give peace a chance open here

Christian Yu x Reader: Let Me Explain - Chapter 3

Chapter 1: These Seoul Streets. | Chapter 2: Uninvited Guests | 

Chapter 3: Confrontation 

Word count: 3542

Series type: Angst, Smut (in later chapters) & Fluff.

Warnings: Mentions of sex and bad language.

Additional Characters: DPR LIVE (Dabin) and mentions of other artists/fictional characters.

Rough summary: Christian is your boss but also your best friend. You both have feelings for each other but his way of living complicates your relationship.

A/N: Thank you for all the nice comments on the second Chapter! It means a lot as it keeps motivating me to write the series. Also keep in mind that English is not my first language, therefore there could be some spelling/grammar mistakes.

3 Days total went by since that incident.

The amount of times Christian called or texted you was insane. What also drove you insane was the fact that every time you received a call or text from him, it made it harder for you not to cave in and answer already.

You weren’t even angry anymore, just sad. A sad mess.

You continued on your schedules as they were, knowing that your work was the only thing that could distract you.

You sit on your couch scrolling through your emails when you see that your schedule for the rest of the week has arrived. It was still new to you that your schedules were now managed by someone else. You had to admit it was easier this way, but still you had made up your mind on leaving DPR and buying out your contract.

Your eyes scan through the excel sheet and you frown. “No Kim Yura?” you whisper to yourself.

You called your manager to ask for clarification. He answered right away, as if he knew you’d call.

“Hello? y/n, you haven’t been to a meeting in a few days now, what are you up to?”

“Ah-yeah, Hi oppa, I’m just not feeling so well.” You lie adjusting your phone closer to your ear so you could hear him better.

“Oh, make sure to get some rest then y/n-ah, is there a reason behind your call?”

“Yes, ehm, I was wondering why all of my schedules with Kim Yura suddenly disappeared?”

“Oh, I thought Ian told you already. We dropped her completely. He told us that you found her too difficult to work with.” Your manager answered casually.

Your heart sank a little. Confused and taken aback by the news. Why would he do that?

“Wait, so it was Christian’s idea to drop her? What about her debut mv?” you ask, your body language gave away your alertness and curiosity.

“We’re not going through with the package deal anymore y/n-ah. I honestly don’t know why we won’t. It’d be huge for us, but Ian made his mind up, he just didn’t want to do it anymore. He said he wanted to focus more on CF’s and stuff.”

“That’s bullshit” you say under your breath furrowing your eyebrows

“Excuse me?” your manager asked, obviously hearing what you said.

“Ahh-nothing oppa, It’s nothing, thank you for the info. I know enough for now.”

“Alright, get well soon.” He dryly says, probably knowing you’re not sick at all.

“Thank you, will do” you say and hang up.

You stare at your phone in your hand for a moment. CF’s?

Christian wanting to focus more on CF’s was the biggest lie you have heard since three days ago.

What has gotten into him all of a sudden? He completely dropped her from your scheduling, meaning someone else was going to have to teach her how to dance, which also meant no DPR. It also meant that the mv deal must be off the tracks.

You let yourself fall back on the couch putting your hand to your forehead. Maybe you should just resign as quickly as possible so he can still recover the deal with YG and Yura.

You can’t let this petty personal situation come between something as big as this. Reeling in Yura was one of the best things that happened so far this year for the crew. Apart from all the underlying drama of course.

You’ve never disliked Christian more than you did right now, but you wish him and the rest of the crew well. And the though of him declining such a huge offer because of personal drama made you feel guilty. But why did it make you feel guilty? When all of it is his own fault?

Your thoughts frustrate you and you swear to god that you were about to scream until you heard the sound of your doorbell.

Maybe it was Dabin? He hadn’t contacted you since that day, you didn’t blame him. You figured he had enough of the situation as it was.

You reluctantly get up rubbing your eyes while walking to your front door. As you open it you see an unfamiliar face.

“Package for y/n-sshi” A tall looking guy said looking at you with a black expression.

“I didn’t order anything” you say giving him a confused look.

“It says ‘For miss y/n, are you miss y/n?” He asks annoyed.

“Well-yeah, but-” “Then this is yours” he says shoving the box into your hands. “Have a nice day” he says walking away.

Jesus, he was in a mood. Even though you wouldn’t be happy either if you had to deliver packages in the pouring rain, his attitude bothered you as you closed the door behind you. You walk to the kitchen area, sitting on a chair behind your bar inspecting the box in front of you.

You look at it and read the label connected to the plastic wrap which was wrapped around the entire thing.

“From Ian” it said.

