girl-impression

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

  • me: *grabbing seaweed out of the ocean with my bare hands to impress cute girls on the beach*
  • girl 1: oh my god, that guy is grabbing seaweed out of the ocean with his bare hands
  • girl 2: really?? is he crying??
  • girl 1: only a little bit
  • girl 2: wow thats hot

Kurt Cobain: was mentally and physically abused by his biological father because he had ADHD and was hyperactive which bothered his dad.

Kurt Cobain: his parents didn’t want him to play with poor kids because he was “better than them” and he was forced to wear a sweater he was allergic to so his mom would brag how her kids “were the best dressed kids in town”

Kurt Cobain: thought he was the reason of his parents divorce since his parents usually argued about his up-bringing which made him feel guilty and embarassed 

Kurt Cobain: witnessed his mother being abused by her boyfriend who once broke her arm and felt guilty because he couldn’t do anything about it

Kurt Cobain: moved to live with his dad in a trailer trying to improve their relationship but his dad ended up marrying another woman after promising his 10 year old son not to remarry

Kurt Cobain: couldn’t get along with his step-mom because he felt that if he would love her he would betray his mom and because his father treated his step-siblings better than him which made him withdrawn and deprssed 

Kurt Cobain: he had minor scoliosis but both of his parents didn’t care which caused several physical problems in the future mainly his stomach problems

Kurt Cobain: was forced by his father to practice sports and left his father’s house when he was 14 after a huge argument because he lost a wrestling match 

Kurt Cobain: his mother didn’t want him to come live with her so he had to move from relative to relative. None of his relatives afforded his stay which made him feel depressed and un-wanted

Kurt Cobain: moved to live with his mom and her husband and he was constantly abused by his step-dad for being a virgin and single and often called him “loser” and “faggot”

Kurt Cobain: was bullied in high school for being friends with a gay boy and because he was intersted in arts while the other boys were interested in sports

Kurt Cobain: started smoking pot when he was 13 to deal with his depression and his mother didn’t bother to stop him because she was also smoking pot that she hid in her jewerly box and she even once took a drag from her son’s joint at a party

Kurt Cobain: got kicked out of his mom’s house at 17 because he brought a girl with him to impress his step-dad who would always brag about how many girls he slept with when he was in Kurt’s age

Kurt Cobain: was homeless when he was just 17 and he would sometimes sleep in the library, in the hospital waiting room or on cardboards and he NEVER complained to anyone about it

Kurt Cobain: had to quit school at 18 to find a job to afford his bread and rent a dirty and smelly shack and he went through several jobs including being a janitor at his own high school

Kurt Cobain: he was kicked out of his appartements several times because he couldn’t afford to pay the rent until moving in with his first girlfriend when he was 21

Kurt Cobain: suffered from severe stomach problems because he had  a pinched nerve in his spine caused by his untreated scoliosis and he didn’t talk about it because he didn’t want to bother people which later made him medicate himself using heroin in littles doses to kill the pain   

Kurt Cobain: would sometimes stop in the middle of the performance to check if the people who stage dived were ok

Kurt Cobain: heard the story of a 14 year old girl who got raped and wrote a song about her (Polly) 

Kurt Cobain: hated sexists, racists and homophobes and didn’t want them to come to his shows and always expressed his annoyance because of their presence

Kurt Cobain: respected women dearly and encouraged feminist movements (like Riot Grrrls) 

Kurt Cobain: tried to quit drugs and went to rehab twice in a row. Once when his wife was pregnant and a second time when his daughter was born

Kurt Cobain: accepted to play a benefit for rape survivors in Bosnia and Herzegovina and didn’t get a dime for his performance

Kurt Cobain: wrote a song about rape (Rape Me) because he wanted to attract media’s attention to that issue and kept playing it despite the critics and the controversy that surrounded the song

Kurt Cobain: played a gay rights benefit supporting No-on-Nine

Kurt Cobain: stopped in the middle of the song to defend a girl who was being harrassed and kicked the man out of the show after making him feel ashamed about himself

Kurt Cobain: used his fame to promote good bands who weren’t famous and was bothered by media’s focus on his band only and openly expressed how he thought bands like Soundgarden and Alice In Chains were better and deserve more recogniation

Kurt Cobain: didn’t want to be called “a voice of a generation” because his drug use was exposed and he didn’t want to influence anybody negatively and he felt that he was judged by media which deepened his depresion because of his insecurity and made his drug addiction worse

Media: Kurt Cobain was a rock star junkie who hated fame and commited suicide because of it at age 27

People: Kurt Cobain is an emo pussy! He was a coward for killing himself and he was a junkie loser! He was always complaining about how his life sucked and the only thing he did is whine and sing about depression!

Some might say I was going for a Greaser vibe, or an Outsiders vibe… I think I was more going for a That-Episode-Of-Steven-Universe-When-Pearl-Is-Trying-To-Impress-The-Girl-With-Pink-Hair vibe 🕶

The Reason I Don’t Do Cold Readings Anymore…

by reddit user Skarjo

I don’t do ‘Cold Readings’ anymore. I don’t tell fortunes. I don’t read tea leaves.

And I do not do contact ‘the other side’.

Look, don’t judge me alright? It was an easy gig. I mean, the first time I did it, it was a joke. I did it just to impress a girl. You’ve been there right? It was something I’d read about online and I thought I’d give it a go.

Keep reading

How to Flirt with a Queen like Jon Snow -Finale Update 

Step 1) Challenge her: Whatever you do, don’t bend the knee. Be defiant & irrational as hell! 

