Paladins into the kitchen, Lance expected some sort of emergency.

Why they’d be meeting in the kitchen, he had no idea, but he slid out of bed regardless. After removing his face mask he padded out into the hall, slightly resentful that he didn’t have time to straighten his hair.

Lance nearly bumped into Hunk in the hallway, who was also still in pajamas. The two were the last to arrive in the kitchen. He surveyed the others and found Shiro in full armor, Keith with an activated bayard, and Pidge rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with a laptop tucked under her arm.

“Princess, we’ve talked about this,” Lance grumbled. “You have got to stop interrupting my beauty sleep.”

Keep reading

On Death Row, no man was more despised than Arthur Frederick Goode III, who raped and murdered two boys and gloated about it afterward. Goode spent all day on the bars, delivering running commentary on the “sexy” child actors on television, and he whimpered through the night. Eventually, after the inmates signed a petition demanding that Goode be moved off the row, he was relocated to the isolation cells of Q-wing. (…)

One day a lawyer named Joe Nursey traveled to death row to visit a client, the newly incarcerated serial killer Ted Bundy. As a favor to a softhearted friend, Nursey also agreed to see the despicable Freddy Goode. He met first with Goode, and for an hour the prisoner blabbered senselessly about a “bad one” who had somehow stolen into his cell and devoured his supply of cookies. Nursey nodded and smiled and let his mind drift. Christ, he thought, this guy is bizarre. At last the hour was over and Goode was led from the visiting room and Bundy was brought in.

At the time, Bundy was also living, temporarily, in an isolation cell on Q-wing. “Joe,” Bundy said after he settled into a chair, “I have a confession to make.Nursey braced himself. When Ted Bundy says he wants to confess something, God knows what’s coming next.

I’m in the cell next to Goode,” Bundy said. “And last night I talked him into giving me a cookie, and when he did - I feel really bad about this, see - well, I ate the whole box.” It was true :  A bad one had stolen Goode’s cookies. A very bad one, indeed.

Hello children it's time for some Trans Boy Michael Mell hcs

- ok so he probably started HRT and changed his name like j u s t before he went into high school so everyone has kinda just always known him as a Guy
- jeremy already knows he’s trans tho cause they’ve been friends for fucking forever and he’s super supportive about it
- like he’ll give like time checks on how long Michael has had his binder on and give him them mf Home baked Cookies after injections cause injections suck
- also did I mention Michael wears a binder cause he totally does
- which probably made the bathroom scene worse cause binder + anxiety = Bad
- anyway he like,,, rarely gets too dysphoric as well cause everyone just knows him as a guy anyway so misgendering is rare
- plus he’s never felt too bad about his body esp after starting hormones so it’s only like occasionally when it happens
- until after the bathroom scene
- and it gets worse cause anxiety + dysphoria = B A D
- and then after the whole Squib Fiasco everyone kinda knows he’s trans cause jeremy but most people are p cool about it
- except this one fucking guy
- there’s always that One Fucking Guy
- and he like confronts Michael about it while Jeremy is somewhere else and proper harasses him with all the transphobic slurs and phrases under the sun
- but then jake and rich come by and they’re like ‘c a n w e h e l p y o u’ to this binch
- and it’s not long until this dude just runs the fuck away but Michael is still super shaken by it
- but then jake and rich are like 'bruh it’s chill forget that guy’ and just,,,, give him so much gender validation and it’s beautiful
- after that he still gets bouts of dysphoria but it’s fine cause the gang (ESP JEREMY) just shower him with validation whenever it gets too bad and it’s gr8 ok I’m done

McCain went on to predict that this process would “likely” fail, and that if it does, the Senate should “return to regular order” — a process that would involve committee consideration, hearings, and contributions from Democrats. “What have we to lose by trying to work together to find those solutions?” he asked.

And yet he voted to advance the health bill anyway, when he could have killed it — the vote was 50-50, and Vice President Mike Pence had to break a tie to move it forward.