You frown, is it your stuff that you forgot at his place? Is he cutting ties from you this time? Is that why he dropped Yura? So he can actually date her? Different thoughts go through your mind as you just stare at the box in front of you, not knowing what to expect when you’d see what’s inside of it.

You cut the plastic wrap across the box and carefully remove it. “Fragile” you read out loud as you remove the sticker as well.

You shake the box to hear a soft rumble and place the it down to open it.

“Holy shit.” You whisper to yourself. This might have been the last thing you expected.

You carefully lift the shoes out of the box as your jaw dropped.

Your nude Valentino pumps. Suddenly your mind flashed back to that night. That damn night where he had not only broken the heel of your shoe, but also your trust.

These looked different though, they looked like they were a lot more expensive than your old pair. You carefully inspect the pump, looking at the Swarovski crystal imbedded straps, carefully putting them back into the box, searching for something else.

There was a note.

“I told you I’d buy you new ones. Please take these as a peace offering. I beg you to give me a chance love. I know I have a lot of explaining to do.”

You bit your lip not knowing how to feel about this. Putting the shoes back into the box.

                                                   - time jump –

You barge into his house the second he opened the door, not making eye contact with him or even thinking of people being in his house. Luckily there weren’t any.

A startled Christian followed you. He hasn’t seen or spoken to you in 5 days. And for you to show up here unannounced was a very unlikely thing for you to do.

“Christian I can’t accept these” you say putting the shoe box down on his coffee table. You were nervous as hell. On the ride here you thought of a hundred different scenarios. What If Yura is there? What if another bitch was there? What if Dabin is there? Or one of his many famous friends?

You were relieved none of these scenarios came true, even though you had everything you wanted to say planned out already. Still, standing in front of him like this took balls from you. You hated confrontation, but you couldn’t avoid him forever.

Christian cautiously took a few steps closer to you and the coffee table where you had just put the shoe box down on.

“Why?” is all he could ask, giving you a look up and down. You know you didn’t look like you always looked. Sleeping was still an issue, and eating had become one of your new issues.

“Because, Christian. I googled the damn price and that’s just ridiculous.”

He shook his head picking up the box and shoving it into your hands again. “I told you I’d buy you new ones. So take it.”

“No, that doesn’t make sense, these are worth 3 times more than my old pair, I can’t accept them. End of story. But that’s not the reason why I came here in the first place” you say all in one breath.

“What is it? Are you finally here to talk to me?” he asks looking for answers into your eyes.

“Yes, but not about personal stuff.” You say crossing your arms.

It took everything you had not to run out of that door right then and there.

“Then what y/n?” he asks still confused at your odd behavior.

“I came here to return these” you say putting the box down on his coffee table again. His eyes quickly followed your movements but fixated back on your eyes again in a split second.

“And to tell you that I want out. I’m going to buy out the contract Ian. I don’t want this anymore.”

He fell quiet. Looking at the ground. You couldn’t read any emotion from his posture or face. He just sighed and looked up, meeting your eyes once again.

He stayed quiet for a little while longer, making your insides turn once again. The silence was cutting you in half. So you decided to speak up first.

“I’ll have the money ready in a week, maybe it’s not too late to contact Yura’s management. Maybe you can still get the deal.” You say determined.

“No.” he simply says walking to his couch and sitting down. He leaned his elbows on his thighs to support his head. His hands clamped onto his messy hair in frustration.

“I’ll terminate the fucking contract. You don’t have to buy that shit out, y/n that’s ridiculous, I also don’t give a fuck about that deal anymore. It cost me the most precious thing I had.” He says looking up to you again.

What was that look on his face? Was he…hurt. Did he mean you?

“That’s not what I signed for.” You simply said, steering the conversation back into the planned direction, keeping your emotions in check while trying not to break your professional composure.

“Cut the crap please. Why are you acting like this!? Talk to me like you’re a person with actual feelings, not like a programmed robot” he yells at you getting up.

His sudden outburst scared you but you made sure not to break, fearlessly looking straight into his dark sparkling eyes.

“Don’t yell at me” you softly say, having a more and more difficult time to suppress your emotions.

“Terminating the contract also means terminating our relationship doesn’t it.” He says looking straight at you.

“What relationship Ian? That was terminated the moment you walked back to that damn club” you spit out to him.

Oh, and you promised yourself personal feelings wouldn’t get in the way this time. Guess this was a failed attempt at that.

He looked at you. “This is why I wanted to talk. You and Dabin jump to conclusions all by yourselves but you won’t hear me out first. How can you believe your side of the story when you haven’t heard mine yet?” He looked like a last puppy. He knew that if he didn’t talk about everything to you now, he probably would never get the chance again.

You didn’t say anything. Stubbornly looking to the floor, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

“I didn’t fuck Yura. I never have. I also never intended to” He says articulating every word to his best ability.

