give me sleepless nights

Adopted

The extraction took a little effort. Luckily Kallus prepared to leave at a moment notice.

The phantom slid into the destroyer. Kanan and Zeb provided cover fire will Kallus sprinted across the dock before throwing himself on to the ship.

They made into hyperspace, not a second to soon.

They docked back on the Ghost without problem. The only trouble was getting Kallus settled. He couldn’t go to the Rebellion, they’d only hold him indefinitely for information. Going to live anywhere else would be suicide since he was now a wanted fugitive.

Zeb put in a good word and Kallus moved into Ezra’s bunk, while Ezra got Sabines old room, until she returned.

Hera was in the cockpit inputting the coordinates for their next stop.

“Excuse Ms. Syndulla…” Kallus knocked lightly on the wall next to the door.

“Captain, actually.”

“I apologize. I ha-”

“What do you even want Kallus.” Hera turns on him. Annoyed and angry.

“I’m not i sure know what you mean.”

“You helped hurt my family. You’ve hunted my family. I don’t give a damn about what you did to me. The sleepless nights. The worry. Thinking about what I’d do if I lost them.”

Hera advances on Kallus, and he backs away slowly.

“This is my family. Zeb, Sabine and Ezra may not be my children but they might as well be. So don’t think you can come aboard my ship and act like your one of us. You might have helped out Zeb and Sabine, but you could be playing us. If you dare, if you even think about hurting one of them I will end you in a second.”

Kallus is halfway out the door by this points still attempting to back away from the angry Twi'lek. “I’m sorry.”

“You better be…now why are you even here?”

Kallus swallows, and pauses a moment before digging in his bag. He pulls out the Kalikori and holds it out to Hera. She takes it from him carefully. “I…I thought you would want it back…Ezra pointed out that it belonged to you and so I stole it before I esc-”

He’s cut off by Hera throwing her arms around him.

“Thank you.”

“Your most welcome Captain Syndu-”

She let him go, “You call me Hera.”

The spark in my life has been extinguished. Everything now is dark. My muse, my spirit & my soul have left me. Can’t sleep, can’t eat. Thoughts running wild in my mind, demons playing games, breaking me up. I hate these feelings. Feels like there is no escaping. I need a light to break this darkness. I always wanted too much & did too little. But the harder I’d try the farther I’d fall. I’m getting tired trying to find any peace, or seeking some sort of truth.
Death is fine. Give me mine.
Give me peace. Let me sleep.

To whom it may concern,

Thank you for letting me go.
Our time was everlasting
in my heart,
but oh so limited in yours.
Thank you for showing me
my worth
by way of not being there,
for not finding me when I was
lost,
not helping me up when I
fell,
not drying the tears from my eyes
when all my walls
were torn down.
Thank you for not believing
in me,
and not being proud to
call me yours.
For not listening,
for not giving,
for incorrectly loving me.
Thank you for the sleepless nights,
and the countless hours
I would wait by the phone.
Thank you for telling me
sweet nothings,
how thoughtful it was of you
to play a charade.
Thank you for not accepting me
the way you said you would,
for who I am,
for the harshest words you
ever said,
with lines including
“Stand up,”
“I’m leaving,”
“This is it.”
Thank you for watching me
fall and for looking the other way.
For being mean and
unloving,
unforgiving,
selfish.
Thank you for showing me
what love is not
and for ripping out my
only heart
again and again.
Thank you for letting me
pick up my pieces
by myself
because I am stronger
than what I was before.
Thank you for not loving me
because I deserve
so
much
more.

hey T if you’re out there I just wanted to thank you for all the wonderful friends I’ve made on here because of you, for all the laughs shared, for the sleepless nights, for giving me the courage to write more, for the happy tears, for always being there for us, and for continually cheering us on. You’re the best there is, keep doing you. Love you 💞

the meaning of

I’m so forgetful, destroying our memento in mourning.
Oh, our time wasn’t wasted because it meant the world to me.
No-one says “I love you” quite like you do, words fuck up the meaning.
So give me more sleepless nights and a second of teeth clashing
for the hours of quiet affection, and let me do so effortlessly -
to mask my intentions with all these false pretenses.
All my words lose their meaning. 
Please don’t tell me that this vague, aimless dream is all we have.
Let the darkness looming be just as much the light which I have hidden.
Let me be sweet and caring while the whole world is glaring and teeth-baring. Without contrast, we’d never know the difference.
Never let hatred blind you and don’t ever think happiness is only behind you.
If I have to, I’d even remind you.
I’ll say words until they lose their meaning.

