Christian Yu x Reader: Let Me Explain - Chapter 3
Chapter 3: Confrontation
Word count: 3542
Series type: Angst, Smut (in later chapters) & Fluff.
Warnings: Mentions of sex and bad language.
Additional Characters: DPR LIVE (Dabin) and mentions of other artists/fictional characters.
Rough summary: Christian is your boss but also your best friend. You both have feelings for each other but his way of living complicates your relationship.
A/N: Thank you for all the nice comments on the second Chapter! It means a lot as it keeps motivating me to write the series. Also keep in mind that English is not my first language, therefore there could be some spelling/grammar mistakes.
3 Days total went by since that incident.
The amount of times Christian called or texted you was insane. What also drove you insane was the fact that every time you received a call or text from him, it made it harder for you not to cave in and answer already.
You weren’t even angry anymore, just sad. A sad mess.
You continued on your schedules as they were, knowing that your work was the only thing that could distract you.
You sit on your couch scrolling through your emails when you see that your schedule for the rest of the week has arrived. It was still new to you that your schedules were now managed by someone else. You had to admit it was easier this way, but still you had made up your mind on leaving DPR and buying out your contract.
Your eyes scan through the excel sheet and you frown. “No Kim Yura?” you whisper to yourself.
You called your manager to ask for clarification. He answered right away, as if he knew you’d call.
“Hello? y/n, you haven’t been to a meeting in a few days now, what are you up to?”
“Ah-yeah, Hi oppa, I’m just not feeling so well.” You lie adjusting your phone closer to your ear so you could hear him better.
“Oh, make sure to get some rest then y/n-ah, is there a reason behind your call?”
“Yes, ehm, I was wondering why all of my schedules with Kim Yura suddenly disappeared?”
“Oh, I thought Ian told you already. We dropped her completely. He told us that you found her too difficult to work with.” Your manager answered casually.
Your heart sank a little. Confused and taken aback by the news. Why would he do that?
“Wait, so it was Christian’s idea to drop her? What about her debut mv?” you ask, your body language gave away your alertness and curiosity.
“We’re not going through with the package deal anymore y/n-ah. I honestly don’t know why we won’t. It’d be huge for us, but Ian made his mind up, he just didn’t want to do it anymore. He said he wanted to focus more on CF’s and stuff.”
“That’s bullshit” you say under your breath furrowing your eyebrows
“Excuse me?” your manager asked, obviously hearing what you said.
“Ahh-nothing oppa, It’s nothing, thank you for the info. I know enough for now.”
“Alright, get well soon.” He dryly says, probably knowing you’re not sick at all.
“Thank you, will do” you say and hang up.
You stare at your phone in your hand for a moment. CF’s?
Christian wanting to focus more on CF’s was the biggest lie you have heard since three days ago.
What has gotten into him all of a sudden? He completely dropped her from your scheduling, meaning someone else was going to have to teach her how to dance, which also meant no DPR. It also meant that the mv deal must be off the tracks.
You let yourself fall back on the couch putting your hand to your forehead. Maybe you should just resign as quickly as possible so he can still recover the deal with YG and Yura.
You can’t let this petty personal situation come between something as big as this. Reeling in Yura was one of the best things that happened so far this year for the crew. Apart from all the underlying drama of course.
You’ve never disliked Christian more than you did right now, but you wish him and the rest of the crew well. And the though of him declining such a huge offer because of personal drama made you feel guilty. But why did it make you feel guilty? When all of it is his own fault?
Your thoughts frustrate you and you swear to god that you were about to scream until you heard the sound of your doorbell.
Maybe it was Dabin? He hadn’t contacted you since that day, you didn’t blame him. You figured he had enough of the situation as it was.
You reluctantly get up rubbing your eyes while walking to your front door. As you open it you see an unfamiliar face.
“Package for y/n-sshi” A tall looking guy said looking at you with a black expression.
“I didn’t order anything” you say giving him a confused look.
“It says ‘For miss y/n, are you miss y/n?” He asks annoyed.
“Well-yeah, but-” “Then this is yours” he says shoving the box into your hands. “Have a nice day” he says walking away.