You look up to him. His eyes almost screamed at you, trying to get you to understand with just the look of his eyes.

“I swear y/n I would never do that to you.” He says taking a step closer to you.

You pinch your eyes closed looking to the ground, when he softly takes a hold of your hand.

“No!” you yell at him, yanking your hand out of his grip.

“You can’t just do that!” you yell letting your guard down.

Here come the waterworks.

Tears start to prickle your eyes when you look at him again. He took a step back without realizing, giving you some much needed space, still startled at your rejection.

“You have been fucking me up for months now Christian. This is not me being mad at what happened last weekend, this is me finally realizing I should have been mad at you all this time.” You say with a breaking voice. Even you acknowledged how sad and broken you sounded.

“I was going to come here, give you back those fucking shoes and get out of that fucking contract so I would never have to see your god damn face again.” Your voice cracked multiple times. Tears were flowing down your cheeks now. As you noticed you wiped your face with your sleeve, closing your eyes at the second hand embarrassment of crying in front of him again. You promised yourself you would keep it together at least once.

Christian just stood there, looking at you not knowing what to do. He wanted to touch, hug and kiss you so bad. He wanted to tell you that your tears were all for nothing. That everything was going to be okay. But he also realized that he had broken you, without knowing he did.

Of course he knew that having all of these meaningless sexual relationships with different women would catch up to him eventually. He only did it to feel less lonely. He had you, but not in the way he wished to have you. Contracts and being in the public eye complicated that wish for the both of you. But Christian was never the type to deal with his emotions the healthy way. He’d try anything to forget his feelings for you, not knowing it would end up hurting you as much as it did.

“Y/n I-” he starts, but you don’t let him finish.

“I was going to leave here, feeling content with myself for once but then you had to go and try to touch me again.” You say crossing your arms. Giving him an angry look with tears in your eyes, just standing there in the middle of his living room.

“Y/n please just don’t do this.” He says cautiously taking a step towards you again.

He sounded sad, and tired. Tired of this mess. The two of you were a toxic cocktail when not blended well, but a fucking match made in heaven if everything would have just worked out.

You cover your face with your hands. Crying into the sleeves of your black sweater not knowing how to get yourself together anymore.

He means too much to you. So much that it hurts.

He grabbed your wrists, pulling you into the tightest and warmest embrace he could give you. It was a risky thing to do on his end, but he didn’t know what else to do at this point anymore.

His body emitted a warmth you felt save in. A warmth that could make you feel relaxed at all times, a warmth that felt like home. Even though you knew you had to be strong, your mind doesn’t know how to resist anymore.

You were so tired, stressed and overworked. Your last descent meal was that damn macaroni and cheese, and your last good night sleep was probably almost two weeks ago.

He held you while you bawled like a baby. Unable to move or push him off of you. “Y/n I’m so, so incredibly sorry” he whispers while caressing your hair.

“You know me better than anyone y/n. You know I never had the intention to hurt you I’m just a fucking idiot sometimes” he says with his chin resting on the top of your head.

Your arms were now wrapped around him while you held him close, resting your head onto his chest listening to the soft thuds of his heartbeat as silence surrounded the both of you when you finally stopped sobbing.

After a while he slightly loosened the grip he had on you, taking your face into his hands inspecting it thoroughly. You had bags under your tired eyes which were red from crying. You looked pale, your lips were slightly chapped and your cheeks had sunken in a little.

He sighed and kissed your forehead while you still had your eyes closed.

“Let me take care of you a little before you hear me out okay?” he whispers caressing your cheeks with his thumbs

You nod and let him take your hand to lead you to his couch. You sit down, looking around. His suitcase from his trip to Peru was still in the middle of his living room floor, nothing unpacked except for toiletries. You sighed at the sight. It has been weeks. I guess his mind is in the same mess as yours is right now. Suddenly you feel bad for being here and being as cold as you were when you first entered.

A soft thud on the couch made you look up. Next to you Lori had joined you, laying down beside you, knowing you would always pet her. You smiled slightly at the sight of the dog cuddling up to you.

“How have you been girl” you ask petting her head. She just gives you a look and closes her eyes after, as if she was trying to tell you she was tired. “Same girl” you say shaking her paw as if you were shaking hands with her.

Christian returned with a glass of water and an ibuprofen.

“Take this” he says. “Your head must be pounding.”

You nod, taking it from him. You had missed these surroundings. Watching movies all night on the couch with Christian and Lori, or the so called ‘weird Wednesdays’ when you’d try to cook something together that you’ve never had before. Coming here was a good decision, even though it didn’t go as planned, at least now you realize that cutting ties with him completely without talking first wouldn’t resolve anything.

