I think that one of Arya and Sansa’s most interesting contrasts is how Arya is so confident in herself and how Sansa BUILT herself to live up to what society expects from her.
Arya built her identity the way that she wanted to be, because it was the way that she wanted to be. she liked playing rough, she made friends with everyone, low or highborn, because she’s a total extrovert, and in the beginning she had a really clear sense of self for someone so young. (It makes me angry that he’s stealing that from her, but that’s a convo for another day)
And in contrast, so much of who Sansa is is defined by society’s expectation of her. She wants to fit into what her society and people want from her. Sansa trusts the system and its prejudices, until it turns on her. And that’s part of why I find her character arc so damn heartbreaking. She puts such a high amount of trust into the institutions and constructions of the world because they’re supposed to be like her songs, but then they all turn on her. So much of who Sansa IS and what Sansa just LIKES isn’t clear either. Does Sansa like pretty dresses because she likes pretty dresses or because they will make her fit into what society’s view of who she should be is?? She wants a handsome prince or gallant knight because that’s what society expects her to want (which is one of the reasons I like lesbian Sansa so much)