give me a brake

cheesy pick up lines pt 2.

“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?”
“Sorry, I can’t hold on… I’ve already fallen for you.”
“Is your dad a drug dealer? Because you’re dope.”
“Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u.”
“Kissing burns 5 calories a minute. How about a workout?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
“Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.”
“Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?”
“You’re so hot you must’ve started global warming.”
“I may not be DQ, but I could treat you right.”
“Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!”
“Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number.”
“Was your Dad in the Air Force? Because you’re da bomb.”
“If you were a library book, I would check you out.”
“Let’s make like a fabric softener and snuggle!”
“Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!”
“If I followed you home, would you keep me?”
“Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.”
“A face without freckles is like a night sky without stars.”
“Do you know karate? Cause your body’s kickin!”
“I hope there’s a fireman around, cause you’re smokin’!”
“All those curves, and me with no brakes!”
“You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.”


Today, I fucked up by brake-tapping a cop.

So this happened about 45 minutes ago while i was driving home from work. Im going down a rural road at about 85km/h (speed limit is 80). When this guy in a blue ford focus comes flying up behind me and instead of passing he rides my tail so close that if i stopped for any reason he would have smashed into me. So me being me, i give a polite brake tap (not actually slowing down, just a warning not to follow so close).

Turns out it’s an undercover cop with a dashboard light strip (which isn’t visible unless turned on) and he immediately pulls me over then screams at me for driving too slow and break tapping. I argue i was driving the speed limit and i didn’t actually slow down when i tapped my brakes.

256$ ticket for “careless driving” …so i guess i fucked up by dealing with a cop on his bad day.

Holy guacamole, i cant believe this went crazy over night…thanks everyone, i think ill try to fight this ticket!

TIFU: Internet`s best fucked up stories are here.

Come Back Down Part 12

Come Back Down, Part 12

Warnings: There’s some creative smut here. Some cussing.

Summary: Just a little view of Jensen being happy before the shit hits the fan… That’ll be next chapter.

Tagging: @perpetualabsurdity, @maileann, @daydreamingintheimpala, @gecko9596, @gemini75eeyore, @jotink78, @dancingalone21, @winchesterprincessbride, @sandlee44, @exploratiionist, @arryn-nyx, @littledarlinhavefaithinme, @tiffanycaruso, @boredoutofmymindstuff, @feelmyroarrrr, @raeganr99, @ruprecht0420, @anokhi07, @letsgetyourdeanon, @sis-tafics, @jensen-gal

a/n-Bless my sweet niecey for letting me borrow her lap top for a few moments to post my smut. : )

I thought things might get a little awkward since Y/N’d had her hand on my dick last night. But, that was not the case. I woke up with the sunshine against my closed eyelids and the scent of her shampoo in my nose. “You smell so good, sweetheart.” The sentiment slipped from my lips without my permission and I felt her laughter rumble in her chest beneath my hand. I tucked my face into her hair, just feeling the inextinguishable, burning warmth that was spreading through my entire body. I knew the feeling, but was it too soon to be feeling this way?

Keep reading

Used To Be Alone

REQUESTED BY ANON: May you write a sisfic where she messes up a hunt and they get mad at her. She seems like she doesn’t care, but inside, she’s hurting really bad then she breaks down and apologizes a lot, and it ends in a little fluff~ hope it’s not too detailed- ;-;

You’ve been used to hunt solo for four months. Now, Dean is back to life from his deal and you are back with both your brothers on the road. Though, you just finished a hunt and you messed up, so bad. You managed to finish the hunt, but Sam almost died over there.
“Do you know what could have happened?” Dean yelled as you enter the room.
You toss your bag on a bed and sigh listening to Dean’s lecture.
“Sam almost got killed out there! You almost got him killed! It was a stupid move and –“
“Dean” Sam cut him off “I just have a few cuts and bruises, I’ll be fine”.
“Sam!” Dean exclaimed “it could have-“
“Yes! I messed up okay!” You shouted tears streaming down your cheeks “I messed up! I almost got Sam killed, okay? But I’m trying! I had to adapt to be alone for four fucking month so give me a fucking brake for God sakes!”
At this point, you just brake down crying and breathing heavily falling to the ground.
“Hey, hey” Sam bends beside you and takes you in his arms.
“I’m sorry” you cried “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
“It’s okay” Sam passes a hand in your hair “I’m the one who is sorry for leaving you all this time”.
“Me too” Dean bends down at your side “you are a strong kid and I’m sorry I’ve been hard on you… you’ve had it hard all these months”.
“Dean… just promise me you’ll never leave us… you too Sammy” you cried.
“Promise” your brothers said at the same time.

“A brake” (otherwise known as shameless Gorillaz slash poem thing because I’m weird)

Where’s my vodka?
Third kitchen cupboard from the right,
Behind the peanut butter jar,
The one with a huge wasp mummified inside.

Oh, 2D, you’re just in time.
What’s with that face, boy? Where’s your smile?
Never mind, we’ve got bigger fish to fry.
I was about to commit a wonderful crime.
I’m feeling generous, I’ll let you in on it.
You’re my partner now, go on, take a seat.
We will kill this bottle of vodka, you and me.
Take the loot then dispose of the body!
Must be careful though, so we won’t get caught!

“Murdoc, we need to talk.”

Now didn’t I just specifically told you to lighten up or what?
You never listen to what I say, now do you, you twat?
And what ever happened to you calling me “Mudzie”?
I know I complained about you giving me diabetes.
But still, a moderate amount of sugar never hurts anybody.
Why now, are you using sweets supplement, 2D?

