give me your eyes i need sunshine

6

Precisely 10 minutes later, you heard several gentle knocks at your door. As you let a small exhale escape your lips, you got up from your couch after muting the television and made your way over to the door - looking through your peep hole to see Jinyoung on the other side, waiting patiently for you to let him in - physically and emotionally.

“(Y/N), it’s me. Open the door, please?”

You rolled your eyes in defeat. It was true that you had fallen in love with Jinyoung in the most beautiful way possible - everything about him was perfect to you. Even his flaws that he always so desperately tried to improve upon or change, you loved every single inch of the man he had come to be. But you were so petrified that one day, the things you love about him would turn into the things you hate the most; as it did with your parents.

Waving a white flag in your mind, you took the chain off your door and opened it slowly, revealing yourself in your comfortable sweatpants and baggy t-shirt - your hair tied up and in the messiest possible bun on your day off. Even with the sombre mood of your previous conversation, Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile when he seen your face; so soft and beautiful to him that he wanted nothing more than to litter it with his kisses over and over.

“Come in then” you said as you stepped back, watching him enter before closing the door behind him and turning to walk back over to the couch - but before you could, you felt his hand gently grab your wrist and pull you into him, flush against his chest.

“I’m sorry that your parents put you through that. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through” he whispered softly in your ear, his voice laced with compassion and understanding while his arms went underneath yours, embracing you around your waist as you felt your heart slam from inside your chest. You closed your eyes tight, trying with every fibre of your being to not cry - but as he began rubbing the small of your back with such tenderness and feeling how close he was to you in that moment, you couldn’t help but open the flood gates once again to your sadness and the memories of growing up in such an unhappy household.

You snaked your arms up and over his shoulders, feeling him hug you even tighter as you sobbed into his neck while he pulled you as close as he could get you. “I’m sorry Jinyoung” you murmured, not knowing what else to say to him without breaking down completely.

“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s not your fault, hmm?” he leaned back slightly to look at you in his arms, “You didn’t ask for any of that to happen, so you’ve no need to apologise” his words were soft and gentle as he raised your chin with his finger tips, staring deep into your eyes and making you think that he could see right into your soul.

“If you give me the chance, I want to teach you what love really means, (Y/N). Love isn’t always sunshine and rainbows - things do get tough, I won’t lie to you. But it’s the tough things that make two people bond closer together. But you can’t fall in love if you’re not prepared to fall at all”.

As the moments passed, and as your sobbing ceased - you let his words echo your mind while you processed your entire childhood in a matter of minutes.

“I’m just so scared of us falling apart like my parents did. I don’t want to lose you because…you’re the only person I’ve ever felt this way about.”

Jinyoung took your head in his hands, resting his lips on your forehead as he gifted you one, chaste kiss before pulling back and giving you a warm smile - the kind of smile he always gave you when you needed comforting, when you needed consoling.

“You’re the only person I’ve ever felt this way about too. Which is why no matter how hard you push me away, I’ll never leave. Because I know the truth now and I’m not letting you go. Don’t let your past stop you from having a future with someone you love…with me..” he trailed off as he leaned into your face. You felt your breath catch itself in your throat, before closing your eyes and feeling his lips on yours - giving you sweet and loving kisses that you’d always craved but been too terrified to experience before. As he kissed you, you completely forgot about your parents hatred for each other, your fear of love and your indifference about completely exposing your soul to Jinyoung - and for the first time in your life, you weren’t afraid to let your true feelings for him bleed out as you reflected your pent up affections back to him despite your tears - and as you both opened your eyes to each other, you let his favourite smile paint your lips for what felt like the first time in too long.

“There she is - the woman I love” he smiled back at you.

Goodbye [Words Pt 2] (Philip Hamilton x Reader)

Requested by: A few people who wanted a sequel!
Prompt: N/A
Warnings: Breakups, Cheating
Y/N: Your name
A/N: I said if I did a sequel it wouldn’t be happy, here you are!
(1561 Words) 

 
-

You’d always heard from your friends that breakups were tough. Even if, in the end, you never really loved the person, a breakup still sparks a massive change in your life. And since your breakup with Philip, you found yourself more aware of how things were different.

Having a partner, someone you live with. It was like a pillar in your life. Not only were they someone you saw and talked to every day, but they were also someone who helped you with living. Bills, rent, food and other amenities. When that person suddenly leaves your life it’s a massive change.

You’d moved out of Philip and yours shared apartment the day after the break-up. No amount of begging or pleading could change your mind as you walked back and forth from your car arms full of your belongings. You didn’t spare him a single glance and, once finished, left without a word.

That had been 3 months ago, despite the freshness of the wounds he had inflicted. You hadn’t spoken and had blocked him on all your social media. The girl he had cheated on you with was gone, he’d told you when you dropped by to beg for your forgiveness only 2 days on from your separation. You’d simply shut the door and gone to your room, listening to loud music until he gave up and went home.

You couldn’t feel bad about shunning him, how could you? His actions were abhorrent, and the fact that he kept trying to get you back only fueled your anger more. You’d done well on your own, developing a new schedule. Something that didn’t rotate around him. You’d go for runs in the mornings, had more time to hang out with friends and explore your city. It was a little mean, but without Philip things just seemed… fresher. Like a new start. Things were starting to look up you thought until you heard the telling ring of a doorbell.

Groaning, you paused the episode of Brooklyn 99 playing on your tv and put aside your dinner, brushing off your clothes. 6 was rather late for a visitor, even if it was lighter with daylight savings. You wondered if it was the man down the hall again, who always seemed to be breaking his things. One day it’s his fridge, the next his window. As you unlocked the door you laughed at the thought of what it was this time. Leaking bathtub, broken cupboard. Swinging the door open you opened your mouth to greet the old man, freezing on the spot as you made eyes with a person you absolutely did not want to see.

Philip looked different, but people generally do when you don’t see them after months on end. His face was gaunt, hollowed like a corpse. His hair longer, stringy and tangled and his eyes looked empty, flickering over your face. He looked as broken as your heart was when you walked in on him with that girl. The sight of him, it made all the memories and emotions flood back, you fought hard

“I… didn’t think you’d answer.” He said breathlessly, the ghost of a smile on his face. You made a ‘tch’ sound, looking him over. You didn’ know if it was pathetic or just plain stupid that he’d shown up at your house a full 3 months after breaking up. He was right to think you wouldn’t answer, and regretted touching the handle with every atom of your body.
“I sure as hell wish I hadn’t,” You snapped at him. There was no point with niceties, he’d lost the right to your kindness long ago. “What do you want?” Your demand was clear and simple, you daren’t let yourself waver as he flinched at the remark.

“I… came to apologise. Properly.” He looked down, glueing his eyes to the hallway carpet. You gave him a dubious look. Apologise? He’d done that a billion times already, what would make his words different now?
“There’s something else, isn’t there?” You saw it, the flicker of surprise in his eyes that told you that you were right. Why would he show up if it didn’t help him?
“I… I want you ba-” Philip had to use the full force of his arms to stop you from slamming the door shut. You didn’t need this, not now.
“Y/N please! I’m being honest, I need you!” Philip exclaimed,
“What do you mean you need me?!” You nearly scoffed, as if that was any reason for you to get back with him! He struggled for words, and pity seated itself deep in your stomach.
“I’ve been miserable without you!” He cried, and you began to pity your poor neighbours who were listening in. “I can’t think straight, I can’t concentrate. I need you to make things better again.” Your fists clenched and you stared at him in complete disbelief, mouth hanging agape. He could not be serious right now. That’s why he wanted you back? Because of him? Your jaw locked and you threw the door wide open once again, backing him up against the hallway wall

“But I don’t need you! It’s not my responsibility to make you happy again!” You threw your arms up, watching his eyes widen in shock. You continued on, the words spilling out of your mouth now
“I’m not Eliza, I’m not a forgiving person. You broke my trust, something I have a great difficulty giving! You can’t just beg for me to come back and have it all be sunshine and daisies! I’m happy now, Philip. I like being alone, and I wouldn’t be happy if I got back with you!” Your hands went to your face which you rubbed viciously hard. It’d been a while since you’d been able to let your frustrations out, for a second you wondered if Philip deserved this but there was no other way. When you looked back up, he was clearly holding back tears. Your chest ached. Something deep inside you still cared for him, but your love was gone. Too far to ever regain again, there was no point avoiding it anymore. There wasn’t a future where you and Philip could be together, not a happy one at least.

“I couldn’t be happy if we were to get back together.” You said it a little softer, moving a hand to his shoulder. He leaned into your touch and made no move to push you away.
“So… consider this closure. This is the end of us but it isn’t the end of you or me. You’ll fall in love again, and so will I. Just make sure you know where your loyalties lie next time.” You scanned his face for any displeasure, any coming outbursts or arguments but he made none. Philip looked to the floor, slumping in defeat.

“This is really it, isn’t it?” He was quiet, thinking over what you’d told him. Processing.
“Yeah.” You nodded, but he didn’t see you, eyes still trained to the ground.
“I can’t fix this, can I?” His voice wavered, and for a horrifying second, you thought he was going to start crying again. Instead, when he lifted his head, a hard gaze met yours. Steeled and accepting. You sucked in a breath and shook your head.
“No, you can’t.” Silence hung, heavy and obscuring. You both found yourselves lucky no one else was in the hallway.

“This… is goodbye.” You sighed in relief as Philip said that. It wasn’t a question, a hopeful sentence. It was a statement. Acceptance. You smiled ever so slightly.
“Yeah, I… I guess it is.” You nodded, connecting eyes once more you stared for a few seconds longer. Your memories of your relationship flashed by. The confession, your first date, first kiss, your first time. It was all so sweet, which is why you needed it to stay exactly that. A sweet memory. Finally breaking your stare you turned to your door but froze when he grabbed your hand, fingers curling around your wrist. You didn’t dare make eye contact as he spoke again.
“Y/N. I…” He cut himself off, taking a shaky breath. “I love you.” You felt a dull stab in your chest as you heaved a sigh.
“But you won’t forever. Just hold out for then.” You said, and before another word could be spoken you broke out of his grip and darted back into your apartment, shutting the door and sliding to the floor.