Step 2) Casually drop BDSM subtext into conversation

Step 3) Be Mysterious : Just when your wingmam builds up your backstory, stop him as he is about to disclose the most intriguing information about you. A little something for her to think about when you’re not around.

Step 4) Casually throw in your man-pain into the mix during casual chit chat as you brood and sombrely stare in the distance. Sun setting over the sea in the backdrop helps the aesthetic.

Step 5) Take her to a pretty cave. Girls love dimly lit caves for first dates.

Step 6) Introduce her to your hobbies and interests, which in your case is white walkers and white walkers alone. Couples who nerd out together stay together.

Step 7) Establish non-sexual physical contact to make sure that you’re welcome in her personal space. 

Step 8) Tell her you believe in her when she comes to you with a problem. She wants someone to listen, not to problem solve.

Step 9) The key to every single mother’s heart is, gain your future step childrens’ trust. Since her kids are literal fire breathing dragons who could kill you, it’s high risk, high reward. But if you succeed…Boom Overies! 

Step 10) When your competition tries to steal your thunder to impress your girl, activate full alpha male irrational mode.  It’s a bad plan but it’s worth it because you found out that she fears for your life more. 

Step 11) Leave her with a fearless warrior’s goodbye, like the smooth talking bastard you are and hope that she misses you half as much as you did when you waited for her at the cliff daily hoping she would return safely from battle.

Step 12) Oh shit she flirted back. Shit…shit…shit…you weren’t prepared for this. Be cool, Jon! Quick, say something normal and Kingly. 

Step 13) No situation is too dire to not check in and send a raven to bae, even when a hoard of ice zombies are chasing you. Especially, when a hoard of ice zombies is chasing you, because now that your jealous alpha male daze has passed, you can see that your plan sucks and only bae can save the day.

Step 14) Admire her badassery when she literally descends from the sky on a firebreathing dragon like the angel of death here to save you in your most hopeless moment. Congratulations! You now know how much she loves you. If you are the shortest person in the squad, shove them aside to check out  bae.

Step 15) Don’t miss the opportunity to put your heroics on display. If you swing your sword like a total badass, maybe she’ll want to hold your other sword later.

Step 16) Even while dying of hypothermia flex your chest and abs when she’s looking. Gotta be hot and mysterious with those scars until your dying breath.

Step 17) Comfort her as she grieves, apologise for the plan that caused her great loss and most of all now that she’s all in, bend the fucking knee already.

Step 18) Come up with a cute an endearing nickname for her and casually slip it into conversation.

Step 19) Now that you know she has triggering memories of that nickname, settle for her greatest kink instead.

Step 20) Did she just hold your hand? Yes! It really is her greatest kink! Now that you are on on a winning streak like the smooth bastard you are and there’s solid hand holding action going on, don’t let go. Hold on tighter and look at her with those longing direwolf puppy eyes and beg her to stay. You might be at the brink of death but you’ve died before, no big deal, you can muster the strength to bone.

Step 21) Well how about that you horny idiot? You read all the signs wrong! Now is not the time, she’s grieving. Close your eyes to escape this awkward situation before you die of embarrassment and pretend to sleep. You’re doing great sweetie.

Step 22) Declare your loyalty to her at the least opportune time. It might seem ill advised, but you’re not here for politics, you’re here to look sexy in your furcoat & turn on your woman.

Step 23) Now that she’s completely onboard with your zombie killing interests, learn more about her heritage & culture. ‘Couples who nerd out together, stay together’ is a two way street. Gotta learn everything about Dragons & High Valarian quotes.

Step 24) You’ve been a defiant & unimpressed bad boy all this time but in her most hopeless moment, confess how amazing she is in your eyes. 

Step 25) As someone who has come back to life even though the witch performing the ritual didn’t believe she could do it, you dont buy into magic birth control setup by low level witches. Slip your ability to impregnate her casually into conversation.

Step 26) Invite her on your boat, nothing sets the room like a romantic cruise.

Step 27) Come on Jon, you’ve fought zombies! Don’t be afraid to ride the dragon…knock on her door already & just barge in like the smooth & take charge bastard you are.

Step 28) Take a moment to really appreciate & let it sink in that you actually are balls deep in your Queen. You did it Jonny boy! You do know some things ;)

Dany’s version - How to flirt with a King like Daenerys Targaryen 

BOYS: a playlist for when you’re busy dreamin bout boys but also practicing your new rules

Boys - Charli XCX
The Louvre - Lorde
Fantasy - Mariah Carey
Into You - Ariana Grande
Sparks - Hilary Duff
Teenage Dream - Katy Perry
Lovefool - The Cardigans
Wild Thoughts - DJ Khaled
Bad Liar - Selena Gomez
Love - Lana Del Rey 
I Really Like You - Carly Rae Jepsen
Shower - Becky G
Nothing In This World - Paris Hilton
Superlove - Tinashe
The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani
Touch - Little Mix
I Think I’m in Love with You - Jessica Simpson
Like A Virgin - Madonna
The Cure - Lady Gaga
Perfect Illusion - Lady Gaga
Woman - Kesha
How To Be A Heartbreaker - Marina and The Diamonds
Potential Breakup Song - Aly & AJ
Needed Me - Rihanna
I Hate Boys - Christina Aguilera
Dead - Madison Beer
Ring The Alarm - Beyonce
Too Little, Too Late - Jojo
Lady Marmalade - Christina Aguilera, Mya, Lil Kim, and P!nk
I Don’t Need A Man - The Pussycat Dolls
Independent Women, Pt. I - Destiny’s Child
Feeling Myself - Nicki Minaj & Beyonce
Cool Girl - Tove Lo
That Don’t Impress Me Much - Shania Twain
I Love It - Icona Pop & Charli XCX
Smile - Lily Allen 
Strong Enough - Cher
Dancing On My Own - Robyn
The Weekend - SZA
Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood
U + Ur Hand - P!nk
Goodbye - Kristina DeBarge
Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson
Stronger - Britney Spears
New Rules - Dua Lipa