“Alright, shoot.”

“I can’t keep doing this with you.”

Can’t? What? I hope you’re not talking about making music.
This band is everything people could ever dream of, don’t be so thick.
It’s fine, if you don’t want to binge with me for days in a roll.
It’ll save us the much needed money, you know.
And I’ll finally be able to get your car a new brake since the old one’s a bust.
Wouldn’t you like that? Oh, clever boy, but why the rush?
We don’t need to cut down on our drinks, we can just wait until Christmas.
Santa will give you a brake for some vodka-flavored biscuits.
Why not milk and cookies, you may ask,
Because your Santa is green, and he doesn’t like being fat.

“Doing what?”

“Murdoc, let’s face the fact….
I’ve been thinking a lot and….”

There it is, the synthesized sweetness again.
Seriously if I’m willing to pour you MY precious vodka,
The least you can do is give me some sugar.
I never liked that sugar of yours, but it’s common courtesy!
Give and receive, don’t forget to say please.
Besides what do you have other than sugar and that pretty face?
Ah, I get it, not until you get that brake.

“Since when do you think? And you haven’t answered my last question”
And since when do we have serious conversations?

“This relationship is going nowhere.”
Relationship? There are many kinds of those.
So we aren’t drinking buddies anymore, see if I care.
Just because you decided you want that brake…
Very well then, but we are still band mates,
A pair of lunatics, thrown together by fate.

“What relationship?”
And for the love of peace,
Where is my sugar?
“Please, I need you to be sober!”

“Here me out!”

Calm yourself, boy, no need to shout.
I’m just distracted by the movement of your painfully ugly mouth.
So would you mind repeating the last six words aloud?
“I am, I just don’t know what this is all about.”

“You know very well what I’m getting at…”

Yes, a brake. No need to get mad.

“A break! For peace’s sake! A break up!”
There you go again, making storms in teacups.
All because of a brake, I can’t believe my luck.
“Well don’t just bloody stare at me like that, Mudz.”

Close, you’re close kid, repeat after me,
M-U-D-Z-I-E. See? It’s really easy!

“Good heavens! You’re impossible to read!
Even now I doubt you’re not high on weed!”

Well excuse you, I’m perfectly sober.
Want my response? Then give me some sugar.

“This is exactly why I can’t…..
I’m the only one who’s trying!
The only one who gives a damn!”

For the record, captain smarty pants,
I took a look at your car yesterday, but I didn’t rant.
Oh, I see why you’re being so hard.
Murdoc, you’re an engineering genius, you can fix anything if you want.
I may be good, but I can’t do anything without a suitable new part.
Just like I would have died if it hadn’t been for your heart.
I stole it, and that’s exactly how I’m gonna get that brake.
I was going to grab one from that shop down the street when it gets late.
My only problem though, is the sales clerk.
That is one meticulous and careful jerk.

“I’m still waiting for a reaction, or something at all…
It bloody feels like I’m talking to a wall.”

Would you mind shutting up for a minute so I can properly think,
How to get you your brake, satisfy your mechanical kink.
Sure as hell, I’m not gonna pay.
Be grateful and hush while I find a way.

“Yeah, nothing, that’s what I thought.
We’re done here, Murdoc, what a waste of effort.”

Sit the fuck down, relax, have a salad.
Be patient, you brat, as we don’t have enough cash.
Give me a day or two, I’ll get you the brake.
Steal the damn thing, do whatever it takes.

“I love you a lot, Murdoc.
But you don’t feel the same!
I’m nothing to you.
This is just your game!”

I’m sorry, I must have dosed off..
I only got the first six words,
Others, I forgot.

“You’re a lost cause…
I won’t be fighting for you anymore!”
And with that something stirred in my core.

Memories, call it that if you will.
Our last night in Jamaica. On this odd looking little hill.
We were lying there, shirtless, and wasted.
Then you fed me something I’ve never tasted.
Sugar, that sugar of yours,
Sugar, your sugar for the first time.
You’re a liar, you know, just like I am.
Cos you promised me we would be partners in crime,
Till hell freezes over and one of us dies.

“Ok then, seems you have made up your mind.”
From now on, my dear, you won’t have to try.

“That’s it?”
Yes, you sodding git.

“What more can I say?”
Seems to me you just want that brake.
No sugar for me. If that’s how you wanna play,
You’re not getting any of my vodka today.

“Take me or leave me.”
And call me Mudzie.

“Let’s just go back to being best mates.”
I lost you to that damn brake.

“Why the hell not, that’s just dandy.”

Liars, both of us.
Or is it just me?

“I can’t say this is what we want, but it’s what we need.
We’re killing each other, you and I know it.”

The sugar never came. Odds are it never will.
Oh goodie, my health risks just got lowered!
A few more years to live and to feel.
Not what I want either, but according to you, what I need,
And for once in my life, I’m taking your word for it.

“Thank you, Murdoc.”

I appreciate the sweet talk. But it won’t be enough.
You owe me a lot more, don’t you, sweet stuff?

For saving your life, two times over.
For Gorillaz and endless painkillers.
For my….ehem…..friendship and Smirnoff.
For not killing you every time you piss me off.
For shooting the zombies that would be the death of you.
For all the other little things that you thought I didn’t do.
For sharing my luxurious alcohol and my humble bed.
For feeling something other than the urge to hit you across the head.
For going back against everything that is me and all I’ll ever be.
For inexplicably loving you, 2D.