Once more it was quiet, your mind calming it’s buzzing. Your breathing blasted in your ears, holding it in suddenly as you listened to the footsteps of your ex-boyfriend fade down the hall. Once you were sure he was gone you breathed out, feeling more than just air leave you. A weight in your chest blew out through your lungs, something that had been dragging you down for a while. Without it, it was lighter, your future seemed… brighter. And while deep down something pricked in your chest, you knew what happened needed to. For both of you, there was no fixing it. There was no moving through, the only way to move forward was to cut your losses and say goodbye. And at the end of the day, you both knew that it was the only way to push through.

the front bottoms starters

{ lyric starters from all of tfb’s albums, in chronological order }

“ today we can do something that we’ve never done before. ”
“ it’s getting dark – this wasn’t part of the plan. ”
“ i’ll close my eyes and just pretend you never said it. ”
“ time is running out and i need to choose. ”
“ nobody here wants to be the first to go. ”
“ it’s gonna hurt more than we had planned. ”
“ stop, please, i want to go home. ”
“ they say face your fears but i can’t stop running. ”
“ i’m gonna get on my knees; would you kick me in the face please? ”
“ if you need a little sunshine you can borrow some of mine. ”
“ this is me officially giving up on you. ”
“ i’ve wasted too much time with stupid lies. ”
“ no one with money ever goes to jail. ”
“ we could set ourselves on fire; there is cleansing in the flame. ”
“ since when is ‘i wanna hear your voice’ not a good excuse? ”
“ there is very little left of me and it’s never coming back. ”
“ don’t worry, you don’t have to stay the same. ”
“ we both know where this is going to lead. ”
“ if you want to move ahead, you’ll have to leave me behind. ”
“ you’re such a fucking hypocrite. ”
“ tell them i didn’t want to die. ”
“ it’s hard to explain; i like to be by myself. ”
“ they won’t know who i was before. ”
“ sometimes you talk when you are sleeping. ”
“ there’s just no place in between for us to meet. ”
“ what about your friends? don’t you love them enough to stay? ”
“ if i don’t leave now, i’ll never get away. ”
“ it probably won’t get easier, just…easier to hide. ”
“ i believe that you are pushing your luck. ”
“ i’ve been around long enough now to know that good things never last. ”
“ and i’m the last one on the dance floor as the chandelier gives way. ”
“ don’t tell me complicated stories about who you used to be. ”
“ if you wanna leave, why don’t you just go? ”
“ i feel fucked, but in a good way. ”
“ i just want this to mean something to someone. ”
“ i wanna contribute to the chaos. ”
“ you are the reason i’m smiling when there’s nothing to smile about. ”
“ once i finally hit the ground, who’s gonna drag me into the light? ”
“ it’s just so hard to see tomorrow past tonight. ”
“ i guess there are some things i was just born to be. ”
“ i should’ve known you were a prize my hands could never hold. ”
“ i guess i’m just another thing you left behind. ”
“ but if you listen to your heart it may mislead you. ”
“ i’ve felt lost for so long. ”
“ there are answers here—they’re just harder to figure out. ”
“ keep me in love; keep me believing it’s with you. ”
“ you might be leading now but there’s no way you can win. ”
“ i wish i could pretend to be all of the things you think you see in me. ”
“ sometimes you’ve gotta close your eyes to truly see the light. ”
“ the only thing stronger than my head is my heart. ”
“ i don’t care if you’re not sorry—i forgive you. ”
“ i’m always focusing in on the wrong things. ”
“ i’ll hold your hand if you hold mine. ”
“ the last thing i need is a stupid excuse to fight back. ”
“ I don’t need your reasons anymore. ”
“ my body is a temple; how much do you think i could get for it? ”
“ once you fuck the fire all that’s left to do is burn. ”
“ i want world domination just like everybody else. ”
“ i’ve got a lot of people leaning on me. ”
“ this is my body, the only thing that i own entirely, and it will carry me to greatness somehow. ”
“ the farther you go from where you start, the harder it is to get back. ”
“ i just need a little help to find the path i should be on. ”
“ listen just because something burns bright doesn’t mean it’s going to burn forever. ”
“ you should fear what you already know. ”
“ i’m not going to sit here and deny what i think i felt. ”
“ shouldn’t have taken you that long to figure this out. ”
“ i don’t wanna make my mark on anything. ”
“ if it’s a little too much to bear right now, you can look forward to showing off the scars. ”
“ i have no idea what you’re going through so i won’t act like i do. ”
“ just stop, it doesn’t even matter anymore. ”
“ it’s the things i thought were dead in me that are coming to life. ”
“ i’ve been living this way since the day i met you. ”
“ i could see myself dying for you. ”
“ so make up lies and convince yourself they’re true—who am i to tell you what to do? ”

Hades ~ Chapter 2

Originally posted by lehyuks

ravi x reader 

warnings: none really 

word count: 2.7k

demon au!

i tried to make him old timey and failed so be warned at the cringey use of old english 

admin kyndall

Chp.1  Chp,3

Day One 

You inhaled the rich smell of the coffee which you held in your hands.  You need coffee for this early Sunday morning. What a terrible night. Between the ten days to live and having to go back to college you couldn’t tell which one was worse. 

“What is this beverage?” You dropped your mug. The shards exploded on the floor and the hot liquid splashed on the title of your kitchen and your feet. 

“It’s coffee dipshit!” You yelled as you turned around to the person that was your roommate but instead you were met by a puff of silver hair. You screamed and the kitchen door flew open revealing your raven haired roommate. His white t shirt hung loosely to his body and his sweat pants were on backwards. and he was holding a baseball bat. 

Keep reading

Don’t give up.

Summary: Daryl stops you from killing yourself and admits his feelings.
Warnings: Mentions suicide, sadness, fluff and smut.

If someone would have told you years ago just how bad things would get, you would have laughed in their face. No one could have predicted just how bad the world was going to be, the destruction, the devastation, the loss. You had a pretty standard life before the turn, a loving family, a good job, a nice house. The only thing you needed to worry about was what to make for dinner. You adapted pretty well when the world went to shit, all things considered. At least you still had your family by your side, and even when the numbers slowly dwindled down, you still had your sister. She was your rock throughout everything, you found solace in each other, and even though every loss suffered hurt, you got through it because of her. You had made it all the way to Alexandria and with you both having been on the road for so long, you were put to good use. You were helping Aaron and Daryl recruit and Emma helped on runs with Glenn and Tara. So when they came back without her one day you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. You locked yourself away in the house you once shared with her, never answering the door when people wanted to check on you.

You couldn’t do it anymore, the pain was too intense. The loss of your sister had left a gaping hole in your soul and there was no coming back from it. Shooting yourself was a little undesirable, it would be messy and gruesome for whoever found you. But you couldn’t think of another way to do it without turning, and you certainly didn’t want to jeopardise Alexandria and everything you had all worked so hard for. So here you were sat in your bedroom with a handgun. You were nervous, of course you were. You knew what you wanted though, to be reunited with your sister, so you sat there on the floor trying to work up the courage to do it. You had left a note taped to the front door, you wanted whoever found you to be prepared for what they would find, you didn’t want to them to just stumble across you and be taken by surprise.

Daryl was worried about you, he had tried numerous times to check on you but you never answered. He knew how devastated you were about losing Emma. He was gutted after Merle and you were 10 times closer to your sister. Aaron kept telling him to give you space, you would come out when you were ready. But Daryl couldn’t shake his feeling of unease and found himself worrying and pacing in Aaron’s living room.
“Fuck it.” He mumbled to himself as he left the house and walked down the road to your house.
He noticed something taped to your door and thought someone had left it for you, until he got closer and noticed it was your handwriting and addressed to ‘everyone.’ He quickly opened it and read.

Dear everyone,
I just want to say how much I appreciated you all, you’re my wonderful family and I don’t know what I would have done without you. Please know that this isn’t your fault, I just simply can’t go on anymore. Emma death has pushed me too far and I just can’t do this anymore. I hope you all understand.
Daryl – Thank you for being my best friend, you truly mean alot to me. You’re an incredible man and the world could use some more Daryl Dixons.

Goodbye
Y/n.

Daryls heart almost stopped and he kicked the door open with a swift kick.
“No, no, no no!” He panicked as he raced through the house and up the stairs hoping he wasn’t too late.

You put your gun in your mouth ready to shoot after finally getting the composure to do it. Silent tears stained your face and you braced yourself for what was to come. Unexpectedly the bedroom door flew open and a wild looking Daryl stood there, looking at you with his wide eyes. He choked back a sob at the sight of you with a gun in your mouth, truly defeated and ready to give up. His heart was thundering in his chest and his breathing was shaky.
“What the fuck is this?!” He yelled, sounding more distraught than angry, tears escaping a cascading down his face. You were a little shocked, you knew he cared, you were best friends after all, but seeing him cry was a rare thing.
“I…” You couldn’t find your words as your lip started to tremble. You tried to push away the lump in your throat but you failed as you started sobbing. Daryl dropped to the floor next to you and took the gun out of your hands, placing it behind him.
“Please, please don’t fuckin’ do this y/n.” He pleaded, grabbing your face with both of his large rough hands. You looked up into his glassy blue eyes and your heart hurt seeing the pain you had put him through.
“Daryl…I can’t. It hurts too much.” You whispered as you sobbed, letting him cradle your head and pull you into his chest.
“I know it does, but I can try to make it better if ya let me. Just give me a chance sunshine. Don’t do this, don’t give up, don’t leave me like this.” He begged as he stroked your hair, holding you close. You fisted his shirt as you cried, feeling a little shocked by how much he seemed to care.
“I need ya y/n. I need ya like I need the fuckin’ air to breathe. I don’t know when it happened, or how, but yer in my head, my fuckin’ heart. If ya do this a part of me will die with ya and I’d just be in the same position ya are now.” He admitted shakily. You lifted your head to look at him shocked.

“What are you saying Daryl?” You asked confused. He kept his hand on the back of your head, caressing your hair.
“I’m sayin’ that whether ya realise it or not, yer mine. I care about ya. Fuck…I love ya. And I want ya to give me a chance, to prove that ya can get through this.” He said sincerely as he looked into your eyes.
You couldn’t help the small smile that graced your face at his admission and it made him smile back. You didn’t trust your voice so you decided to show him how you felt by crashing your lips into his in a bruising kiss, pouring all of your emotions into it. He deepened the kiss and traced your bottom lip with his tongue. You parted your lips for him and let your tongue dance with his. He pulled you onto his lap as he leant against the wall, you could feel his hardness under you.
“I wanna show ya how much I love ya.” He drawled against your lips. You nodded to him and he kissed you passionately again whilst his hand slid underneath your top. You gasped at his touch on your bare skin and tugged his hair. He thrust upwards and growled, pushing his hardness against you more, trying to find some friction. In one swift move he had your top thrown across the room, your bra wasn’t far behind. He grabbed your breast and gently took your nipple in his mouth, sucking and nibbling it. You moaned at the sensation as you let him explore your body.