McCain’s speech on the health bill was brutal. And yet he hasn’t done anything to back up his words.

In other words: John McCain did a MAVERICK*. just like he always does.

 McCain, who is going to be alive a little longer because of the quality healthcare he gets at taxpayer expense, also made it possible for the Senate to get even closer to taking it away from poor and vulnerable people. But he gave a big meaningless speech that wasn’t backed up with any meaningful action, so quick everyone line up to give him a cookie.

*big speechy speech that gets him attention and praise from pundits he doesn’t deserve

7 Days to Die - Eighth Day
  • Gavin: Ryan, I broke my leg.
  • Ryan: You broke your leg? All right, Gavin. The last thing I'll do before I leave is I'm gonna make you a splint.
  • Gavin: Thanks, Ryan!
  • Jack: I like the mental image of Ryan crafting a splint and putting it on Gavin's boo boo and like kissing him on his knee
  • Geoff: And gives him cookies and some orange juice
  • Gavin: He did actually give me cookies today!
  • Michael: Ryan did give that cookies today. Technically, his wife gave them.
  • Ryan: That's true. All right, there's that splint, Gavin.
  • Gavin: Thanks, Ryan!
  • Ryan: No problem.
  • Gavin: Ryan, I can jump again! Ouch, I bang my head on the ceiling.
  • Ryan: *chuckling* Okay, let me make you a head bandage.
  • Gavin: Can you kiss my head?
  • Ryan: *kissing noise*
  • Ryan: Oh, your guy looked away. What's that all about, huh?!
BTS Single Parent AU

kookies-and-myrok asked: Hello, sweets! I love your writing and I’m not just saying that Lol i always get excited when you post smt, anyways do you write parent au’s? If you do can I get a BTS reaction about what they would be like as a single parent? If not then its okay! Keep up the great work 💜

This doesn’t necessarily work as a reaction, but I can do a little like… bullet drabble or whatever on this. Either way, very doable. - Admin Dayna


There’s like… this anime called Amaama to Inazuma (a.k.a. Sweetness and Lightning) which is basically about a single father who raises his daughter to the best of his abilities but he can’t cook as well as his wife (who passed away). I see Single Parent!Jin being like that… except in Jin’s case he can actually throw down in a kitchen

  • Lots of love and affection
  • Smothers his baby girl with kisses before dropping her off to daycare and after picking her up
  • The daycare moms thirst after him bOI
  • His cookies sold out the fastest at the school bakery
  • Partially because Daycare Moms are trying to give him the succ
  • Mainly because his cookies are bomb asf
  • He got hoes
  • Reads/sings his daughter to sleep at night religiously
  • Chocolate covered Strawberries while they watch cartoons together
  • Shed a single tear in the beginning of Finding Nemo evRYTIM
  • Was literally floating on air for like a month because his daughter told him he was the “handsomest appa”
  • Tries really hard to scold his baby girl
  • Can’t look her in the face when he does it because she’s too damn cute
  • Puppy Dog Eyes work every once in a while tbh
  • Dad jokes, fucking duh.

Originally posted by meganhyunhee


Picture this: Yoongi is chilling, right? Lounging on the sofa, watching some psychological mystery film or whatever emo shit he watches. His face is pretty indifferent. He’s unbothered asf. His right arm is covered in scribbles and squiggles. His 7 year old son is currently surrounded by markers, casually doodling on his dad’s arm.

