give me back my virginity

shizaya au scenarios
  1. shizuo and izaya work for different companies that have a softball game and izaya’s not the type of guy you’d expect to hit the ball that hard so shizuo’s far out and just staring up at the clouds and suddenly bam ball comes and hits him in the face and shizuo’s got a black eye and he wakes up with izaya hovering over him and he’s smirking ‘you don’t catch a ball with your cheek, number 27-san…’
  2. shizuo’s just this guy that hangs around the park on a bench just strumming on his guitar and humming quietly and izaya starts going there more often because the blond guy with the voice of an angel is interesting and he thinks he’s homeless so one day he offers him some money and shizuo looks so confused. ’…what’s that’ 'for food.’ 'uh… thanks but… i have money…’ 'you don’t need to–’ 'i’m just here because my roommate’s a light sleeper and he sleeps during the day.’ ’…oh. well, you should get nicer clothes.’ 'YOU–!!!’
  3. college au where shizuo gets out of a messy break up and manages to be convinced by tom to go to a frat party that izaya’s at because he manages to get in everywhere and saves izaya from some guys that want to beat him up for something crappy izaya did so they go home together because izaya’s all 'i’ll thank you properly at home, shizu-chan’ but to his immense surprise shizuo just falls asleep and izaya’s never gone home with someone that didn’t want sex so next thing shizuo knows this kid with black hair and red eyes is following him around when all he wants to do is sulk over his ex
  4. shizuo is a plumber and izaya keeps flushing random things down his toilet to clog it so he can call shizuo over. except he realizes maybe he should’ve clogged the sink because one day shizuo brings shinra over because “uh maybe you want a doctor to check out your uh… stomach. and stuff…” “HI IZAYA” “shut up shinra”
  5. a drunken one night that was supposed to be only one night after celebrating completing a huge project at the company they’re both starting out at but the next day izaya wakes up and shizuo’s still there and he looks so angry “give me back my virginity you shit” “ah… sorry, shizu-chan, no refunds…” “what the–i fuckin’ paid??” “ah. that was a joke. i forgot shizu-chan’s dense.”

anonymous asked:

Sterek where stiles goes home with Derek from college during break and meets the hales

“So, Stiles,” Derek’s creepy-ass uncle says, taking pausing to take a sip of his wine. “I hear you finally got our Derek to have fun. From my understanding it was a very natural fun. You made a man out of my nephew.”

Stiles starts choking on his mashed potatoes, so Laura starts smacking him on the back. Cora is laughing so hard milk spurts out her nose, and well Derek? Derek is freaking out internally. Or at least Stiles assumes so. He’s a little busy choking to death via starch. His poor dad is going to have read tomorrow’s headlines. SHERIFF’S SON CHOKES DIES FROM MASHED POTATOES and isn’t that just pathetic? His dad deserves better.

“Everyone goes through a gay phase in college, don’t they?” Peter says with a smirk. 

“Peter,” Talia harshly cuts out. “Be polite to our guest. Or have a semblance of geniality.”

“That’s getting pretty deep inside him,” Laura mumbles, retracting her hand now that Stiles isn’t choking. Instead, he’s gulping down water to salvage what’s left of his poor throat.

“Which I’m sure our dear Derek has done to Stiles many a time,” Peter doesn’t hesitate to say right as Stiles tries to eat the potatoes again.

Fucking potatoes. Stiles is going to die and all that his boyfriend’s family will remember of him is that Stiles took his virginity and then promptly died.

“Or maybe it’s the other way around.” Uncle Scar (yes, it’s a Lion King reference. Peter is on par with Scar) takes another sip of wine, eyeing Stiles considering. Then his eyes travel down then back and up and hold up a second. Did Peter just check him out? Is Derek’s uncle into Stiles.

This fucking dinner.

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