“Get ‘em off.” He demanded as he tugged on your pants. You shimmied out of them and your panties and he removed his jeans, revealing his impressive dick as he was commando. He wasted no time in grabbing you once more and guiding you on top of him. He looked into your eyes, checking this was what you wanted. You nodded and his gaze never left you as he let you sink down onto him. He let out a groan and bit his lip at the feel of your warm wet walls tight around his cock. He let you adjust for a minute, cupping your cheek and kissing you lovingly. You started to roll your hips into his, causing another growl from him.
“Fuck, ya feel so good baby.” He moaned against your lips as he started to thrust up into you holding onto your hips, picking up his pace. You were both moaning and panting between the kisses you assaulted each other with. You felt the familiar pleasure building up and knew you wouldn’t last much longer, apparently Daryl was in the same boat.
“Ain’t gon’ last much longer darlin’.” He gasped through clenched teeth as you started to ride him wildly. You started moaning louder as your orgasm ripped through your body like a tidal wave, causing you to tremble with pleasure. Your walls clamped down around him as you rode it out, milking him of every drop.
“Oh fuck!” He cried out as he came hard inside of you, groaning and panting in your ear as he held onto you for dear life.

You both sat there kissing each other whilst you came down from your highs.
“I love you Daryl.” You said softly as you played with his hair. He smiled at you and caught your lips with his own.
You were glad Daryl stopped you from taking your own life, you had something worth living for now and you knew deep down that in time you would be fine.

anonymous asked:

Sole is slowly losing their voice and after a while, they become mute. Can you also add Maxson (if you want tho)

Well, it’s about five minutes to 9:00 which means I will be making that 12 hour deadline I set for myself by five minutes. Yay for procrastination!

So this one’s been sitting in my inbox for a while, and I loved it, so here we go! I did the reaction a little different this time. Everything is in first person relative to the companions, and all romancable (by my standard) companions automatically have romanced reactions. Not sure how much I like it, so I’ll probably go back to the old format. But hey, where’s the fun in sticking to a formula all the time?

I’ll add Maxson later for you anon! I just didn’t have the time to do it in one sitting.

Curie: “Oh Sole, I am so sorry. I wish there was more I could do, but I am afraid zhat I- I cannot- I- I,” Ergh, I cannot even finish my sentence! Stupid, stupid tears! And my hands cannot wipe them away fast enough. They just keep coming. I wish I couldn’t cry; It’s Sole who should be upset! Out  of everyone in zhe whole Commonwealth it should not have to be Sole who loses their voice.

Oh, now look, Sole is hugging me.

“Thank you Sole, but it should be me that is comforting you, no?” I feel their chin rub back and forth against zhe top of my scalp; they’re shaking their head no. I start smiling as I cry into their chest. Is zhis supposed to happen, do humans sometimes smile when zhey cry?

Sole pats me on the back while placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head, and I know just what zhey are saying, even without the words.

It’s okay Curie. It’s not your fault. You can’t fix everyone, and I still love you, no matter what.

“Thank you Sole. I love you too.”

Deacon: After all they’ve done for the Railroad, for me, only to find out that their son is the Father of the whole damn Institute. And then to kill them too? That’s gotta be harsh. In fact, I know it is. They… they haven’t talked to me… to anybody really, for days. It started with short, sweet answers, “yes,” “no,” etcetera, and Sole would only speak when spoken to. Then they stopped verbalizing altogether, and their responses were short, almost undetectable nods. And they haven’t even smiled in, what…

months?

They’re sitting on their bed when I walk in, facing the wall, knees drawn in. Wow, those dark circles look rough. Have they even slept since the big bang? Wait, what? I’m uh, not… moving anymore, and I can’t seem to to get my legs working. C’mon Deacon, let’s go.

I give up on walking to watch them for a while instead, and I know they know I’m here. But then I’m there, holding them. Why are all my muscles quivering?

“Sole, I miss you. I understand, but I miss you. Come on back now, yeah? How about it pal? I can’t talk all the time you know, as unconvincing as that sounds.” So much for playing it cool. My voice is warbling in my throat, and I’m pretty sure those are Sole’s tears soaking through my t-shirt. I lean out of the hug to press my forehead against theirs. “I love you Sole, and I’ll wait for you, but please, please hurry.” And then I kiss them. What else can I do?

Cait: Oh shite, oh shite, this is serious! I just feel like- Augh! Ack! Ergh, it sounds like a knuckle cracked! Damn wall. Oh shite, Sole. I just…

Maybe Curie’s wrong. Maybe it isn’t actually permanent, but… it is some sort of miracle that kept Sole alive after that dog chewed their throat out. It’s been months though and Sole still isn’t able ta talk to me at all through those disgustin’ red welts across their neck. If I had just been payin’ more attention, I could’ve s-stopped it. I’m just- I’m just…

I’m just so scared of forgettin’ their voice. I already have hard time rememberin’ the way they used to say “I love you.” Oh… Oh no…

I bury my head in me hands and press down, hard. As long as I’m pressing against my eyes the tears won’t come out; Sole doesn’t need this right now. You’re always talkin’ yerself up Cait! C’mon and get together!

Here they come outta Curie’s little infirmary. The scars don’t look any better, and Curie seems like she’s about to spill some tears: Sole does too. I run up and grab them by the shoulders, starin’ straight into their eyes before crushin’ ‘em to me chest. If I can’t hear them anymore, I’ll make up for it by holding them as tight as I can.

“Oh Sole. Everythin’s gonna be just fine. I promise.”

Nick: “Oh darlin’, I’m so sorry.” I hold Sole’s face in my good hand, wiping away the tears from their cheek with my thumb. Today was the first day since the accident that Curie made them try to speak, but when Sole opened their mouth… there was nothing. Nothing at all. I wish I could forget the look of absolute despair on Sole’s face. I wish they could forget about it too.

They’re still weeping, silently, into my palm, but now they’ve stopped to look up at me. Rapidly blinking the tears away, they start motioning with their hands in a zig-zagging fashion.

“Ah, you wanna notepad kid?”

They nod silently, and I notice their trembling lips.

“Here ya go sweetheart.” I hand them the paper notepad and a pencil to write with. They furiously scribble a message down. When they hand it to me I notice the smudge puddles from where Sole’s tears had dripped onto the paper.

I miss singing with you .It read.

“C’mere.” I tell them, and they collapse into my chest. I wrap my jacket around them, holding them, and hum one of their favorite tunes. Maybe we can’t sing together anymore, but don’t worry Sole, I love you, and I’ll sing enough for the both of us.

Danse: “He was a good hound soldier.” The comment doesn’t really seem to affect Sole. This is the fourth month they’ve come to visit Dogmeat’s grave, and they haven’t spoken a word since the burial. I ran a hand through my hair; I’m not entirely sure how to deal with the situation. It would be best to just talk it out, but Sole insists on bottling everything in, and that’s not healthy. Believe me, I’ve seen plenty of fresh-faced squires do the same thing.

“You’ll have to talk to someone about it sooner or later Sole. Why not just go ahead and talk to me, please. “I implore them to give up their vow of silence, but they just stare at me vacantly.

But now they’re leaning their face into my chest. I sigh, but don’t hesitate to put my arms around them.

“I understand Sole. Really, I do. I just don’t want you to tear yourself apart on the inside for too long because… I’m afraid it won’t be the old Sole that comes back, the Sole I fell in love with.”

I feel them nod into my shirt, and then I kiss their hair because I know they love that, and because I want them to know that I love them, no matter what.

X6-88: “Sir/ma’am, I understand your distress, but this has gone on for months. Don’t you think it’s time to start talking again?” I’m sitting across from Sole, watching them through my sunglasses. They’re looking at me too, but I’m convinced that, for the most part, they aren’t present. Sole consistently refuses to tell me why they’re doing this, and I’ve given up on trying to figure it out. I’ve just had to accept the fact that they’re grieving.

When did their hands move to my face? Fingers wrap around my glasses, and I let Sole slide the shades off of my nose. Now there’s nothing between us; I feel exposed. Maybe that’s why I say what I do,

“I miss you. It’s time to come back.”

They nod slowly, agreeing, even though no words come out of their mouth. I’m not usually the affectionate type, but I feel like it needs to be done. I take their hands and hold them. They look both relieved and confused, then mutter out a small, “Okay.”

Am I… smiling?

MacCready: Irreparable damage.

That’s what Curie’s report said anyway. I mean wh- what hell! Can’t she at least try! Ugh! I pull at my hair and use the pain to try and distract myself. I can hear choked breathing coming from the other room; Sole is crying. I’m pacing and feel absolutely useless! I have to bite my fist to keep from sending everything on the dining room table right through the window.

Finally everything boiled over inside me, so I marched straight into Sole’s bedroom and picked them up from the bed, just loving the feeling of holding them in my arms. I press my face into their shoulder as hard as I can stand, and I let them sob into mine.

“I love you Sole. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry this happened, and I wish I could do something to help. Oh my g- Sole. It-It’s gonna be okay. I promise. I promise.”

I pull back, grab their face, and kiss them hard, harder than I ever have before. I’m going to convince them everything will be alright, and then I’m going to make it that way. For Sole.

Hancock: “C-c’mon Sole, you’re killin’ me here. Just talk to me.” I pleaded. Hell, I’ve even begged. I understand Sole is grieving, but it’s been so long, and all I want is to hear their voice. Maybe it’s selfish, but, damn, I’d sell out Goodneighbor to hear them laugh again.

They’re giving me a hurt look, and now I feel awful, watching their eyes spill over with tears. Their mouth gapes open for a few seconds, but no words come out. I understand perfectly though; they’re trying to apologize: typical Sole.

“I’m sorry sunshine. Forget what I said okay, no need to apologize. You’re hurt, so take your time healing. Hey now, don’t cry sweetheart! Come here.”

I pull them into a hug because I know it comforts them. Not to brag or anything, but they even told me once that it makes them feel safe when I hold them, and I think feeling safe is what they need now more than anything. I’ll be sure to provide it for them in spades.

Piper: “Oh Blue, oh blue I’m so sorry.” I can’t believe it. Never hearing Blue talk again, ever. They don’t deserve something like this. All they’ve ever done for the Commonwealth is make it an easier place to live in, and how does it repay them? It takes their voice. Typical. Too bad no one, not even a great reporter like myself, can bring the cosmic forces of karma to justice.

“Well, at least if you had to be paired with someone, it’s the only person in the Commonwealth that can make up both sides of a conversation. Heh.” Sole gives me a half-hearted smile. “See! That’s the spirit! Glad to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor Sole.”

All joking aside, I am really proud of Sole and their un-crushable spirit, so I smile too, and lean forward to give Sole a quick kiss. “Love you Sole.”

Preston: Ever since Curie broke the news to Sole, I’ve been sitting here with them all day. They’re taking it really hard, and if I’m being honest… I am too. I loved hearing Sole wake me up in the morning with an “I love you,” and the way they laughed when Dogmeat played with the kids, and to know that I’ll never hear those things again…

No, I can’t think about that. Sole needs me now.

