a comprehensive guide to vox machina in a hogwarts au based on all the headcanons everyone regurgitated into the tags tonight


  • gryffindor
  • half-blood (pureblood father)
  • prefect
  • career - auror


  • slytherin
  • half-blood 
  • quidditch - seeker
  • head girl
  • career - auror

scanlan shorthalt

  • slytherin
  • half-blood (muggle mother/pureblood father)
  • quidditch - commentator
  • career - obliviator

pike trickfoot

  • hufflepuff
  • pureblood (wilhand is a big ol’ blood traitor)
  • quidditch - beater
  • career - healer

grog strongjaw

  • hufflepuff
  • muggleborn
  • quidditch - beater
  • career - quidditch player

percy de rolo

  • ravenclaw/slytherin (take your pick, he’s a hatstall)
  • pureblood
  • headboy
  • career - unspeakable


  • hufflepuff
  • half-blood
  • prefect
  • career - hogwarts professor

taryon darrington

  • hufflepuff
  • pureblood
  • career - cursebreaker

suddenly i’m fourteen years old
picking petals like prayers for something perpetual
hoping to catch a glimpse of you between classes
you are the brightest thing
in this dreary hallway

suddenly i’m meredith grey
speaking soap opera stock script
“pick me. choose me. love me.”
you are the only person
in the world worth begging for

suddenly i’m an eighteenth century author
crafting a carefully colossal conjuring
we’re in love between the lines
you are the only muse
that exists outside my mind

suddenly i’m a dream girl
bearing black boots while braless
like you have any interest in the fantasy
you are the only artist
who doesn’t mold lovers like clay

i am soap opera school girl
careful creator, cardboard cutout
this is the most dangerous way to love
i lay out your options
say “shape me how you want me”
like you ever wanted me at all