it really bothers me when people reduce what happened here to Mikasa thinking that she should at least confess her feelings to Eren
because they were gonna die even if that was also something that was conveyed along with what she said, that was NOT what prompted her words!
just hate how much this implies that Mikasa didn’t care about anything
that was going on and just decided to take a selfish moment to herself
not caring about Eren’s state and feelings, when it’s the absolute opposite!
what prompted Mikasa’s words was exactly seeing Eren in that desperate state!
she thought they were gonna die and she didn’t want him to go like
that, depressed and self-loathing and feeling useless, she didn’t want
their last moment to be that way!
and her point and feelings reached him, because Eren stopped wallowing in his self-hatred and decided to stand up
protecting the people he loves! and that’s the whole beauty of the moment!
words made Eren realize his worth and that he was never useless, Eren’s words made Mikasa
realize he would always be there for her, if Eren wasn’t able to control the titans then and that was indeed their last
moment, they still wouldn’t have regretted going like that!
I’ve just reached a follower goal on this blog and I’ve decided to do a follow forever! I’m doing this follow forever as a small appreciation to all of you who bless my dash with your wonderful posts, you are all such lovely people and I cannot thank you enough for existing.
+ mutuals + favorites
(blogs i admire or friendly people i love)
“Don’t look at me like that.” You laugh quietly.
“Like what?” Rocket smirks as he finishes cleaning his gun.
The pair of you had time to kill why the rest of the crew gathered supplies so you both thought some target practice wouldn’t hurt. You both stood in the clearing of the forest surrounding the Milano, using the bizarre looking trees in it as targets.
“Like you’re suprised I’m a good shot.” You lower your weapon and turn to fully face Rocket. He held your gaze while his smirk grew. He throws his gun over his shoulder and saunters over to the tree you had hit.
He traces his small finger over the bullet hole.
“Not too bad for a Humie, I suppose.” He tried to hold his laughter back. He looks over his shoulder to see your reaction to his words. The glare you were giving him broke his composure. “Relax, relax” He laughed, eyes gleaming. He puts his hand up in mock surrender. “I’m just kidding, I know you know your way around a gun. I’d say better than me but I’m no liar.”
You laugh and throw a fresh round of ammo to him. He catches it without a problem.
“Okay then tough guy, show me how it’s done.” You step back and watch the familiar glint in Rocket’s eyes. You loved seeing how happy he could be when people weren’t calling him names or shouting at him. He clears his throat and turns towards the trees.
“Watch and learn, Princess.” He fires his gun in an overly dramatic way; he always did like to show off in front of you. He keeps going until his gun is out of ammo.
He turns to you and takes a bow, smugness radiating off his every move.
He walks towards you and you ruffle the fur on top of his hair. You both laugh and sit on the grass leaning against the Milano.
The shade was a relief. After spending almost three hours in the blazing light of the planet’s two suns the two of you were ready for a break.
“They’ve been gone for ages.” You comment looking in the direction they had walked.
“Don’t complain,” Rocket laughs “It’s rare we get any alone time.” He places his gun on the floor and hops onto your lap.
He wasn’t wrong. Out of fear of judgement the two of you had decided it would be better to keep your relationship a secret. This, however, meant that you only got small moments alone. Rocket treasured these moments more than his gun and gadget collection combined. You really did mean the galaxy to him.
You run your fingers through the fur on his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into your touch. A small sign escapes him and you feel yourself grinning.
“Is it bad I hope they never come back?” He whispers cracking open his right eye to look at you. You can tell he’s joking but a small part of you is hoping the same thing.
You loved your family but you also loved Rocket and having people around constantly made things harder.
You sigh and place a light kiss to his forehead.
“Hey, I haven’t waited a full week for one kiss on forehead.” Rocket laughs. You smile down at him and raise an eyebrow. He smirks and shakes his head. He stretches up and places a kiss to your lips. He feels you smile into the kiss as he places one of his hands on your cheek and the other on your shoulder.
The loud laughter of Drax in the distance makes the two of you jump. Rocket pulls away quickly and jumps to where his gun is.
“Hey guys!” You wave as they come into view.
“Hello Human female.” Drax smiles carrying a large crate of alcohol. “I found this for the rodent.”
Rocket let the name slip over his head as he looked at the alcohol in awe; eyes wide like a child in a sweet shop. ‘This can only end badly’ you laugh to yourself. Drax hands the crate to you.
“I’ll take this to your room.” You smile to Rocket. He nods and follows behind you.
Once you reach Rocket’s room he closes the door behind him. He waits until you place the crate down before making his move.
He pushes you to the bed, a smile on his face. He climbs on top of you and leans in for a second kiss.
“ROCKET?!” Quill bangs on the door making Rocket freeze millimetres away from your lips. “THE SHIP’S BOILER NEEDS FIXING!”
