girls who write poetry

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Take care of him. He has the kindest heart, he may not always seem like it though. He try’s to hide it with sarcasm and side comments, pretending that he has not one care in the world. If you can look past it though you will see how much love he has to give.
He won’t always text you back, but he will still think of you. Unlike the rest of us he is not glued to his phone, just because he sometimes takes an hour to answer doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
He sleeps, a lot. There are nights where he sleeps more hours then he spent awake that day. He just sometimes needs to not be anything. Being no where is easier than being himself sometimes. Although he hates sleeping with people you’ll know he loves you if he asks you to join him.
Love to him is the scariest thing on the planet, if he tells you I love you do not take it lightly. Know that saying it took every inch of courage he has. if he disappears after know that he is just scared and hopefully he will find his way back to you. Just give him time, give him all the time in the world. He is more than worth it.
Please, just love him with everything you have because had I have been given the chance I would have given him every single part of me. Love him the way I only wish I could. If you are lucky enough for him to love you, please love him back.
—  4am
me and you
i think about it all the time
us curdled up post love making on the couch
you tell me i think we should get married
i laugh at the mere idea and say lets just sleep for now
but i see the seriousness in your eyes and i know there is just a matter of time
decades of platonic infatuation accompanied by these years of complete romantic adoration
can only lead to one inevitable fate
i wake up the next morning, long after you and walk out to the porch of our one bedroom apartment
it’s a sunday
i can hear you in the kitchen, making my coffee like you do every sunday
you hate coffee
the ambience of the sun reflects the swelling of my heart when i realize it
i am going to marry you
me and you forever
—  but right now it is a friday night, i am alone and you are with him

two girls.
no guns.
no gods.
no guillotines.

two girls.
no politics.
no policies.
no picket lines.

two girls.
two hopes.
two hearts.
two histories

two girls.

—  the right to love depoliticized. // s.j.h.
She got me praying all hours of the night, say she want my heart, She pulling me to the river, drawing me with her siren's call, Done gave her my heart but now she wants my soul, Well I already sold it to the man in red, "Fell in love with your charm," but its a curse; cos am dead, Girl you're not who you say, bad girl they say you are Innocence isn't where am at, wear your crucifix bae Don't make me out all serious bonnie, slave to this bad religion, Unrequited love, praying at my shrine, cos I don't have a heart Like a dead man walking, I lay at your side, Make sure you're alright in my world, atleast that for you girl,

I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul

Dear future girlfriend,

I promise to hold your hand through all your hard times, even though it’ll be hard for me to watch you go through it. I’ll love you even when I’m mad at you and I’ll kiss your forehead and listen to your words even when you slurring them, drunk and make no sense. We’ll get into stupid fights over ridiculous things and I’ll be a stubborn asshole but I promise to admit that I’m wrong when I am and hold you when tears are streaming down your cheeks in rivers of sadness, and tell you that it’s going to be okay. I’ll be there for you when you’ve just watched a scary movie and don’t want to sleep alone.. heck, I’ll even watch the movie with you. I’ll be right at the end of the phone for when you want to tell someone how awesome your day was and I’ll be right there when you’re lonely and want someone to cuddle with and watch Netflix. I’ll bring you up breakfast in bed when you’re too tired to move but too hungry to go back to sleep. I’ll be right by your side to remind how beautiful you are to me every single day and when nothing seems to be going right in your life, I’ll be there to give you a long, tight hug. I’ll try my best to make sure that you don’t feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, and even if I’m halfway across the world, I’ll make sure that you feel the weight of my love more. When you fight with one of your parents, I’ll help you sort it out because you take after both of them far too much and if they had not given you life then I would be without you. We’ll go to a train station and get a ticket to a random place and spend the day exploring every corner of that location. I’ll be a sarcastic little shit, and take our banter to a next level, you’ll playfully hit me and I’ll tell you that I love you and steal a kiss before you can say anything else. I’ll fight my way through my shipmates to make sure that I’m one of the first people off of the gangway so I can be one bit closer to you. I’ll skype or facetime you whenever I get the chance, or if none of those are working then a phone call or text will simply have to suffice, but I will make sure that whether I’m out in the Gulf, or in port at Birkenhead or Falmouth, you will know just how much I am in love with you. Whether it’s the best day that you’ve had or your worst, I’ll always be there for you. I promise to love you through it all.

Fuck waiting. Say that thing you’ve been wanting to say. Do that thing you’ve been wanting to do. Stop fucking waiting. Time runs out.
—  You could lose it all in a second. 
I know I am a handful.
I need reassurance and sometimes I’m emotionally empty. Everyone has their highs and lows. I’ve been to some dark places, but I’ve been to some heavenly places as well. But I just want someone who chooses me too.
I don’t love mediocrely or half-assed.
I want to love you unconditionally. I’ll always choose you, even if there are days or a time you can’t choose me. I want to love you on the good days, the bad days, even the days where you’re unsure. I’d stay with you at odd hours just to know you’re okay, it doesn’t matter the time, I’ll be patient with your soul. I’ll listen to you, if you’re crying, angry, even silence if you have nothing to say. I want you to be able to tell I love you, but if you need reassurance I want to be able to give you that too.
I want to show you that passion exists within the small things. I’ll fall in love with your little things. Your freckles beneath my fingertips that connect like constellations which forms you into my universe. The color of your eyes, the way they focus and watch me. The curve of your lips, that tell a story. I don’t want to fall in love with you, with the touch of my hand but in fact with my soul.
You’ll be cherished, regardless of your past.
And every spark, flame, or current has a chance to burn out, or to stop. Because love is anything but perfect. And neither are we.
but we can grow together. become better individuals. And if it ever comes to an end at least we took the risk to fall in love. And maybe we found a piece of ourselves.
And I believe you won’t need a holiday like valentine’s day to feel my love for you, because I’ll try my hardest every day to show you, maybe through ink spilled pages, love letters to you of whom I’ve yet to meet. And when we collide, I’ll try not to make it such a cliché.
—  S.S. Ink stained pages of love letters to someone I haven’t met yet. 
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.
I’m just tired,” she says. “I’m tired of girls pitting themselves against other girls. I’m tired of ‘I just get a weird vibe from her’ and of ‘I’ve heard she’s, like, psychotic’.” She rolls her eyes and sighs harshly. “Like, why don’t you get to know her, then? Have a conversation. Smile at her. If you don’t know her personally but you feel validated enough to gossip about her, you’re the only one sending weird vibes. You’re the only psychotic one. And also you’re the only one who needs to grow up.
—  excerpt from an unfinished book #137 // Lets make 2017 the year of girls helping girls
Poe junkie