You still desperately wanted things to go back to normal, but you just didn’t know how at this point.

Giving you some space he sat on the opposite end of the couch, looking at you as if you were going to disappear at any second.

His eyes were glued on you and he studied every move you made when you took the medicine, flushing it away with the cold water and putting the glass down on his coffee table.

You brought your knees up to your chest, making yourself less vulnerable and more comfortable.

You finally collected the courage to look at his face. He was beautiful as always. He looked tired, but still effortlessly attractive.

You sigh still looking at him, resting your head on the top of the couch.

“Stay here tonight” he finally says.

You looked at him and shook your head.

“It’s pouring outside, and it’s late. Just stay” he says again. A little more determined this time.

“I really can’t.” you voice sounded raspy, raspier than you thought. You clear your throat and stare out the window.

“I won’t melt in the rain; besides I drove here so I should be fine” you say.

Both of you were just avoiding the obvious subject that needed to be spoken off.

“Still it’s dangerous” he says.

“Christian…” you sigh closing your eyes. Even though you had stayed over plenty of times, This just wasn’t going to happen now. He knew you’d never stay, not after everything that happened.

“Fine, at least stay until the rain slows or stops alright?” He says getting up. “I’ll fix up something to eat in the meantime. You look like a zombie.” He says giving you a sarcastic smile, walking to his kitchen.

You watch him open his fridge and inspect the contents. “Always so subtle with your choice of words Mr. Yu” you say getting up, leaving Lori’s sleeping state on the couch.

He didn’t pay much attention to you. He was lost in thought. Searching through his fridge for an egg and some spring onions to make you some ramyeon.

You walked towards his bathroom, opening the door and taking a look at yourself in the mirror.

You looked like shit. Absolute shit.

Your tired red eyes were even puffier than before. Your lips were chapped and your complexion looked lifeless with your sunken cheeks.

You turn on the faucet, splashing some cold water in your face. You pat you face dry with a towel and pinch your cheeks for some extra blood circulation. You also decide to steal his lip balm and apply some of it. You already looked a lot more alive with such little effort. You sigh looking at yourself one last time.

You stretch out, lost in thought when your eyes wander to see the door connected to his bedroom crooked open just enough to see inside of his bedroom.

You figured it’d be a mess as always, but as you look around your eyes stop at the sight of a female sleeping in his bed.

Your movements froze, and so did your heart.

Kim fucking Yura.

A/N: Don’t hate me :) 

Chapter 4 

Parwez (age 15)

“I come from Nangarhar in Afghanistan.

I’m travelling with my cousin - it’s just the two of us now. I’m 15 and my cousin is 16. My father was with us too, but we lost him on the way, in the forest on the border between Iran and Turkey. The police fired on us, and I don’t know where my father went. After that, we moved on to Bulgaria and to Serbia.

My father always told me: ‘You have to be strong because the way that we are going is very hard. Your life is in danger, you have to leave Afghanistan.’

We’ve been here in Belgrade for 12 days. We’re sleeping in an old train station, in a big hall. It’s not good at all, it’s too smoky. We don’t have clean water to drink. At 1PM, volunteers come and give us food, and sometimes we also eat eggs.

Before we left, my father said: ‘There’s no peace here, there’s only war, that’s why we have to go.’

My father had been to France before his job. When we left, I expected that we’d go to France and that there’d be no war.

I feel like I don’t have any chance. I told the authorities that I want to go to one of the camps [in Serbia]. They told me that I can go to a closed camp, but I don’t want to live like that. I’d like to go to an open camp.

The way we have been treated makes me feel really sad. I don’t like politicians – it’s because of politicians that we are stuck here.

It wasn’t a good situation in Bulgaria. The police came, and they beat me. Here in Serbia, a lot of organisations are helping us. But the weather is too cold.

My family are still in Afghanistan. Sometimes I talk to them on the phone.

I’m really sad now because my mother isn’t here, I don’t have my family, it’s not a good life. When I sleep at night, I always cry. I say to my cousin: ‘Where is my mother, where is my father, where is my family?’”