“You know I love you, right Sole? You’re gonna make it through this. You’re such a strong person, to make it out of the Vault, to lead the Minutemen. You’ll make it.” I squeezed them a bit harder to my side, reassuring them.

I feel their fingers lace together with mine, and I look over to kiss Sole on the lips. I intended for a sweet, simple kiss to comfort them, but Sole lingers, and I am more than happy to stay there with them. Whatever they need, I’m here, and I let them know that every day.

Dogmeat: Master hasn’t talked to me in a while, which is strange. They always tell me they love me when they pat my tummy, in that funny, squeaky voice. Now they just smile when they pet me, although sometimes they cry too. I can tell that something is wrong; dogs are good at that kind of thing, didn’tcha know? I don’t know what’s hurt my human so much, but I make sure to give them extra kisses and extra cuddles now. I think they need it, and I hope that they understand just how much I love them, even if they don’t say they love me back.

Codsworth: I know it doesn’t help much, but caretaking is what I was programmed to do. Today I’ve flitted to and fro about Sole after hearing the news about their… injury. In hindsight, perhaps keeping them home today to recuperate was not the best choice. All they’ve done is stew in their misery, and who can blame them?

“Sir/mum, I’m so sorry. I-I shouldn’t have kept you here today. Perhaps a day full of distractions was just what the doctor ordered.”

Sole looks at me with pity, hah! Me, pity! I should be giving them pity. How mysteriously this world does work.

“Don’t look so down sir/mum. Come on! I bet the local pub already has a drink poured for you!”

Ah, there’s that smile! I guess after 200 years I still haven’t lost my touch, and what better way to use it than to brighten up Sole’s day.

Strong: “Strong not understand why human stop talking. Seem stupid to Strong. How we communicate in battle when you no talk?”

Human gives me a funny look, not one Strong usually see on them.  Whatever. If human want to be quiet then Strong not care. Human tough enough without voice, can scare enemy with just looks.

It has been so long since I held you,
that I forgot how love burns. 

I suppose it is true what they say. 
Time and Distance make everything seem gentle,
and Memory is a soft brush to paint with. 

I remembered the burning heat of your fire as warmth.
I remembered the blinding glare of your glory as sunshine. 
I remembered the breathtaking agony of your proximity as wonder.

I forgot that your fingers can be cruel,
     and your eyes can be sharper than a blade,
          and your lips can be deadlier than poison.

I forgot, my love–
I remembered giving to love, but
I forgot how love takes and takes and takes.

—  but I’d rather you take everything from me than to have it alone ( j.p. )

theradkid  asked:

Hey, i want to start it by saying that I LOVE all your post! You're literally so good💖 anyway I was just wondering if you could do an imagine where the reader is pregnant with Sherlock's child and she's super hormonal and she sees a cute dog and begins to cry and he comfort her while laughing which ends up that she cries even more. Sry if it's hard to understand💖 Thanks

Nooo omg I immediately knew what you meant… at least I hope I did! Thank you so much for your absolutely lovely message and hopefully you enjoy this one! <3 (I was really tired while writing this so I hope it still makes sense haha)


You blinked in confusion and sat up in your warm, comfy bed.

“Sherlock, what the hell are you doing?”

You groaned and tried to get used to the sunshine filling your bedroom.

Finally having gained your vision fully back, you could see your partner in crime and boyfriend of three years running around the room, picking clothes from your wardrobe and throwing them onto the chair next to the bed.

“We are going for a walk. You haven’t left the flat in weeks- and no, visiting Mrs Hudson downstairs doesn’t count as going outside, don’t even start protesting.”

“But Sherlock, my feet! They’re so fucking big that none of my shoes want to fit me anymore! And don’t even get me started on my clothes, they’re like twenty sizes too small-”

“(Y/N). You need fresh air, and it’s me saying that. Mary borrowed you some of her clothes, and you’ll definitely still fit into these brown elefant shoes.”

“You mean ugg boots?”

You asked with a giggle while heaving you and your swollen belly out of the bed to change into the clothes your overprotective detective boyfriend had brought you.

“Exactly. I never know with these which shoe belongs to which foot- oh!”

He widened his eyes.

“The eggs!”

He stormed out of the bedroom and left the door open while doing so.

You chuckled to yourself and changed into the fresh clothes, what actually felt pretty good.

You were eight months pregnant, and moving got harder with every day passing by.

“Ah, you’re dressed. You look good.”

Sherlock pressed a kiss to your cheek and went to get his coat.

“I thought you made breakfast?”

He peaked his head around the corner, his breathtaking features smiling at you apologetically. 

“I did try. It burned. Hudders almost called the firepolice. Fire department, that’s the word.”

Every time you thought your soon coming parenthood had make you all nervous, you just looked at Sherlock and immediately were convinced that it had hit him far worse.

“So, where are we going?”

Your boyfriend took your hand and started going down the street.

“The park. That’s where families go, don’t they?”

You grinned.

“Yeah, they do. Just that normally, the children do get a lot more out of a visit at the park when they’re already born.”

“There’s always something, isn’t it?”

The both of you laughed, and like this the way to the closest park actually went by pretty fast.

“You stay here, I’m gonna get you two something to eat. And I already know what you want, no need to give me orders. Just relax.”

You closed your eyes and leaned back in the park bench, letting spring’s first sun rays warm you up in the most pleasant way imaginable.

But all of a sudden, a weird sniffing sound appeared next to you.

You opened your eyes and looked down on the floor, only to look at the most beautiful eyes you’d ever seen.

Sorry Sherlock, but no one would be able to compete with the in the sunshine almost golden seeming eyes of the puppy sitting in front of you.

“Hi there!”

You squeaked and carefully bowed down to pet his ridiculously soft ears.

The doggo closed his eyes and placed his head in your lap.

“So, I got you two hot dogs because you’re always hungrier in the mornings and-”

You heard Sherlock’s voice behind you and turned your head to look at him.

“Look at this dog!”

You whispered while you sensed tears starting to fill your eyes.

This creature was just far too soft and beautiful to exist.

“He’s so beautiful.”

You couldn’t help it.

You helplessly started sobbing and shook yor head.

“So beautiful.”

Sherlock carefully placed your ‘breakfast’ on the bench next to you and sat down next to you, draping one arm over your shoulder and pulling you closer to him.

You just continued crying, overwhelmed by- well everything.

Suddenly, you noticed how your boyfriend’s chest started vibrating.

Was he crying?

Oh no.

“Sherlock you ass-hole, stop laughing!”

You whined, causing even more  tears to run down your cheeks.

Still, you just couldn’t help but join him in his laughter.

Your behaviour was ridiculous, you knew that yourself, but you were carrying a goddamn small human inside of you, for god’s sake.

By the time the owner of the dog arrived with a stressed yet relieved expression, you had calmed down again so you were able to talk to the middle aged man about how beautiful his puppy was.

Sherlock just sat next to you and tried to hide his amusement.

After you’d said goodbye to the dog and eaten your breakfast, it was just the two of you sitting next to each other on the park bench and enjoying the calm.

“Sherlock?”

“Hm?”

“As soon this baby is born we get a dog.”

He smiled.

“Deal.”


Originally posted by dangbenedict

 

Originally posted by heartsnmagic

Walking Ray of Sunshine

Request: How about that the reader is sad (feeling down/depressed) and that Barry comforts the reader?

A/N: I kinda cranked this one out faster than I had expected haha. I hope this is what you had in mine anon!

Word Count: 962

The day was dark and miserable, almost comparable to the mood I was in. Rain was pouring as I walked out of yet another unsuccessful interview. The past several weeks had been complete shit one day after the other. A month ago my boyfriend broke up with me. Three weeks ago I lost my job. Since then I had been filling out countless employment applications, attended several interviews, made an infinite number of phone calls, and still nothing. Nada, zip, zilch.

And there I was standing under my polka dot umbrella, in the torrential downpour waiting for my uber driver to pick me up and take me to my apartment where I could lay down and wallow in self-pity. The uber driver pulled up to the edge of the street splashing a puddle all over my new dress, just perfect. 

As we pulled up to the apartment building I thanked the not so polite uber driver for the ride and went upstairs. As I approached my door I realized I left my key in the car. FML. I prayed to myself that my neighbor was home so I could ask them for my spare. Thankfully she was and once I let myself in I immediately dropped the soaked and mud stained dress and changed into my yoga pants and my favorite band tee. I was beyond ready to go into a state of hibernation and a Netflix coma. 

Why is my life so miserable? What is wrong with me? What kind of person loses their boyfriend and their job in a week? Ugh and I’m supposed to go out with Barry tonight. I really don’t want to bring him down. 

Collapsing on the couch I texted Barry. 

I don’t really feel like going out tonight. Maybe we could take a rain check?

What’s wrong?

Nothing.

You’re a horrible liar.

It’s nothing really. Ask Cisco and Caitlin to go out instead.

Nope.

Come on, Barr. I’m fine.

I’m fine never means I’m fine.

Ugh, you’re too smart for your own good.

This is true. Now what’s wrong?

Just stressing out. Need some down time. Sorry.

I’m coming over.

Barry, no.

You can’t stop me.

Barry, don’t come over. Go have fun.

Too late.

There was a knock at the door. With a heavy grunt I rolled lazily off the couch and slumped over to the door. On the other side was a smiling Barry Allen.

“What no pizza?” I joked sarcastically. But suddenly a gust of wind whipped my hair around my face. A few seconds later Barry was back at my door, four pizza boxes in hand.

“You could moonlight as a pizza boy,” I said taking one of the boxes from his hands and walked over to the couch.

“I think we both know I’m never on time as it is,” he sat next to me and I laid my head on his lap, messily eating my pizza.

He ran his fingers through my hair, “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or do I have to drag it out of you?”

I gave him a face telling him I really didn’t want to talk about it, but I knew Barry and he was stubborn.

“Come on, y/n. I ran all the way from STAR Labs and got pizza. Now tell me what’s wrong…”

“I don’t know… it’s just kind of- well everything. When Josh broke up with me I felt broken, like I was never going to be good enough. And then a week later I get fired, and I know it wasn’t anything personal, it was budget cuts but that still doesn’t help the fact that I’m 26 and unemployed. And it just seems like since then, that feeling of being inferior is growing stronger. Every day is a new chance for me to be a disappointment, to be undeserving. I mean, I don’t even know why you stick around. You’re a god damn super hero. You run around saving people, fighting metahumans, and now here you are trying to save me. But… what if I’m beyond saving… what if I’m hopeless…” Barry sat there and just listened as he raked his fingertips through my hair.