There, I said it. And in such a poetic manner.
Boy if only you could read my mind like you can with your letters.
Thank god you can’t and never will, though.
You’d find out that I’m actually thanking god, and that you have my soul.

“By the way, Murdoc,”

No more sugar, what a shock!

“I had my brake fixed this morning,
You don’t have to steal anything.”

Well well well what a pleasant surprise…
Maybe you can somehow read my mind.
Yet you have failed to see through my lies.
Because you don’t know how I’m dying inside.


And with that you left.
Out of the kitchen, no regrets.
Probably testing out your fixed car.
With brand new brakes, I bet you’d go far.

But still.

I hope you crash into a lamppost!
I hope you blow your tires along the coast!
We might have had something special together.
But you’re still the one I hate the most.
So run along, I wish you the worst,
While I file these papers like a civilized desk clerk.


Yes, 2D, paperwork.
I’ve had my subscription to club Stu expired,
Let’s see what I could take with me now that I’m finally retired.
If I had a penny for every I-love-you, I would have 66, not bad.
If I had a penny for every sober I-love-you, I would have just over 3 a tad.
If I had a penny for every time I made you smile, I’d have quite plenty.
If I had a penny for every time I made you cry, I’d have too many.
If I had a penny for every time I apologized to your face, I’d have nothing at all.
If I had a penny for every time I apologized in my head, I’d have everything, make a killing in total.

But apparently, not enough to keep you, Stu.
Because you have cancelled your subscription at club Niccals, too.
No more free access to the Niccals suite or the Niccals limo,
No more I-will-at-least-try-to-refrain-myself-from-hurting-you as far as I know,
No more I-will-not-call-you-names-when-we-are-alone, that too, has got to go.
No more Murdoc Niccals for you!
You will get your refunds though, and they include:
One figurative heart on a figurative tray,
The literal heart is non refundable I’m afraid.
And take back your six kisses a day,
Your blood and your tears, your hugs and my beers.
Our one hundred and twenty three fucks a year.
That night in Jamaica.

The new brake for your car.

I will take my screwdriver.

Originally posted by steviepinkiepierogers

Originally posted by welcometoplanetrandom

That is probably not what you expected. Bit to be honsest, i regret nothing :D


Steve groaned hearing loud rock music coming from Tony’s science lab. He hided his head in his pillow hoping to block music which made his head throbbing. How in hell Stark got up so early and got to his lab? He would normally sleep at least to noon, and then after half hour of staring at his coffee cup he would decide to drink it and then go to his lab.

Steve looked at clock standing on his bedside table and moaned unhappy. It was 6 in the morning.

He rolled on his back and looked at the ceiling hoping that it was just bad dream. After few minutes he lost his hope and got up, ready to reprimand Stark for his behavior at that early hour, after very hard mission they were only the day before.

Dressed only in his sweatpants, wit out shirt and with are foots he leaved his room, heading right to the source of the music, which was, as he expected, the science lab, not far away from the common room of the Avengers headquarters. Walking through the room he saw Bucky and Natasha, sitting with cups of coffee, already after theirs morning training session. His best friend waved at him with smile. He waved, not really paying attention at anything that wasn’t source of AC/DC Highway to Hell. He heard giggle of Natasha behind him, but payed it no mind.

He get into the lab and immediately turned off the stereo, sighing with delight when it got quiet in the room. His satisfaction didn’t last long, because of loud “The hell you did asshole” coming from behind the shelves. It wasn’t Tony’s voice.

From behind the shelves comes short (h/c) girl with frown on her face dirty from grease in tight white tank top and jeans shorts. He looked her from head to toes, taking in her whole appearance, noticing her torn sneakers. He swallowed hard his saliva looking into her (e/c) eyes, witch beside the color looked just like Tony’s.

“You are going to answer me, or should I push a screwdriver up your ass and turn it until you start to walk as a good little solider on a crank?” He opened his lips slightly, not knowing what to say. Never in his live has he meet girl as mean and pretty by the way as her. “If you are not gonna talk, then I suggest, you turn on my stereo and leave before I will take my screwdriver.” Still stunned, Steve turn on the stereo and left the lab.

He get into the common room with big eyes, still not knowing what just happened. He looked at Natasha who were laughing really hard.

“I see you met (y/n).” She said when she finally calmed down.

“W-who is this girl?” He looked behind him at the girl who were working on one of Tony’s latest project, as if she was in her own home, jumping slightly to music, and occasionally waving her head to the rhythm, making her (h/c) hair to get on her face and into her mount and eyes. Who the hell she was?!

“It’s (y/n).” Said Tony coming into the kitchen and pouring himself a coffee, clearly not happy of being woken up so early. He looked at Steve, and sighed seeing confusion still written on his face. “My sister? The world numero uno in science and mechanics, at least in women category? Really? Noting? I told you all yesterday that she is stopping by, to have a little Tet-a-Tet with my lab.” Steve was looking at Tony as if he had just told him, that elephants are flying. Stark sighed and rubbed his face. “That’s how you are listening to what I’m saying.”

“You have sister?” Tony shoot his hands up.

“No it’s my brother, don’t pay attention to boobs, it’s family thing. Yes, I have a sister, her name is (y/n) and if I see any of you closer than five meters from her, I’m personally gonna kick your ass.” Steve nodded slowly, still trying to wrap his mind around the though that Howard Stark had not one, but two kids and that they both were extremely rude…

“Antony, if you drank whole coffee, could you please make some more?”