Slippin’ Away

Originally posted by theaziatix

Slippin’ Away
[Sequel to Go│Flowsik returns home after five years]

♫ ♪ So do we try to make this work or do we part ways
Cuz as much as it hurts, what we have’s worth all the pain flowing through the blood in my veins
And it’s not enough, feel the melody of love through the beat of my heart
We can never be apart, from the lands to the seas, to the stars, wherever you are ♪ 🎶

You moved the tables along the sides of the restaurant so you could mop the floors properly. It was tedious but no one else in the restaurant gave a damn. “Don’t forget to lock up” the chef gave you a little pat on the back before he headed out. “I hope you brought an umbrella” he opened up his seeing the sudden downpour.

“I did~” you chimed happily waving him off. You really didn’t but your place wasn’t too far. So what if you got a little sick, it wasn’t exactly going to put a downer on your social life. You placed your headphones in and mopped the floor.

About half way through you heard the chime of the restaurant door. You turned around and sighed. “We’re closed.” as your eyes met with the stranger standing by the door you dropped the mop in shock. It had to have been about five years since you’d seen those eyes. “Jay…”

Keep reading

this, at least,
is familiar. the dull lull
between 1am and 5am:
the quiet pocket of space
where nothing is expected of me,
the ache behind eyes,
the slope of a body
that might be mine,
where i am nothing
but soft moonlight and
the hesitant things i whisper
to the softness.
—  efb | introspection, 5 of 52 writings
3

Second German Interview with James for Cosmopolitan Germany.
Translation: Enjoy :-)

Now Honestly, James McAvoy

Every month, Cosmopolitan Editor Melanie Jassner talks to men we really like. This time she talks to James McAvoy about Magic.

Even though, the Scot, James McAvoy 35, is one of the most versatile actors Hollywood, he has lately been showing another side, as badass and Action Hero (like in Wanted, Filth or X-Men). Now, almost seven years after Atonement, he returns back to the cinemas with an emotional movie; “The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby” (from 27.11). The Story tells about a New York couple, Eleanor and Connor (Jessica Chastain and James McAvoy) deeply in love, and due to tragic circumstances, their love is put to the test.                       
We meet in a New Yorker Hotel, in a suite in the 41st Floor. McAvoy, who´s talent of speech is praised by directors, speaks with a distinctive Scottish accent. In the Meantime he rubs his bright blue eyes:” I am so sorry, yesterday was the Premier party and I only slept two hours last night.”

Cosmopolitan:   Mister McAvoy, everyone who saw Atonement knows you are just made for romantic roles; nonetheless you waited seven years before you took another romantic part in a movie. Why?

The roles I was offered were no good. I love sentimental romantic movies. They trigger the same feelings as a love song: you want to cry but at the same time feel comforted, because you know that other people go through the same thing.

Cosmopolitan:   What was so special in “The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby” that you decided to take the part?

The manner, how the movie treated the theme of love.  It is honest but at the same time poetic. Love is often complicated. Sometimes you hurt each other, even if you love the other so much. That happened to Eleanor and Connor. You feel the two are meant for each other, but they still drift apart. Why that is, you learn at the end. But at the same time the tragic resonates with something magical.

Cosmopolitan:   What is magical for you?

Something you can’t explain rationally.  Like a spark which touches you deep inside, in very different stages. I, for example, find it fascinating, that you can meet certain people and feel an attraction which you can´t explain. The special thing is, those magical moments usually happen when you least expect them.

Cosmopolitan:   When was your last little magical moment?

This morning, when I achieved to get out of bed after only two hours of sleep. (laughs) Now seriously: When shooting “Eleanor Rigby” I even had two.  Firstly: There is one scene where Jessica and I are kissing in New York Park at night.  Suddenly, fireflies start whirring around us; In the middle of New York.  (At this point McAvoy want to know what Firefly means in German- “Glühwürmchen”. He pronounces the word immediately error-free, despite the two “Üs”.)