Rocket growls and hops off of you. He walks to the door and bangs on it. “ALRIGHT QUILL GIVE ME A DAMN MINUTE! I ONLY JUST SAT MY ASS DOWN!” Rocket shouts.
He turns to look at you and sighs.
“I’ll try and stop by later when everyone’s asleep.” You smile and lean down to kiss him. He grabs a hold of your shirt and pulls you closer to him.
“You better princess, this alcohol isn’t gonna drink itself.” He whispers as he pulls away and rests his forehead against your’s.
“ROCKET?!” Quill starts again. “I WANT A SHOWER! HURRY UP OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL SHAVE YOU!”
“QUILL! I SWEAR I’LL KICK YOU’RE ASS IF YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT! YOU’LL GET YOUR DAMN SHOWER WHEN I’M READY TO FIX YOUR CRAPPY BOILER!” You could tell Rocket was getting angry.
“I’ll let you fix the boiler and I’ll be by later.” You kiss him one more time before standing up to leave.
“Promise?” He whispers, looking up at you.
“I promise Rocket.”
“I’ll see you tonight then sweetheart.”
You open the door and step out, remembering to close it behind you.
As you walk towards your own room you hear the distant arguing from Rocket and Quill. You pause long enough to hear Rocket mocking Peter.
“ROCKET DO THIS! ROCKET DO THAT!” He says in a high pitched voice.
“I DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT!” Quill argues back.
“THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK ASS LORD!”
You laugh and shake your head. Family. can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
Happy Holidays! Thank you so much for a great 2017. I just started this blog in 2017, and it was one of the greatest decisions I could have made. I met so many wonderful people, and I love every single one of you. I wish you all the best in 2018. Take care of yourselves and work hard towards your dreams and anything is possible!
(oh gawd i’m so bad at writing :c) 2k17 was really…. no. REALLY wild for me. New life in a new city, new blog, new job, new pc, new friends, new problems… So much has happened. Anyway, the year is almost over, and I’d like to spread some love and appreciation to these wonderful people who’ve made my life on this hella broken site brighter. I wish you all the best in 2k18. And remember: you’re awesome Happy New Year <3
To the public eye, Harry is the most happy-go-lucky lad anyone’s ever seen. He takes it upon himself to be the most polite, his smile lively every time he greets someone, language so proper and sweet it makes loads of people swoon. And don’t get him wrong, he absolutely loves being that way, kind and giving, knows his mum would be disappointed if he were anything else, and Harry loves making his mum proud. Whether it be the fact that he’s gotten to be a big star, which he really doesn’t mean to be cocky or what not when he thinks about it, or that when it comes to interacting with people, he’s the most tentative he can be. He knows his mum would be proud.
So yeah, a lot of people see a side of Harry that’s extremely admirable. High up in the music industry, yet he’s one of the most humble people anyone could ever meet. Even for his age, outsiders note he’s extremely mature, grateful too.
And Harry likes to keep his life private, only to share with close family and friends. So while a lot of outsiders get to see an all-around cheerful Harry, those close to him know he has his moments.
He has ups, like when he’s on stage with-out a care in the world. When he’s doing what he loves and showing all the love he has to the people who made everything possible. When he’s roaming never before seen cities and having a grand time out with the lads, joking about and just having fun.
And just like he has ups, Harry also has downs. And it used to be when he would read something about himself that might not be all true. In fact, a lot of the times all these tabloids and magazines have everything all wrong. But most recently, his downs are a cause from being homesick. Missing his mum and Gem. Missing his hometown and the little places he used to visit on the regular that have more or so become a memory. But more than not, he can admit his heart aches from being so far from her. Harry has begun to spend endless nights awake and wondering what Y/N’s doing. If she’s doing alright, how her day has been going and if she’s stressed. He’ll be lying in bed staring up at the ceiling of whatever hotel he’s in for the night, or sometimes the tour bus, his bare chest quivering from how much he misses her. And he doesn’t mean to cry, but he can’t help it. He feels like ripping the cover off himself, packing a few things and just taking the next flight out to go back to her, because he just misses her too much.
But he settles on resting his hand on top of his belly, trying to find comfort in knowing he’s doing this for her now, too. Wants to makes Y/N proud. Needs to.
And it’s not like Y/N’s not already oh so incredible proud. Knows how big of a dream this has always been, and to see him fulfill it and be so happy enjoying it all makes her happy, even if it means long periods of time apart. Sometimes she lays awake in bed too, thinking if Harry’s been getting enough sleep, what with his shows usually running long. Hopes he’s taking care of himself, eating right and drinking enough water.