Jesus, he was in a mood. Even though you wouldn’t be happy either if you had to deliver packages in the pouring rain, his attitude bothered you as you closed the door behind you. You walk to the kitchen area, sitting on a chair behind your bar inspecting the box in front of you.
You look at it and read the label connected to the plastic wrap which was wrapped around the entire thing.
“From Ian” it said.
You frown, is it your stuff that you forgot at his place? Is he cutting ties from you this time? Is that why he dropped Yura? So he can actually date her? Different thoughts go through your mind as you just stare at the box in front of you, not knowing what to expect when you’d see what’s inside of it.
You cut the plastic wrap across the box and carefully remove it. “Fragile” you read out loud as you remove the sticker as well.
You shake the box to hear a soft rumble and place the it down to open it.
“Holy shit.” You whisper to yourself. This might have been the last thing you expected.
You carefully lift the shoes out of the box as your jaw dropped.
Your nude Valentino pumps. Suddenly your mind flashed back to that night. That damn night where he had not only broken the heel of your shoe, but also your trust.
These looked different though, they looked like they were a lot more expensive than your old pair. You carefully inspect the pump, looking at the Swarovski crystal imbedded straps, carefully putting them back into the box, searching for something else.
There was a note.
“I told you I’d buy you new ones. Please take these as a peace offering. I beg you to give me a chance love. I know I have a lot of explaining to do.”
You bit your lip not knowing how to feel about this. Putting the shoes back into the box.
- time jump –
You barge into his house the second he opened the door, not making eye contact with him or even thinking of people being in his house. Luckily there weren’t any.
A startled Christian followed you. He hasn’t seen or spoken to you in 5 days. And for you to show up here unannounced was a very unlikely thing for you to do.
“Christian I can’t accept these” you say putting the shoe box down on his coffee table. You were nervous as hell. On the ride here you thought of a hundred different scenarios. What If Yura is there? What if another bitch was there? What if Dabin is there? Or one of his many famous friends?
You were relieved none of these scenarios came true, even though you had everything you wanted to say planned out already. Still, standing in front of him like this took balls from you. You hated confrontation, but you couldn’t avoid him forever.
Christian cautiously took a few steps closer to you and the coffee table where you had just put the shoe box down on.
“Why?” is all he could ask, giving you a look up and down. You know you didn’t look like you always looked. Sleeping was still an issue, and eating had become one of your new issues.
“Because, Christian. I googled the damn price and that’s just ridiculous.”
He shook his head picking up the box and shoving it into your hands again. “I told you I’d buy you new ones. So take it.”
“No, that doesn’t make sense, these are worth 3 times more than my old pair, I can’t accept them. End of story. But that’s not the reason why I came here in the first place” you say all in one breath.
“What is it? Are you finally here to talk to me?” he asks looking for answers into your eyes.
“Yes, but not about personal stuff.” You say crossing your arms.
It took everything you had not to run out of that door right then and there.
“Then what y/n?” he asks still confused at your odd behavior.
“I came here to return these” you say putting the box down on his coffee table again. His eyes quickly followed your movements but fixated back on your eyes again in a split second.
“And to tell you that I want out. I’m going to buy out the contract Ian. I don’t want this anymore.”
He fell quiet. Looking at the ground. You couldn’t read any emotion from his posture or face. He just sighed and looked up, meeting your eyes once again.
He stayed quiet for a little while longer, making your insides turn once again. The silence was cutting you in half. So you decided to speak up first.
“I’ll have the money ready in a week, maybe it’s not too late to contact Yura’s management. Maybe you can still get the deal.” You say determined.
“No.” he simply says walking to his couch and sitting down. He leaned his elbows on his thighs to support his head. His hands clamped onto his messy hair in frustration.
“I’ll terminate the fucking contract. You don’t have to buy that shit out, y/n that’s ridiculous, I also don’t give a fuck about that deal anymore. It cost me the most precious thing I had.” He says looking up to you again.
What was that look on his face? Was he…hurt. Did he mean you?
“That’s not what I signed for.” You simply said, steering the conversation back into the planned direction, keeping your emotions in check while trying not to break your professional composure.
