gina a firenze

MY BAD!  A paraphrase:

Lady: blah blah blah be saved etc etc the Lord blah blah blah

Me: ….

Lady: here take this book and read from it

Me: uh…i don’t….um….uh….read….italian.

Lady: …oh! you don’t read italian?

Me: No….thanks.

Lady: What other language? English? English?

Me: Another one.

Lady: …but…

Me: Thank you. *pretends to look embarrassed about lack of reading skills while continuing down the block holding a book written in a dialect that predicates more than a basic understanding of the italian language*

Dubious Life Achievement #8

This afternoon I was walking home from the bus, holding the novel I am currently reading (which is written in Sicilian dialect) when I came across two old women who were proselytizing for their particular branch of Christianity a block away from the apartment building where I’m staying.  I made eye contact with one of the women, who then launched into a very spirited and well-rehearsed discussion of how I could be saved, encouraging me to read from her outstretched Bible.  The only way I could think to get out of it was to say, “Non posso….uh……” I fished around inventively, as if I were really struggling for a word I had just learned. “….leggere l'italiano.”  

This deviated the woman from her spiel but she quickly picked up: “Non leggi l'italiano?  Quale altra lingua? Inglese? English?”  

I managed to look queasy and say, “…un….un'altra…uh….grazie,” at which point I felt free to leave, clutching my Camilleri novel and smiling apologetically.

And so, Dubious Life Achievement #8 is baldly lying to my elders by denying the entirety of the reason why I’m here in Italy in the first place.  Well done, Gina.