Dear Lady Blanche: I recently came from the Grove to one of your human taverns and heard about the sex. I wish to experience the sex, and seen as the people in the tavern said you must had it with half of Divinity's Reach, I figured you must be the best at it. So I was wondering if you'd let me join your harem to learn of the sex and become as good at it as you. I hope to hear from you soon so we can get started. Yours, Sapling on the streets, tossing salad in the sheets.
Dear Tossing Salad,
First off, what is this nonsense you heard of me having a harem? I demand names! I will pay extremely well for any names you give me. It is utter fiction, I tell you!
But my dear, I don’t quite know how to tell you this but… you are a plant. Humans are flesh, yes? So you see, you simply must not try to copulate with any humans. Its very VERY wrong, you see. If i hear such debauchery is happening, I will go straight to the Ministry Guard and report it for indecency!
Oh yes, in case you didn’t know… the Seraph are incompetent and only the Ministry Guard are of any use these days. Ask anyone.
Hoping you get arrested,