girl holding girl

anonymous asked:

32!!

“why did we have to have kids?”
-

you’ve been tired before, back in high school and collage during exam times, when you couldn’t sleep because of stress, or just when you stayed up all night talking with your husband, but you’ve never been this tired before.

when they said having a baby would be hard, they weren’t wrong. but what made things even harder was the fact that you had two.

two month old twin girls were a handful, especially early in the morning when one would cry and the other would wake up and join in.

you and shawn couldn’t take turns since both girls needed to be tended to. the both of you were getting about 2 hours of sleep each night and it was really starting to affect you.

the two of you stood in your girls’ nursery, each holding one girl trying to soothe them back to sleep. you knew neither of them needed to be fed since you fed them about 3 hours ago.

shawn had managed to get one of the babies to fall back asleep, while you were still struggling. it was always easier for him since he sang them back to sleep, but unfortunately you weren’t talented when it came to singing.

sometimes it made you feel like a horrible mother. what kind of mom couldn’t put their own kid to sleep?

shawn noticed you struggling and took his daughter from your arms and softly sang to her until she fell asleep. you smiled gratefully as the two of you walked back to your room in silence.

the two of you laid in bed, not being able to fall back asleep. you faced away from shawn, not wanting him to see you on the verge of tears.

you couldn’t help it anymore. you never thought having a kid would be this hard. even though shawn was a massive help, you couldn’t stop yourself from feeling tried emotionally and physically.

“y/n,” shawn whispered, lightly turning you around so you could face him.

he immediately noticed the tears that were now streaming down your face.

“honey, what’s wrong?” he said, immediately pulling you into his chest and rubbing your back soothingly.

you knew you had to tell him before things got any worse.

“what did we have to have kids shawn? nobody told us it was going to be this hard.”

you knew it was horrible to be at this point only two months into motherhood, but you couldn’t stop yourself from feeling like this no matter how hard you tried.

“i’m such a horrible mom, i can’t even put my own daughter to sleep!”

“y/n you’re an amazing mother, don’t ever say that. the girls love you so much. i know you’re tired right now, we both are. but i promise, it’s going to get better.”

he continued to trace patterns on your back as you calmed down. about an hour later, you heard the cries of one little girl, followed by the next over the baby monitor next to your bed.

you were starting to get out of the bed, knowing it was time for them to be fed, but you were stopped by shawn.

“stay here, i’ll bring them to you.”

he kissed your forehead before making his way down the hall to the nursery. you could tell he was just as tired as you by the way his feet dragged.

you knew even though it was hard now, you and shawn were going to be okay in the end.

i just want somebody to...

-call me beautiful
-adore me
-never stop talking to me
-hold my hand
-go on dates with (or imagine dates)
-skype if we are long distance
-be my person
-kiss me
-hug me
-give me attention
-let me spoil them and love them
-not let me feel alone

4

- Why am I still alive?
- I don’t know.