“Y/n, you are one of the strongest, smartest, and most giving women I know. You’re not hopeless, or undeserving, and you’re no where close to being a disappointment,” he looked down at me and smiled, “And I’m not saving you. I’m listening. I’m just here, whenever you need me I’ll always be here. And things will get better.”

“You don’t know that, Barry. I’ve applied everywhere and Josh is the only guy I’ve ever got past a second date with. I might as well be a homeless old maid. You have no idea Barry, it could get worse.”

“Well, did you know that I can see into the future?” he asked and I rolled my eyes, “And I see you happy, with your friends. With me.”

“You’re like a walking ray of sunshine sometimes, Mr. Allen,” I couldn’t help but give a small smile.

“I’m serious,” he smiled and shifted in his seat forcing me to sit up. Now face to face with Barry he reached up and took my cheek in his hand. He slowly leaned forward, trying to read my face, I tentatively leaned in only slightly. He pulled me closer and planted a slow soft kiss on my lips. When he pulled back he was blushing and hiding a smile.

“I just kissed the Flash, I’d say that’s a sign that things are looking up,” he laughed and pulled me into his chest.

“Will you go out with me?” he whispered quietly. I nodded into his chest and squeezed him tighter. Barry was right, he could see the future. 

Originally posted by valeriemperez

anonymous asked:

(1/2)(Hey! So I wrote a poem on 2009 and was wondering whether I should send then I was like what the hell-phantasticpheels)I can't see you sunshine, your pretty light is blinding me my eyes are watering,there seem to be no clouds hiding me,so I begged my sun glasses to tint the world black for once,I can't bear all this light, need refunds,on this heart you took and scorched& I loved the pain,such an addict for passion I resist in vain,my skin is the moon it takes and takes all you give,

(2/2)my own tendency to catch your eye won’t let me live,Our goodbyes manifest as lilac, insomniac nights,my body littered in sunburns, memoirs of kisses and bites,and your smile a dark crater enveloped in fire,melts me to silver, ocean waves go higher,eyes deep enough to reach the core,flickering flames they keep in store,and I am all but a rock circling my fate,can’t run even if I want to, the gravity too great,and you seem so far and you leave too soon,it takes a sun to bewitch a moon.

It always makes me happy when you feel comfortable enough to send me your writing <333

omgosh this was such a beautiful poem, I love it so much!! it makes my heart all fluttery and there’s so much emotion behind it. It’s amazing, you’re such a talented writer!! Honestly, I’d love to see so much more from you !

When Justin's on the phone with his mom and tells Brian she says "hi"
  • Brian in 2000: [gives Justin a pointed look and rolls his eyes]
  • Brian in 2003: Hey.
  • Brian in 2006: Hang on, give me the phone, I need to talk to her.
  • Brian in 2010: Sorry, Sunshine, your mother is busy talking to her favorite son, she'll call you tomorrow.

anonymous asked:

Hi! Omfg I'm so excited! I've been DYING to see this scenario! I would like to request GoM (except mukkun, sorry mukkun ;-;) + Takao+ Haizaki scenario where they notice their s/o who previously was a fiery & innocent female to gradually a detached one. (Just like a fem. ver. of Aomine, but a bit more further) this is supposed to be depression but it's upto you! S/o isnt really crying or anything, she just suddenly feels as if doing anything is pointless & lazily stays at home like a cocoon.

Sorry about the short response. I wanted to make it straight to the point this time. I really like this ask and I hope this brings you some happiness! Remember that if you ever feel down or sad, talk to someone and let them know! Be blessed everyone~

 

Kuroko: You were lying on the couch with your head propped in your hands, watching television and snacking on some candy. You didn’t go out anymore and you rarely every spoke to anyone, even your boyfriend.

“_____-chan, would you like to go to the movies tonight?” Kuroko asked.

“No, thanks. Too tired.” You replied popping some more candy in your mouth.

“We have not been out in a while, ____-chan. You used to always want to go out.”

“Eh, I’m not interested, Kuro-chin. I mean, why watch a movies when we can stay here and sleep. Nothing good is out anyway.”

Kuroko stood there and stared at you in disbelief. Kuroko didn’t recognize the woman you had become. Before you used to be so fiery and outgoing, ready to take any moment by the wheel. You complimented his quiet demeanor in more ways than one, and this depressed attitude you had made him worry.

“_____-chan, I’m worried about you.” He walked around to stand in front of you and block your face from watching the Television.

“Tetsuya, you’re blocking the TV.” You were trying to avoid the path the conversation was taking.

“_____-chan, what happened to you?” Kuroko bent down face to face with you and grabbed your free hand.

“You used to drag me out of the house and now it’s the other way around. What happened to the ___-chan I used to know?”

“W-What?” You stammered. Had you really treated him that way?

“You used to be so outgoing, so feisty. Please, I want the old ____-chan back.”

Well, maybe the movies we not so bad this once.

Akashi: Akashi knew that you were a woman that needed to be kept and he knew that.  He knew that he was unfairly busy, but when you suddenly began distancing yourself from the world even when he was spending time with you, he started to worry something was wrong.

“Flower?” Akashi asked you from the back seat of his limo.

“Hm.” You were looking out the window, your chin resting on your palm.

“I arranged for us to go to dinner tonight. It should be a nice break for the both of us.”

He was very excited to treat you and show you how much he loved you but your response was less than excited.

“Oh, Seijuro, not tonight. I don’t feel like it, I’m so very tired.” You dismissively waved your hand as if to erase his request.

“Do not lie to me, flower.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed so you would look at him.

“Why would you think I’m lying?” You said looking at his emperor eyes.

“You think I would not notice my flower wilting? I see right through you, and you’re hurting. Why is that?” He tone was sad and concerned which was uncommon for the stoic King.

“I…. I am just… a bit depressed lately, is all.” You shrugged. Had you been that obvious?

“I will have him taken care of. Anyone else?”

“Seijuro, no, it’s an emotion, not a guy!” You said giggling at his detached reply.

“I do not care. Anyone or thing that hurts my flower will be eliminated.”

Seijuro knew what depression was, he just wanted to see you smile. And that you did. Bit by bit he would fix you.

Aomine knew he was not the best boyfriend. He took way too long to find cues and said the total opposite of what he really was thinking. But he sure as hell noticed when you stopped running your fingers through his blue hair and didn’t text him goodnight anymore, he had to say something, and the correct way the first time.

“Oi, ____-chin. Come here and touch my head.” He was craving some attention, and you surely were not giving it, sitting at the opposite end of his bed looking at a magazine.

“You can rub your head, Aomine.” You never looked up from the magazine.

“Hey. I want you to do it.” He sat up a bit. He could never get you to stop rubbing his head before so what really was going on with you?

“No, I’m fine here.” You flipped another page.

“____-chin, I want you to do it.” He was fully sitting up now and frowning.

“No, Aomine. Let it go.” You finally looked up at him.

Let it go?” He repeated as if you had just slapped him.

“____-chan, I just want you to—“

“Stop, Aomine! Just leave it alone! I don’t know why you want me to be affectionate with you know when all you seem to want to do is fuck me!”

What? That’s why you have been distant?

“____-chan, I didn’t know you felt that way.” He crawled on the bed to you and hugged you which effectively shut you up so he could speak.

“If you wanted more of me, you shoulda just asked.” He said smirking at you.

“No Aomine. I need more love. More cuddling, caressing, stroking. It takes me away from the voice in my head and calms me down.” Had he been so blind as to not see that you were hurting inside? Is that why his feisty and quirky ____ was suddenly so distant.

“I…. I didn’t know I made you feel that way. I love you, ____. I’ll do anything to quiet your demons, _____. He said while hugging you tightly.

Maybe cuddling with clothes on was more important than them being off.

Midorima thought that doing affectionate things in public was dishonorable. So when you would try to hold his hand or wrap your arm around his, he would jump away and act as if he didn’t like you at all. So when he went three days without feeling you try to hold his hand or walk closely to him, he was nervous.

He kept brushing his hand up against yours, silently asking your body to respond to him. You thought he was just walking carelessly and put your hands in your pockets, eyes roaming the scenery.

“_-____-chan.” You tilted your head his way, looking at him lazily.

“Hm?”

“Do-DO you want to hold HANDS?” He questions loudly, words coming out forced and sharp.

“Huh? What’s gotten into you lately?”

“Me? Y-You usually, you know, try to hold my hand o-or grab me, so I thought—“

“Key word was try, Midorima.” His head shot back in surprise at your short tone of voice.

“I would still like to t-try.”

“Why the sudden change of heart?” He was now frowning at your rude tone.

“_____. I did not read ‘rude’ in your horoscope today.”

“That seems to be all you care about, Midorima.”

“What is going on with you, ____-chan?”

“I just feel like you don’t care about anything but your silly horoscopes.”

“They are not silly, _____.”

“Yeah, well, maybe your horoscope can tell you ‘I love you’ and hold your hand for once.”

“Nothing can replace you, _____.” He said stopping at a corner of your house.

“The horoscope did not lead me to love you, you did. It’s not like your feisty remarks kept me interested, Nanodayo.” He tried his best to open his heart up to you in that moment so you would go back to the _____-chan who would grab his mind.

Maybe checking the horoscope wasn’t so bad after all.

Kise loved you just as much as he loved basketball, modeling, and selfies. He never meant to neglect you or let you get into your depression. You trusted him enough to let him know that under all that outgoing and feisty exterior, you really were very cautious in all you did. Kise believed that because you told him about this, you were already dealing with it by yourself but maybe that’s why you were arguing for the third time this weel.

“Kise, in me telling you about my depression, I thought it was clear that I needed you by my side! Not coming home at all hours of the night with reasoning why…” You trailed off quietly, beginning to not care anymore as you did with most things in your life now.

“____-cchi, I’m sorry! I didn’t know that that is what you wanted from me!” Kise was dumbfounded that you felt this way and went to grab your hands.

“I love you _____-cchi, and whatever you need from me, let me know and I will give it to you.” He was quiet and his voice quivered when he was speaking to you, letting you know he was feeling these emotions with you.

He leaned his forehead on yours with closed eyes and said,  

“My life means nothing without you as my ray of sunshine.”

Takao was a pun master. He loved making jokes and seeing others laugh, but most of all he liked to see your smile. But recently, you had been quiet when he would make a pun and would just ignore him, the outgoing and laughable ____ gone.

“And I said, ‘Would you like to meet on tsun-day, then??” He laughed out loud, arms holding his stomach from the joke yet he was the only one laughing.

You looked away and continued to make your lunch for the next day.

“Yeah, funny.”

“Yeah, it is _____, but you don’t seem to think so?” All jokes were aside now and he needed to figure out what was going on with you.

Your shoulders slumped and you looked down into your bento saying,

“Takao, I’m sorry, I just don’t feel like myself lately.” Already knowing that he was asking you why you were not laughing.