  • Lets his son choose whatever toys he wants
  • If his baby boy wants a nerf gun, he’ll get a nerf gun.
  • If his baby boy wants a fucking bubblegum pink barbie jeep atv, he’s getting a fucking bubblegum pink barbie jeep atv.
  • Also lets his kid wear whatever he wants
  • Supports the creative and imaginative endeavors of his child
  • Does not support coloRING ON THE WALL YOU LIL DEMON BABY
  • Sometimes stares at his child and thinks “whose mans is this?”
  • Also looks at his child and thinks “that’s the love of my life”.
  • One time considered redecorating his closet just so that he can hang a bunch of mirrors on the wall so that whenever his child does something stupid, he can sit him in that closet and close the door so that he can look at his reflection and reevaluate his 7 years long life.
  • All in all he’s a super supportive daddio.
  • He’s not like the other dads.
  • He’s a Cool Dad™

Originally posted by exoticmaknae


Sitcom dad.

Literally Phil Dunphy from Modern Family.

  • Tell his kids a lot of stories about his “glory days”
  • His preteen daughter is like… hella embarrassed by him, but is highkey just as dorky as he is
  • Still got the juice
  • Can be super stern when need be
  • His kids knows that if they have an issue they can always talk to him about it
  • Has the warmest hugs when the days been rough
  • Shares both maternal and fraternal instincts 
  • Can flawlessly switch between motherly and fatherly traits
  • Tries to make inside jokes with his children
  • It never works.
  • “Stop trying to make fetch happen, Hobi. It’s not going to happen”
  • The best hype man tbh

Originally posted by ktaejin


You know that cliche where it’s like… the mom leaves the kids alone with the father for a day. And the dad is like “don’t worry honey, I got this” but then the second the mom leaves, there’s toys everywhere, the kids are running around naked, the water he was boiling is on fire, shit has literally hit the fan, the groUND HAS ACTUALLY SPLIT OPEN INTO THE FIERY PITS OF HELL - but he last minute manages to get everything together and in order before the mom comes and finds out? 

That’s Namjoon.

Except like… 24/7 without the mom

  • Super fast dad reflexes
  • Also kinda annoying dad noises?
  • Really good at tutoring the kids with school work and stuff
  • He taught them majority of their math and science formulas by turning them into catchy songs
  • Has given up trying to be the cool dad yEARS ago
  • He’s just not about that life
  • It’s okay though because his kid’s friends thinks he’s cool
  • Makes sure his children are WOKE ASF
  • Tries to enforce bedtime
  • Keeps them up at night by playing games and/or watching movies together
  • Lets them go out whenever they want as long as they keep in touch often
  • Lets his kids make mistakes and learn from them instead of sheltering them from harms way
  • Motivational Speeches that are actually motivational
  • God awful happy dances
  • Hangs his kids A+ test papers on the fridge
  • “If you show me you got straight A’s at the end of the semester, you can absolutely get your nose pierced” (he says to his 14 year old daughter).

Originally posted by samwol


Everyone knows that one person who has that really young but super hot mom or dad. Like, they’re lowkey popular and often have friends over because their friends kinda just want to be around their good looking parent.

Stacy’s Mom got it going on

Except it’s like… idk… Park Jae Sun’s Appa got it going on…

Whatever you get what I mean.

  • He’s a Dilf
  • Lets his kid invite his friends over whenever they want to
  • Doesn’t realize that his child’s friends are high key checking him out
  • Constantly checking up on them to see how they’re doing
  • “Are you guys okay?”
  • “Is the house too cold?”
  • “Would you like something to eat/drink?”
  • “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”
  • “Don’t be afraid to ask”
  • A little overbearing if I’m going to be honest
  • May even shelter his child a little too much
  • Good morning texts and sticky note reminders around the house
  • Makes sure his child has food for school everyday, never missing a beat
  • Proud Dad always
  • His son is bigger than him
  • Has to look up at him in order to look his son in the eye to properly reprimand or lecture him
  • Gets pissed whenever he isn’t taken seriously when giving scoldings
  • Feels really bad whenever he punishes his kids, and makes up for it with like ice cream or something
  • Babies make his little mochi heart flutter

Originally posted by flyminnie


He’s the epitome of husband/daddy material. I think Taehyung would make a great dad. He’s the perfect balance of literally all the others.