“Of course (y/n/n).” Correction. Extremely rude for him. He looked at the girl who get out of the lab and sat on the couch next to Natasha, introducing herself to Bucky. He looked at Tony, who were making more coffee at the kitchen island. After a while go comes closer to him, leaning at one of the chairs.

“Is she staying for long?” Tony just shrugged his shoulder.

“As long as she want. She was in Asia for quite a while, and don’t have a place to go.” Blonde nodded again and looked at the girl. She was pretty, even beautiful, but she was acting just like her brother, or at least he observed it so far.

“Alright. I don’t want to sound mean, but who the hell are you, and why are you looking at me?” She turned around to look Steve right into eyes. Super Solider quickly looked at his feet, feeling blush appearing on his face. She raised her eyebrow. “Is he mute, deaf or just really stupid?” Tony rolled his eyes, coming to her and giving her cup of coffee.

“It’s Steve, or Captain America as you want. He is just really shy little girl in ‘grow men’ body.” (y/n) made sound that she understand what her brother had just told her.

“So this is the infamous Captain I-have-broom-im-my-ass America.”

“Language!” tony reprimand he satirically, which made both of them laugh. Steve groaned, sitting at the kitchen island. He got a felling that this is going to be really long visit. Bucky stood from his spot on the couch and get to his best friend.

“You two would be a sweet couple.” He whispered on his ear and laughed at the face his friend made.


Three months of being woken up on six in the morning by loud rock music later, Steve found himself looking at every move (y/n) made with lovesick puppy eyes and stupid smile on his face every time she talked to him.

It started innocently. Waking up on early morning hour, Steve would get up from his bed and go to the kitchen, where he make coffee and pour it to (f/c) cup with flowers and give to her. First few times it wasn’t pleasant. Wherever he come into the lab, you would throw daggers at him if he was to close to your stereo, calming down only when he would put her coffee on the desk. After three or four days of that, she started to smiled at him and thanked him for it.

Before he know it, Steve was looking forward the rare occasions of where she wasn’t in the lab. Instead of this, she would sit in the armchair, with cup of cinnamon-orange tea, in the oversized (f/c) sweater, leggings, and fluffy socks on her feet, with hair wet after the shower, sticking to her face, slightly parted lips and book in her hand. He would then sit on the sofa, pretending to read a newspaper in his hands, but really looking at her with affection in his eyes and blush, every time she looked up and smiled at him.

Of course, Bucky saw it first, and immediately informed Natasha about it. And then started their teasing and jokes of his behavior from them. They started to mess with him, occasionally asking (y/n) of her opinion of his hair or clothes, which she commented in her Stark-sarcastic way, making him blush every time.

“I bet a tenner that before Steve confess his feelings for (y/n/n), she will be long married with at least two children, big house with white fence and dog… named Steve.” Bucky said, placing money on the coffee table. Natasha nodded her head slightly, and she put the same amount of money next to Bucky’s.

“I say, he will do it after she get old, buried her husband AND Steve-the-dog, and decide to marry again, this time with cybernetically programmed butler of her second son.” Steve groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

“Could you guys give me a brake? And where the hell you two get an idea of her naming dog Steve?” He looked at them, but quick looked at the lab doors, which opened. (y/n) walk into the kitchen and poured herself some tea.

“Hey (y/n), if you would have a dog, how will you name him?” At Bucky’s question she looked up, thinking for a while before looking at him with grin.

“Steve.” Both assassins laughed, while super solider blushed and put his forehead on the table top. (y/n)’s smile only grew bigger and she sat with them. “Why you ask?”

“Because Steve…” said man looked hard at his friend who just smiled. “Didn’t believe us that you would name that dog.” She giggled.

“I will, just to mess up with him. OK, I have to get back to work. When you see Sam and Wanda, tell them that I will go to the shop first thing in the morning, and ask them what they wanted.”
“Sure thing, doll.” She kissed Bucky on the check and went to the lab. Steve looked at his friend with fake betrayal on his face. He just smiled like a cat that got cream and patted Natasha on the shoulder. “Come on, we have a training session. Let’s leave Mr. too-scared-to-act, alone.” Redhead nodded standing and going after him, waving to Steve, who just groaned again and started to hit his head on the table.

“Could you stop? You are devastating my beautiful table.” He looked at older of the Stark sibling.

“Tony, can I as you something?”

“Whatever you say, I’m not borrowing you my car.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“It’s about (y/n).”

“You are not dating her.” Said Tony and started to read his newspaper.

“What are you…?”
“I’m not stupid capsicle. I know how are you looking at her, and no, you can’t date her.”

“I believe it’s not your choice.”

“And yet you are asking me about it. Listen Steve.” Tony looked at him, putting his paper down. “I know what kind of men you are and no. I will not let you be with her, simple because I don’t trust you enough to protect her. She is my sister, and I will do everything to make sure, nothing will never happened to her. And you are… you. You are good man, but not for her.” Steve felt as his heart stopped for a moment.

“So you don’t trust me, that I will keep her have?” Tony raised his eyebrow.

“I just know you, and I know that if something will seem more important for you than her, then you will choose that thing instead of her. And I can’t let that happened.” They looked in each other eyes for a while, before Steve opened his mouth.

“Nothing will be more important than her.”
“You say it now. No one knows what will happen.” Stark stood up and toke his newspaper. “You may try, but if you will hurt her, you will not come out of it alive.” With that he left Steve, who sighed.


Next morning Steve woke up to almost unnatural silence in the building. First, he thought that he got deaf. He looked at the clock. It was half past six. He furrowed his brow and got up, dressing quickly and going to common room, where stood almost whole team, with out Tony, who were in the lab.