But the hole in their chests grows bigger with each day. A phone call doesn’t give the same feeling as being able to have a proper conversation face to face, where they can see each other smile at the jokes they exchange. Where if Y/N’s having a particular rough day, Harry’s able to reach out and comfort her. Sit her on his lap and rub circles on her lower back, pressing light kisses to her temple with soft whispers of “s’all gonna be okay, kitten. M’here, and s’all gonna be fine. Promise.” Or if Harry’s feeling a bit under the weather she’ll tuck him into bed and take care of him until he’s better. And she’ll lay with him and let him be the little spoon. She’ll cuddle him and let him play with their intertwined fingers as her other hand runs through the strands of his hair and massages his scalp to soothe a headache.
A phone call is definitely not enough.
But they both fall asleep none the less.
And the next day it’s the same feeling. Sometimes Harry doesn’t even want to get up from bed. But when his phone rings with a notification reading ‘Morning, love bug! Missing you loads! Have a wonderful day! Ring you later?’ Harry’s heart aches, a good kind of ache. Because he knows Y/N was thinking of him when she woke up. And she’s given him the energy to get up for the day, but not before replying with ‘Morning, poppet! Missing you tons like you can’t imagine. We’ll video chat, miss seeing your beautiful face! xx’
They’ll go about their day, that is until they get a breather and reality hits them again. Harry will be sat in his dressing room, outstretched on a reclining chair, arm resting on the arm of the chair but bent so his thumb and knuckles are at his temples. He’ll have his phone in his other hand, mostly just staring at nothing in particular when it buzzes. He’ll open up the message to a picture of her, a smile he misses so dearly and the ache in his heart that had subsided, but was completely far from gone, begins to creep back up in him. And before he knows it, he realizes he’s been staring at the picture for far too long, his eyes glazed and he’s trying so hard not let the tears fall, not here, not now.
He’s biting the inside of his cheek, blinking away the tears and still staring at the picture. He runs his thumb over the keys a couple of times, only to delete what he’s typed over and over again. Doesn’t know if he should tell her he’s been missing her so much it hurts, wants her to drop everything and fly out to him. He wants to tell her just that, but he doesn’t want to be selfish. A couple of more minutes go by and he still hasn’t replied. Normally Y/N wouldn’t linger on it too long. Would wait for a reply because she knows how busy Harry can get. But she also knows Harry perfectly, and as silly as it sounds, sometimes she can feel when he’s not okay. So the feeling in her gut has her feeling uneasy. It’s the same with Harry though. Weirdly enough, but at the same time not so much, he’s also able to tell when she’s having a rough day, even if they’re miles apart. So it’s very common for them to text each other out of the blue with concern in regards to how they’re feeling. They could be talking about a cute old lady Y/N saw at the grocery store when out of nowhere Harry’s will ask if she’s feeling okay. And sometimes it takes some prying, but Y/N tells him everything eventually.
So Harry knows she knows when he notices the blue bubble on his phone that indicates the other person is writing. ‘Everything alright, Haz?’ But he still doesn’t know whether to tell her. Not because he doesn’t want to be a burden. They’re far into their relationship for either to think that way. But because he doesn’t want to make her feel bad, not more than what she’s feeling because that feeling he gets when she’s not okay is starting to creep up on him. And he knows maybe it’s because she’s beginning to worry that he hasn’t replied. Would be useless to lie and say everything’s fine when he knows she wouldn’t believe him. So of course she’s staring to worry. It doesn’t take long for her to send her message though.
“I’ll be there in a few hours, love bug. I love you!”
And Harry lets out a sigh of relief. Knows the moment he sees her, he’ll feel so much better.
Kai Parker x Reader word count : 2 152 summary : Reader and Kai live together ; Reader has feelings for him and one day Kai brings home a girl. *not my gif _______________________
Almost three months had passed since Y/N moved to live with Kai. His place was near her college and since she had been a late admission , the dorm had been filled. Kai had offered that Y/N move in with him she had agreed. All her friends had been against it specially Damon, but Y/N ignored them. Truth was she liked Kai and has never been afraid he’d hurt her. He always acted different towards her , nicer though he still got on her nerves some times.
“Morning roomie.” said Kai grinning when Y/N walked into the kitchen in morning still wearing her PJ’s. “Sleep well ? It sounded like you kept tossing and turning all night.”
Kai was leaning against the kitchen counter holding a steaming cup with coffee in his hands. Of course she had been tossing and turning. Thoughts about him kept her awake. Y/N wanted to tell him how she felt , but what would be the point ? It’s not like he felt the same way about her. She sighed taking a step towards the coffee machine to pour herself some coffee when Kai touched her hand getting her attention.
“This one’s for you. Just how you like it - no sugar , no milk.” he said smiling. “I even added nutmeg for you.”
“T-thank you.” said Y/N looking at Kai with curious eyes. “Why are you being so nice ?”