  • Which one is the parent and which one is the kid?
  • Knows how to get down to the level of a child, and properly play with them
  • Inside jokes with his kids
  • They say goodbye with aegyo
  • Openly tells each other they love one another
  • Likes to squish his baby’s cheeks and blow raspberries on their tummy
  • Loves the satisfying feeling that follows finally putting a crying baby to sleep
  • Watches his baby’s tummy rise and fall as they breathe
  • Hysterically laughs at his child’s laughter
  • His box smile is strong, and can literally be found in all of his kids.
  • Also has like, three dogs, but the more the merrier, right?
  • Isn’t too hard on his kids, but isn’t lenient on them either
  • Is a healthy medium between strict and easy going
  • Enforces a proper education but also lets them know that school isn’t the only way to a successful and happy lifestyle
  • Plays pretend with his children on the weekend
  • Always ends up in a too small princess dress with ribbons in his hair

Originally posted by bwipsul


You know those kids who are extremely close to their parents to the point where it’s like… and outsider watches the way they talk to their parents and finds it their causality with each other borderline disrespectful? You know those kids who can like… curse around their parents and talks to their parents like it’s another one of their friends and their parent talks back to them just as casually? 

That’s the type of dad Jungkook is.

  • Plays video games with his kids whenever their schedules allow them some free time together
  • Him and his kids have a group chat together where they share memes and ugly selfies but also like… keep up to date with school events and whatnot
  • Follows each other on Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram
  • Not the best with giving advice, but his kids know that he’s a shoulder they can cry on
  • Offers to help them with homework, but ends up just as confused 
  • They all live off snacks and the neighborhood ahjumma had to start cooking actual meals for them
  • His kids actually care and asks their dad’s opinion on stuff about like… hair or clothing or something
  • He picks up on his kids habits and his kids pick up on his
  • they look like a bunch of bunnies tbh
  • They all have their own rooms, but Jungkook and his kids always manage to fall asleep dog piled on the living room sofa

Originally posted by yourpinkpill

Spending time with your kid(s) - Got7

Ah I love this idea too much for my own good. Long story short I was watching season 1 ep 5 of Monsta X-ray and I got this idea from it. Hope you enjoy!


You were arranging some flower pots for the front entrance when your two year old daughter MinHee waddles over to you. You hand her a flower, careful to make sure the thorns were all off.

“Go give this to your appa, MinHee.” You turned her around and sent her towards her dad with the rose in hand.

You watch her with loving eyes as she wobbly approaches him, he turns to her with a fond look and just like that all his attention is on the precious baby girl in front of him.

“Hey sweetie, is that for me?” Mark asks her and she nods shyly.

“Ah thank you! Come sit on appas lap.” He effortlessly lifts her up and on to his leg.

He starts bouncing his leg gently, with an arm set behind her back he takes the rose from her hand. You finally make your presence known and join the group of boys in the den. You sit down on the arm of the couch next to the two people you love more than life itself.

“Hi love.” You brush his hair back off his face and he smiles at you adoringly.

“Hey beautiful.” Mark leans up to kiss your cheek and MinHee giggles, covering her face.

“You want a kiss too Minnie?” He asks her pinching her cheek sweetly and kissing her face all over making the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard come out of her mouth with a gummy smile.


“Appa’s hope Min!” You pick her up off the kitchen counter and walk towards the front door to greet Jaebum.

You set her down and he kneels to her level to talk to her, “Oo! A cookie, I bet it’s yummy. Can appa have some?”

You hold on to Minji’s hand as she stares fondly at her father, debating on whether to give him the cookie. A minute passes, Minji is still deep in thought and you see the hope in Jaebums eyes slowly fade away.

“Minji, why are you waiting so long hmm? Don’t you want Appa to be fed?” You bend down to her level and she looks at you and nods.

She finally decided to hand the cookie to him and he opens his mouth wide enough for her to place it in his mouth.