Big Ol’ List of Song Lyric Starters
  • “Carried Away” – Passion Pit
    • Listen, I don’t really know you, and I don’t think I want to; (Optional: “but I think I can fake it if you can.”)
    • Yes, please don’t ever note me as your friend.
  • “Fine By Me” – Andy Grammer
    • Darling, believe me, I’m as skeptical as you.
  • “The Moon Song” – Karen O
    • There’s no thing I’d keep from you.
    • But with you my dear, I’m safe and we’re a million miles away.
  • “Elastic Heart” – Sia
    • Oh why can I not conquer love?
    • Yeah, let’s be clear, I’ll trust no one.
  • “You’ve Got Time” – Regina Spektor 
    • Everything is different the second time around.
    • Taking steps is easy; standing still is hard.
  • “Head On” – Man Man
    • Hold on to your heart.
    • Are you always so restless?
  • “Name” – Goo Goo Dolls
    • I think about you all the time, but I don’t need the same.
    • It’s lonely where you are.
    • Come back down, and I won’t tell ‘em your name.
    • We don’t belong to no one, that’s a shame.
    • You could hide beside me, maybe for a while.
  • “Migraine” – Twenty One Pilots
    • Sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head.
    • I do not have writer’s block, my writer just hates the clock.
    • I guess I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
    • But I know we’ve made it this far, kid.
    • I am not as fine as I seem; pardon.
    • 'Cause sometimes to stay alive you got to kill your mind.
  • “Stolen Dance” – Milky Chance
    • I want you by my side, so that I never feel alone again. 
    • We need to fetch back the time they have stolen from us. 
    • Shouldn’t talk about it. 
    • I cannot find the way out of here.
    • We don’t talk about it.  
  • “You And I” – Ingrid Michaelson
    • Maybe I think you’re cute and funny.
    • Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you, if you know what I mean.
    • Let’s get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance.
    • Well, you might be a bit confused.
  • “Counting Stars” – One Republic
    • I’ve been losing sleep, dreaming about the things that we could be.
    •  No more counting dollars, we’ll be counting stars.
    • I feel something so wrong doing the right thing.
    • I feel something so right doing the wrong thing.
    •  Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.
  • “Volatile Times” – IAMX
    • Look at me, what have I become?
    • I must leave you now, but I will remember the ups and the downs.
    • I just want to turn the lights on in these volatile times.
    • Goodbye my friends, goodbye to the money.
    • But I’m so tired.
  • “Beat the Devil’s Tattoo” – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
    • You have forsaken all the love you’ve taken.
    • There is no peace here.
    • War is never cheap, dear.
    • Love will never meet here; it just gets sold for parts.
  • “Roll the Bones” – Shakey Graves
    • Yeah, so it goes.
    • Oh, take a chance and roll the bones.
    • But who’s to blame?
    • Yeah, try to forget all your enemies and debts, they’ll only chase you down and give you sour dreams.
    • They say someday everybody dies alone; but hey, who knows?
  • “Girl With One Eye” – Florence + the Machine
    • But now she sleeps with one eye open. (Optional: “that’s the price she paid.”)
    • Well, she’s lucky that I didn’t slip her a smile.
    • I’ll cut your little heart out ‘cause you made me cry.
    • Oh, my reputation’s kinda clouded with dirt.
    • You made me cry.
  • “Obstacles” – Syd Matters
    • We played hide and seek in waterfalls… we were younger.
    • Someday, we will foresee obstacles.
  • “In My Mind” – Amanda Palmer
    • I am not exactly the person that I thought I’d be.
    • And it’s funny how I imagined that I would be that person now.
    • I’ll never be the person that I thought I’d be.
    • I’m so busy with everything that I don’t look at anything.
    • That’s not what I want, but that’s what I wanted.
    • I don’t wanna be the person that I want to be.
    • I imagine so many things, things that aren’t really happening.
    • I still have a tattoo to get.
    • And when they put me in the ground, I’ll start pounding the lid.
    • But maybe it isn’t all that funny that I’ve been fighting all my life.
    • (Optional: “Fuck yes,”) I am exactly the person that I want to be.
  • “Crosses” – Jose Gonzalez
    • We’ll cast some light and you’ll be alright for now.
    • Ignore them tonight and you’ll be alright.
    • Don’t you know that I’ll be around to guide you?
  • “To All of You” – Syd Matters 
    • It’s sad to imagine a world without you.
    • I’d like to be part of the world around you.
    • No one can tell where your heart is.
    • I cry sometimes walking around my own place.
  • “Mt. Washington” – Local Natives
    • I don’t have to see you right now.
    • Or we could wash the dirt off our hands now.
  • “Glass Walls” – Nik Ammar
    • Do you believe in destiny and faith?
    • Do you say now or never or never too late?
  • “Lua” – Bright Eyes
    • I know that it is freezing but I think we have to walk.
    • When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend.
    • The love I sell you in the evening, by the morning won’t exist.
    • But what’s so easy in the evening, by the morning is such a drag.
    • Well it takes one to know one, kid, I think you’ve got it bad.
    • If you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same.
    • It’s not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live.
    • ‘Cause what is simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is.
  • “Do I Wanna Know?” – Arctic Monkeys
    • Are there some aces up your sleeve?
    • Have you no idea that you’re in deep?
    • I dreamt about you nearly every night this week.
    • Sad to see you go, was sort of hoping that you’d stay.
    • Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few? (Optional: “’Cause I always do.”)
    • I’m sorry to interrupt, it’s just I’m constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you.
  • “New Ceremony” – Dry the River
    • I know it’s gotta stop love, but I don’t know how.
    • But we’re good at bad ideas, my love.
    • Don’t wrestle with the night.
    • Don’t think about the future now.
  • “Whistle for the Choir” – The Fratellis
    • Can never be too pretty, tell me your name.
    • So if you’re lonely, why’d you say you’re not lonely?
    • It’s just like you to come and go.
    • A girl like you’s just irresistible.
    • But it’s as much as I can do, you know, to figure you out.
    • And I must confess, my heart’s in broken pieces and my head’s a mess.
  • “Youth” – Daughter
    • Most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
    • We are the reckless, we are the wild youth.
    • That one will die before he gets there.
    • Most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone.
    • We’re setting fire to our insides for fun.
    • It was a flood that wrecked this home.
    • And if you’re in love, then you are the lucky one. 
    • But I’m forever missing him.
  • “Again and Again” – Tessa Rose Jackson
    • Pack your bags, we’ll leave tonight.
    • You know we’ll go.
    • Where we go, we go at night.
  • “Catch & Release” – Matt Simons
    • There’s a place I go to where no one knows me.
    • Find out what I’m made of.
    • Everybody got their way.
  • “All My Days” – Alexi Murdoch
    • What am I doing here, all of these days?
    • It’s you I’m looking for.
    • And it seems you’ve found me.
    • Now even breathing feels all right.
Carry On Bucky Barnes x Reader