Listen Here

Death Note (2017)

This movie was…well, it was something. And that something is terrible. My thoughts:

Good Things:

  • William Dafoe as Ryuk was amazing. He fit the part perfectly and was delightfully creepy. 
  • Kieth Stanfield was surprisingly good as L. His mannerisms were perfect, and his more emotional approach gave the character an appealing weakness amidst his oddity.
  • The few gambits that actually appeared were very well-crafted, particularly the finale. They actually felt like Death Note, unlike the rest of the film.
  • Light’s facial expressions and girlish screams made me laugh so much that I’m putting them here

Bad Things:

  • The establishing shots existing only to demonstrate how Mia and Light are edgy outcasts who will naturally have perfect chemistry
  • “Light Turner”
  • Everything about Light’s character. He’s the opposite of the original character- an outcast, stupid, easily controlled by his emotions, acts like the most suspicious person on the planet, outright admits to being Kira to L’s face- everything that made the original Light great is gone and replaced with something that doesn’t fit. 
  • How is decapitation the first method of death you think of for a school bully
  • The pacing is so bad. Like, it’s hard to even give a specific example because the entire movie counts.
  • “Your mom was kind of a hippie.” THAT DOES NOT EXCUSE HOW STUPID HIS NAME SOUNDS.
  • Where are the mind games and gambits? There were precisely two moments that felt like the original in terms of genius and complexity.
  • Character motivations. Almost no one has a believable reason for doing what they do. Mia especially. She just…comes out of left field.
  • “If we make the deaths super gory, people will think we’re cool.”
  • “If we say the word fuck a lot, people will think we’re cool.”
  • The lack of subtlety. 
  • L comes from a creepy orphanage for some reason
  • Matsuda is not here
  • The romantic plot is so. Bad. “Hey, I can impress a girl by showing her how I have the power to murder anyone I want!” “Hey, I’m into that!” “Let’s plot the deaths of dozens of people on our next date!”
  • On that note, all the dialogue is terrible
  • There’s something about the way everyone treats L that’s just…off. In the original, he was eccentric but respected. Here, he’s eccentric and no one likes him.
  • Why is Watari so obsessed with sleep????
  • Watari was pretty much wasted tbh
  • No feel of rivalry between Light and L whatsoever. 
  • THE TOP HAT
  • Why is everything so edgy????
  • The flowers that just friggin…explode when Mia lands on them
  • What is with the corny pop music at inappropriate times???
  • Light having a “Normal People Scare Me” sticker on his locker pretty much summarizes the entire movie
  • No potato chip scene. A travesty

Basically, watch this movie if you want a good laugh via ridiculous edginess, unneeded gore, and necessary swearing. I would’ve liked to see an Americanized Death Note that made better use of its differences from the original to better fit its target audience, but this movie just tried waaaaaay too hard to be dark and gritty while giving nothing of substance. But it is hilarious. And at least it’s got William Defoe.

Cloud Strife:
“Here I met a Flower Girl.
She’s a girl with impressive eyes.
She’s around my age, or elder by one or two years.
But the innocent radiance in her eyes simply makes her suddenly look younger.
Aerith Gainsborough: ”Excuse me, what happened?”
She asked me the question, and then I bought a flower from her, which is rare in Midgar.
Maybe she’s pleased that the flower was sold, because the worried look on her face had vanished.
If this smile costs only one gil, it is a good purchase.”
~Final Fantasy VII Dismantled; Square Enix

The New Girl in English Class

Originally posted by riverdales-daily

Anon requests: hi could you please do an imahine where reader is quiet and a bit of a loner and sits in the back of class and one day in english they have to write something and present it to the class and jughead underestimates her but then is actually really impressed and develops a crush on her?? thank u

Hi, Uhm I absolutly love your account. I was wondering if you could do one where y/n is new to Riverdale and ends up be a loner, and since jughead knows what that’s like they become friends <3 lots of fluff. Please and thank you

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Description: Jughead isn’t a social butterfly, but the new girl, with her impressive writing skills, may be an exception.

Warnings: none

Word count: 958

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing this one, hope you enjoy!


Jughead didn’t care much for his classmates.  He had a select amount of friends, and they satisfied him.  He found no point in socializing with other people just for the sake of more people to talk to.  (Y/N) (Y/L/N), the new girl, was no exception to Jughead’s belief.  She had recently moved to Riverdale, and she sat in the back of Jughead’s English class.  Although he never saw her with any friends, Jughead felt no obligation to act friendly towards (Y/N) because she had no other friends.  That was not his job.

“New girl’s pretty,” Veronica commented at lunch one day.  Jughead looked up from his chips at Veronica.

“So what?” he asked, eyebrows raised.  Veronica raised her hands in mock-surrender.

“Woah there, Jughead,” she rolled her eyes, “I’m just saying.”

“I feel bad for her,” Betty joined in on the conversation.  “I don’t think she has any friends.”

“Being the new girl is hard,” Veronica empathized with (Y/N), popping a fry in her mouth.  “It’s hard to make friends at a new school.  I got lucky with you guys.”  The whole table cooed at what Veronica said, then laughed.


