1,900 Years Steve. Years.
@breyito not what you asked for so I’m keeping that prompt in my ask box for now, but this is pretty fluffy.
Inspired slightly by @not-close-to-straight and her Long Distance series, (getting me back into Stuckony) Based on this prompt with Tony as Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Tony noticed the hot blonde, staring lovingly into the beefy brunette’s eyes the moment he walked in. It was cheesy as heck, but damn they were good eye candy. No one could blame him for looking, and listening in a little, he was hungry and his phone was dead it’s not like he had anything else to do.
“If I could reach up and give you a star for every time you made me smile there would be none left.” Hot Blonde said, Tony frowned.
“That is completely unrealistic.” He blurted, apparently just loud enough to be heard by the romantic couple.
“What?” Beefy brunette looks a little angry at him, but Tony is honestly too tired to care. He levels both of them with an unimpressed look.
“There are 100 billion stars in our galaxy alone, if you made him smile one hundred times every single minute it would take over 1,900 years for him to even take all the stars in our galaxy. Then there are the other 50 galaxies just in our local group, and then the nearly 200 billion in the known universe. It’s a completely erroneous statement.” Tony prattles off, doing the math in his head. The Blonde looks slightly hurt.
“That was kind of hot, I’m Bucky, but you can call me whatever you want to doll.” The brunette, Bucky holds out his hand to Tony.
“Your bad-at-math boyfriend is literally right there.” Tony points out, jerking his thumb towards the hot blonde. Bucky laughs.
“That’s Steve, he’ll probably think you’re hot too, once his pride recovers.” Bucky waves off his concern. Hot Blonde, Steve, shrugs agreeably.
“I’m Tony.” Tony offers. A waitress appears at their table, dropping a huge burger in front of Bucky, Tony’s mouth waters. “I’ll give you one hundred dollars if you give me that burger right now.”
“Tempting.” Bucky teases, making eye contact as he takes a bite out of it. “Steve, I’ll give you- is that a salad? Never mind. Bucky, I will give you two hundred dollars if you give me the rest of that burger please. I’m starving.” Bucky takes another bite, chewing slowly.
“I appreciate the offer Doll.” He says, flashing a smile at Tony.
“Your boyfriend is mean.” Tony informs Steve. “Really mean.” Steve nods, taking a bite of his salad and holding his fork out to Tony. “You’re just cruel.”
“Aw, c’mon Doll, we don’t mean any harm.” Bucky pulls out the chair next to him. “I’ll give you a bite if you come sit with us.” He’s laying on the Brooklyn charm strong, and offering food, how could Tony possibly resist.
“Fine.” He drops into the seat, snatching the burger out of Bucky’s hands and taking the biggest bite he can manage.
“So, what do you do Tony?” Steve asks. Bucky looks a little shocked, sending Tony a can-you-believe-this-guy look.
“Well, Steve I think I’ve seen him on enough Magazine covers to know he’s a model.” Bucky teases. Tony snorts a laugh.
“I’m not surprised, pretty face like that.” Steve grins at him, and Tony tries to pretend he’s not blushing. “Should have known you’d be a model.” Bucky is trying to suppress his giggles and a waitress shows up at Tony’s table, he waves her over.
“Sorry, I moved. Thank you so much though. This looks delicious.” He beams at her, and she set’s down all three of the entrée’s he ordered in front of him. Bucky and Steve look shocked. “I haven’t eaten since, when was I kidnapped? Yesterday, yeah since yesterday morning.”
“What the hell Doll, I would have given you my whole burger immediately if you had told me that.” Bucky says, looking down at his half-eaten burger. Tony waves him off, humming around a mouthful of fries.
“I’m not a model by the way.” He informs Steve when he comes up for air. “I’m Tony Stark, owner of Stark Industries.” Steve’s eyes go wide.
“You saved my life.” He whispers. Tony looks up confused. “Your body armor did anyways.”
“Um, no problem dude. I try my best.” Tony shrugs, turning back to his burger.
“We’re keeping him.” Bucky whispers, loudly. Tony’s ears turn pink.
“I’m not a lost puppy.” He grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. “You can’t just keep me.”
“We’re totally keeping him.” Steve agrees, reaching over to ruffle Tony’s hair.
“Ugh, fine. Only because you’re both cute.”