gilderoy the mouse prince

life hack: shrink yourself down to the size of a mouse. leave the world of men behind you forever, and start a new life amongst the mice. and bring technology and art to those uncultured swine. build tiny tools for their mouse hands, made from toothpicks and marshmallows. and be their king, neigh, their prince. gilderoy the mouse prince. ruling from your grand castle, inches high, carved from the finest cheeses. and there you would dwell with your three beautiful mouse wives. and your twelve mouse concubines oHO–oh but the wars you’d have with the frogs…terrible. just terrible. those meadow-mice warriors, the atrocities they’ve seen. yes that is your dream. your secret dream

If I could do anything, I think I would shrink myself to the size of a mouse. I’d leave the world of men behind me forever and live amongst the mice. And I would bring technology and art to those uncultured swine. And I would build tiny tools for their mouse hands made from toothpicks and marshmallows. And I would be their king. Nay! Their prince! Gilderoy The Mouse Prince: ruling from my grand castle, inches high, carved from the finest cheeses. And their I would dwell with my three mouse wives, and my twelve mouse concubines! Ohohohoho oh but the wars we’d have with the frogs. Terrible, just terrible. Those metal mice warriors, the atrocities they’ve seen. Yes, that is my dream.
—  The Mouse Prince

So I’m in the middle of rereading Harry Potter an am currently on the Chamber of Secrets. Today I read the part where Lockhart gives them a quiz on his personal life, and one of the questions was “What is Gilderoy Lockhart’s secret ambition?”
Hermione got it right, of course, with rid the world of evil and start a line of hair care products. But, the whole time I was just shouting at my book “No, Hermione! His secret dream is to shrink himself down to the size of a mouse and become their king, nay! Their prince! Gilderoy the Mouse Prince! And he will rule from his castle, inches high, carved from the finest cheeses with his three mouse wives, and his twelve mouse concubines! But the wars they would have with the frogs, terrible!”
I cannot stop laughing right now.

If I could do anything? I think I would, shrink myself to the size of a mouse. And leave the world of men behind me forever. And live amongst the mice. And I would bring technology in, and art to those uncultured swine. And I would build tiny tools for their tiny mouse hands made from tooth picks and marshmallows. And I would be their king- nay, Their prince! Gilderoy The Mouse Prince! Ruling from my grand castle inches high, carved from the finest cheeses. And their I would dwell with my 3 mouse wives, and my 12 mouse concubines. Oh, ho! ho, ho, ho, ho! Oh, but the wars we’d have with the frogs. Terrible, just terrible. Those meadow mice warriors, the atrocities they’ve seen. Yes, that is my dream.
—  Gilderoy Lockhart A Very Potter Senior Year [x]

anonymous asked:

what is a dream of yours?

If I could do anything? If I could do anything, I think I would shrink myself to the size of a mouse. I’d leave the world of men behind me forever and live amongst the mice. And I would bring technology, and art to those uncultured swine. And I would build tiny tools for their mouse hands, out of toothpicks and marshmallows. And I would be their king, nay their prince! Gilderoy, the mouse prince, ruling from my grand castle, inches high, carved from the finest cheeses. And there, I would dwell with my three mouse wives, and my twelve mouse concubines. Oh but the wars we’d have with the frogs… Terrible, just terrible. Those metal mice warriors the atrocities they’ve seen. Yes, that is my dream. My secret dream. 

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