More Than Enough- J Swazz
✻Credit to “Gif” owner✻
➢I walked up the stairs to John and I’s apartment, only to hear, half way there, the sound of music coming from our place. I dug through my purse, in search of my key, and continued to hear, what I could now make out to be, a guitar playing-a live guitar playing, as in not on the radio.
I was extremely confused. Either there was a crazy person that snuck into me and John’s apartment, or John has been musically gifted all this time, and I just had no idea about it. Of course, the second option is more likely, considering our place is in the better quality part of LA.
“John! I’m home!” I shouted, entering. The guitar immediately stopped, and footsteps neared me. “Babe! I thought you were coming home late tonight! What happened?” He looked as if I was his mom, and I just caught him rubbing one out. “Well, they said with everyone working today, there wouldn’t be a need for overtime, so here I am.” I said, while removing my coat, and heels. He just nodded, and headed to the kitchen. I followed, “So…what was that music I heard?” I leaned against the counter, with my arms crossed, and a smirk plastered on my face. “Oh, that? That was just the radio.” He kept his back to me while he made me my daily “welcome-home” snack: popcorn. I moved closer to his back, and wrapped my hands around his waist. “I don’t know…That seemed to me like someone was playing the guitar.” I egged on. “Well, it wasn’t so let’s drop it.” He said frustratedly, however, I raised my hands in surrender, and backed away, “I’m gonna find you out some day Johnny Boy, and don’t you forget it.” He smiled at me and went back to making my snack.
I after changing into “non-work” clothes, I came back to the living room, to find him sitting on the couch already eating my popcorn. “Hey, you turd!” I shouted, running to stop him from continuing to eat. He laughed, and moved the bowl from my reach . “Hey! Hey! The chef should always taste their food before serving.” He playfully stated. I rolled my eyes and took the bowl back and began to eat. “Chef who? The microwave?” He jokingly shoved my shoulder, and just watched me laugh.
I turned to him, “So, about that music. Why didn’t you tell me you could play the guitar, or any musical instrument?” He though for about a minute, “Well, I don’t know, its seen as super feminine for a guy to play the guitar, ya know?” I looked extremely confused, and a bit offended: just because the sound a guitar makes/can make, is softer than the sound of a drum, all of a sudden makes it girly? What kind of logic is that? “Well, Johnny Boy, it’s not feminine, at all. It has no gender tie to it. For example, Shawn plays the guitar in most of his songs!” He looks at me with a raised eyebrow, “Okay, but remember when Shawn went through a period were people, even his fans, thought he was gay because his music was more emotional? I don’t want that to happen to me.” He looked down, avoiding my confusing eyes. “John,” I scooted closer, and putting the popcorn bowl down, “You have a true talent here. Playing the guitar takes years of practice! And even longer for people to play as good as you do. Do you write lyrics to the music?” He nodded, “Yeah, but, again, its emotional.” “Show me.”
He came back to the living room, guitar in one hand, and a notepad in the other. He got himself situated, and began to strum the chords. He added some verses to the music, and it sounded amazing. He finished, and I clapped. “That was great! Boo, your voice is amazing!” He blushed a dark red, and thanked me. “Now why do you believe what you just did, makes you feminine?” he looked at me, “It just feels like I am sharing my feelings, and you know, guys don’t do that.” He shrugged. I sighed, “John, if you didn’t share your feelings with me, this relationship would get nowhere, and we would have ended months ago, but you do share your feelings, and I love you for it!” He blushed again, this time adding a smile. He didn’t respond, while I became deep in thought. "I just don’t think I’m good enough to play like this. I don’t think people will take me seriously.“ He shared. "I grabbed his hand in mine, "You are more than good enough for anybody! You are more than good enough for anything you do because you are an amazing human being, with amazing talents.” He just looks down, not really believing what I said.
I hated seeing him like this so I tried to get him thinking. “Well, you like to rap right?” “I mean, yeah.” “Well, add a rap in that song, it would fit! Just write about something you are passionate about, besides me.” I winked at him, and he shook his head laughing. “Well you know, I’m greatly against prescription drugs.” He said thinking. “There! That’s perfect! Its not something super controversial, like abortion, but it’ll make a statement.”
We stayed up all, night throwing ideas back and forth, until the song was finally put together. This issue is something we both feel strongly about, and this is John’s way to voice his opinion, where mine has more to do with protesting.
Later this week, I convinced John to get the guys opinions on the music. He was hesitant at first, but he finally decided that they should hear it. After he played the song for Nate, the Jacks, Mike, Sammy, Dillon, and others, they all really enjoyed it. He seemed so relieved. I was so happy for him to finally do something that he wanted and not be afraid of what others thought of him, and his music.
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