Sooooo this is my first short, if you are going to comment please be honest but gentle pleaseeeeeeee

So some background on your character:

  • She is a Mutant like Logan (Wolverine) has healing factor like him as well as some other power (not used here)
  • She knew Steve and Bucky in the 40s (the three of them were BFFs)
  • She fell in love with Bucky
  • A year after Steve and Bucky “Died” HYDRA caught her and turned her into the Winter Soldier’s Partner
  • Winter Soldier and Y/N fell in love and tried to escape, ending with HYDRA making Soldier kill her
  • Y/N didn’t die came back to life tired to find Soldier but thought he was dead so she went and lived with Howard

Sooooo yep there it is - The is the tempo the song is going to
*Russian text done with google translate*

Characters: Steve, Clint, Natasha 
Pairing: Bucky x Reader 
Word Count: 1505

It is a simple mission, just a normal “get in, get info and get the hell out” kind of mission. Steve was on board with it, he knew I could handle myself. Bucky on the other hand… he is a little more reluctant to let me go. I am packing in my room, making sure I have everything I need while Bucky and Steve are sitting on my bed watching me pack, well Steve is making sure I won’t forget anything, Bucky was just pouting
Steve: Got your Katana?
Y/N: yes mother, god you are worse than Tony
We both let out a small laugh, both glancing at Bucky to see if he cracked a smile. Nothing. I look at Steve and he shrugs and gets off the bed.
Steve: I’ll go see if Clint is ready to leave
I nod mentally thanking Steve, he gives me a nod back and leaves the room. I zip up my bag and Bucky finally spoke
Bucky: you shouldn’t go
Y/N: Buck I’ll be fine, it is a simple mission
Bucky: but you are going in alone
Y/N: I’ve done that plenty of times before Buck
I sit on the bed in front of him and he moves forward letting his head rest on my shoulder. Even though this is a normal thing for us it doesn’t fail to make my heart skip a beat every time, even back in the 40’s
Y/N: what’s wrong Buck?
I run my hand though his hair waiting for him to answer
Bucky: it’s just a bad feeling. I can’t place it but it feels like we have been here before
I almost froze in place. The thing is that we have been in this place before. Years ago, while we were both stuck in HYDRA. It was the same moment before we were caught escaping and Bucky was forced to kill me. I still have the bullet scar from that night, I still lived with that memory of watching them dragging him away from me tears running down his face.
Me: I will be find Buck, I have Clint and Natasha as back up
He pulls away from me and looks me in the eyes, those beautiful ice blue meeting my (Y/E/C)
Bucky: быть безопасным (Be safe)
I smile and kiss his cheek
Y/N: YA vsegda (I always am)
Bucky gives me a small smile and I climb off the bed
Y/N: I will see you soon Soldier
I grab my bag and walk out of the room
*Four Days later on the Quinn Jet back to the Tower*
The mission went well I got out without a scratch… okay that is a lie I have a graze on my side and a clean through and through bullet wound on my left shoulder. Natasha patched me up pretty good until Bruce can get to me.
Natasha: soooo when are you gonna tell Barnes?
Y/N: what are you talking about Natalia?
She gives me a small smirk
Natasha: that you love him? That you still love him
I let out a sigh and let my hand run through my hair before I look at her
Y/N: never
Natasha: but Y/N –
Y/N: Natalia no. he doesn’t remember me and it is better he doesn’t remember that part of his life
I look to the floor of the jet
Y/N: it will be easier for him not to
Natasha doesn’t say a word, just reaches out and squeezes my hand than gets up and goes over to Clint. I watch them talk and I can’t help but feel a little jealous, the two of them had each other they made it through everything the world through at them. I let out a sigh and lean back, we should be back in less than an hour, a little nap wouldn’t hurt. I close my eyes and level out my breathing. All of a sudden my phone goes off, not the avengers one, my personal one. I quickly answer it
Y/N: hello?
Jarvis: hello Ms Y/L/N, I am very sorry to disturb you but Captain Rogers needs to speak to you immediately, it is concerning Sergeant Barnes
Y/N: Put him through J
Within seconds Steve is on the line
Steve: Y/N! its Bucky
Y/N: What is going on?
Steve: he is having a panic attack… Y/N he thinks you are dead
