girl you be trippin

anonymous asked:

hey mom, I'm not in a very good place rn. I'd describe myself as soft butch, and I actually like the way I look rn, no make-up, short hair and all, but everytime I go out I get anxiety because I feel like people are judging me. It stresses me and makes me hate my sexuality sometimes, I know you're busy and your prompts are full but could I please have a small sanvers fic with maybe a teen soft butch in it? I feel like I really need good rep rn... if u dont want just delete this, its okay

She’s in the field and she’s got her game face on – shoulders set, stance relaxed but ready, eyes sharp – and when J Cole’s Hold It Down blasts out of her back pocket, her work partner cocks a grin at you.

“Your kid?”

She grins at the term and answers quickly.

“Adrian, I’m on the job, what up?”

“Can I bring a kid to our dinner tonight? Remember that girl Val I was telling you about? She’s trippin cause she had a rough time in school today – “

“Yeah, course you can, kid.”

“You gotta go.”

Maggie grins at his sensitivity, his perceptiveness. “You could be a detective yourself, Ade. See you both tonight.”

She chews the inside of her cheek – a habit she’s been picking up from her girlfriend – and shoots a quick text off to Alex, telling her to expect one more tonight before pocketing her phone and sighing, squatting to analyze the tire marks leftover by the latest Cadmus lackey getaway car.

She pushes tonight’s dinner – a biweekly thing, dinner with her girlfriend and her college boy (she never tires of reminding him how proud she is that he’s in college) – to the back of her mind until she walks through the door of her apartment several hours later to find in her kitchen Alex, Adrian, and a short kid – must the the Val girl Adrian was talking about – with a dapper, short haircut, make-up free face, collared shirt and khakis, skin darker than hers but lighter than Adrian’s, smile just as bright.

Alex has the look of panicked glee of a pale five year old being caught with her hand in the cookie jar; Adrian’s holding the handle of a smoking frying pan with one hand and pointing at Alex with the other; and the new kid is frozen mid-laugh, eyes wide and nervous at finally meeting the detective she’s heard so much about from Adrian.

Maggie appraises the situation with a single glance and grins.

“Alex tried to cook.”

“I – “

“All good, Danvers, we’ll order in, but I gotta say, I’m still surprised your skills in the lab don’t transfer to the kitchen – “

“Hehe, your skills – “

“That’s enough out of you, young man.”

“Yes, Agent Danvers.”

Maggie laughs and shakes her head at their banter as she drops her gun and jacket on a chair and strides over with her hand out to greet the new kid.

“Maggie Sawyer,” she says, leaving the usual NCPD part out because the girl is looking more nervous by the second.

“Valerie.”

“But you prefer Val?” Maggie asks, and Adrian nods behind Val’s back in case she isn’t brave enough to say yes. She is, and she nods, and Maggie smiles warmly at her.

“Okay, Val, so. What’re you hungry for, aside from whatever my woman charred on the stove?”

“Hey – “

“Is it not true, Danvers?”

Alex scowls playfully and Maggie leans in for a kiss. Adrian squeals and leans into Val. “Told you they were the cutest couple ever. My real life OTP!”

Val smiles, but there’s sadness behind it.

“Bad day, kid?” Alex asks, and gestures her to the couch.

“She likes this girl,” Adrian knocks his shoulder into Val gently, and she shoves him with an embarrassed laugh on her face. Alex ooohs and Maggie squeals, and Val almost cries, because she’s never met grown-ups who were this excited to hear about her crushes on girls before.

“She’s really pretty,” Val confesses in a single breath, collapsing onto the couch with her knees spread wide and heat spreading across her shyly smiling face.

“Okay, tell. Everything. But first, tell me what you want for food.”

“Whatever’s fine. Pizza, maybe.”

Maggie chuckles as she takes out her phone to order. “Always with the pizza in this family.”

Alex kisses her and Adrian squeezes her knee when they catch her family comment, and Val flushes to be so easily included in such a term.

“Nothing, I just… she’s really good at math – “

“A definite turn on – “

“Oh, is that why you like coming to my lowly easy-bake oven lab, Danvers?”

“Ladies! There are children present!”

“I’m not a children, I’m sixteen!”

Children,” Adrian, Alex, and Maggie all chorus, and Val rolls her eyes and continues.

“There’s the math thing, and she’s just really sweet, she always sticks up for the kids who get picked on, and she’s got these gorgeous curls and she’s – “

“Super duper femmey, and totally into soft little butches like yourself,” Adrian says and pokes her in the belly gently. She swats at his hand and shrugs defeatedly.