“Thank you Minji!” Jaebums eyes light up as he chews the soft cookie.

His arms wrap around her tiny frame and your heart melts when she leans into him and sets her head on his shoulder. He picks her up painlessly and brings her to the couch.

“I was about to put her down for a nap so she’s a little tired.” You say sitting down next to the two, gently patting her hair down.

“Ah no worries, she can sleep in my arms.” He adjusts her position and cuddles her tightly to his chest, making your heart swoon.


“Nari, do you wanna help appa in the kitchen?” Jinyoung asks your four year old daughter with excited eyes.

“Ya!” She springs up from the toys on the floor and runs into his arms.

He holds her tightly to her and picks her up to bring her into the kitchen with him. Jinyoung sets her on the counter and pulls out the ingredients for dinner tonight.

“Alright Nari, do you think Umma would like chicken or beef tonight?” Jinyoung asks her holding up the two meats for her choosing.

“Ah!” She points towards the one on the left and he nods approvingly.

Some hours later the food is finally done cooking and you should be home any minute. As if on cue he hears your keys rattle in the door, he quickly dries his hands to welcome you inside.

“Did you guys do this?” You place your hand on your chest at the thought of the loves of your life cooking dinner to surprise you.

“Yes, Nari here did most of it.” Jinyoung winks at you and kisses your lips sweetly.

“Thank you Nari-ah.” You kiss her nose and she giggles, leaning into your embrace.

You cut some up for her and place it in the bowl in front of her. You cut some up for yourself as well and take a bite, pleasantly surprised at how well it worked out.


Jackson walks through the front door quietly and finds you and your younger playing on the floor of the living room. When you both notice him he trots in and plants himself down on the floor next to you.

“Give Appa a kiss!” You tell your daughter, NaYoung.

Jackson’s face lights up as she pecks his cheek, he looks over to you and you give him a thumbs up.

“Thank you, baby.” He kisses her again and she giggles, covering her face.

“Ah no, don’t cover your face. You’re too beautiful to do that, I tell your umma that all the time.” He tells her before throwing you a wink, making you playfully roll your eyes.

“Appa! I missed you.” Your eldest, Kang comes running around the corner making you raise your eyebrows at him.

“No running in the house Kang, you know better.” You lightly scold him and he nods before running into his dads arms.

“Hey buddy, I missed you too.” He pushes back his fringe and kisses his forehead.

“Now that Appa is home, who’s ready for dinner?” You ask and they all nod excitedly, including Jackson.


You decided since Youngjae finally had a day off that your family would go to an interactive playhouse. You’ve heard great things about this place in downtown Seoul and you got the chance to go today.

Youngjae stepped on the piano mat and started jumping and hopping around on the notes to make them play a tune. You giggle as you hold the hands of your four year old son Jaehyun, and five year old daughter Yejin.

“Umma can we play!” Yejin asks you with puppy dog eyes.

“Of course.” You let go of their hands and watch them run to their dad happily.

Jaehyun is fairly concentrated on the last few notes at the end of the mat while Yejin jumps around freely.

“Appa!” Jaehyun cries out for his dad and Youngjae looks at him with fond eyes as he plays a tune with the last three notes.

“Jae that’s great!” You and Youngjae clap for him and Yejin starts playing a tune of her own.

“Appa! Umma! I can do that too.” Yejin pours slightly and Youngjae shakes his head at his little rascals.

He hops on the note and Yejin shrieks and pushes him away from the mat completely.

“Ah sorry sorry, please continue!” Youngjae stands by you in front of the mat with an arm wrapped around your waist, watching your two children play to their hearts content.


“Yuri please put on your shoes!” You beg to your obstinate four year old daughter.

She shakes her head and you take in a long breath of air to cool down. When bambam walks down the stairs you’re eternally grateful to see him.

“Your daughter won’t put on her shoes, she’s going to be late if she keeps this up.” You set your hands on your hips and he clicks his tongue at the young girl.