“What’s going on?”
“Oh, sleeping beauty is awake. Good. (y/n)’s missing.”

“Wasn’t she suppose to go to the store?”

“She canceled it yesterday evening, when she found out that Sam was at the store.” Steve furrowed his brow. If she wasn’t at the lab, nor in her armchair, then where were she?

“Redwing found something.” Sam announced, going to the direction of where his droid was.

At the garden, right behind the building were signs of a struggle. Steve felt as if some cold hand dug through his skin and grabbed his stomach. He crouched down and looked at the ground.

“Natasha, go and check monitoring record. Sam, you Bucky and T'challa are going to check whole terrain around. Look for everything and report to me immediately when you found something, anything that will tell us, where she could possibly be. Vision check lab, if there is any clue. And Wanda go look in her room.” Everyone looked at Steve in shock. His tone was cola and face hard, just as his eyes. He looked at everyone. “Now!” They got to their quest at hand immediately. He rubbed his face and looked at Tony. “You should check your mail. There is possibility that someone kidnapped her for ransom.”

“Yeah, come.” They get inside, going to Tony’s office.

After almost three hours, Natasha got into the room with wide eyes. Both men looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“I checked records. You should see that.” She got to Tony’s computer and put pendrive into USB point. “hmm… there.” She showed them the record of (y/n) being attacked and kidnapped by three man, dressed all in black. Tony furrowed his eyebrows.

“I know who they are.” He got up and went to his closed where he kept his armor. “They will not want any ransom. They will kill her. Call everyone. We have to go.”


Whole team landed at the forest near the big abandoned hangar, where (y/n) were held hostage. Carefully, they neared building, carefully, not to disclose themselves. Steve felt uneasy. He was nearly sure that there should be some guards, but everything were quiet, without any sighs of anyone.

When they got into the building, they stopped dead on their track, seeing nearly twenty man laying cold on the ground. Everyone was thinking the same think. What the heck happened here?! After a moment, they snapped back to reality, tearing sound from one of the rooms near them.

When they opened doors, ready to fight with whoever was in there, they stopped shocked, seeing (y/n), in her pajama from night before, sitting on top of the table with jars of peanut butter and jam next to her and with sandwich in her hand. She looked up and them and smiled happily.

“There you are. Good for you, I would turn your lives into living hell, if I would have to come home on foot.” She bite her meal and chewed on it, waving her legs. She stopped seeing their eyes staring at her. “What? I have something on my face?”

“What the fuck happened here?” She laughed at Natasha.

“I did not tall you that I am a badass?”

“You beat them? There is like twenty of them!” She jumped to the ground and throw your half eaten sandwich behind you.

“Twenty one to be exact. Yeah. I am trained badass.” She grinned. Steve was looking at her in ave before he dropped his shield and get to her, taking her cheeks in hands and kissing her.

It took her a while to proceed what is going on, but when she get whats going on, she quickly pulled off of him and knocked him out. She whipped her lips and looked at the rest of them.

“If anyone who isn’t Leonardo DiCaprio will do it again, I’m gonna kill you.” She pushed between them and went to the main doors. Everyone laughed, and Bucky bro-fisted Natasha.

“I forgot to tell him, that she will be the one who will kill him.” Tony said with smile, going after his sister. “Can someone pick Steve up?”

Owari no Seraph 49: Ferid’s Part

Took another try looking at those pages and I think I got it down. This continues from the first part here.

Crowely: Ferid
Ferid: Hm?
Crowley: We’ll soon reach Osaka Bay.

Ferid: Waah, good job!
Once we arrive then it’ll get busy~

Crowley: Hmm.
So you aren’t going to tell me how it’ll ‘get busy’ then?

Ferid: Oh, well…if i elaborate on the details

Crowley: Go on.

Ferid: It’ll get intensively busy!!
Crowley: …Enough.

Ferid: Hehe,
Look…if you knew the rest then when you’re caught by the high progenitors they’ll end up torturing you.

Crowely: That’s rare.
You’re actually worrying over me?

Ferid: Besides you’re my beloved son.

Crowley: What? Beloved?

You turned me into a vampire against my will…
and I been damning you for the pass 800 years ever since.

Ferid: You’re kidding!
Crowley: On top of that…

Crowley: It wasn’t even yours that I drank but rather incidentally the blood of someone else.

So who’s blood was it?

Ferid: Aww I don’t remember.
But I’m certain it was close to a dog’s

Why not try barking?

Crowely: …You said it was 'Saito’.

Your master, right?

Ferid: Oh you remember that?

Crowley: Then when it comes down to that, we’re brothers.

Yet I don’t know my father and I can’t even follow what my brother is thinking of.

Are you aiming for revenge against him?

…if you don’t tell me,
I’ll get my revenge on you.

Ferid: Pffft!
If you do so it should be quite the vengeance!

Crowley: …that’ll be too much trouble

Ferid: Mika, wouldn’t a bit of sleep do you good?

Mika: Don’t screw around with me, vampires don’t sleep

*Ferid: Is that true!? I didn’t know that!
(T/N: First line is cut off, so i match it with the second one where ferid says he didn’t know about that fact)

…Cut it out with that glare,
aren’t you seeking revenge upon Krul Tepes?

Mika: Just where are we heading to?

Ferid: Mmm~

Crowley: Oh-

Scene of Ferid flying out the car~

Yuu: ye-

Mika: Are you alright Yuu-chan?
Yuu:’m not.
I hit my head.

textless page


Even today the wondrous sky has become boring…

Have we’ve made it to Osaka Bay?