“Cut the crap please. Why are you acting like this!? Talk to me like you’re a person with actual feelings, not like a programmed robot” he yells at you getting up.
His sudden outburst scared you but you made sure not to break, fearlessly looking straight into his dark sparkling eyes.
“Don’t yell at me” you softly say, having a more and more difficult time to suppress your emotions.
“Terminating the contract also means terminating our relationship doesn’t it.” He says looking straight at you.
“What relationship Ian? That was terminated the moment you walked back to that damn club” you spit out to him.
Oh, and you promised yourself personal feelings wouldn’t get in the way this time. Guess this was a failed attempt at that.
He looked at you. “This is why I wanted to talk. You and Dabin jump to conclusions all by yourselves but you won’t hear me out first. How can you believe your side of the story when you haven’t heard mine yet?” He looked like a last puppy. He knew that if he didn’t talk about everything to you now, he probably would never get the chance again.
You didn’t say anything. Stubbornly looking to the floor, avoiding eye contact at all costs.
“I didn’t fuck Yura. I never have. I also never intended to” He says articulating every word to his best ability.
You look up to him. His eyes almost screamed at you, trying to get you to understand with just the look of his eyes.
“I swear y/n I would never do that to you.” He says taking a step closer to you.
You pinch your eyes closed looking to the ground, when he softly takes a hold of your hand.
“No!” you yell at him, yanking your hand out of his grip.
“You can’t just do that!” you yell letting your guard down.
Here come the waterworks.
Tears start to prickle your eyes when you look at him again. He took a step back without realizing, giving you some much needed space, still startled at your rejection.
“You have been fucking me up for months now Christian. This is not me being mad at what happened last weekend, this is me finally realizing I should have been mad at you all this time.” You say with a breaking voice. Even you acknowledged how sad and broken you sounded.
“I was going to come here, give you back those fucking shoes and get out of that fucking contract so I would never have to see your god damn face again.” Your voice cracked multiple times. Tears were flowing down your cheeks now. As you noticed you wiped your face with your sleeve, closing your eyes at the second hand embarrassment of crying in front of him again. You promised yourself you would keep it together at least once.
Christian just stood there, looking at you not knowing what to do. He wanted to touch, hug and kiss you so bad. He wanted to tell you that your tears were all for nothing. That everything was going to be okay. But he also realized that he had broken you, without knowing he did.
Of course he knew that having all of these meaningless sexual relationships with different women would catch up to him eventually. He only did it to feel less lonely. He had you, but not in the way he wished to have you. Contracts and being in the public eye complicated that wish for the both of you. But Christian was never the type to deal with his emotions the healthy way. He’d try anything to forget his feelings for you, not knowing it would end up hurting you as much as it did.
“Y/n I-” he starts, but you don’t let him finish.
“I was going to leave here, feeling content with myself for once but then you had to go and try to touch me again.” You say crossing your arms. Giving him an angry look with tears in your eyes, just standing there in the middle of his living room.
“Y/n please just don’t do this.” He says cautiously taking a step towards you again.
He sounded sad, and tired. Tired of this mess. The two of you were a toxic cocktail when not blended well, but a fucking match made in heaven if everything would have just worked out.
You cover your face with your hands. Crying into the sleeves of your black sweater not knowing how to get yourself together anymore.
He means too much to you. So much that it hurts.
He grabbed your wrists, pulling you into the tightest and warmest embrace he could give you. It was a risky thing to do on his end, but he didn’t know what else to do at this point anymore.
His body emitted a warmth you felt save in. A warmth that could make you feel relaxed at all times, a warmth that felt like home. Even though you knew you had to be strong, your mind doesn’t know how to resist anymore.
You were so tired, stressed and overworked. Your last descent meal was that damn macaroni and cheese, and your last good night sleep was probably almost two weeks ago.
He held you while you bawled like a baby. Unable to move or push him off of you. “Y/n I’m so, so incredibly sorry” he whispers while caressing your hair.
“You know me better than anyone y/n. You know I never had the intention to hurt you I’m just a fucking idiot sometimes” he says with his chin resting on the top of your head.