“I noticed. Are you depressed, _____?” You forgot how quick he was with those eyes of his. When you didn’t respond and just stood stationary, he walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder.

“Depression is no laughing matter, _____. I would never joke about that. So please, from this moment on, be honest with me and tell me if you are feeling sad. I want to help you through it.”

You shut your eyes tightly, sad and relieved that he accepted you and all your demons.

“Stay close to me, _____. I’ll make sure I make you feel safe.”

Haizaki had a new toy and it’s name was _____. It was a shiny and sweet toy, one that all the kids wanted to play with, but he was the owner. He was possessive of his toy but with that possessiveness came neglect and abandonment and you were one who had dealt with this all your life and needed someone who would be there for you. You were quickly packing up your things, the fastest you had moved in months. Haizaki could not understand how you could suddenly make the effort to do things to leave him and not to be with him. Was he really that bad?

“Hey you. Where the fuck do you think your goin’?” He asked with his head resting on his balled up hand.

“I’m leaving.” You walked slowly to your bag and folded a shirt.

“Where the hell did this come from?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care.”

What the fuck? Is that what he sounded like? Suddenly he found himself hoping he never sounded that way towards you. You were his favorite toy.

He stood up and grabbed your arm, whipping you to his chest for a hug.

“Listen,” he mumbled into your neck.

“I don’t know what the hell is going on with you, actin’ all depressed and distant an’ shit, which is fine. We aren’t perfect. I sure as hell ain’t. But just know you are the best thing I have ever owned and…. And you should stay.”

He quickly let you go and walked over to your bag, beginning to fold some more of your clothes.

Well, this wasn’t a perfect relationship, but it was what you needed.

2

Anon requested: “Hey can I make a request where Hayley tells Elijah ‘loving any of us is a death sentence’ and Elijah has a flashback to where a girl he was in love with loved him back and it cost her life?”


“Loving any of us is a death sentence, isn’t it?”

Elijah couldn’t answer Hayley’s question and kept looking kitchen floor instead. The memories of a long lost love, the pain of a young woman’s heart which became her end… He felt like his head about to explode at that very moment. He left the kitchen without a word and went to his room, looking for a picture he took fifteen decades ago.

New Orleans, 1864

“Come on, Elijah!” you giggle in the gardens. “If you’re not gonna catch me at least pretend like you can!”

“It would be very rude of me if I’d break a lady’s heart.” he says and holds you in his arms. He doesn’t say much but keeps looking at you.

“What?” you ask.

“I just love the sparkles in your eyes.” he whispers. “I think I can look at this kind of sunshine whole day long.”

“Don’t be romantic now,” you blush. “It’s the only day we have alone, please don’t make me blush more.”

You two go back to your picnic basket and he gives you a glass of champagne.

“I would give you every day I have if I could.” he admits. “But you know, Y/N, this city needs–”

“You and Niklaus, I know that, Elijah.” you complete him. “But maybe some day you’ll give me the eternity you have and we can spend our lives together.”

“Y/N, this would be very lovely if you didn’t have a family to take care of. You brothers and sisters need you and I know you well, you can’t abandon them just for me.”

“Oh, Elijah, I wish so many things but you just keep being this nobleman.”

As the night falls, you two go to your home and Elijah gives you a goodnight kiss.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” he says.

“Goodnight, my love.” you answer him and at that moment, two strangers appear behind you.

“Well, well, well…” the man says and catches you. “Isn’t the older Mikaelson?”

“Leave her. Now.” Elijah says comes for him but all of a sudden, he falls down with an enormous headache.

“Elijah!” you exclaim. He can’t get up but tries to reach you.

“This is for my brother.” the man says as the other one makes Elijah suffer.

“Elijah-!”

And he breaks your neck instantly.

New Orleans, Present Day

He looked at the photo almost for an hour and tried to avoid the pain in his chest.

Hayley was right, loving any of them was a death sentence.

The only thing you had ever done during your short life was loving him with full heart.

Iron Roses

Pairing: Gajeel Redfox x Levy McGarden (Hades/Persephone!AU)

Summary: Levy was always kept in the walls of her home, but when her mother leaves her alone to attend to business, she visits her beloved flower garden where she lures a presence out of the shadows.


A/N: Italics with ’ indicate ‘inner thoughts!’ Happy reading! (:

Keep reading

Before I saw you, there was nothing special about dark brown eyes, not even mine, but you..

You’ve got eyes deeper & darker than oceans at midnight & my God, they’re beautiful.

You’ve got a smile that melts my heart every time it graces your face. I pray this world doesn’t take that away from you.

I pray this world doesn’t make you cold & if it ever starts to, I’ll set towns on fire for you.

And I wish you could stay 3 forever because in 10 years you’ll hold hands with a boy who will have the power to break your heart but if he’s smart, he’ll pick you flowers & call you pretty instead because I’ll kill for you before I let anyone walk away with your happiness-

But God forbid it happens & you find yourself lost, remember that there’s stardust in your blood & galaxies behind those milky way eyes;

You are so much more than the people that walk in & out of your life.

And whenever you need to be reminded of the angel you are, I’ll show you pictures I took before you could even walk or talk;

And I’ll give you all the sunshine your little soul has poured into mine, that I’ve been saving for a moment just like this.

I’ll tell you how your heart beat plays my favorite song & how you taught me how to love infinitely & how endlessly grateful I am.

I’d pull the sun from the sky if I thought it’d keep a smile on your face because I owe you the universe for all the happiness you’ve brought me.

And I know you’re too young to understand right now but baby girl, you are more than just the princess that everyone calls you, you’re a Queen, a goddess.

Everything that’s pure & beautiful in this world is inside you & every time you laugh it spills out & I thank you.

I thank you for existing because without you, I don’t know how long it would’ve taken me to learn that love is selfless.
—  Melody’s poem.

alecllghtw00d  asked:

ok please do you have more clizzy headcannons?? there arent enough in the world

OMG yess also theres hardly any clizzy content like i need way more hello??

  • Izzy likes to connect Clary’s freckles on her arms and legs with sharpie to make pictures
  • for some reason the pictures often resembles a dick, Izzy blames her bad drawing skills, Clary’s not so sure
  • Izzy wearing low cut tops and clary just looking at her chest and saying “nice”
  • Alec is a huge Clizzy shipper and essentially acts like Regina George’s mom in Mean Girls “you girls need anything? a snack a condom let me know”
  • Early mornings!! Izzy usually wakes first but likes to stay in bed, the sunlight streams through the windows and Clary is still asleep with her hair splayed on the pillow and Isabelle lays for ages looking at her, playing with her hair and tracing patterns on her skin until she wakes up
  • + bonus Clary, eyes still closed, muttering “stop staring at me creep”
  • Tiny Clary ready to fight at all times, izzy pats her head like “chill babe”
  • Tickle fights!! Izzy knows Clary is super ticklish and will attack her when she least expects it. Clary will thrash to try and get her to stop and has often ended up kicking her in the stomach or the boob, izzy usually ends up with a few bruises and one time Clary may have kicked her in the chin, resulting in izzy not being able to open her mouth properly for about a week
  • Clary made her stay in bed all that time and waited on her hand and foot while izzy communicating using pen a paper
  • The two of them moving out of the institute and getting a cute lil appartment together
  • Clary often brings home stray kittens and izzy is like “goddammit” but she secretely loves their lil cat family
  • Clary is super clumsy and izzy always ends up having to pick her up when she falls
  • But sometimes she’ll fall and actually scrape her hands or her knees and break the skin, but she’s used to it by now and shrugs it off but Izzy is like “omg!! are you okay? is it bad? Lemme see! Clary Fray give me your hand, let me see!! Omg that needs an iratze give me your stele!” Clary just rolls her eyes like “dude i cant even feel it”

send me some sunshine beautiful angels 

Clalec|Branwood| Clyzzy

There Isn't Room for the Both of Us (You x EXO Kai)--PART 2

Hi!! I recently discovered your blog and I love it^^ Could I please request a scenario where you and Kai are childhood best friends but you like him. However he has a girlfriend who is like two-faced and treats you horribly when he isn’t around and one day he finds out. Angsty but fluffy happy ending please??

************************************************************

“I really don’t understand how you managed to break your wrist riding a bicycle. I seriously left you for five minutes!”

“I don’t know what happened. I must have hit a rock or a stick or…something.”

“Yeah, right. Well, it’s a good thing Boram was there to help you.”

“Sure—Ouch! Easy, Kai!”

“Sorry.”

You wince as Kai presses an ice pack to your knee, trying to get the swelling to go down. The doctor at the emergency room had said that ice every eight hours was the best way to get it back to normal, and you were lucky you didn’t have any breaks. Kai was under the impression that you had fallen. You, and Boram, both knew the truth.

If anything had become painfully clear, it was that you were under Boram’s control. The little witch had lied easily about your fall, as well as a number of other incidents, including dousing you in soda and forcing you to make excuses when Kai wanted to spend time together. It was truly awful, but what could you really do?

“Hmm. No answer still?”

Kai’s attention turns to his phone, one hand carefully balancing the ice pack on your knee. “What?” You look over at his phone, but he pulls it away. “Chen just did his first movie and asked us all to come to the premiere with him this weekend. I asked Boram to go with me three weeks ago, but she still hasn’t given me an answer.”

“Maybe she’s busy?" Yeah, busy ruining other people’s lives.

"I don’t know.” He shakes his head, looking at you. “Do you want to come with me?”

“Me?”

This was a huge step. Going wit Kai to a celebrity event meant that there were going to be photographers, and fans, and eventually speculation about the two of you. Kai was asking lightly, and he was waiting expectantly for an answer. You’d have to make sure you played the part of his childhood friend, as much as it irritated you. Were you ready for this?

“I guess so.” You nod. “I mean, since Boram hasn’t responded.”

