My “makes me ridiculously happy” find I got at TjMaxx. The lid is heavy cardboard, this box is sturdy! I got Jake’s two Christmas sweaters and all his assorted holiday neck accessories in the box. No more squishing them in an overstuffed drawer! Ok…there is no German Shepherd, but at least the lid has a big mutt on it, lol.
It is a cruel fate that what ended so much gave a new beginning to me. I feel that my life started then and I was already past my twentieth Turn.
I had been working on it before. Fighting in my mind crawling out of the security that was an illusion around me. Fighting to not be hand on foot to Guardian.
He always knew what I was up to, coming over in times I nearly found the way out of the Black Shroud, or conveniently breaking something for Rhalgr. Everything was for Rhalgr. Every murder. Every building and bridge and military aspect gone wrong was for Rhalgr. But I do not think he ever truly expected me to find the will to leave. Maybe he was right then.
He had taken the cataclysm as a sign. A gift for all his hard work? Or perhaps a warning for becoming too complacent. I realize now how far off I was when he dropped my battered form on the road. I would not have found it. I still cannot find my way back to where I grew to be me.
But the tragedy gave me purpose again and at the time I did not know how to cope without it. I still do not, but it is not as crippling. There were people to heal. Dead to bury. Openings in jobs. An opening in the Fane. Would they have taken me in otherwise? Perhaps, but not without work. And being barely able to handle being around people let alone speak let alone missing Guardian…
to our park chamsae, our seoul person, our sebaohla: happy birthday! we are so proud of everything you’ve done. thank you for chasing your dreams. thank you for always working so hard. thank you for always making us happy. always stay happy and healthy, okay? we love you more than words could ever describe. happy birthday, park woojin!