Their English teacher made them write an analysis on the book the class had just finished.  Jughead, a natural-born writer, finished it with ease. Most of the rest of his class, from what he could tell, struggled with the assignment.

The day that the assignment was due, the English teacher surprised everyone by announcing that the analysis would have to be read in front of the whole class.  This sent some of Jughead’s classmates into a frenzy because no one felt confident in their writing.  Jughead was the only volunteer to read.  He stepped up in front of the class and effortlessly read his analysis, and once he finished he plopped back into his chair.  Because there were no more volunteers, his teacher began to randomly select students.  Every student who went up stuttered and fumbled and lacked proper analysis in Jughead’s opinion.  Unimpressed, he sat in his chair with his arms crossed and a judgmental look plastered on his face.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N),” the teacher called out.  Jughead shifted in his seat so he could glance at the new girl.  Her eyes were wide as she shakily stood up.  Grabbing her paper, she ventured to the front of the classroom.  She cleared her throat and began to read.  Jughead was shocked by her eloquence: her voice was clear and smooth, her writing was immaculate, and her analysis had extreme depth.  When she finished, she quickly sat down before any students had the chance to applaud.

The bell rang, and while the other students dashed out of the room, Jughead approached (Y/N) as she stuffed her binders into her bag.

“That was impressive,” he commented, leaning against the desk in front of her.  She turned to face him.

“What was impressive?” she inquired, pulling a bit of hair behind her ears.

“Your writing,” Jughead answered. “It was very eloquent.  You’re very good.”

“Yours was better,” she responded, shrugged her bag onto her shoulder.  She began to exit the classroom, and Jughead followed in her footsteps.

“That’s debatable,” he countered, “and I don’t say that too often.”  (Y/N) laughed at that, causing Jughead to crack a smile.

“Well then, I’m glad that someone has finally met your standards,” she quipped, and his smile widened.  “Anyhow, it was nice talking to you, but I have to go to history now.”  Her pace quickened as she left Jughead’s side, and he stood in the hallway as he watched her walk away.  He barely noticed that his cheeks were a bit redder than usual.


Over the course of the next two weeks, Jughead tried to get to know (Y/N) better.  He moved his seat so that he was next to her in English.  He began to invite her to his table to eat lunch with him and his friends.  Although they all noticed his shift in attitude, they chose to remain silent. They were going to let Jughead figure this one out on his own.

It took Jughead another three weeks before he finally realized what happened.  He was sitting in his booth with (Y/N) across from him.  They were working on an English project, each of them working on their own individual assignment.  There was no conversation being tossed between them, just a soothing silence.  Jughead looked up from his writing and saw the girl sitting across from him, and then it hit him.  He liked her.  

“(Y/N),” her name spilled out of his mouth before he could stop himself.  Her head snapped up, and she shot him a puzzled glance.

“Yes, Jug?” she questioned. Jug.  When did she start calling him that?

“When did you start calling me that?” he voiced his thoughts.  (Y/N) shrugged.

“I don’t know,” she answered. But he didn’t care about the answer to that question.  What he was really wondering was when did everything change?

“Is this a date?” his words stumbled over one another as they poured out of his mouth.  He immediately regretted saying that.

“I didn’t think it was,” (Y/N) remained calm.  “It can be if you want.”  Jughead almost missed the second part of her reply, but once it registered in his mind, he burst into a grin.  (Y/N) shook her head with a smile etched onto her face, and turned back to her English work.

“Or would this not be our first date, since we’ve come to Pop’s together so many times before?” Jughead wondered aloud.  (Y/N) laughed as she set her pencil down.

“It’s our first date, Jug,” she told him.  “It’s the first because we didn’t acknowledge it before.”  Jughead smiled cheekily.

“Then this is a great first date.”

If TJLC isn't real...