The cold of London is forgotten in the glow of a lighter,
It is all you do to kill the grey,
Numb at the tips and you flick it right up,
And a dead man they say,
as you get High another day,
Just a drag to a smile, its chocolate.

Just a dab you use it,
Get high to get calm,
Paranoia but you do it,
Sweet lies its all like chocolate

You and your friends call it chocolate,
The lyrics of the song called it fate,
Roll up and strum the strings, chocolate to forget,
Dead inside and sad soaked futile hate,
You bite her lips, taste like wine and chocolate,
You call it chocolate, just a lie; you dead?

Your lungs they take it in like a friend,
Your heart breaks again, remember why you like it?
She broke your heart so you broke your head,
Bent with drags of chocolate, loved her but she didn’t know,
Bite your lips, light it up and inhale your fate

Inspired by the 1975 chocolate and my own addiction and self destruction
Do you think there’s a right time for two souls who got it wrong the first time? Because life gets heavy when you least expect it, sometimes it’s better that way. And if it’s true, do you reunite as if nothing happened? No blurred lines with pure honesty. And do you see the signs that I see? Does the one who loved less at the time ever have a moment where they finally see what they had? Or is it all hope about “someday”, because it makes a better story for the paper and maybe to people. It’s painfully ironic that we pay no mind to the ones who want us, because we are chasing someone else. She always said, she could tell my soul belonged to someone else because she could see the ghost of you in my eyes.
—  s.s
That year, heart break found me in fall,
it followed me through the depths of winter,
and every cold breeze felt like a kiss of heartbreak upon my skin.
My hands shook during thunderstorms
and I searched the dark sky for a reason;
I never found one.
But, by dawn I saw her standing there,
hair blowing, eyes glittering as she stood amongst the clouds.
Her beauty is the kind that radiates from within,
and most people cannot understand it.
My guess is that her own beauty overwhelms her,
That’s why her cheeks take on a hue of pink and she looks away when I call her beautiful.
And, I know it’s hard for her to accept the fact, because it’s difficult to love yourself when all you’ve ever done is tear yourself down.
But, when she looks down upon me,
My heart beats out the words my mouth longs to say.
I think I’ve found a home in her.
I have found a home in her.
—  And, I plan to never leave.
To her future love,

When she says she’s tired, sometimes she means that she’s just tired of life; other times she means her eyes are closing but her brain won’t quiet long enough to sleep. Either way, take her to bed, put her in some comfy clothes, and hold her until she falls asleep. Rub her head and talk to her when she has a nightmare so she won’t wake up crying. You won’t hear a thank you, but the sigh of relief she makes in her sleep will make your heart flutter. 

If you come home and she’s in the bathtub, wearing yesterday’s clothes and crying her makeup off, don’t let her apologize to you. She’s having a bad day and if she gets out the initial “I’m sorry” her eyes will stream “I’m worthless” for hours after. Just pick her up, hug her, and tell her you love her like it’s the last thing that you’ll say to her. It’s not the glue that holds her together but it lets her know you love her even at her worst. I promise, it’s so worth it just to be with her. 

When she gets excited about something, she’ll want to fill every silence with it, but she’ll stop herself because at one point someone told her that nobody cared; she carries that burden with her still. Let her whole body fill with excitement until her eyes shine and her smile lights up the room, and just before she looks away, tell her you want to listen. If you thought she was beautiful before, oh god your knees will go weak. 

She sleeps naked and by naked I mean stripped down to underwear and raw emotion. By naked I mean not perfect but utterly breathtaking, and trying to cover herself up because she doesn’t believe any of the compliments you’ll give her. And by naked I mean unapologetically honest but still guarded and terrified that she’ll make a home in your heart that may one day stop beating for her. Don’t let her go to bed without telling her she’s everything and proving it by making her face glow and her legs shake. 

She is full of so much life and light, and the only way you’ll get to know is by being there: listening, watching, singing along to songs you barely know and driving so far the radio turns to static. 

Fall in love with her completely and fully. Fall in love with her smile, her choices, her imagination. Fall in love with her body and what she’s done within it but also what she’s done with it. Love her forgiveness, and how she’s taken thousands of steps since she said she couldn’t take one more. Love her ribcage for protecting her big heart that has ached and hurt but can’t be broken. Love all of her. It won’t be hard; she’s irresistible. She’ll be an angel in your life, but you have to create a heaven for her too. Angels don’t live in hell.

I believe two souls will always be fated to drift back together because of the stardust within their bones.
It’s the compass of their souls.
It tells the journey between finding each other, dancing as stars, all before being separated when crashing from the sky, as shooting stars.
All to come back together again, because of an inexplicable gravitational pull.
So, sure the universe does fight for two souls to be together.
—  S.S