Cosmopolitan:   And the Second one?

Jessica and I talked in a shooting break about our favourite actor. Mine is Sam Rockwell. Without word of a lie, a minute later we saw Sam Rockwell on the other side of the street. I said: “Oh my God”. Jessica:”Let´s say Hello”. I said:”No”. She then grabbed me by my arm and pulled me across the street till we stood in front of him. Jessica:”Tell him”. I said:”You´re my favourite actor”. Sam replied in his deep voice:” Oh that´s great. Thanks”. That was for me a magical New York moment. This is a magical city. Something can happen any minute.

Cosmopolitan:  But not in London where you live?

You have to search much more. The Problem with these magical moments are, through our normal daily routine we don’t have the time or the senses to detect them.

Cosmopolitan:  As a Hollywood do you have a normal Daily routine? You certainly have somebody who cleans cooks and does your grocery shopping…..

No, as far as that’s concerned I am down to earth. The reason is that I have been working as an actor for the last 19 years and slowly being able to live upon it. My brain has had the chance to adapt to my career. The danger of being conceited was never an issue. I found the time between movies takes to pay my bills, fix the roof if necessary, cook…

Cosmopolitan:  You really cook at home?

Yes and I like to. Before my acting career I worked as a baker’s trainee. When I am in New York I always visit my favourite coffee shop “Babycakes” on the Lower Eastside and buy myself a Donut. My wife does the baking that´s not my thing, but I like to cook especially stews.

Cosmopolitan:  So you are not only a great actor you are also a great husband.

I have many sides! (laughs) Sometime I am just a Daddy and sometimes I feel like a Teenager. I grew up with my grandparents. Whenever I visited them I always saw the child in me, even now at 35. My wife always says:”You doing it again, you are acting like a Teenager”.  Then I realise it myself and have to laugh about it. It´s amazing that, depending on who you are with, you change into a different version of yourself.

Cosmopolitan:  I read somewhere you were considering to be a Missionary.

Yes, but not because I am a strict catholic, but because it seemed at the time the best idea to travel around the world. Suddenly my luck with women changed which was not the case beforehand. I enjoyed it so much that I definitely didn’t want to live in celibate. So I stayed in Glasgow and studied acting.

Cosmopolitan:  And then you played into the hearts of even more woman. Isn’t it hard to stay faithful?

James (laughs) Well, I have a wife, so I am monogamic. My heart also belongs to my son and my grandparents. As far as my friends are concerned, I am not so gracious with my feeling. This is a result of getting older. I found out that my energy is finite.

Cosmopolitan:   Even though, you sometimes feel like a Teenager?

Yes, but it´s only for a short period of time. With the birth of my son, four years ago, my light-heartedness completely flew out of the window, but that´s a good thing. I don’t want to be as jaunty as I was before. Sometimes it´s important that some worries give you sleepless nights. The only thing, which makes me sad is, the older you get the more careful and pragmatic you get. I never use to think about boundaries, everything was possible, but with age comes the fear, which says: Life is terminal.

Cosmopolitan:  That´s the reason you should try to live as many magical moments as possible. Right?

Definitely! You have to make some space. When I played in “The Chronicles of Narnia” I use the free time between takes to run by myself, from the East to the West coast. That was so liberating and unique. Of course, you can go to the cinema to experience Magic, but for me it happens in real life. Movies are here to remind you what an incredible place our world is. When we watch movies or listen to music, we are able to pause the time for a moment, to see ourselves. They are Magic- Triggers.

Cosmopolitan:  De La Soul sings in a song: “Three is a magic number”.  Do you also have a number that has a special meaning for you?

Yes, 27. It´s not as if being 27 was the best year of my life, but for some unusual reason the number has a good flair.

Cosmopolitan:  What can you do now well, that you couldn´t do with 27?

Let things go. You learn that with the job. You can be rejected as an actor even when you are successful.  Besides, for every positive criticism there is always someone who hates you. I am used to be rejected und just say to myself: “Who cares”. Saying Goodbye has always been hard for me.

Cosmopolitan:   In which context?