• Why did Sherlock show an obvious disinterest in women during his first minute of screen time
• Why did Sherlock wink at John when he first met him
• Why did Mrs Hudson assume that John was Sherlock’s new boyfriend
• Why did Sherlock not correct her
• Why did John say ‘oh god yes’ the way he did
• Why does John call Sherlock brilliant and fantastic all the time
• Why did Angelo assume John and Sherlock were on a date
• Why did Sherlock not correct him
• Why did John ask if Sherlock had a girlfriend
• Why did Sherlock say that girlfriends aren’t his area
• Why did John ask Sherlock if he had a boyfriend
• Why did John smile and lick his lips when he discovered that Sherlock was single
• Why did Sherlock assume that John was asking him out
• Why was the scene where they are laughing in the hallway filmed like a post-sex bed scene
• Why did Sherlock cure John’s psychosomatic limp
• Why did Mycroft say ‘may we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?’
• Why did John instantly trust Sherlock and is loyal to him when he has trust issues
• Why did Lestrade say that John knows Sherlock better than he does even though Lestrade has known him for years and John had known him for a day
• Why the prolonged eye contact
• Why did John shoot a man to save Sherlock even though he had known him for a day
• Why did Sherlock look at John the way he did in the car park
• Why did they get dinner together afterwards
• Why did Sherlock suggest that they go on a date
• Why did Sherlock crash John’s date
• Why did he spin John around by his shoulders in order to ‘maximise his visual memory’
• Why was Sherlock so arsey to Sarah
• Why did Sherlock watch John walk away from Baker Street through the window
• Why did Mrs Hudson ask if they’d had a ‘little domestic’
• Why did Sherlock not correct her
• Why did John sleep on Sarah’s sofa
• Why did Sherlock know that Jim from IT was gay because he is well groomed and uses product in his hair when Sherlock is very well groomed and uses product in his hair
• Why does Sherlock know gay underwear trends
• Why did John say ‘I hope you will be very happy together’ when Sherlock talked about Moriarty
• Why did Donovan say to John ‘opposites attract, I suppose’
• Why did Sherlock look at John after Moriarty said ‘I’ll burn the heart out of you’
• Why did Moriarty say ‘we both know that’s not quite true’ when Sherlock said that he’s ‘been reliably informed that he doesn’t have [a heart]’
• Why did Sherlock freak out so much when he removed the Semtex from John
• Why does that scene look and sound sexual
• Why was John’s first thought ‘I hope nobody saw you ripping off my clothes they might talk’
• Why do they agree to die together
• Why does Sherlock always talk to John even when he’s not there
• Why did Sherlock say that sex doesn’t alarm him
• Why did Sherlock steal an ashtray for John
• Why did Sherlock only look at Irene’s face when she was fully naked
• Why did Irene say ‘somebody loves you, if I had to punch that face, I’d avoid your nose and teeth too’ and look at John
• Why did John get annoyed and say ‘I had a tea at the palace too, if anyone’s interested’
• Why could Sherlock deduce John perfectly but not deduce Irene at all
• Why did Irene say that she wasn’t sure that Sherlock knew ‘where to look’
• Why did Sherlock stutter when John flirted with Irene
• Why was Sherlock’s first thought John when he woke up • Why did John cancel his date to look after Sherlock
• Why did John get annoyed at Sherlock’s erotic moan text alert
• Why did John count the texts that Sherlock got from Irene
• Why did Sherlock ignore all of these texts
• Why did John’s girlfriend say that John is 'a great boyfriend and Sherlock Holmes is a very lucky man’ and that she didn’t want to 'compete with Sherlock Holmes’
• Why was she dressed like Sherlock
• Why can’t John tell his girlfriends apart
• Why did John say that Sherlock acts heartbroken all the time
• Why did John get so angry at Irene when she came back
• Why did he shout 'you’ve texted him a lot!’
• Why did he say 'you… Flirted… With Sherlock Holmes?’ in that tone of voice
• Why did Irene ask if he’s jealous
• Why did Irene (who knows what people like) say that they are a couple
• Why did John not deny this
• Why did John not reply when Irene said 'well I… Am [gay]. Look at us both’
• Why did Sherlock look so emotional after hearing this
• Why did John ask Sherlock how he felt about Irene being alive
• Why did John playfully say 'what, in your bedroom?’ When Sherlock said that they had a client while standing in his room
• Why did Sherlock start talking to John even though he wasn’t present and Irene was
• Why did he say to Irene 'why would I want to have dinner if I wasn’t hungry?’ Even though he always goes to dinner with John and doesn’t eat anything
• Why did John say 'John Hamish Watson, just if you were looking for baby names’
• Why did Irene tell Sherlock to 'impress a girl’ and then he looked at John while deducing
• Why does Sherlock say 'don’t feel obliged to tell that that was amazing or wonderful; John’s already expressed that in every variant available to the English language’
• Why did Sherlock say 'don’t be absurd’ when Mycroft assumed that he loved Irene
• Why did Sherlock randomly say 'I suppose John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me’ in the middle of a conversation that had nothing to do with John and was about love and sentiment
• Why does Mycroft consult John on matters of Sherlock’s heart
• Why did John look relieved and smile when Sherlock said 'why would I want to see her again?’
• Why did the gay couple that own the inn in Dartmoor assume that Sherlock and John were a couple
• Why did John not correct them
• Why did Sherlock smirk at John when he pulled rank
• Why did John say 'you with your… Cheekbones and turning your collar up so you look cool’
• Why did Dr Frankland refer to John as Sherlocks’s 'live in PA’
• Why did Sherlock defensively ask 'what about us?’ When Henry said 'look at you and John’
• Why did the papers assume that John is a 'confirmed bachelor’ (euphemism for a gay man)
• Why did John say that they 'need to be more careful’
• Why did John not reply when Sherlock asked why other people’s options of Sherlock upset him
• Why did Sherlock and John stare at each other in the mirror while getting ready for the trail
• Why did Sherlock say 'you repel me’ with such poison after Kitty Reilly said that there’s 'all sorts of gossip in the press’ about him and that she can 'settle the record straight’
• Why does Molly say to Sherlock 'you look sad, when you think he can’t see you’
• Why did Sherlock only lose his shit when he thought that John was starting to doubt him
• Why did John chin the chief superintendent for calling Sherlock a weirdo
• Why did John trust Sherlock with holding a loaded gun to his head
• Why was John’s first thought 'people will definitely talk’ after Sherlock held his hand and they ran together down the street
• Why was Sherlock’s first thought 'John’ when Moriarty said that the people he cares about will die
• Why did Sherlock cry on the roof
• Why was Sherlock’s 'last’ words 'goodbye, John’
• Why did John look so heartbroken
• Why did John’s therapist say 'the things you meant to say… But never did. Say them now’
• Why did John refuse
• What were the things he never said
• Why did John say at Sherlock’s grave 'one more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don’t… Be… Dead’
• Why did John mourn Sherlock more like a lover than a friend
• Why were the S*erl0lololo and S***i4rty ship fan theories dismissed as 'bollocks’ when Johnlock, the main ship in fandom, wasn’t mentioned
• Why did Sherlock look so happy to be returning to London
• Why did Mrs Hudson assume that John was about to tell her he was ill when he was actually about to inform her of his engagement to 'Mary’
• Why did John say that he was 'moving on’ from Sherlock
• Why did Mrs Hudson assume that he was engaged to a man
• Why did Mrs Hudson think that Sherlock was John’s boyfriend after years of knowing them both very well
• Why did Sherlock keep asking about John while Mycroft gave him important information about the terrorists
• Why did Sherlock suggest that he jump out of a cake (which is an action which is usually sexualised)
• Why did Sherlock interrupt John’s proposal to 'Mary’
• Why did John not whisper when proposing to 'Mary’, like he normally does when he is emotional
• Why did John say 'one word, that’s all I would have needed. One word to let me know that you were alive’
• What did he need the one word for
• Why did Sherlock say 'you have missed this… Admit it… just the two of us against the rest of the world’ right in front of 'Mary’
• Why did Sherlock look so hurt as he watched John and 'Mary’ drive away
• Why was solving crimes and going on a date linked together via Molly
• Why did Sherlock keep hearing John’s voice in his head
• Why did he call Molly 'John’