My eyes go wide
Y/N: how did this start? He knew we were on the way back
Steve: he was reader his old HYDRA file to get some memories back… Y/N he found you
Everything made sense the minute Steve said that, he remembered the time he shot me and he can’t get out of it. How can I get him out of it, we are still at least 15 minutes away. Then it hits me
Y/N: Jarvis
Jarvis: yes Ms. Y/L/N
Y/N: put my on speaker in that room
Jarvis: yes Ms. Y/L/N
I wait for a few seconds
Steve: you’re on Y/N
Y/N: Bucky, love I need you to listen to me okay? I am coming home I am okay. I’m coming back to you
Steve: nothing Y/N
I take a deep breath and close my eyes and get up and go over to Clint, I keep talking trying my best to talk him out of it. I sign to Clint to Step on it and he nods. I take one more deep breath and sing
Y/N: Carry on my wayward son/ there’ll be peace when you are done/ lay your weary head to rest/ don’t you cry no more
I move to the door waiting for us to land listening and hoping this will work
Y/N: Once I rose above the noise and confusion/ just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion/ I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
I start to hear his breathing even out
Y/N: Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man/ Though my mind could think I still was a mad man/ I hear the voices when I’m dreaming I can hear them say
I hear Tony entering the room, I know he loved this song too
Tony: I haven’t heard this in years
Y/N: Carry on my wayward son/ there’ll be peace when you are done/ lay your weary head to rest/ don’t you cry no more
I hear Natasha whispering to Clint but I don’t pay too much attention to it
Y/N: Masquerading as a man with a reason/ My charade is the event of the season/And if I claim to be a wise man Well, it surely means that I don’t know
I hear Bruce
Bruce: that is beautiful
Y/N: On a stormy sea of moving emotion/Tossed about, I’m like a ship on the ocean/ I set a course for winds of fortune,But I hear the voices say
I start to tap my feet, I need to be there
Y/N: Carry on my wayward son/ there’ll be peace when you are done/ lay your weary head to rest/ don’t you cry no more
I hum the rythme a little as Clint lands the jet. Once he opens the door I blot out running towards Bucky and the others Still singing.
Y/N: Carry on, You will always remember Carry on,/ Nothing equals the splendor/ Now your life’s no longer empty Surely heaven waits for you
Once I reach the room I see Bucky in the corner of the room his knees pulled to his chest his eyes red and puffy, tear stains on his cheek Steve sitting beside him. I turn off my phone and walk towards him finishing the song, he looks up and he gets up with Steve helping him
Y/N: Carry on my wayward son/ There’ll be peace when you are done/ Lay your weary head to rest/Don’t you cry, Don’t you cry no more
The minute I finish the song, Bucky runs over to me and almost tackles me into a hug hiding his face in the crook of my neck. I can feel fresh new tears falling from his face
Bucky: I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!
Y/N: hush love, it is okay it is in the past now. I’m here, I’m with you
He pulls back and looks at me. I open my mouth to say something, but he doesn’t give me a chance. Instead he attacks my lips with his with a needy but loving kiss. I am shocked for a few seconds but kiss him back with the same neediness and love he was giving me. Once we break apart he rest his forehead on mine
Bucky: I love you
I smile and give out a small chuckle
Y/N:I love you too Bucky
I quickly take his hand and drag him away up to my room
Bucky: where are we going?
Y/N: bedroom. I need sleep and you need cuddles

Extended ending
Tony: Jarvis?
Jarvis: yes sir
Tony: did you record her
Jarvis: yes sir
Thor: I was not aware that lady Y/N has such a beautiful voice
Steve Chuckles and everyone looks at him
Steve: They never change

Awed - 7 :F:

BTS - V (Taehyung) series
Warnings : Contains mature content, also slang words.
Genre : Angst,fluff,smut, all mixed up XD

You could’ve heard to Taehyung’s explanations but now there was not a single ounce of mercy left for him after you heard him and his mother bickering. Hearing the phrase of even ‘You know you have to pay back if she won’t agree’ ‘So much money can’t be gifted for free, okay?’, the money Taehyung had lend to my father in exchange of me also intern ship in his company.