Ferid: Give me a sec.

Ferid: Why did you suddenly hit the brakes?

Crowley: That was quite the vengeance, wasn’t it?

Ferid: Eh?

Ah haha, hahaha

It sure was!

Yuu: Say, where are we?
Shinoa: It seems…

We’re at Osaka Bay

Yuu: Hey, Ferid, you better explain.

Why are we here and wha-

Lest: Ferid Bathory!!
Why haven’t you come and greeted us yet?

Yuu: …wha-
You set us up!!…

Ferid: Shut up.

Make one false move and even I’ll be kill in an instant.

Ferid: I’m here, I’m here.

Ferid: To all of our high ranked progenitors, I’ve been waiting for you.

*Vampires from the world gather in masses at Osaka. And so Ferid’s real objective is…?

Creepypasta #825: I've Lived In The Backwoods Of Virginia For The Past 15 Years, And I Have A Few Stories Worth Telling (Part 2/2)

Length: Super long

One user asked me if I had ever heard strange music in the middle of the night, while walking or driving. I don’t generally wander around on foot at night, for obvious reasons, but I’ve definitely heard some interesting sounds. On many nights, at varying times, usually between 11p.m. and 4a.m., I’ve noticed chimes sounding. Sometimes they’re very high pitched, like the sets of wind chimes people hang on their porches. Other times, they’re deeper, like the big orchestral sets you play with mallets. 

Usually, the wind chimes are random, just like a set clanging together in the wind, and no, we have never owned any wind chimes. I’ve checked on many occasions when it started to drive me bonkers. The deep chimes, though, always form some melody, and it’s always different. 

Being a percussionist myself, I started memorizing the melodies, and when I would go into band class, I would take random sheet music I found and play it on the school’s chime set, hoping to find something that sounded remotely similar. I never found anything close to what I heard. 

The sound is also best heard from the kitchen. Not outside. It’s like it originates in the kitchen, by the back window. Again, I’ve torn that kitchen apart, looking for any kind of speaker, or some elaborate prank, but I’ve never found anything, and I’m not sure what to think of it.


I’m not sure how this next story slipped my mind the first time I posted. I guess I chose to forget because I don’t think anything has ever nagged at the back of my mind quite like this. When I was around 10 years old, my dad finally took me into the woods to go hunting for the first time. I’d gone with him before, but this time he actually decided to let me do the shooting. So we sat out in a tree at the asscrack of dawn, and soon enough a small buck walks into view about twenty yards away.

I pulled the 20-gauge shotgun up to my shoulder, took a deep breath… and barely hit it. So we get down out of the tree, and my dad starts following the trail of blood, which leads into the woods and out of sight down a hill into a creek bed. Coming back, he takes the gun from me and starts back towards the wounded deer, sparing my young soul the trauma of having to finish off an animal up close with a shotgun. About 30 seconds after he reaches the top of hill hill, I hear him yelling, and I manage to catch, “.. the fuck!” followed by a shotgun blast. Then another. 

At this point, I’m a little worried, but my dad was Superman to me at this time in my life. He just took out an armored zombie bear, for all I knew. Anyway, a few seconds later, he’s back over the hill, panting, no deer in sight. He shuffles towards me at a fast walk, and I realize now he was trying not to run, as to keep me from panicking. “Let’s go, we’re going back to the house,” he says. 

Of course, I ask him: “What about the deer?" 

Keep reading

The most pathetic thing about me
is that I would come crawling back
to you in a heartbeat if you asked me to
and it sucks that I don’t even own
my will anymore because when I gave
everything to you, I left nothing behind
and now you have the keys to the beating
that keeps me alive but with a turn
you could break me and I don’t know why
God forgot to give me an emergency override.
—  I should have checked the emergency brakes before I gave you the keys
I Got A Date

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: None

Length: 645 words

Summary: You inform Dean after a hunt that you’re going to go on a date

*Image not mine*

External image

“And that’s another case closed!” Dean said, as he drove the Impala away from the cemetery.

You, Sam, and Dean had just did a salt and burn.

You were hoping it would have been quick and thankfully it was.

Because, now, you could put your plan into action.

A week ago, you and Sam got to talking and you accidently let it slip that you liked Dean.

Upon revealing that, Sam told you, not only did he know that, but that Dean liked you too.

You were skeptical, of course. But with Sam’s reassurance, and insistence, you agreed to come up with a plan with him to get Dean’s head out of his ass and get you two together.

Those were Sam’s words. Clearly he had enough of seeing Dean watching you like a sad puppy.

“Yep.” Sam said. “Wanna hit the bar to celebrate?”

“I’m in.” Dean said. “As long as you’re buying.” He then looked in the rearview mirror at you. “What about you, Y/N?”

“Can’t.” You said. “I got a date.”

The car served a little.

“A what?” Dean asked.

Sam looked at him confused.

“A date.” You repeated.

“With who?” Dean asked. “A guy?”

“No, Dean, I’m going out with a chimp.” You said, sarcastically.

“You didn’t tell me about this.” Dean said. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Gee, Dean, if I didn’t know better, I would say you were jealous.” Sam said, smirking at him.

“I am not jealous.” Dean said defensively, which made you raise your eyebrow at him. “I’m just curious and interested in other people’s lives. People that I care about, by the way. Is that so bad?”

Sam just stared at him.

“Yeah, Sam.” You said. “Why would Dean be jealous? We’re friends.”

“Exactly.” Dean said.

