i want to help, i want to take over, i want to be there constantly, but the more i am the more i help the realer it is, i don’t want to to be real, so instead of feeling sad about this i feel guilt. its easier that way.
Summary: You paid Vernon a visit at the studio after a broken promise, only to shatter your love with pain.
Requested by Anon
The faint honking of the city echoed through the warm night.
But it’s busy hum didn’t seem to compare to your hammering heart. Your knuckles hovered before the studio door’s surface, teeth gnawing at your bottom lip nervously. With a spinning head, you pulled away in what seemed like the hundredth time that day.
Hesitation clouded your thoughts and stiffened your movements. You knew it was wrong to be here, he had told you after all. You understood that his schedule was overloaded with work, and you patiently waited for him to find you with as much passion as you would for him; but it’s been eighteen painfully long days since you had last seen his shining caramel eyes, touched his warm skin, or kissed his sweet lips. Your body simply ached with desperation to be with him.
Today you had thought it would be different. He promised to take you out for lunch at a café nearby while he took a break. You had been more than excited with the thought of satisfying the crave you held to meet him. You spent the day with a large smile, and skipped to the designated area with an open heart. Even as the hour dragged by, you waited for him with trust and optimism- only to have your hope shatter into a pool of discouragement as the screen of your phone flashed with the words you dreaded to read.
But you couldn’t keep yourself from restraint. It wouldn’t do your heart any good to leave the anticipation in hollow ignorance.
A broken sigh escaped your lips, and you shut your eyes as you mustered your courage to knock your knuckles against the wood.
It didn’t take long for the door to pull open, revealing a panting Mingyu.
“Ah… y/n!” he exclaimed, flashing you a bright smile, “are you here to see Vernon?”
“Yeah… I-I was nearby, and decided to stop by,” you breathed, shifting awkwardly, “i-is he here?” Mingyu let out a light chuckle, slinging an arm around your shoulder.
“Of course,” he chirped with a tender tone, “and great timing, we could use a break from practice!” You managed to a force laugh before pulling away from him and shuffling inside with a ducked head, your eyes desperately scanning the room for the boy you longed to see. Your breath hitched as your eyes landed on the swaying body across the room, filling the air with his heartfelt raps.
You stopped, mouth drying. A wave of emotions struck your chest. Relief. Anxiety. Love. Desperation. You opened your mouth to speak, but no words seemed to form on your tongue.
“Hansol-ah,” Mingyu finally called, noticing your struggle, making the rest of the hiphop team turn heads. A chorus of ‘hellos’ were sang, and they made their way over to you; but your eyes never flickered away from Vernon.
Slowly, he turned around, his hair shifting with the flow of his smooth movements. When his gaze landed on you, his jaw clenched, and his eyes glazed with an unreadable emotion. He ran his tongue over his plump lips, making your shiver at the thought of the way they used to press against yours ever so sweetly.
“Y/n… what are you doing here?” he demanded, striding toward you with a cocked head. You sensed the confusion at his tone from the other members, making you sulk in embarrassment. Your eyes finally broke the gaze, shifting down to the floor.
“I-I was just wondering…” you began, wracking your mind for words, “how you were and-”
“I’m working,” he snapped cutting you off, “I told you not to come here! I thought you would be a good girlfriend for once and respect what I ask you!” You winced, biting down on your lip. Giult slowly prickled your gut, tugging down the edges of your lips into a frown. Seungcheol took a step forward, raising a questioning brow.
“Hey…” he warned, placing his large hand lightly over your shoulder. Vernon met the leader’s eyes.
“Hyung, this is our business,” he said through his teeth, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t interfere.”
“I don’t think-” You turned to look at Seungcheol with a small smile, nodding your head with a nervous shudder. His eyes flickered to the two in a few moments of hesitation, before letting out a sigh.
“Alright… come on,” he grumbled, leading the rest of the unit out the room. Once the door was shut, you risked to tilt up your gaze. His eyes were locked on yours, glossed and strained.
A heavy silence stilled the room, tension clouding the air. The only sound was the muffled shuffling in the dorms and Vernon’s stifled breathing. You shifted uncomfortably under his intimidating stare, rubbing your arm.
“I told you that I was busy,” he growled after a few heart beats, his voice low, “I thought you would understand that this is important.”
“But you promised today-”
“I forgot, okay! I’m sorry! I told you that we could do it some other time! Do you always have to be on my back?”
You let out a shaky sigh, swallowing down a sharp remark; “Hansol, you’re stressed,” you murmured, “just relax, okay? I get it.”
Slowly, you reached over, placing a hand over his shoulder with a softened gaze. He jerked away from you touch sharply, making your brows furrow and a pang of hurt struck your chest.
“No, y/n, you don’t get anything,” he groaned, flinging his arms in the air, “I can’t always be with you! You’re being so selfish right now!”
Your eyes widened at his harsh words, anger slowly churning your stomach. A scoff of disbelief escaped your lips, your mouth parting into a gap.
”Selfish?“ you echoed, brows arched, "Hansol you are the selfish one here. I haven’t seen you in more than two weeks, and you treat me like your punching bag?”
You watched as his eyes darkened in a glare. He pressed his lips into a thin line, running a hand over his face; a dry laugh racked his chest.
“I don’t need this right now, you’re wasting my time!” he spun, pacing across the room, “can’t you see that we cannot afford to delay this second album?”
“I missed you! I’m just trying to help!” you cried in frustration, “and I know you can’t, but no one wants an exhausted idol.”
Vernon whipped his head around in anger, and stormed toward you in a few strides; gently pushing you back with his rapid approach. Your back thud against the wall, his face a mere few inches from yours. His cool, ragged, breath clouded your lips, sending shivers run down your spine.
For once in that day, fear rippled through you as you searched his lost eyes, unable to find any familiar comfort.
“You’re not helping; you’re only in my way,” he hissed, “honestly y/n, you’re being a burden.”
Your breath hitched in a sharp inhale, a lump forming in your throat. Pain, anger, and disappointment coursed through your viens, a wave of overwhelming emotions striking your heart.
“Y-you know you don’t mean that,” you choked out, your voice quivering.
No words left his lips as he clenched his jaw, tilting his chin to the side. A sting prickled your nose, and you felt your eyes begin to water, blurring your vision. A scoff of irritation escaped your lips, flickering your gaze away from his.
“Fine, Vernon,” you laughed unemotionally, a tear rolling down your cheek, “I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble. I’m leaving…”
You shouldered your way past him, tears streaming freely. His eyes widened in realization as you stormed away.
“Y/n, wait!” he called, his voice breaking as he tried grabbing your arm in desperation, but you had already slammed the door shut, leaving him in the pool of his mistakes.