Taehyung had been a suspicious one since the start you had known him. He would enjoy peace in a corner even in the parties. Just that he opened up a bit to the group he is with now, Jimin, Jungkook and the others. He is a rebel. Complete troublemaker but also a smart-ass.

Quietly sitting in your library you tried to forget all the mess in your head. 

“Get out!” you shouted as you heard the door click open and without seeing you could tell who it was.

“Hear me out please.” Taehyung whispered.

“Won’t change a thing.Try your luck anyways” you muttered.

“Give me a chance like you do to these.” He said brushing his hands on the books arranged in front of you. “Come here” he said motioning you to join him at the ‘romance’ section.

“These are your life aren’t they?” he asked with a smile.

You just nodded in agreement. These books had been with you every time. The peace you used to find in this room being surrounded with them. Not just romance but mystery , horror, your fantasies.

“Aren’t you now in ‘kiss the angel? Just like daisy wondering arranged marriages don’t happen in this modern world so how did she end up in this fix” he smiled. “Like his fiancée Alex is a soulless man, I am too, more like used to because he gets a partner who has a beautiful heart.”

You just stared at him in awe as he continued.

“Like the ‘age of innocence Archer was torn between duty and passion. My dad is too.”
“Now you might be wondering that we are like Charles and Sophy from ‘Grand Sophy’ getting married to solve the family stuff but I assure you it’s love.” He whispered the last few words and continued.

“Like Persuasion’ you are being Anne and breaking the engagement with Wentworth due to some misleading from lady Russell, my mother is fitting for this one” he chuckled.

“Now that it is on guiding and misguiding, like ‘the phantom of opera’ Christine hears voices which eventually teaches her to sing, in our case watching you have taught me to live.” He was staring deep into your eyes. 

When did he even read these? You had seen him being all alone but not with a book. He also became a troublemaker but not a person like this.
the look in his eyes told he still had more to say.

“Take the place of Gilbert from The tenant of wildfell hall Gilbert offers his friendship but the the reclusive behaviour of the lady and the other gossips from people misplaces his trust on her. But when he reads her diary he gets to know her shocking past which eventually gets the trust back too.”

You still stared at him unable to answer, your mouth was agape as he sat on one knee and reached out his hand.

“Open the diary of my life. Read my past. Add me in your shelf like one of the book having unexpected turns and I’ll keep on making the happy little things possible.” 

Still not being able to get anything you say you stood still.

” Like ‘the princess bride we will have all the things, little fights , hate, the part we are onto” he chuckled and continued “ bad men, which is your father for you right now, beautiful woman , for me which you are, escapes, escapes from our misery, sadness all the bad things, death, as we will also grow old together, miracles, one will happen right now if you say yes, truth, which is the only thing I’ll speak from now on, mm a little sex” he smiled ”and most of all true love. Love that will last forever”

“Marry me?” he proposed staring deep in your eyes searching for an answer.

Did he just-?
You had a lot of questions popping up in your mind but the only way to find the answers to those were to accept him, open his diary of life, read it, make it a part of you, which you did by slowly lifting your hand and holding his which reached out to you.

Sorry for the short chapter
Always open for requests and suggestions :’)
Thank you all <3 

anyway 2015 is coming to a close and i just gotta say that this was one of the toughest yet necessary-for-my-growth years i’ve had since the unmentionable 2009 which says a lot. my anxiety reached new heights this summer and then later i met a guy who brought me a kind of calm not a lot of people do and told me shit like “i was meant to meet you” while he held me (bc i actually let someone touch me, when i usually don’t) and “it hurts to look at you” as he was saying goodbye a few days later after choosing the other girl. you go through days and nights that make you think you’ll never be calm/happy again, will never trust/open your heart up again but then you get a few days’ sleep and you listen to your favorite songs and you talk to your best friend and you give yourself pep talks in the shower and you go on. i don’t want to get too fake deep on here and i don’t know how hard everyone has it but what i can say is that staying alive is 100% worth the chance of being happy again. give it time and give yourself credit and find some peace. life is good peeps