“It shouldn’t bother him that I’m going on a date with a guy.” You said.

“E-Exactly.” Dean said.

“In fact, he should be giving me pointers.” You said.

Suddenly, Dean slammed on the brakes; making the Impala stop with a jolt.

“What the hell, Dean!” Sam said, glaring at him.

“Pointers?!” Dean said, looking at you, and ignoring Sam.

“Well, yeah.” You said. “Who else would know what guys like to a ‘T’ other than you?”

“No.” Dean said, shaking his head. “No. I forbid you to go on that date.”

“You forbid me?” You asked, a spark of anger in your voice. “Last I checked, you don’t own me, Winchester. And I can do whatever the hell I want.”

Dean was quiet for a moment before saying:

“Don’t go on the date.”

“Why?” You asked.

“Because he’s wrong for you.” Dean said.

“How would you know?” You asked. “You don’t know him.”

“I don’t have to know him to know he’s not right for you.” Dean said.

“Then who would you suggest I go out with?” You asked.

“Me!” Dean said.

You looked at Dean surprised.

“You?” You asked.

“…Yeah.” Dean said, clearing his throat and suddenly looking nervous. “Me.”

You stared at Dean for a couple seconds; as you were screaming happily on the inside.

Sam was right and you couldn’t be happier.

“Okay.” You said.

You saw the surprise on his face.

“Okay?” Dean asked.

“Okay.” You said. “I’ll go out with you.”

A hint of a smile played at Dean’s lips.

“Okay.” Dean said.

It was silent for a couple seconds as you and Dean stared at each other.

Sam suddenly cleared his throat and said:

“I’m happy that you two are finally talking about your feelings, but can we please get back to the motel? I swear I’m making the dirt now.”

Without saying a word, Dean faced forward again and began to drive.

You caught Sam’s eye in the side mirror in between the glances Dean was giving you from the rearview mirror.

Sam smiled and winked. You smiled and winked back.

anonymous asked:

Tell me about yourself. And don't say I've got nothing to say. Get into the details, whats your name, your favourite colour, whether you have siblings or not. What grade your in, etc don't stop till you've got litteraly nothing else left on your mind

I’m danyelle
I’m 17 I’m a fucking wreck I like the color purple because its my moms favorite color when I see it it think of her and that oddly comforts me. I hate my fucking self I’m trying hard to be in recovery and people tell me I’ve inspired them so I feel bad that its getting hard again but its bad I over eat to make up for not cutting, it’s been 8 months since the last time I cut. Did you know that everyday my wrists and thighs still itch? I’m losing my mind. I don’t even understand it anymore. I eat way too much, I eat and I eat and I feel so much shame, somehow I managed to stay a consistent weight. I cannot think about a certain person because it brings me so much pain. I wish I had never met that person. You know when you have that one person that brings you so much joy yet so much heartache? Yeah.

I like dogs. When I see a dog I feel better, my uncle has a dog and he can tell when I’m upset sometimes I feel as if the dog is the only one that gives a fuck about me.

I’ve been debating on going to the emergency room for inpatient but honestly I don’t think I can work up the courage. Sometimes I take a couple too many pills because it calms me and it slows my thoughts. I don’t want to be like this. I wish my life had never played out this way. I don’t know why I couldn’t have been born into a regular household with a mother and a father. But I guess this is how my life is. Everyone is pressuring me to get a job or to go to college, I can’t even get out of bed at this point. I feel like the family fuck up. I am the family failure. My cousins have their license, have a job, are still in high school, have friends, are pretty, I just can’t deal with it. Everything triggers me. I’m sorry this is such a negative venting session but you told me the right what was on my mind. I know I shouldn’t go to concerts like I do. I know it uses money we don’t have. But I am selfish and if I can feel happy to be alive one day in a month or a few months, then I guess being selfish is OK. Right now I want to cry but for some reason I can’t work up to it. I’m back to being numb.

Earlier I thought I was going to burst with negative emotions. I don’t understand. All these people telling me that they care, that they love me. Yet I am so easily replaced. I feel very irrelevant to everybody. If I were to go I don’t think many people would notice. That sounds so cliche this whole thing does.

My father died a year and 4 days ago and I fucking hate myself because I wrote him a letter that told him all of the things I didn’t like about him I fucking hate myself because I refused to say I love you too because I was in so much pain I couldn’t see past it.

I have a brother but he doesn’t know he’s my brother my uncle adopted him, so he thinks we are cousins. He is 8 years old. It is fucking killing me. When I was in middle school having a brother was the only reason I would fight my suicidal urges. And now he doesn’t even know he’s my brother? This might seem dramatic some of you but to me it’s destroying me. It’s hard for me to even look at him without getting triggered. I want to scream I am your sister but if I did that? Pretty sure half of the family would never speak to me again.

I’ll try to list more positive things. I write poetry when my heart feels like it will splinter open. I only write if I’m in desperate need of a distraction. Sadness, anger, or overjoyed.

My favorite movies are the Wizard of Oz, a walk to remember, the notebook, Balto, The Breakfast Club, friends with benefits, 10 Things I Hate About You, and basically any Halloween movie like the Disney ones.

