give me a coffee

I cant wait until the day I wake up and sit on the kitchen countertop all pissed off because I’m not a morning person but then my wife comes walking up and stands between my legs and gives me a cup of coffee in a mug that says “good morning asshole” and kisses me sweetly but when she goes to walk away I wrap my legs around her so she cant escape and even though I’m still grumpy because Im awake shes so damn beautiful and the biggest fucking ray of sunshine so I just melt and smile at her in awe…ugh I cant wait for that.

spice up those coffee shop AUs
  • sure, i used to be a regular, but i literally haven’t been to this coffee shop in two years. how do you still remember my order??
  • you wrote my name down wrong the first time i came here and i didn’t correct you, but you’re really sweet and now i don’t know how to tell you you’ve been calling me by the wrong name for the past month.
  • i’m the manager and one of the other employees keeps drawing amazing art on the chalkboards, but i can’t figure out who it is?? i’ve been keeping a meticulous schedule to figure out whose shift it appears during
  • i work opening shift, but whenever i get there at 5:30 somehow you’re always already there, looking flawlessly put together. you haven’t even had your coffee yet. tell me your secrets.
  • we’re coworkers but we work different shifts and communicate exclusively through post-it notes. maybe i should just give you my phone number already so you can tell me more about the lady who ordered a latte for her ten year old.
  • you and your friend always sit at the table a couple down from mine and gossip in [insert language here], which happens to be a language i’m currently learning. i’ve been eavesdropping to try and improve my listening comprehension and oh my god are you actually talking about how hot i am??? 
  • i love hot chocolate So Much but it’s embarrassing to be the adult ordering hot chocolate at a coffee shop, so do you think you could announce that it’s a different drink when you’re giving it to me??
  • at the local coffee shop, there’s a chess set set up in one corner of the shop and every morning i move one piece. later in the day, someone else always moves a piece too. i’m dying to know who i’m playing against.
  • i’m a new hire and you’re trying to show me how to use the espresso machine. i actually already know how to use it, but i’m pretending to be incompetent so that you’ll keep talking to me. please don’t fire me.
3

~MC: Are you alright, sir?!

Jumin: G-give me a moment…

based off of @promiscuous-jalapeno‘s barista MC x jumin HC

EDIT: Quality dropped, im so sorry! high res if you click on them individually~

2tired2care  asked:

Pst hi I LOVE YOUR FICS you have no idea how much they give me life <3 <3 I came across this really cute (and frankly heartbreaking) AU: "[burgler gently wakes me] you live like this?" (stolen from a post I saw on fb) and I kinda just need Stiles to do everything he can to make Derek's life better? THANK YOU SO MUCH :D

It IS frankly heartbreaking… which means I’m totally into it.

(now also on AO3!)

***

Derek definitely went to sleep alone. He always does, these days. It doesn’t explain why he drifts awake in the middle of the night to the feeling of someone lightly poking his shoulder.

It’s probably not a good sign that when he opens his eyes and sees a gangly teenage boy in a red hoodie and grubby-looking black fingerless gloves standing over him, he doesn’t startle. His claws don’t come out; his eyes don’t flash. He just feels… resigned.

“You live like this?” the guy says, soft. Almost pitying. “I mean. You actually live here?”

That seems too obvious, not to mention too insulting, to merit a response. “What are you doing here?” Derek asks instead. His voice comes out low and rough. This is the first time in days he’s had any reason to say anything. “This is private property.”

The guy shifts on his feet and sticks his hands under his armpits uncomfortably. “Okay, straight to the awkward questions. I like that.”

Keep reading

Magic student AU

Person A is a student of magic (Potion brewing, Herbs, spells whatever). And is trying to get the hang of magic but things keep going terribly wrong.

-Person A practicing spells/potion making and accidently shrinking themself or other people.

-A accidently burning their eye brows off.

-A accidently summoning B, a demon.

-Accidently turning themselves into a pigeon and trying to tell their room mate.

- “I enchanted your paint brush to make things that you draw come to life. What do you mean there is now a dragon in our backyard???” -Person A is the magnificently unlucky.

-”I shall now make this object float- whoops I just uprooted your house and it is now hovering in the air.”

- Person A wanting their plants to grow quicker and quickly realising that was a mistake as they have just recreated the beanstalk from jack and the beanstalk.

-Working as a vet is hard, so I enchanted your pet so it could talk now it wont stop screaming profantities at me as I am a vet, it’s worse enemy.

-”My endless coffee mug got knocked over as I left the house and I came back to find my house drenched in coffee- can I please stay with you?”

Nothing makes me less sympathetic toward a character than a “they have been wronged and therefore can never do wrong” attitude when writing them. Like, why is the notion that everyone should be responsible for their own choices such a radical idea to so many (particularly where female characters are concerned)?