“Awesome.” He grins. “I’ll pick you up at six.”

~~~

Even though rain pours down the night of the premiere, you feel exceptionally fabulous tonight. Sera had loaned you a beautiful, gold cocktail dress from her college graduation, and done your hair just for the occasion. Your mom had even slipped you a pair of her pearl earrings. The only thing you had on that actually belonged to you was your underwear, but tonight, that didn’t matter!

When Kai shows up wearing a stunning black tuxedo, his hair slicked over his ear, you swear your heart skips a whole beat. “You look beautiful.” He gapes, holding his arm out.

“Thank you.” You blush. “We should go.”

He fastens something around your wrist. “Here. Sera noona told me that you were wearing gold…” A beautiful set of gold bangles hangs around your wrist, connected by a small white-gold ribbon. It was a bit big, but perfect for tonight. “Kai, you shouldn’t have!”

“I’m your best friend.” He grins, opening an umbrella. “I totally can.”

The lobby of the hotel is filled with people already, and you greet the other members and their dates shyly. Wow, they were definitely more intimidating in person. Everyone is dressed seriously, and Chen is the center of attention.

“Oh, excuse me-”

“Ah!”

You collide with two other people, sending a tray of champagne to the floor. They crash like high-pitched explosions and you immediately stoop down, offering a hand to the waitress you’ve just knocked over. “It’s you.” No. That voice. It couldn’t be-

“Boram!" 

You gasp. She gets to her feet, eyes taking you in all at once. Her hair was piled on top of her head, and a beautiful glittering red gown touched the floor around her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there-“

"Are you okay?” Kai comes over, his voice thick with concern. 

“Fine.” Boram chirps. The two of you accept napkins from a waiter who rushes over to sweep up the broken glass. “I’m fine.”

“We’ll just go get cleaned up.” Boram says quickly, snatching you by the wrist. Truly you had planned to mop up the small spot on your dress with a napkin and move on, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. She drags you around the corner, out of earshot. “What are you doing here with him?” She demands.

“He invited me!”

“I told you to refuse him if he did that! All you had to do was stay out of the way!” Boram snaps. “Now look what you’ve done!”

I’m the one who’s in the way? I was here before you were ever around!” You shriek. “You should be glad Kai took me and not some other girl!”

“Right. I should be glad.” Boram’s voice reaches a dangerous low, and she grins. “You think we all can’t see that you have a crush on Kai? It’s so obvious. You’re telling me that I’m the one in the way when you can’t even confess your own feelings.”

You open your mouth to argue with her, but you’re too stunned. No words come out.

"I knew I was right.” Boram cackles. “Kai would never like someone like you. Why do you think you two are still friends and nothing more?”

Ouch. “That’s not true.” 

“It is.” She says. “I told you to stay out of the way for your own sake, and now you’re the only one who got hurt. You did this to yourself. Now you should leave, and let my enjoy the rest of the night with my boyfriend.”

She snaps her compact closed and turns on her heels, her gown flying out from behind her as she heads back. Hurt didn’t even begin to describe what you felt. Boram had known about your crush the whole time…and she had to be right. If it was that obvious, why hadn’t Kai acted on it. He could have acknowledged you…or stopped you. And here you were looking stupid.

Tears streak your makeup, and you brush them away, squeezing your clutch in your palm. You shouldn’t have come her tonight. The hallway seems empty, but as she turn to leave, something…or, rather, someone, catches you eyes. Kwanghyun. Hiding behind a tall vase of water lilies. You should have known Boram would have someone spying on you.

You make your way back to the ballroom, where Kai stands outside of the doors, Boram at his elbow. “I’m leaving.” You tell him, not even stopping. You can’t look Boram in the eyes. “Wait, what?” He frowns in confusion. “I thought we were all going to go in together.”

"I changed my mind. I’m not going. You should take Boram.”

He grabs your arm and pulls you to him. Normally you wouldn’t think anything of it, but right at this moment, it’s the last thing you need. Your face flames, pink crawling up your neck and ears. “You’ve been crying.” He says, his voice low. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I need to go-”

“Not until you talk to me.”

This was just like Kai. You rip your wrist away from him, causing the bracelet he gave you to crash to the floor. It breaks into four pieces, and you stoop down to collect them. People are looking at you now. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

You give him one last look before ducking outside into the rain.

~~~

Just sleep. You can stay at my place for tonight. I’ll call and tell mom you’re not coming back.

You crack open an eye, almost not believing the sunshine peeking out from between the curtains in the living room. Was it morning already? Why were you sleeping on the floor? Sera had put you here last night…the rain…it was freezing…the movie premiere…oh. 

Great. You roll yourself into a burrito, moaning in misery. So many things had gone wrong last night. Fighting with Boram (for what was probably the last time…you didn’t have it in you to fight anymore), abandoning Kai, and now having to figure out how you were supposed to deal with that.

The sound of Sera rustling around in the kitchen stirs you more. Her ruined cocktail dress hangs out on the porch in the wind, still dripping rainwater and gold glitter. Another thing to add to the list: the money you owed her for that. You moan again, but the sound of a yawn a lot closer to you steals the sound from your throat. 

“Awake already?”

You’re shocked to see a messy-haired Kai snuggled up on the couch, blinking at you. “What are you doing here?” You demand, your voice throaty from sleep. 

“Your sister let me in last night.” He whispers. “I was worried about you." 

His deep morning voice squeezes your heart. “You shouldn’t be here. I’m fine.”

He looks you in the eyes. “Kwanghyun told me what happened.”

"He what?!”

“Between you and Boram.” Kai says quietly. “Last night…and over the past couple of months. Why didn’t you tell me, ______-ah?”

“I didn’t know how.” You whisper back, defenseless. “I didn’t want to come between you two…and it’s not a big deal.”

“It’s not a big deal?” His voice is harsher, angrier. “A broken wrist isn’t a big deal? Throwing drinks on you isn’t a big deal? Threatening you isn’t a big deal?”

"Kai, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. What would you have done?” You protest.

His face softens. “Sorry. I just…I’m so angry. I thought she was better than that, and now she’s hurt you instead.”

“Well, I’m fine. At least, I will be. You should go back to her. There isn’t room for both of us in your heart, Kai. She was right about that much.”

“I know.” He says flatly, and your heart sinks. So he thought that, too. You close your eyes, waiting for the inevitable rejection to come. But instead, soft lips press against yours, your body being pulled forward by the blankets wrapped around it. “I already chose you.” Kai whispers into your mouth.

“But Boram-”

You open your eyes, flustered and confused. “We broke up last night.” He says. “After I found out the truth. I could never be with someone like her. I hope you know that.”

“I know now.”

“It was always you, I think.” He smiles, laughing to himself. “My company kind of pushed Boram on to me because they thought we were good for each other. Clearly they were wrong.”

"And you think we’re right together?” You whisper testing yourself to see if this is a dream.

"I know we are.” He pulls you into a hug. “We always have been." 

**************************************************

Scenario finished! I hope you enjoyed it! It was actually really long, so I broke it up like this! Thanks for reading! ~Jjangpanda

吴亦凡,

How is it possible to fall so hard for someone who I have never met? This year has had its many ups and downs but through it all, we’re still together. All your efforts do not go unseen and once again this year, I thank you for everything you’ve done and given us. You only continue to give and my selfish self only knows how to take. Thank you for lending me your voice when I need comforting, your smile when I need sunshine and thank you for being so fearless. 

You’ve accomplished so much and I’m so proud of everything that you’ve accomplished. Please never stop chasing your dreams. You’ve come a long way but we all know this is only the very beginning of your legacy. We started this journey together, so let’s go to the end together as well.

I apologize for not being able to cover your eyes and eyes from the negative. For someone who only gives, you don’t deserve such negativity. 

Thank you for your unconditional love. Wherever you are, we’ll be there as well. The world awaits you, Dragon. Happy birthday dear Yifan. 

I love you.

anonymous asked:

Can you write something about this? ^_^ AU. Modern times. Jamie and Claire are ex-es but they still love each other even tho they're too proud to admit it. They meet up at a party. Someone flirts with Claire and Jamie gets jealous. A bit of angst with a happy end.

Well this was definitely a unique one. And I definitely made myself cry a few different times. It’s fairly long and it didn’t end the way I thought it would. They’ve both gone silent for the moment, so I’m not sure if/when another piece of this will happen. But I hope you enjoy it!


Why the hell was he here? I didn’t want to look at him, let alone be around him for a handful of hours.

One of my good friends was having a bachelorette party at a local pub and I’d willingly gone. Twelve months of putting my shattered heart back together had me thinking I’d been successful.

Until he’d walked in the pub.

Full military dress, standing as tall as he ever did. None of his natural grace was gone, the air of authority clung to him wherever he went. But he was more reserved than I’d last seen, more cautious. A year on a classified mission in the military would do that to anyone, I supposed.

I prayed silently he wouldn’t see me. That was the last thing I wanted. I had loved that man, once. I’d given him my heart. Once. My love. My body. Everything. We’d been engaged. I’d gotten a wedding dress.

But then that day had happened. The New Year’s party when we’d had a little too much to drink. We’d gotten into some serious conversation and he’d finally told me the truth. He didn’t think himself worthy of me, having my career set and the ability to take care of myself. He wanted to make a name for himself, to make himself a better prospect before we married.

“But I don’t need you to be wealthy,” I’d told him. “I don’t need you to move up the ranks of the military. I just need you!”

“Aye, ye say that now. But when we’ve no heat in our flat because we canna pay the bills? I’ll no’ have that for you, Claire. You deserve more than that. Will ye wait for me?”

“Jamie don’t do this. How long will you be gone?”

“The commission doesna say. Could be a year or more.”

“Then marry me before you leave. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

He’d shaken his head.

“I’ve given you what little I have, Claire. I canna give you a home yet. Not until I return.”

That had been the worst decision of my life. But he wouldn’t budge, stubborn Scottish bastard that he was. I’d given him the choice of marrying me before he disappeared for an unknown length of time or not at all.

Ever since that night, I’d been living a half-life.

There wasn’t much that excited me anymore. My friends had gotten worried about me. I’d forced myself into the habit of going out with them whenever I could, if only to dull the edges of my heartache.

But now…

Damn. He’d seen me.

My heart lurched and clenched in agony.

I began looking for a way out, an exit.

The only way out was though the front, unless I ran to the ladies room.

“Miss Beauchamp?”

The women at my table stopped talking and slowly turned toward me. Most of them knew about my breakdown after Jamie had gone, some had been there to help me. This had the potential for disaster.

“Mister Fraser,” I said shortly.

Anger was the only thing I had. If I looked beneath that, I knew what I’d find.

I’d find those warm morning he’d made me breakfast.

The Christmas when he’d introduced me to his sister.

The night he’d proposed with his mother’s gold band.

Or when he’d given me his mother’s pearl necklace, the first time we made love.

The first time I’d ever made love with anyone.

“Ye look well.”

“Thanks.”

I could feel the eyes of my friends on me. But I couldn’t look up to those blue eyes. I’d begin drowning. Once upon a time, I’d enjoyed that sensation.

“I… Have ye… I… Would ye speak wi’ me in private?”

I couldn’t stop myself as my eyes shot up to his. I gave him the darkest glare I could, even though the tears were beginning to well.

“No. If you’ve anything to say to me, say it here.”

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ. I still loved him.

I. Still. Loved. Him.

If he asked forgiveness I would give it without hesitating. I wanted everything that we’d had back.

He swallowed. It was unusual to find him at a loss for words. He’d always been poetic and very well spoken.

“I’m sorry, Claire,” he said, very softly.

“For what? Making your choice or breaking my heart?”