I feel like my zodiac sign represents me pretty well, I’m a Pisces. We are intuitive, sensitive, artistic, day dreamers, and we love with a passion so deep. We are jealous. We are the people that others go to when they need advice. We put others first. I am proud of my zodiac sign. Pisces have a strong connection to the ocean, everytime I go to the ocean I’ve literally felt like I am at home more so than I do when I’m in my bedroom. That’s where the whole mermaid thing comes into play. Do not make fun of me because I call myself the mermaid of tumblr, I’m not being serious. I know I’m a fucking human. I wish with all my heart I was a mermaid because it represents a side of me , meaning if my soul could be a being, a mermaid would strongly represent what I am. Lost in a dark humongous place. I love the idea of just swimming and swimming in the ocean discovering new things. I’ve been fascinated with mermaids since I was young. No not because of Ariel.

Sometimes I let people walk all over me because I feel if I put up with their crap it’ll get better, or if I stand up for myself I will lose them and be twice as lonely as I am already. I left high school in 9th grade because my anxiety was going to kill me. My suicidal thoughts had reached their limit. I was going to get my GED or I was going to kill myself. I fought against the school, & I got my GED. That was the best and worst decision of my life. It has basically destroyed all motivation to continue in an education. I feel dumb. I did not attend many school years due to mental illness and physical illness.

Did you know that when I was in 4th grade my liver was failing and I should have died? For some odd reason, for some unknown reason my body fought against the odds and I’m still here. I didn’t even need a transplant. I have a thyroid problem and when they found out about it my thyroid was dead. It is now fine. I used to be type 2 diabetic and now my blood sugar is normal. I don’t get it. This sounds horrible but sometimes I wish that one of my physical illnesses would come back and come back hard. Then I wouldn’t feel so guilty for wanting to die. I’m sorry this is getting negative again.

I love swing sets. When I swing I feel like I’m five again and it just feels like I’m trying to give me a brake. Music. Music is the only thing. I have seen Mayday Parade, The Wonder Years, all time low, a day to remember, Bring Me The Horizon, Of Mice and Men, issues ,northlane, You Me At Six, nevershoutnever, the downtown fiction, the story so far, modern baseball, Ingrid Michaelson, pierce the veil, and probably a few more that I’m forgetting. I’ve been to roughly 7 or 8 concert I’m not thinking very clear right now but those concerts man. Those 8 concerts that I’ve been to were the eight days in the past two years that I was okay.

I have a lot of anger bottled up. I don’t really know anymore. I wish I had a dog I feel like if I had a dog it would help me. I have hazel eyes I like my eyes they’re like my dads.

More than half of the people in my family are addicted to drugs or an alcoholic. I told myself I’d never be like them. Last summer I fucked up and was so high. I overdosed too many times. I was destroying myself. I’ve managed to recover from that. If I end up getting high it’s totally unrelated to addiction. And so I managed to pull myself up from that. Yet I was the one who self harmed & ended up in the emergency room for suicidal thoughts and somehow that make me a bad person, just as bad as the rest of them.

Everybody in my family gets annoyed with me because I am the photographer in the group. I’m the one that insists on bringing her camera and taking a bunch of family photos. I have a passion for family photos in particular. Why wouldn’t I want to capture a moment. Someday we’re all going to be gone and I don’t know about you or your family but I wish mine had more photos so I could see my relatives. I think it’s because I’m scared that someday I won’t have these people.

I lied I don’t think I hate myself. I hate the thoughts that I create. How do I feel about myself personally. As a person? I’m not even sure. I feel numb when I try to think about myself. I know I’m sensitive compassionate, kind of unique, I try so hard to make people happy. I am very emotional. My bad qualities which includes jealousy over reacting, jumping to conclusions, and getting abnormally detached from reality. I love sweatshirts I like big sweatshirts. They make me feel cozy.

This sounds lame but when I was in second grade you know who my hero was? Balto the wolf. Excuse me, half wolf half dog. In 1925 in Nome Alaska, he delivered medicine to sick dying children & saved them. I want to go to central park in NY to see the statue.

When I was in 4th grade my mom was very bad addiction wise, and my grandmother kicked her out. I remember gathering up my clothes as a nine-year-old. And all my little kid crappy makeup and putting it in a bag and put it on the doorstep so my mom could have clothes and makeup I also threw in a bag of cookies for her so she wouldn’t starve. I had many situations like this growing up. Christmas of 2006. My grandfather is an alcoholic. I came down early because I thought I heard Santa. It was my grandfather. Me and my grandmother slept upstairs and he was on the couch. He came up to the staircase and was screaming at us telling this to get out. That was the worst Christmas of my life. I was terrified.

There so many things you guys don’t even know about me and that you say I saved your lives I question that. I am truly grateful for the fact I have helped people because that makes me feel motivated to breathe. At the same time I feel like I’m lying to you all. I’m not good. I’ve done very bad things. Please remember that I am human. I’m going to shut up now my phone is getting very overheated. Thank You to whoever sent this though because it was probably the best distraction ever.

PS. Once a year I go to Belfast Maine. That is the best week of my year. One year I got a lobster hat, I still have that thing. I think I got it when I was 11. I still wear it too. It’s quite amusing I’ll post a picture later if somebody reminds me

Pps I am obsessed with Marshall Mathers, Slim Shady, Eminem. I don’t really like rap music but his story inspired me. He grew up with an addict. I do know that one incident he went to this school that did not have much diversity. He was one of the only white people. I don’t mean this to be racist at all I’m just telling you what the documentary I saw said. Anyway a group of kids were bullying him they bashed his head off of the sink in the bathroom. It was about 7 hours later that somebody found him. He was in a coma and had to relearn everything. He also studied the dictionary to make his raps have better vocabulary. I have loved Eminem since I was probably 5. I really admire his determination to make it. If you make fun of Eminem I honestly feel as strongly about it as if you are making fun of my family.

The end