• Why did John shave off his mustache because Sherlock didn’t like it
• Why did John not want 'Mary’ to read his blog
• Why does 'Mary’ always tease John about Sherlock
• Why did John look delighted at the prospect of Sherlock coming to the clinic in disguise
• Why was Sherlock so panicked when he realised that John was in danger
• Why was he more panicked than 'Mary’
• Why did Sherlock run straight into the fire to drag John out while 'Mary’ just kind of… Stood there
• Why did Sherlock cup John’s face
• Why is Sherlock in focus and 'Mary’ isn’t when the camera shows John’s POV
• Why did Sherlock want to get rid of his parents when John arrived
• Why did Sherlock say that he likes his 'doctors clean shaven’
• Why did Sherlock tell John to go and save himself when the bomb switched on
• Why did they have an intense discussion about feelings when John thought that they were about to die
• Why did John say that Sherlock is the 'best and wisest man’ that he has even known
• Why did Sherlock pretend to not care/ forget about the wedding
• Why did he try and get Mrs Hudson to leave when she talked about her maid of honour and the end of eras
• Why did Sherlock sadly stare at John’s chair
• Why did he say 'into battle’ before putting his wedding suit on
• Why do we not see any of the actual wedding
• Why did Sherlock not move when the photographer said 'just the bride and groom, please’
• Why did Sherlock look so weirded out when Janine said 'no sex, okay’
• Why is Sherlock so skilled at gauging the attractiveness of men
• Why did John not care about 'Mary’’s ex coming to their wedding
• Why did Sherlock get obviously jealous of Sholto
• Why did 'Mary’ notice this and say 'neither of us were the first, you know’
• Why did Mycroft tell Sherlock to 'not get involved’
• Why did Sherlock compare his love for John to 'Mary’’s love for John multiple times in his best man speech
• Why did Sherlock go catatonic when John asked him to be best man
• Why was that scene so similar to a marriage proposal
• Why did Sherlock call John 'the bravest and kindest and wisest man’ that he has 'ever had the good fortune of knowing’
• Why the elephant in the room
• Why was John looking for cases to go on with Sherlock instead of planning his wedding
• Why was Sherlock scared of John and 'Mary’ getting married
• Why did John make a weird face when he called Sherlock 'mate’
• Why did Sherlock imply that he was John’s 'current commander’ and that Sholto was John’s 'ex’
• Why did Sherlock get up and leave when John started talking about 'Mary’ changing his life
• Why did John compare his relationship with 'Mary’ to his relationship with Sherlock
• Why did Sherlock look so weirded out when Molly said that she’s having a lot of sex with Tom
• Why does Sherlock have a file on John
• What is in the file
• Why did he print out and glue a picture of John’s face onto a picture of the Vitruvian man (the ideal man)
• Why did John and Sherlock go to a gay bar during the stag night
• Why did the lights look like the bisexual flag
• Why did they lie together on the stairs at Baker Street
• Why did John grope Sherlock’s knee and say 'I don’t mind’
• Why did their feet keep touching
• Why did Sherlock look so upset at Tessa’s story of unrequited love
• Why did he take his arm away from John’s shoulders when Tessa said 'I would of liked to have gone further’
• Why did Sherlock lie on the floor with his arse in the air
• Why did Sherlock refer to the night as a 'wasted opportunity’
• Why did Sherlock ramble about John’s cooking and jumpers in the middle of the speech
• Why did Sherlock tell a room full of women in his mind palace 'not you’ one by one but then pointed at John and said 'it’s always you. John Watson, you keep me right’
• Why did John touch Sherlock on the back when he saw him with Janine
• Why do we see Sherlock give a vow to always be there for John but not see John and 'Mary’ give their wedding vows
• Why did Sherlock teach John how to dance
• Why did Sherlock and John look at each other… The way they did on the dance floor
• Why did John and 'Mary’ act worried, annoyed, angry and panicked to the news of Mary being pregnant
• Why did Sherlock leave the wedding early
• Why did John’s war nightmares come back after not seeing Sherlock in a month
• Why did Sherlock go back to drugs after not seeing John in a month
• Why did John dream about Sherlock
• Why did John dress like and act like Sherlock
• Why are the first glimpses of John and 'Mary’’s married life of them arguing
• Why did Sherlock move John’s chair
• Why did John act… They way he did when he saw Janine come out of Sherlock’s bedroom
• Why did his jaw clench when he heard her getting into the bath
• Why was John so focused on Sherlock and Janine’s 'relationship’ when Sherlock was giving him important case info
• Why did he look so disgusted when they kissed
• Why did Sherlock kiss Janine so… Badly
• Why did John look so heartbroken when Sherlock 'proposed’ to Janine
• Why did 'Mary’ shoot Sherlock
• Why did Sherlock try to go to the John section of his mind palace when mind palace!Mycroft told him to find something to calm him down
• Why did mind palace!'Mary’ shoot Sherlock in her wedding dress when Sherlock went to the John section of his mind palace
• Why did Sherlock restart his own heart when mind palace!Moriarty said 'John Watson is definitely in danger’
• Why did Sherlock never sleep with Janine
• Why did Janine say 'I know what kind of man you are’
• What kind of man is Sherlock
• Why did Sherlock escape hospital while bleeding internally in order to move John’s chair back
• Why did Sherlock and 'Mary’ keep linking John’s romantic preferences to danger to both of them
• Why did Sherlock say 'because you chose her’
• Why did John say 'always your way’
• Why did John’s 'forgiveness’ speech to 'Mary’ seem so stoic
• Why did John leave his unconscious drugged pregnant wife to go off with Sherlock
• Why did Magnussen say 'but look how you care about John Watson’
• Why did Sherlock look so hurt when he was forced to watch Magnussen flicking John’s face and threatening him
• Why did Sherlock shoot Magnussen
• Why did Sherlock get everyone else to leave the Tarmac
• Why did Sherlock say 'there’s something I’ve meant to say always but then never have’
• What did he actually mean to say (Because it clearly wasn’t 'Sherlock is actually a girls name’)
• Why did he say that he thinks the name 'Sherlock Watson’ could work
• Why was the first image in Sherlock’s drug induced Victorian case solving mind palace simulation John’s eyes
• Why was Sherlock so angry at a woman being in his sitting room
• Why did he refer to himself as John’s 'unsavoury companion of dubious morals’
• Why did he play John and 'Mary’’s waltz in his violin while they argued
• Why did Molly call Sherlock John’s daddy
• Why did he talk to John when John had moved out of Baker Street months ago
• Why did the maid point out the problems in John and 'Mary’’s marriage
• Why did Sherlock say that he and John were 'together’ in sign language
• Why did John say 'two old friends chewing the fat… Man to man’ so awkwardly
• Why did Sherlock say that the fairer sex was John’s department
• Why did mind palace!John question Sherlock about his sexual experience
• Why did he show jealousy of Irene Adler
• Why did he ask him why Sherlock needs to be alone
• Why did Sherlock keep referring to ghosts and the ghosts of his past etc
• Why was mind palace!Moriarty so… sexual
• Why did Sherlock deliberately overdose before the tarmac
• Why was he reading the story of how they met on John’s blog
• Why did Mycroft say 'do you really think anyone’s believing you?’ After Sherlock said he was reading it because he’s 'so much cleverer’ through John’s eyes
• Why was real John and mind palace!John so angry at Sherlock about the drugs
• Why did he say that he’s 'happy to play the fool’ for Sherlock and 'make him look clever’
• Why did 'I thought that I was losing you. I thought perhaps we were neglecting each other’ 'well you were the one who moved out’ 'I was talking to Mary’ happen
• Why were phrases such as 'the heart of the conspiracy’ and 'they are right, and we are wrong’ and 'the women we have disparaged and ignored’ used
• Why did Sherlock say that John’s 'always right’
• Why did John save Sherlock from Moriarty at the Reichenbach Falls
• Why did Sherlock say that John is 'pretty damn smart’
• Why did Moriarty say 'why don’t you two just elope for god’s sake?’
• Why did 'actually, would you mind?’ 'Not at all’ happen straight after this
• Why did John kick Moriarty (Sherlock’s weakness) off the top of the waterfall
• Why did Sherlock throw his deerstalker (which represents his heterosexual public image) off the top of the waterfall
• Why did Sherlock look so happy falling this time
• Why did he smile so softly at John when he woke up
• Why did Victorian!Sherlock say 'perhaps such things could come to pass’
• Why did Victorian!Sherlock say that he’s 'a man out of his time’