“I… Both. All of it. Ye didna deserve how I treated you. That I caused you pain has tormented me these last months.”

I stood abruptly, eyes darting to the ladies room. I needed space from him.
God he still smelled like warm sunshine and fresh cut grass.

Pain? You were in torment? I gave you everything! I have one thing to say to you, James Fraser. Go fuck yourself!”

I stormed off, aware that many people were staring at me with open mouths.
I sat in one of the stalls for a long time. I wept and hit the walls, desperate to stop feeling the rage of emotions he’d caused.

No single person had ever made me feel so much so strongly before.

After an extreme amount of time, I got up and checked myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and swollen, my nose was running, but other than that it wasn’t too bad. I wet a paper towel and held it over my eyes for a few moments before smoothing my wild hair and going out to my friends. I ignored their questions and sat back down.

“We’re out of drinks,” someone said.

“I’ll go get us another round,” I volunteered, painfully aware of Jamie’s eyes still on me.

I had no idea where he was in the room, but I could still feel him like we were magnets.

At the bar, I ordered another round of shots for the girls and a glass of whiskey for myself.

“Whiskey, is it?” said a smooth voice I didn’t recognize.

Turning, I smiled at the man who held a glass up to me in toast.

“Yes,” I answered. “I’m rather fond of it.”

“As am I.”


***


She was even more beautiful than he’d remembered. He’d taken a photo of her with him when he’d gone. Every night, he’d pray for her, pray that she was well.

He hadn’t wanted to go out tonight, but his best friend (and brother-in-law) had asked for a night out. Ian had lost his leg during their secret mission. Jamie made a promise to Jenny that he’d bring Ian home, and he had. The physical therapy after the loss had been difficult, to Jamie’s knowledge, but Jenny had been there for it. No one knew the cost of that promise and that Jamie had paid it, not even Ian.

Ian came and sat down in a booth far from the women Claire had been with.

“What’s the matter wi’ ye, man? Ye look like ye’ve seen a ghost!”

“I have.”

“Jamie, lad, I was only joking.”

Jamie shook his head.

She’s here.”

Ian flinched like he’d taken a blow, his hand rubbing absently at his stump. He was still being fitted for a prosthetic and it hadn’t arrived yet.

“Ye mean… Claire?”


“Aye. Who else would I bloody mean?”

“Ye dinna need to bite my head off about it, man.”
Jamie’s head dropped into his hands.


“I’m sorry, Ian. Ye didna deserve that. It’s just… I didna think she’d be here. I thought… After what happened…”

“Aye. She’s stayed here, got a job at the hospital here and everything. Jenny’s been keeping an eye on her.”

“I thought she would leave. She’d spoken of going to America, but…”

“She couldna leave Scotland, Jamie. Ye broke her heart, but she couldna let ye go.”

Jamie looked up at his best friend.

“I should have married her afore I left.”

“Aye. Ye should have. You’re a damned fool for leaving her.”

Over the white noise of the pub, he heard a door squeak open. Without looking, he knew she was emerging from her solitude. She always needed to be alone after she had an emotional outburst.

He couldn’t not look at her. Seeing her again made him realize that he hadn’t taken a full breath in over a year. His heart was beating in a normal rhythm now, not lopsided and wrong like it had been since his departure.

She went to the bar and leaned against it. Ordering straight whiskey, no doubt. 

The woman loved Scotch whiskey.

His throat began to close as he suddenly recalled the taste of it on her lips.

Then some bastard started talking to her. The man was in a well cut suit, his brown hair neatly trimmed and combed. He was smiling at her as his eyes wandered over her body.

NO!

That body didn’t belong to him! It belonged- Jamie shook his head.

Her body didn’t belong to him anymore either. It was hers and hers alone. He’d given up that privilege a long time ago.

“Is it too much, Jamie? Do ye need to go back home?”

“I… I need air. I’ll be back. Order me somethin’ to drink, aye?”

“Strong?”

Jamie glanced over his shoulder back at her just once.

“Aye,” Ian said. “Strong it is.”

Jamie left for the front door and rushed into the cool night air. He stumbled into the dark alley and put his hands on the side of the pub, trying to fight down the strain of emotion.

He wanted her so badly. He needed her. God, what had he done!


***


Sudden movement had me looking away from the visiting professor. Jamie was storming out of the pub, his face a perfect mask.

But the glimpse I’d seen in his eyes told me that he was about to be violently ill. It was the same look he’d gotten when he’d taken me out on a loch in a boat once.

“I’m sorry,” I said, smiling back at the man beside me. “Frank, was it?”

“Yes, madam. Frank Randall.”

“It’s lovely to meet you. If you’re staying near here, perhaps I’ll see you around?”

“You can find me here tomorrow night,” he said with a proud smile.

He thought I would go home with him if he worked hard enough. It was written clearly in his eyes. I’d met men like him before in a pub like this. At a different time in my life, I might have gone with him. But after you have a love like I had, a meaningless fling wasn’t enough.

“Perhaps I’ll see you tomorrow, Frank.”

He gave me a nod and I set the tray of drinks down at the table before heading outside.

I didn’t know why I was doing this. I was angry with Jamie. He broke my heart, left me alone holding the pieces.

But I really couldn’t stand seeing him in pain.

I heard the retching before I found him. He was leaning against the wall of the pub, vomiting violently.

“Can’t hold your liquor anymore?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest.

“It isna the liquor and ye ken it. It’s her.”

Clearly he didn’t realize that it was her that was speaking to him.

I said nothing.


“I still love her, Ian. Worse than I did before. I’m still in love wi’ her. God! I’ve ruined both our lives! She could be happy, maybe, wi’ somebody else. But I ne’er will. My da told me I’d ken the right woman when I found her. And I did. But Christ, Ian! What have I done?”

“You’ve made a right mess of things, I’d say,” I told him.

His head shot up, eyes wide.

“Jesus God, Claire! I didna… I thought you…”

“Is that true?” I asked, fighting back everything I was feeling.

“Every word of it. I’ve never lied to ye before.”

“You’re still in love with me?”


“Aye. I couldna love another. I gave you my heart a long time ago and didna take it back when I left.”

“No,” I said, my voice cracking. “Because you took mine instead.” I brushed hastily at my cheeks.
“Damn you, James Fraser!”

“I’m so sorry, Sa- Claire. So very sorry.”


He’d nearly called me Sassenach.

I hadn’t heard that word, with the affection he always gave it, since the last time I’d seen him.

“Jamie, I…”

He was crying too. Damn it! I couldn’t stand to see him weep either!

“I’ve missed you,” I finally said.

“Truly?”
I looked down at my shoes and nodded.

“Yes. I… I still love you too. I tried to stop. But that was like trying to stop breathing.”

He wiped his mouth of the back of his sleeve and came over to me. My tears were flowing freely now as he dropped to his knees.

“Could ye ever find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me sa… Sassenach?”

Sinking slowly to my own knees, I put my hand on his chest right over his rapidly beating heart.

“Weren’t you listening? I don’t have my own heart anymore. You have it. But I forgive you, Jamie. You and your damned Scottish stubbornness.”

His arms locked around me like iron and he crushed me to him.

“I will spend the rest of my miserable life making it up to ye, Claire. If ye’ll have me. Christ I’ve missed ye so!”

The part of me that had gone with him, to wherever he’d been, returned to me with such a force I was knocked back. He made a cry, as if in pain, and held me tighter.

“Please,” he begged. “Please, mo nighean donn. Stay wi’ me for a moment more.”

“I wasn’t the one that left, Jamie.”

“And I have regretted that every day since,” he said. “I wrote to ye. As often as I might.”

“I never got any letters.”

“Aye. I couldna send them. Not to Jenny either. I have them, if ye want them. They, along wi’ what little I still have, are yours.”

He pushed me back then, quite suddenly, and looked me dead in the eye.

“Will ye go home wi’ me?”

I saw the hope in his eyes an I knew it wasn’t because he wanted to make love. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he might. All he wanted was for me to share his life.

“Did ye keep the things I gave ye? My mother’s things?”

I looked away from him. My knees were beginning to ache and I hated crying.

“C-Claire. Did ye?”

“Yes,” I barked a him. I stood then, dusting off my knees. “I did keep those bloody things. I put them in a box to send Jenny half a dozen times but I couldn’t do it. I don’t wear them, mind you. But… Getting rid of them meant…”

“Getting rid o’ them meant I’d never fetch them back,” he finished softly, also getting to his feet.

“I tried to find someone else,” I blurted. “I tried dating other men. But they all seemed… Incomplete somehow.”

“Because ye had a true love that I threw to shit.”

“If we do this again,” I said, worried my heart and mind were already working together. “It has to be real. I can’t… I can’t go through that a second time. I won’t survive.”

“If ye agree to let yourself love me again, Claire, ye willna have to. We’ll be married as soon as ye say ye want it. No more waiting.”

“You won’t be sent off on some secret mission?”

Something grew dark in his eyes.

“No. I’ve been honorably discharged. I’m free now, to be whatever sort of man I want to be.”

That darkness hadn’t been in his eyes before. What was he hiding?

“And what sort of man is that?”

“The man ye love.”

I couldn’t keep myself back any longer. I missed so much the intimacy we’d had, the life we’d begun building together.

“Alright. I’ll go home with you. But don’t you dare thing you’re getting in my trousers that easily. Let me get my purse and coat.”

“Nothing about you has ever been easy, Sassenach,” he said with a faint smile. “Nothing worthwhile ever is.”


***


She’d agreed. She was coming over to his flat. He could show her then, give her the letters he’d written, show her the weight he carried. Just to have someone to tell…

He shrugged, as if trying to adjust the fitting of his coat. He needed to tell Ian where he was going.

Inside the pub, Jamie saw Claire talking with the man at the bar again, but he paid them no mind.

“There ye are, man!” Ian said. “I was about to go looking for ye.”

“I have to go, Ian.”

“It looks like she’s leaving, Jamie. We can stay here.”

“No, she’s going wi’ me.”

Ian’s brows shot up nearly to his hairline before he started smiling.

“Is she now? Oh Jenny will be delighted to have her good-sister back!”

“Hush! It’s just to talk things o’er. I owe her that much.”

“Aye. Ye do. And perhaps ye can tell her whatever it is ye refuse to tell me or Jenny.”

Jamie stared at him.

“Wha-”

“Aye. We both ken something’s the matter wi’ ye. If ye dinna want to share wi’ us, that’s fine. But ye need somebody, Jamie. Ye ar’na meant to do this life alone.”

“Ian…”

“Go on. Your lass is waiting.”

Jamie turned and breathed a deep sigh.

The Bible said the truth would set you free. He could only hope that was still true and that this truth he was about to share with Claire would free him.