Your arms were now wrapped around him while you held him close, resting your head onto his chest listening to the soft thuds of his heartbeat as silence surrounded the both of you when you finally stopped sobbing.
After a while he slightly loosened the grip he had on you, taking your face into his hands inspecting it thoroughly. You had bags under your tired eyes which were red from crying. You looked pale, your lips were slightly chapped and your cheeks had sunken in a little.
He sighed and kissed your forehead while you still had your eyes closed.
“Let me take care of you a little before you hear me out okay?” he whispers caressing your cheeks with his thumbs
You nod and let him take your hand to lead you to his couch. You sit down, looking around. His suitcase from his trip to Peru was still in the middle of his living room floor, nothing unpacked except for toiletries. You sighed at the sight. It has been weeks. I guess his mind is in the same mess as yours is right now. Suddenly you feel bad for being here and being as cold as you were when you first entered.
A soft thud on the couch made you look up. Next to you Lori had joined you, laying down beside you, knowing you would always pet her. You smiled slightly at the sight of the dog cuddling up to you.
“How have you been girl” you ask petting her head. She just gives you a look and closes her eyes after, as if she was trying to tell you she was tired. “Same girl” you say shaking her paw as if you were shaking hands with her.
Christian returned with a glass of water and an ibuprofen.
“Take this” he says. “Your head must be pounding.”
You nod, taking it from him. You had missed these surroundings. Watching movies all night on the couch with Christian and Lori, or the so called ‘weird Wednesdays’ when you’d try to cook something together that you’ve never had before. Coming here was a good decision, even though it didn’t go as planned, at least now you realize that cutting ties with him completely without talking first wouldn’t resolve anything.
You still desperately wanted things to go back to normal, but you just didn’t know how at this point.
Giving you some space he sat on the opposite end of the couch, looking at you as if you were going to disappear at any second.
His eyes were glued on you and he studied every move you made when you took the medicine, flushing it away with the cold water and putting the glass down on his coffee table.
You brought your knees up to your chest, making yourself less vulnerable and more comfortable.
You finally collected the courage to look at his face. He was beautiful as always. He looked tired, but still effortlessly attractive.
You sigh still looking at him, resting your head on the top of the couch.
“Stay here tonight” he finally says.
You looked at him and shook your head.
“It’s pouring outside, and it’s late. Just stay” he says again. A little more determined this time.
“I really can’t.” you voice sounded raspy, raspier than you thought. You clear your throat and stare out the window.
“I won’t melt in the rain; besides I drove here so I should be fine” you say.
Both of you were just avoiding the obvious subject that needed to be spoken off.
“Still it’s dangerous” he says.
“Christian…” you sigh closing your eyes. Even though you had stayed over plenty of times, This just wasn’t going to happen now. He knew you’d never stay, not after everything that happened.
“Fine, at least stay until the rain slows or stops alright?” He says getting up. “I’ll fix up something to eat in the meantime. You look like a zombie.” He says giving you a sarcastic smile, walking to his kitchen.
You watch him open his fridge and inspect the contents. “Always so subtle with your choice of words Mr. Yu” you say getting up, leaving Lori’s sleeping state on the couch.
He didn’t pay much attention to you. He was lost in thought. Searching through his fridge for an egg and some spring onions to make you some ramyeon.
You walked towards his bathroom, opening the door and taking a look at yourself in the mirror.
You looked like shit. Absolute shit.
Your tired red eyes were even puffier than before. Your lips were chapped and your complexion looked lifeless with your sunken cheeks.
You turn on the faucet, splashing some cold water in your face. You pat you face dry with a towel and pinch your cheeks for some extra blood circulation. You also decide to steal his lip balm and apply some of it. You already looked a lot more alive with such little effort. You sigh looking at yourself one last time.
You stretch out, lost in thought when your eyes wander to see the door connected to his bedroom crooked open just enough to see inside of his bedroom.
You figured it’d be a mess as always, but as you look around your eyes stop at the sight of a female sleeping in his bed.
Your movements froze, and so did your heart.
Kim fucking Yura.
A/N: Don’t hate me :)