• Castiel: Don't raise your voice to me again Dean
  • Dean: If you ever listened I wouldn't have to
  • Castiel: If you ever said anything worth hearing, aside from complaining maybe I would listen
  • Dean: Don't you start this. Sam is right there, he can hear us!
  • Sam: Also Jack, who is technically a minor and an innocent
  • Jack: I just killed a moth with my mind :) :)
  • Dean: And Jack!
  • Castiel: Me start it?! You said I was useless at everything! You made fun of me, you yelled at me
  • Dean: All I'm hearing is that you don't have a sense of humour
  • Castiel: And you don't have a sense of decency
  • Dean: You don't have a sense of style!
  • Castiel: Over the line!
  • Sam: I am THIS close to locking you two in the cage. As in the cage in hell. Til you work this out
  • Jack: Haaa, I can literally arrange that! I HAVE THE POWER!.....what's a cage though?
  • Dean: Oh great, the kid's a genius
  • Castiel: Leave the abomination alone!
  • Sam: I thought I was the abomination?
Leave ‘Em

Summary: Dean and reader come home from a date but he asks her to leave something on…

Square Filled:  Shoe Kink

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 700ish

Rating: explicit (smut (oral sex), language)

A/N: Written/created for @spnkinkbingo

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Because I recently read this great post by @starsinursa and also because I made myself (and @tinkdw who might or might not be interested in this post?) cry with this musing I wanted to think more about how exactly Castiel perceives himself regarding the Winchesters and how much he thinks he actually means to them.

Because I feel that he doesn’t get it at all and I think that this might be due to the different concepts of expressing one’s love Dean and Castiel have (I’m also pretty sure there have already been metas written about it but I can’t find them right now! Urgh). Dean isn’t able (most of the time) to actually voice the feelings he has without masking them behind anger, worry, etc. and instead opts for spending quality time, but Cas doesn’t see it as the love declaration it tries to be. Now I want to put a disclaimer here and say that I don’t think that Dean (and Sam) don’t love Cas, not by a long shot, I just want to explain what I thinkCastiel may think.

But let’s start at the end of Season 11. Dean is going to die; he accepted this. And what does Cas say? “I could go with you” (I’m not crying, you’re crying). For him, this is the ultimate proof of his love: to follow Dean wherever he will go, even in death. But Dean can’t accept this – and basically rejects Castiel, instead giving him the order to look after his little brother.

And Cas, even though he’s rebelled against heaven, accepts that order without any question whatsoever. Because he is very focused on things he hears – and in heaven, orders were basically all they had. Quality time? Giving gifts? What is this? Cas doesn’t know this and doesn’t get it.

So now Cas has gotten his order and he fails to obey it. He gets banished, Sam gets kidnapped, and when Cas, Dean and Mary are working together to bring Sam back he’s very eager but it’s all very dog-like. Dean says (in regard to Dr. Marion) “Don’t hurt him. Not yet.”, Mary instead gives him the order to “Hurt him.”. And Cas obeys. No questions asked. He is very violent, which I feel is very un-cas-like behaviour. But he still does it because he wants to fix his mistakes.

When they finally find Sam and bring him back, Cas has his conversation with Mary about how he is still not sure he belongs there. Because yeah, they’ve told him he’s family, he’s their brother, but all Cas gets from this are orders. And of course, why wouldn’t he believe that this is what family is like because this is what he has experienced in heaven for millennia (I also think this is a reason why Cas is so willing to accept Mary into his family because she fits right in AND why I think that Cas being brothers-in-arms-like with the Winchesters doesn’t cut it because it doesn’t help him or offer him a new perspective).

After that, Cas leaves because he still hasn’t fix all of his mistakes. He wants to find Lucifer, and in extension later in the season Kelly and Jack, to finally fix his mistakes and “come back with a win” because he still feels that everything he does fails.

And how does Dean take that? Not well. Because, for him, spending quality time (giving him coffee, inviting him to breakfast knowing full well he doesn’t eat) is the ultimate love declaration and Cas in turns rejects that in order to leave. Urgh. But instead of telling him that and asking him to stay because he needs him and loves him and please just stay I have some free space on the bed (I’m sorry I got carried away) he is angry and instead talks about the topics he deems safe, not noticing how much further he rejects Cas along the way.

Just look at some conversations they had/things Dean said, for example in 12x10: “Gotta make sure you don’t do anything else stupid.” - which of course is not the reason why he wants to go on that mission but this is what Cas hears. He already knows he’s failed at everything, the thing he thought was right (killing Billie for them) get’s rejected too, and now the only reason they even are helping him is in order to see to it that he doesn’t fuck everything up again. How is that love, for him?

And then the infamous scene where Dean has to make the decision to banish Ishim and possibly kill Cas or put himself into danger. Of course he picks Cas because he loves him but what does Cas see, especially with the snippet of the conversation above in mind? Great, now I’m endangering Dean because I can’t do anything right.