He sits down on the floor with her and tries to slip on her socks to see if maybe that’ll coerce her into putting on her shoes as well.

“Why are you being difficult for your umma Yuri?” He asks her, easily slipping on her velcro sneakers.

She merely shrugs in response before speaking, “I miss you, Appa.”

You can visibly see Bambams heart clench in his chest, as yours does as well. You both know how difficult it is for her to not see her father as often as the other kids she goes to school with.

“Ah I understand now.” After he secures her shoes on, he helps her slip on her backpack.

“Hop on Yuri.” Bambam tried to make himself smaller for her to latch onto his back.

She wraps her arms around his neck and he holds her small legs tightly so she doesn’t slip.

“Let’s go to school baby, Appa will spend plenty of time with you when you come back, okay?” Bambam sets her in her car seat and secures it, when you saw her nod a proud smile washed onto your face.

“I’ll take her to school honey, you relax.” He runs to kids your cheek before hopping in the car and giving a small wave as he pulls out of the driveway.


“Yumi-Ah where are you?” Yugyeom calls for his daughter in the empty house.

“Here!” She calls back and he wanders to where the response was heard from.

He finds her in her room playing with legos, happily building a shop of some sort. He takes a seat next to her and picks up a few legos similar to the ones she’s used already.

“Can Appa play too?” He asks and she nods with a smile that melts hearts.

“Of course Appa.”

You peak your head into her room just enough to see him trying to figure out where the next piece goes. You accidentally reveal yourself when your daughter, who’s famous for being as sassy as her dad, tells him he’s doing the wrong thing. His head whips around to see you cover your mouth to hide your giggle.

“Looks like Umma wants to join us, Yumi!” Yugyeom practically pulls you down onto the floor next to him.

“Are you tired yet baby? It’s almost nap time.” You tell her and she shakes her head stubbornly.

“Ah, well in ten minutes I’m gonna tuck you in bed okay?” You ask her and she shakes her head once again.

“No Yumi, listen to your umma.” Yugyeom steps in and she starts pouting.

“Appa can you tuck me in?” She asks with eyes nobody could say no to, you can literally see him melt.

A few minutes later you leave the room for him to tuck her in, you watch quietly as he plays some soft rain sounds on the music player and tucks in the sheets on all sides. He kisses her forehead and slides out carefully from the position she fell asleep in.

The Punisher: rants

Billy Russo aka Ben fucking Barnes is so handsome and i know from the first moment he appeared that this mother fucker is up to no good but still, he is so fucking beautiful.

Curt you big teddy bear!!!

Dinah is gay. That’s it.

I wanna hug Lewis and adopt him as my son and take care of him!!!!GIVE THIS BOY SOME COOKIES!!!!

KAREN: *is sad*

FRANK: *appear out of nowhere* WHO CAUSE THIS!? *punches a hole on the wall* KAREN DESERVES ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD *kick down doors* WHOEVER CAUSE HER SADNESS WILL MEET DEATH!!!!

Dirty cinnamon roll: Micro

No…..don’t lean in, Sarah….OH NOOOOOOOODON'TKISSHI—too late.

#i #don’t #want #your #wife

#karen #me #want

- Frank Castle, 2017

Micro: it’s ur girlfriend



Karen defending Frank on the radio made the pores on my face tighten.

Karen: *fakes shock* whUt fRaNk iS aLiVE!? WHut


Someone please take care of my family because i’m dead.



Because you motherfuckers always seem to have sad headcanons and shit, here’s a nice one

There’s a grandmother ghost that kidnaps Danny every few weeks for the sole purpose of giving him cookies, a hug, and someone to believe in both sides of him.

He can whine about school and ghost fighting and get ACTUAL PARENTAL ADVICE ON HOW TO HANDLE IT.

He gets love and support and does whatever he can to make sure his parents never catch her.