RE: Pharmercy discourse

I did a pretty poor job of explaining my side of the story because when I get thrown into conflict I get muddled up. Pressure in general messes with my head and makes it hard for me to get my thoughts across.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I personally, am strongly attracted to girls who are hairy/buff etc etc because in my eyes, it’s a sign that she embraces her body for what it is. She doesn’t try to hide her natural body and it’s in that confidence that she becomes attractive. And it’s not just hairy buff girls. Freckles, stretch marks, you name it. If a girl is rocking it, she’s beautiful to me.

I myself am super hairy, not buff or big but neither am I conventionally attractive, so I like to draw characters I’m attached to as so, because that’s how I vent. It’s how I show the world that I love my imperfections. I don’t draw people as hairy or unconventionally attractive because I think their ethnic group consists of nothing but “animalistic caricatures”, I draw them like that because I want to try and say “look at this person and how proud they are of their xxx, aren’t they pretty regardless?”. Because that’s how I feel about my own body.

And you know what? I’m almost certain there are other girls out there who feel the same, be they black, white, middle eastern, etc etc , they all probably wished there were more characters who matched their appearance just like I do. And to have people comment that drawing girls like that makes them look like gorillas or apes? Like is it ok to call a girl an ape or a gorilla because she’s a little hairier and a little less femme than what most people think is attractive? I’m pretty sure the answer is no.

When I draw Pharah as muscular and hairy, it’s not because I don’t think she can be draw as dainty as how most people, inc myself, draw Mercy, it’s because that’s the Pharah I’m attracted to, and the one I relate to the most.

I think the Pharah I draw is hella attractive, and that’s why I found it hard to understand people who told me I drew her like a monkey. Because that’s not how I saw her. And that’s not how I see anyone who’s a little hairy or buff.

When I designed Mercy and Pharah (in my recent stuff) I wanted Mercy to be the cute one and Pharah to be the attractive one. I know my taste in women is niche and that’s probably why a lot of people saw it as “dainty flower mercy and hulking beast Pharah”, but that’s not what I was going for. Nor will it ever be what I’m going for. It was simply a romance dynamic out of many that I liked and thought was cute. One thing I’m seeing a hella lot is these people using my old Pharmercy art, which even I don’t like anymore (hence why I deleted them) to point out why they think I’m racist and why I’m a bad person. Obviously at the time I never meant for the characters to be portrayed as ugly or racist but when people pointed it out I realized it and changed my artstyle, especially for Pharah, because yes, she, and DVA look terrible in those, and I’m totally aware of how trash they look and I apologize for not seeing it sooner. What I don’t get is why are people bringing up my old af work that even I don’t like anymore to point out flaws? I was atleast expecting people to point out problems in my recent stuff which has gone un-noticed, considering the discord happened today, not months ago when I drew that older stuff. But anyway, the only reason I draw Pharah the way I do is because I see that body type as attractive, and to me it made more sense as she flies around with heavy armor all day long, gravity must put a lot of pressure on her body, causing her to build up a lot more muscle than Mercy, who, yes, wears armor too, but a much lighter one. I know it’s not how she looks canonically, but a lot of fictional characters are altered from their original design to appeal to the artist (changing skin tone/ethnicity etc), so having mentioned what I said about finding Pharah attractive, how is it bad that I drew her buffer than what she actually is? Like, if people want to see more butch Mercy and femenine Pharah I’m more than down for that, it’s just not my primary preference and that’s why I haven’t drawn it yet. I hope this better clarifies my reasons. And if you still think I’m in the wrong then it’s as simple as blocking me. I’m here to draw lesbian girls, not have a war. And I will continue to do so until I die. I’m ok with people unfollowing me if they want, I wont force you to stay if you don’t like what I produce, but understand that I have no hidden agenda other than to draw really hot buff girls. And if you want me to try something different then it’s as simple as asking nicely. Thanks.

I know I shouldn’t look, but I can’t turn away.