(I get so angry and frustrated writing this post *makes frustrated noices*)

When they’re back in the bunker and everything’s as fine as can get, Dean gives him a beer (again, knowing full well he doesn’t actually need it) as a declaration of truth and he also goes as far as explaining that he’s not mad, he’s worried. Which is great, but what does he say when Cas says “I don’t regret what I did, even if it costs me my life”? The next thing Dean says is: “So what are you gonna do if you find Kelly and, uh, Lucifer Junior?” I mean, wow. Dean can’t deal with the fact that Cas may be willing to die so he wants to talk about safer things. And what does Cas probably get from this? I don’t care if you die, just tell me what you want to do about Kelly.

And Cas, subsequently, does everything he can about Kelly. Because he thinks this is what he’s supposed to do, it’s a safe topic for Dean, so he’s talked about it a lot, and Sam – well Sam likes Sam and cares for him a lot, but Sam is not the one who needs to have the rousing speech how he wants Cas to stay in the bunker.

I don’t want to talk about 12x12 because this has been meta’ed to death, but I want to talk about 12x19 in greater details (some stuff was already in the post I linked at the beginning). Cas comes back, and the first thing Dean does is scolding him for ignoring his phone calls and telling him he’s not glad he’s back. And why isn’t he glad he’s back? Because when they actually had an opportunity to kill Dagon, he wasn’t there. So what’s the use for him to now be back? Is what Cas gets from this. He failed again, wasn’t available to help the Winchesters when they wanted him to be (because this is all he’s good to do, he feels) and now he’s back without anything to offer, so…

Of course, this episode is also where Dean finally says something that resembles an actual, honest to god “I need/love you” declaration: “We will find a better way. (…) We. You, me, and Sam, we’re just better together.” And how sad is it that Cas still feels the need to leave because he feels like they won’t have a better shot at dealing with the baby than teaming up with heaven and killing the baby? He wants to spare Dean and Sam this, so he has to leave again.

And Dean, again, sees this as the rejection it isn’t because they just can’t seem to get their act together, tell each other that they love and care for each other and want the other one to stay and deal with everything together. Cas because he feels that this is not what Dean wants and because he wants to be of as much use for the Winchesters as he can (which often means leaving them and dealing with problems alone) and Dean because he feels that he’s not worthy of it and that Cas wouldn’t want to stay anyway.

*makes more frustrated noises* Ok I think I’m done.


We’re SO EXCITED to announce that this week’s episode, which will be available on Monday, we will be featuring TWO guest hosts!

Give a big, warm welcome to @mittensmorgul and @elizabethrobertajones!!!!!

They will be joining us in our discussion of Dean and Cas and their sexualities!

Originally posted by astudyinwinchester

Make sure to tune in, and send in any questions you may have by tomorrow (June 23rd) at 6:30PM EST!

Catch up on past episodes:
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Close Your Eyes

Here is Part Eight in “This Love”

Pairing: Jensen x Reader
Words:  1082

A/N: If you want tagged, send me an ask.

          You got out of bed in a blur. You couldn’t believe this day was here. How had this even happened?

           “Y/N?” Jensen looked at you as you walked toward the bathroom.

           You turned and looked at him, feeling the tears in your eyes, “How is it even possible?” you asked.

           Jensen chuckled, “They told us not to blink,” he said.

           “She’s a year old,” you said, trying not to fully cry, but you couldn’t believe your baby girl was already a year old.

           Jensen chuckled again as you disappeared into the bathroom, “I can’t believe it either,” he said.

           You finished in the bathroom and walked back into the room where Jensen was sitting on the bed looking at something.

           You walked over and sat next to him. His smile had faded and he wasn’t chuckling anymore. You saw the emotion on his face as he looked at the first picture taken of your daughter when she was first born.

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  • Jody: We did it. I managed to get the connection to the rogue faction within the British Men of Letters. We can take them down from the inside now
  • Jody: Sam, they consider you our General. What do you want me to tell them?
  • Sam: That I'm hot!
  • Jody: What?
  • Sam: That I'm hot, attractive, easy on the eyes
  • Jody: We're establishing a hunting community that crosses the oceans and you want to-
  • Sam: Make sure everyone knows I'm pretty, god damn it! It's important to me
  • Sam: Also, that Dean and Cas are gay for each other
  • *Scratchy voice over radio*: Well, we knew THAT
The Charade

(gif credit to the creator)

Part Eleven

Master List

Pairing: Misha x OFC / Jensen x OFC
Word Count: 1,686
Warnings: none
A/N: Here’s part eleven of mine and Nicole’s (@iwantthedean) collab! Hope you guys like it! Anyway, feedback for this is awesome! :)

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