  • York: Bad news - Wash locked the keys inside the building.
  • York: Good news - we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
  • York: Bad news - North finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girl.
  • York: Good news - a cute girl saw me do it.
  • York: Bad news - it was Carolina, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

James Potter: seventeen, hair got struck by lightning at age four and hasn’t sat down since, knuckles that jut out, holds his wand between his teeth to impress girls- to impress the girl, doesn’t own one pair of matching socks, the kind of attractive that fills the ribs, fills the shoulder blades, fills the heart, Sirius painted his nails once and he kept the polish on all week, sees the girl before registering anyone else in the room, young organs pumping young blood, wired to himself, to his boys, to the girl, can tell what you’re about to say before you say it, he’s just sort of like that, has a habit of leaning arms on peoples shoulders, starts the trust fall before anyone realises they’re  meant to be catching him

Sirius Black: seventeen, eats whipped cream by the fork full, rolls up the sleeves of his robes, begins most conversations with: you absolute fuck, column of his throat running down the neck like water, leaves his text books all over school, made of gut feeling, of instinct, of starting before you know how to finish, a part of him still stuck in that house, with the door slamming, with his mother yelling, with the world ending,  he is the bomb going off in the swimming pool, he has probably made a bomb go off in the swimming pool, smoking just outside the door- look- you can see the smoke, you can see the shaking hands.