For some reason it ´s really hard for me to say goodbye to another person. I don’t know why, I think it lies in the Family. I try to prolong this moment as long as possible, but causes even more suffering.

Cosmopolitan: In “The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby” it´s also about being able to submerge, become invisible.  Is there a moment where you want to be invisible?

At Award ceremonies when I am nominated but don’t win.  Or at a movie premiere when I, for the first time, watch it with an audience and realize: “Oh F*** that movie really sucks”.  The lights go on and the audience applaud and I just think:” Oh my God I gotta get outta here, now.”  It would be great to be invisible in moments like that.

Every month Melanie Jassner asks one of our readers Questions:
This Time: Do you have any musical talent?
I use to play the guitar and the piano. In Drama School I also was in the choir and sung Baritone, and I wasn´t too bad. But honestly, the last time I sang was 14 years ago.

familiarsam  asked:

imagine hot professor sam's students deliberately doing poorly on exams because they know he's a caring prof and will want to see them after class to discuss their work. he might even suggest private tutoring. and if it means they may have to take the course again next year, they're okay with that ;)

But the down side is that poor Hot Prof Sam gets increasingly worried and insecure about his teaching abilities. He talks to his colleagues in the departmental lounge: “I just don’t understand. They all give very intelligent responses in class: they’re actually eager to talk. But when it comes to the exams they just fall apart. I mean… I make myself available after class. My office hours are always booked up. I’ve gone over and over it and held so many extra revision sessions but it feels like the more extra teaching I provide, the more of them seem to need it. I don’t know what to do.”

His colleagues exchange knowing glances. Eventually one of them takes pity and advises him to talk seriously to the failing students. “Tell them that you’re disappointed in them,” she says to him. “Do that thing with your eyebrows.”

Sam doesn’t really understand but he takes her advice, speaking to the individual students whose failures have most surprised him. “I just really believed you’d do better,” he says. “It worries me. I blame myself. It’s giving me sleepless nights.” (This is true: he’s very conscientious.)

The students look stricken. Although Sam’s not sure he did ‘the eyebrow thing’ right, their grades improve with staggering velocity.

Still

I was so ready to love you
Though we were oceans apart
I knew right then that it was you
I was convinced that it was you
Meeting you was not an accident
It meant something to me
It still does

But my heart keeps hope
That one day you will be back
I have to believe that you will
There’s just too much in me
That still want to give to you

There are nights
Sleepless nights
Where I just think of you
And I remember you
Your heart and your smile

I miss you
There are days
When tears just keep flowing
Silent days
Where I just want to keep waiting
For you to come back

I still have hope
My heart believes it’s true
Things happen for a reason
And I cannot give up
Because you’re worth fighting for


I was so ready to love you
Because I was convinced it was you
You meant so much to me
You still do

The Civil Wars lyrics starter sentences

“I never meant to get us in this deep.”

“Where’d you learn to lie the way you do?“

“I never meant for this to mean a thing.”

“All your perfectly delivered lies, they don’t fool me.”

“Show me slowly what I only know the limits of..”

“Trying to live without your love is like one long sleepless night.”

“Give me the burden, give me the blame.”

“Oh we’re a pretty, pretty pair…yes, we are..”

“In the meantime, I’ll be waiting…for ___ years and ___ more.”

“You brightened every day with your sweet smile.”

“I’m a dead man walking.”

“I just want your arms wrapped around me and this moment before it runs out..”

“Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone…”

“I don’t have a choice….but I still choose you.”

“Stop saying those sweet things you know I like to hear….”

“I can’t pull you closer than this.”

“You always said you wanted me to be happy..and happiness was having you here with me..”

“You and I, we’re just pressing flowers…they are dying but they’re ours…”

“I hear the secrets that you keep when you’re talking in your sleep.”

“Tell me it’s nothing, try to convince me that I’m not drowning…”

“Forget me not, my dear, my darling, forget me not, my love…”

“Why are you so far from me? In my arms is where you ought to be.”

“Give me one night with you.”

“You’ll always be the only one, even when you’re gone….”

“Won’t you dance me to the end of love?”

“How long will you make me wait? I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“Tell me that you’ll always be true and you’ll be the only one for me.”

“I’ve fallen for someone who’s nothing like you.”

“I wish you were the one that got away.”