ginger bread in a flour

heathen offering: honey cookies

i never thought i’d be sharing a recipe for religious purposes, but these cookies are absolutely stellar and they’ve served me well as an offering to frigg, sif, thor, and various other nordic deities (the recipe itself is an old german one). as we all know, honey’s one of those little sacred ingredients that you find throughout all cultures with various types of religious significance, so feel free to make these for whoever you know likes sweet treats!

and, of course, in purely culinary terms, these cookies have come out chewy and soft for me every time, and the measurements make it easy to increase or decrease servings. they taste incredibly sweet, but as a caveat, the honey taste comes out super strong, so if you have sugar-sensitive teeth, these might not be for you.

yield: 2 dozen cookies. you will need:

  • ½ cup white sugar
  • ½ cup honey
  • ½ cup shortening
  • 1 egg
  • ½ tsp vanilla
  • ½ tsp baking soda
  • 2 cups all-purpose or bread flour
  • ¼ tsp ground ginger
  • ¼ tsp cardamom (or nutmeg, but nothing tastes quite the way cardamom does)

in a saucepan, melt the shortening over low heat, then add in the honey and sugar. keep on the stove until all these ingredients have blended together, and then remove from heat and allow to cool to room temperature: important, since you’ll be adding it to egg!

in a mixing bowl, stir together all remaining ingredients except the flour until well-blended. then add in the honey/shortening/sugar, and mix again. once all those ingredients have come together, add the flour (just a little at a time) until you have a sticky cookie dough, which will look more like a very, very thick batter.

there are a couple of options for getting the dough to the pan: you can go ahead and stick a teaspoon in the bowl and drop it onto a prepared cookie sheet, or you can put the dough in the freezer for a little while until it’s stiffened, then roll it out into a log on a floured cutting board and cut the cookies like that.

bake them (one cookie sheet a time: trying to cook two in the same oven doesn’t let the heat flow the same way) in a 350­°F oven for 12-15 minutes until they’re a pretty light golden color.

bam: you will have some of the most delicious honey cookies in the world. give them to the deity/spirit of your choice, or hog them all to yourself tbh, because they’re tasty as hell.

[THROWS A TREE AT YOUR FACE] OKAY FRIENDS LET ME TELL U ABOUT WINTER!LAWDORF

  • DANNY OPTING TO DISTRACT BETTY FROM THE WHOLE THING WITH THE DEAN BY INVOLVING HER IN AS MANY CHRISTMAS PREP ACTIVITIES AS POSSIBLE
  • DANNY ROPING BETTY INTO HELPING DECORATE THE SUMMER SOC CHRISTMAS TREE

  • DANNY DRAGGING HER OUTSIDE TO HELP HANG THE LIGHTS ON THE HOUSE
  • LAWDORF BEING THE LAST ONES LEFT OUT BECAUSE - AS THEY’RE THE TALLEST OUT OF THE SUMMER SOC SISTERS - THEY’RE OBVIOUSLY “THE BEST SUITED TO THE JOB” AND LBR THE LAST TIME DANNY WAS ON TURKEY DUTY SHE MANAGED TO SINGE OFF HER (AND THREE OTHERS’) EYEBROWS

  • LAWDORF FUMBLING AROUND WITH WIRES AND BULBS AND SHAKING HANDS IN THE DARK ALONE AT DUSK AND IT’S COLD AND IT’S SNOWING AND THE STARS ARE OUT

  • BETTY WEARING ONE OF DANNY’S CHRISTMAS SWEATERS (IT FITS WHICH MAKES A CHANGE - IT’S COMFORTING)

  • BETTY SINGING WILDLY OFFKEY TO THE MUSIC COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE AS SHE’S HALFWAY UP A LADDER - IN PART TO KEEP HERSELF WARM, BUT ALSO BECAUSE DANNY’S EYES ARE CLOSED AND HER HEAD’S THROWN BACK AND IT’S SO COLD SHE CAN SEE THE LAUGHTER BLOOMING BIG AND SILVER FROM THE CORNERS OF HER MOUTH

  • DANNY PULLING BETTY IN TO DANCE

  • BETTY SMELLING LIKE PEPPERMINT AND GINGER BREAD AND SMOKE AND DANNY REACHING UP TO BRUSH A SPOT OF FLOUR OFF HER JAW

[HEAVY BREATHING]

W I N T E R ! L A W D O R F