Remus Lupin: seventeen,  jumpy, long eyelashes, the sullen quiet of fog in winter, scars up the arms, round the neck, across the chest, eyes that stare as if they are waiting for permission, plays the same records until he’s mouthing the words in his sleep, gives out flowers for gifts, sarcasm that could stop the heart, soft, like the skin above your collar bone, like stained glass windows with light through them, like seeing a star in a textbook, knowing that  something that good is out there even if it is far away, often has wind billowing through his baggy t-shirts, pulls out his bottom lip when thinking, at night wakes up sweating, dreaming of blood in his mouth, the kind you get when you rip an arm off, when you lick the bone clean.

 

Peter Pettigrew: seventeen, socks right to the knee, eating an ice cream, has a sore neck from always looking up, raw fingernails- bitten to the cuticles, full of fear, oozing fear, could fill cathedrals with this fear, burns books for no reason, unmade bed, the flush of a cheek that is bloated, a mound of blood, sits on the floor because there is no room at the table, counts on his fingers, pulled a muscle when walking up the fourth staircase, shuts his eyes, opens them, realises he is still in his own skin, pale, a stick of white, unassuming, like flowers, or the moment the ground gives way, all at once, as if it was going to all along

  • Kaminari: The bad news: Mr. Aizawa locked the keys inside the building.
  • Kaminari: The good news: we didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.
  • Kaminari: The bad news: Mr. Aizawa finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.
  • Kaminari: The good news: a cute girl saw me do it.
  • Kaminari: The bad news: it was Jirou, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.
BTS’ Ideal Types (Based on Their Venus Signs)

Note: This is just my very general interpretation using the stars and is by no means correct! Remember that this is just astrology and nothing is finite. Every individual is different and there’s always exceptions to a rule. With that in mind, enjoy!

Jin - Capricorn Venus

  • the classy successful type
  • he wouldn’t be into a childish silly kinda girl
  • he wants someone he can take over the world and buy bighit with
  • mature 
  • business oriented
  • serious 
  • someone who positively effects his goals
  • either a charming younger girl who would impress his coworkers at a dinner party
  • or an established older woman who’s creating her own empire
  • speaks her mind
  • reliable and responsible
  • a sophisticated lady in streets 
  • but a real freak in the sheets

Originally posted by kookiemonster1997

Yoongi - Aries Venus

  • the energetic sporty type
  • despite his lethargic personality, i think he’d want a girl who can energize and excite him
  • someone confident and sure of herself
  • makes herself heard
  • fights for what she believes in
  • he’d love seeing that spark in her eyes when she gets determined to do something
  • i can see him being really proud of his girl when she stands up for herself
  • “yes you go jagi” “that’s my baby”
  • feisty
  • assertive and dominant (sub!yoongi rise)
  • independent
  • goes after what she wants
  • not too girly, maybe even a bit tomboyish
  • a girl who can get down and dirty and not worry about breaking a nail

Originally posted by jimiyoong

Hoseok - Pisces Venus

  • the sensitive and sweet type
  • i think he’d just love a sweet and innocent girl
  • who’s kind to everyone she encounters
  • and loves nature and animals
  • dreamy and imaginative
  • s o f t 
  • a girl who’s not afraid to bust out some aegyo
  • which makes him just melt
  • would actually like if she’s a bit needy or clingy 
  • someone he can protect and take care of
  • vulnerable and open about her emotions
  • someone he can give a shoulder to cry on and be that sunshine she needs in her life
  • feminine yet fashion forward style

Originally posted by junghoseok

Namjoon - Scorpio Venus

  • looking for his expensive girl
  • the femme fatale type
  • a woman with a magnetic aura
  • that draws him in instantly
  • mysterious
  • dangerous
  • not one to mess with
  • someone who’s not afraid of her sexuality
  • and can send him smoldering stares from across the room
  • wears risque/edgy clothing
  • likes to show some skin
  • but on the inside she’s a big nerd
  • a sexy girl with brains
  • who he can have philosophical 3am conversations with

Originally posted by dearvmon

Jimin - Scorpio Venus

  • a toss up for me
  • he has a scorpio venus, like namjoon 
  • so you’d think that he’s also into the femme fatale
  • but he has said many times that he prefers cute small girls
  • so i think he’d be into a princess in the streets 
  • but queen in the sheets kinda girl
  • if u know what im sayin’
  • someone small who can pack a punch
  • just like him

Originally posted by shimshim7

Taehyung - Aquarius Venus

  • the quirky type
  • what he’d want the most is a girl who’s different
  • not another pretty face with no personality
  • he wants someone who stands out in a crowd
  • an unconventional beauty
  • has odd habits that he’d find adorable
  • very fun and silly
  • her humor would get his cold capricorn to open up 
  • a meme queen
  • always willing to try new things
  • a rebel
  • who doesn’t follow societal norms
  • has a unique fashion sense, similar to his
  • gucci™ couple

Originally posted by takujaepls

Jungkook - Libra Venus

  • the girly girl
  • libras are naturally attracted to aesthetically pleasing things
  • so he’d want a beautiful girl
  • (but really every girl is beautiful in her own way)
  • someone confident and charming
  • and has effortless grace
  • a girl who dresses well
  • very feminine
  • skirts, dresses, black lingerie
  • uses sweet smelling perfumes 
  • (that’d he’d take a whiff of when she’s not looking)
  • ((in a totally non creepy way of course))
  • someone with class and manners
  • artsy !!
  • interested in film, photography, or music
  • refined and polite
  • rude or crass people turn him off

Originally posted by jayfatuasian

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