And I’m not talking about writers acknowledging pain or trauma, but rather excusing bad choices entirely. Like to the point of having even characters who would have a right to resent their choices rushing to reassure them that “they can do no wrong because they have been wronged,” nevermind if those same characters suffered their own trauma as a direct result of the aforementioned bad choices. 


Essentially they’re just an eternal victim who doesn’t seem to have learned anything from their life experiences or to have grown as a person, and I don’t find that admirable or sympathetic.

  • Me: *waiting for drink in Starbucks*
  • Me: *putting on makeup*
  • Guy: You know nice guys don't like when girls wear so much makeup.
  • Me: *without looking up* Nice guys like you?
  • Guy: Well, yea.
  • Me: Have you ever considered that's why we wear it?
  • Girl behind me: *spits out coffee laughing*
  • Guy: Um.
  • Me: *deadpan look* Nice girls like me don't give a fuck what you like.

okay, i’ve never posted this video on my tumblr, but right now is as good as anytime. this was back in early February i believe.
-
STORYTIME.

Okay so, apparently Diggs was in my city (Vegas) for a conference and stayed at the hotel that my dad works at - the Bellagio.
Now, my dad is a mini bar attendant there, which means he goes up to rooms and checks on alcohol, coffee, etc.
So he’s called up to this vacant room, and the person says “Come in !!”
And so he walks in, and he told the guy that he was just here to check on his alcohol and coffee. The guy goes “That’s fine, just give me a sec !” (or something like that)
And so while my dad was checking everything, the guy comes out, just buckling up his pants because he just finished taking a shower (can you IMAGINE - seeing him shirtless. IN THE FLESH. my dad said he’s still ripped. i mean. duh. when isn’t he ?¿ he better not stop being ripped tbh. oh wait, back to the stORY,,)
So my dad turns around.
Then the guy turns around.
Then gives him a smile.
Mind you, my dad’s also a fan of Diggs and Rafa, so he had to take a double take to realize that THIS was the dude.
Then my dad goes, “Hey, you’re Daveed Diggs !”
And then Daveed goes, “Yeah, man !” with THAT bright, big smile on his face (YOU KNOW THE ONE.)
Now, Daveed (and some of the obc probably) doesn’t really like to talk about Hamilton (which is understandable, I relate), so BLESS that my dad said “Yeah, my daughter’s a real big fan of you and Rafael’s music !” because then my dad told me that his eyes LIT. UP.
I would’ve died there.
And my dad told him that I’m corresponding with Rafa on some stuff and he tried to pull up my cover of his song, “Needle”, which was the first track that he emailed me so that I could cover it.
It couldn’t load, but nonetheless, now he knows I can sing (and hopefully soon, knows I rap), and that’s more than enough.
Now, at his work, whenever you come into contact with someone famous, you can’t get take a picture or a video with them, because then you could be in trouble.
But my dad also knew how much this meant to me.
So he decided ‘fuck it’ and asked Daveed if he could take a video or picture with him.
Daveed, being the sweet and nice person he is, said “Yeah, of course ! Let me just get a shirt on real quick” (oh, daveed. I’d still be happy even if you didn’t have your shirt on haha.)
((bonus ; Daveed told my dad that he told Rafa and everyone to come to Vegas but they couldn’t. My dad said “Could you imagine if I got them in the same video ?? How cool would that be ???”))
-
so yeah. there’s the story of how i died one day because of THE Daveed Diggs.
s/o to Diggs, and to my dad, for being the realest and taking one for the team.
i’ve always wondered what my name would sound like if Daveed said it. AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW.
i’m asking my friend to make the “Jazzy, what’s up ??” part into my ringtone.
i’m still so shook.
i’m never coming off of this high.

The types before an exam:

INTJ: doesn’t sleep and gets an anxiety attack but in the end gets the highest score

ENTJ: starts yelling and giving orders to everybody around: ”go buy me a coffee!”, “hold my sweater while I find my notes!”, “stop crying and study harder!”

INFJ: doesn’t look nervous at all but says he is

ENFJ: asks everybody else how they’re doing, when asked how he’s doing he shrugs but then he gets a really good grade

INTP: “wait we had an exam!?”

ENTP: reads the lesson for the first time in his 15-minute way to class and manages to get a better grade than most people

ENFP: tries to remember everything he studied the night before but collapse

INFP: reviews talking to everybody and asking them questions about the exam

ISTJ: doesn’t talk to anyone, mentally reviewing what he has been studying since the start of the semester

ESTJ: screaming at everybody because he has just done all the exercises in the book five times and it’s not enough

ISFJ: doesn’t even bother going over his notes once more because even though he’s studied a lot he thinks he’s going to fail

ESFJ: does a mix of INFP and ESTJ

ESTP: has predicted which questions are gonna be in the exam and he has just studied them. Surprisingly he’s right and passes it

ESFP: starts talking to ESTP about his weekend

ISFP: has pretty notes but doesn’t remember a word of them

ISTP: complains about how boring that class is and how he hated studying for it