i got sucked into your blog and now i'm on page three million of your "long live seabiscuit" tag (i wish i could say that i regret this but i really, really don't) BUT my burning question is: is sidney crosby actually attractive or are we all just stockholm syndromed into thinking that his bone structure is literally perfect?
i think the internet’s attraction to sidney crosby is a precarious balance of various factors:
- C O M P E T E N C E
- the Goose Giggle
- that paul brandt song “i was there”
- a deep-rooted suspicion that he is hiding something that we want
- mouth like a fat spring rose
- knowledge that he is a hard worker who will do his best in all things
- all things.
- the sweet, soothing Absolute Nothings he whispers to the press, like wonderful little bedtime stories
- the personified canadian ideal, which is a lot like the american ideal but more polite and more equipped to fight bears
- fierce protective instinct
- that tim horton’s commercial about All Of Canada Standing With Sidney Crosby to The Sweet Melodies of Indie Folk Rock
- that time he full-on Dwayne The Rock Johnson’d a guy
- if you touch sidney crosby’s heart HAVE YOU TOUCHED THE HEART OF HOCKEY? getting as intimate with your hobbies as you possibly can, a novel by the internet