“I dunno. I mean, I’m not just into femmes… but she is super femmey… but maybe she wants someone harder than me? Or like, femmier than me? Like, less gay, maybe, or more gay, or – ”

“So, basically, you’re creating a girl who’s anything but you in your mind, right?” Maggie grins with a tilted head, and Val sighs.

“I guess.”

Maggie squints at her and exhales sharply and wets her lips and speaks.

“You know before I met Danvers over here, it was… I dated. A lot.”

“Don’t worry Alex. You won,” Adrian whispers, and Alex slaps him five softly without taking her eyes off Maggie.

“I dated, but it was… it was women who didn’t get me, you know? They saw leather jackets and a cop badge and a bike and darker skin than theirs – god, too many white girls, sorry babe, but that’s a story for another day – so they expected me to be a certain type of way, expected me to be… well, more butch, you know? Like, all the time. They were interested in the role I could play – and I can play it, I can be it, and I like it, I love doting on women – “

Val smiles and nods and Alex blushes and Adrian snickers.

“But that’s not all I am, you know?” She shrugs. “Sometimes I like a little lace under the leather. And we’ve got different styles, you and me.” She gestures to Val’s hair cut, her looser clothes, with a grin. “And I love it. Your style. It’s absolutely fantastic. And you look really at home in it. And that’s the thing. You? How you feel, how you are? That’s the only thing that matters. So if she likes you, she’s gotta like your soft butchliness. And who wouldn’t, I mean look at you, you’re perfect.”

Val scoffs and Alex beams at Maggie and Adrian squeezes Val’s knee.

The doorbell rings and Adrian squeals. “Pizza!”

Maggie glances at Alex, and Alex nods with a grin before getting up to get the door.

“Your girl like pizza?” Maggie asks, and Val nods.

“I saved her the last slice last week at the school paper’s party when she was late from class. She was really happy.”

Maggie slaps her own thigh in excitement. “Damn girl, see, you got game! Wanna invite her over? We can watch crappy Netflix movies, and the three of us will check out if she checks you out and it’ll be awesome.”

Val smiles at the thought and pulls her phone out of her back pocket.

“Do you guys do this for all of us? Open up your home like this?”

Alex beams over the small stack of pizza boxes when Maggie looks up at her, and Adrian grins widely, proudly, gratefully, at them both as he cracks open a box and digs in immediately.

“Only to the cool kids,” Maggie teases, and Val nods, and types out a text to her crush, because she’s nervous but she’s perfect just like she is, and what’s there not to like, right, Maggie said so, and also, pizza.

Pizza with new family.

Even if her crush declines to come over, she’s pretty sure it’s going to be a good night.

When I was in the third grade I thought that I was gay
‘Cause I could draw, my uncle was, and I kept my room straight
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She’s like “Ben you’ve loved girls since before pre-k.”
Trippin’
Yeah, I guess she had a point, didn’t she?
Bunch of stereotypes all in my head
I remember doing the math like, “Yeah, I’m good at little league.”
A preconceived idea of what it all meant
For those that liked the same sex
Had the characteristics
The right wing conservatives think it’s a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing God, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don’t know
And God loves all his children is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago
I don’t know
And I can’t change, even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately?
“Man, that’s gay” gets dropped on the daily
We become so numb to what we’re saying
A culture founded from oppression
Yet we don’t have acceptance for 'em
Call each other faggots behind the keys of a message board
A word rooted in hate, yet our genre still ignores it
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It’s the same hate that’s caused wars from religion
Gender to skin color, the complexion of your pigment
The same fight that led people to walk outs and sit ins
It’s human rights for everybody, there is no difference!
Live on and be yourself
When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that’s not important
No freedom 'til we’re equal, damn right I support it
I don’t know
And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
We press play, don’t press pause
Progress, march on
With the veil over our eyes
We turn our back on the cause
'Til the day that my uncles can be united by law
When kids are walking 'round the hallway plagued by pain in their heart
A world so hateful some would rather die than be who they are
And a certificate on paper isn’t gonna solve it all
But it’s a damn good place to start
No law is gonna change us
We have to change us
Whatever God you believe in
We come from the same one
Strip away the fear
Underneath it’s all the same love
About time that we raised up… sex
And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can’t change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love
My love
My love
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
She keeps me warm
Love is patient
Love is kind

( * @fvckdolls ) 

      when the female came storming into the room with an attitude, steel automatically turned the television on mute, knowing that he was about to deal with some shit. the moment she started yelling, he also knew that he had to play this shit right or the argument would implode. ❝ slow down. ❞ he states swinging his legs over the bed so that he could place his elbows on his knees as she talks. ❝ somebody said they saw me with some other girl? you know i’ve been here all day so why you trippin’? ❞