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How to be a reality star

So I’m sure, like me, you’ve all had that moment while watching Real Housewives or Jersey Shore where you were like, “These people get paid for this? I could SO be a reality star.” And the truth is YES, yes you can – and you don’t have to be on camera to do it!  So I’m here to tell you just how to turn your normal life into a daily reality show and how to get your own star on the (imaginary) Hollywood walk of reality fame shame. Here are a few ways to make boring everyday life into reality TV gold.

1.) Surprise your friend by gathering her enemies in one room

2.) Get really bombed and talk to yourself in the mirror, aka ‘the confessional’

3.) Take all calls on speakerphone so your friends can hear everything… and judge

4.) Always dress to impress (huge yellow flower optional)

5.) Start using a catch phrase

6.) Be shocked by everything you hear

7.) Have a really great fake smile

8.) And last, but not least… you can always abuse plastic surgery

So next time your friend tells you a secret, run out and tell everyone because that’s just good TV – even if there aren’t any cameras. (Cue dramatic exit)

Has anyone thought that maybe Melissa is the psychopath on RHONJ and not Teresa? I mean really. Melissa seems to have a shady past, she’s got all these people who are out to get her which means she must do something behind the scenes we aren’t aware of, and Teresa insists that she’s done nothing wrong. That’s obviously not true, but there’s clearly stuff about Melissa that isn’t what it seems to be. Even Dina, the most sensible and mature housewife on the show remains close with Teresa, and i don’t think Dina would associate with a sociopath. It’s time for people to get over this hatred of Teresa. Or at least serve the same amount of hate towards Melissa.

watching real housewives of new jersey pisses me off because everyone just gangs up on Teresa. 

IT’S NOT HER FAULT PEOPLE LIKE TO BITCH ABOUT MELISSA OK. PEOPLE JUST LIKE TO TALK SMACK ABOUT HER TO TERESA. TERESA JUST SITS THERE HALF THE TIME LOOKING UNCOMFORTABLE. SHE ISN’T SPREADING RUMOURS. MELISSA’S BEST FRIEND IS. 

STUPID FUCKING PEOPLE I WANT TO HIT THEM ALL WITH A HAMMER.