giggling pink valar clouds

Headcanon:  Or The Reason Why Thor Can’t Just Hop Into Middle-Earth

Aule was the Name of His Oldest and Truest Self, the one at the very beginning of Time, who had lent His Voice to the One when the Great Music Sang All of Creation into Being. 

He remembers creating the Khazad - His beloved Children, made in His image, hearty, brave, wrought of stone and earth, loving the very bones and sinews of Arda itself and delighting in bringing forth its secret treasures.  He remembers pleading before the One to spare His Children that he had brought into being in his eagerness and pride and yes, love for the Great Music.  

And while he will not speak of these Mysteries, he remembers the One smiling and brushing a kiss across the brow of the Eldest of His Children.  A blessing. 

A promise. 

Thor is but one of His Many Aspects.  A Part of His Self - brash and arrogant and brave and merry and true - much like His own Children.  He had sworn, along with His kin, that He would not set foot on Arda, lest they bring about the Dagor Dagorath in untimely fashion. 

But there ought to be no harm in watching over his new shield-brothers and sister. 

Thor doesn’t mind being a Giggling Pink Valar Cloud.  His sweet Jane rather likes that color. 

An Unexpected Alternate Universe - Bagginshield Week Day 5

we must away ere break of day

To be perfectly honest, Bilbo Baggins had a Plan.  

It was a very good plan, if he could say so himself.  As the great ship made its way to Valinor and as the years of his life began to fade away from Bilbo, leaving him as the younger, if still-middle-aged Hobbit he had been when Gandalf had dragged him into all these shenanigans, Bilbo was even more convinced of the Rightness of his Plan.  Was he not the greatest Burglar in all of Middle-earth?  Did he not manage to burgle the One Ring, riddle with a Dragon and steal thirteen Dwarves out from under the Elven-king’s nose? 

So Bilbo Baggins thought that he was perfectly justified in running off to the Halls of Aule, with every intention of stealing himself one grumpy, ridiculously beautiful King Under the Mountain. 

Certainly he wasn’t Luthien Tinuviel and the love he and his Dwarf King bore for each under went unrecorded in the tales, for it had been a story that he could not ever bear to share with anyone.  Grand tales of star-crossed love were not for Hobbits.  

But Bilbo didn’t care.  He and Thorin had been denied a life together in Middle-earth.  The part about ruling Erebor wasn’t that important to Bilbo.  Yavanna’s Mercy, he had no hankering to be some sort of Royal Uppityness or Whatever.  But he’d hoped that perhaps one day, he and Thorin would have a chance to grow old together, to live in Bag End, to have a life together filled with love and laughter and nephews’ mischief. 

All those hopes died on the same day Thorin took his last breath. 

So now, so close to Valinor and the Valar, Bilbo had his Plan.  And it would have worked too and even dear, sweet Frodo was willing to help his Uncle Bilbo out, curious as the lad was about the Dwarf he might have called uncle as well, if Fate had been kinder. 

Alas, Bilbo did not count upon the mischief by a Certain Set of Giggling Valar Clouds - Pink, Green, Blue and Purple.  We must note that it was the Pink Valar Cloud who had wanted to allow Bilbo his Burglary but the Green Valar Cloud had a better idea, abetted by the Fuzzy Purple Cloud.  The Blue Valar Cloud consented if the love shared by Certain Red-haired Dwarf and a Wood-Elf Prince would not be affected by this new course of events.  

A pact was made.  Agreements were set. 

And so it was that Bilbo Baggins woke up, in his own bed, in Bag End, exactly three months before Gandalf the Grey would darken his door to invite him to an adventure with thirteen Dwarves.

Keep reading