Kai put his hands in his pockets leaning against the kitchen counter again. He was looking at her differently or maybe she was imagining it. Her ‘rommie’ was never this nice to her. Sure he’d make her morning coffee and breakfast but usually by the second minute she had entered the room , he’d be making comments about how annoying it is when she tosses and turns all night , making noises and keeping him awake. Or how she had woken him up coming late from a party at her friend’s dorm room. Kai was getting on her nerves most of the time and a few times she even considered moving out. Except she couldn’t , even if she wanted to. Y/N was in love with him. She hadn’t intended for her crush to turn into this but there was just something about him when he raised his voice during their bickering , looking at her with fire in his eyes that was drawing her towards him. Every little thing he did somehow was able to make her love him and hate him at the same time.
“What are you talking about ? I’m always nice to you.” he smiled at her. “Making your breakfast , looking after you… ”
“Right. Okay.” she said glancing at the clock on the wall. “Damn it , I’m gonna be late! Why didn’t you wake me ?”
“Because I like the sparkle in your eyes when you have slept 8hrs not 5. And you are not going to be late , I’ll drive you.” offered Kai. “Get dressed , I’ll pack your textbooks for today.”
Y/N looked at him suspiciously. Something was definitely up with him… What had been that comment about her eyes ? And how did he know what textbooks she’d need for the day ? By the time she had changed , Kai was already waiting for her with a packed lunch , all textbooks for the day and a cup with coffee to go.
“What are you up to ?” she asked suspiciously when he even offered to carry her things to the car for her.
“Nothing. Why do I have to be up to something?” he smiled putting the keys in the ignition. “Can’t I just be nice to my gorgeous roommate ?”
Y/N glanced at him trying to figure out what had happened to get him to act like this. Before she had time to even being processing what was happening , he parked the car on the college parking lot and went to open her door for her.
“Classes end at 6PM right ? I’ll come pick you up.”
“Um … okay ?”
Kai winked at her and got in his car , driving away while she stood frozen in the parking lot starring after him. Y/N checked her lunch bag and couldn’t help but smile finding a veggie wrap inside.
* * *
Y/N was in the kitchen that evening when she heard the front door unlock. Kai had come home and she was excited to see him again and figure out why he had been this nice to her the past month. She was starting to fall for him even more and a part of her missed their bickering over everything.
“Hey you’re ba-”
Y/N froze on the spot. Her heart broke to pieces when she saw Kai and his arm around some girl’s waist , his other hand caressing her cheek as he was leaning in towards her. It looked like he was about to kiss her.
“OH. I um …”
“Oh hey. Sorry , I should’ve called.” he said casually. “This is Mindy. We met at the coffee place down the street…”
Y/N smiled awkwardly waving her hand in ‘hello’ to the girl. There it was - she had kept quiet and Kai had found someone else. Even though her heart was breaking she was happy for Kai. Now she knew why he had been so nice to her - because he had started falling for someone. It made sense , love changes people. Maybe this was his chance to become better. Y/N felt her eyes starting to water and she knew if she didn’t go away he’d see her cry and thats the last thing she wanted. She cared too much about him to ruin his evening like this.
“Well , um … have fun. I .. I’ll give you some privacy.” she said quickly walking past them and locking her bedroom door behind her. Y/N slided her back down against the wall next to the door until she was sitting on the cold floor , her hand covering her mouth trying to muffle the sobs. A few minutes passed and there was a knock on her door. She ignored it , trying not to let the sobs become audible , but she lived with a vampire…it was pointless.
“Y/N ? What’s … whats going on ? Are you OK?” Kai’s voice came through the door. He sounded worried.
“Yeah , I’m fine. Go back to your date.” she said trying to sound confident.
“I can hear your heartbeat. You are lying.” he said. “Talk to me , please.”
“I am not lying. Just … go back to Mandy or whatever.”
“Y/N…. Open the door or I will kick it in.” he said twisting the door knob.
There he was. The Kai she knew and fell for , the one who didn’t accept ‘no’ for an answer and always got what he wanted.
Y/N reached her hand up , unclocking the door.
Kai pushed it open , glancing around the room searching for her until he saw her - her knees brought up to her chest , red puffy eyes with a trail of tears on her cheeks but what got to him the most was that she was avoiding his gaze completely. He sat on the ground next to Y/N , his eyes focused on her.
“What happened ?” he asked. “Did someone hurt you ?”
Silence. Kai didn’t like seeing her like this , and he hated the thought he might be the reason for it. Y/N wouldn’t even look at him. He tilted her chin towards him until her eyes met his.
“Tell me.” he asked softly.
Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. How can he not know what the reason for her being like this was ? As if it wasn’t obvious. She slapped his hand away and then slapped him hard.
“Ouch ! Aghhh …” he said rubbing his cheek.
“That was for bringing a girl to our home.” she said angrily , getting up and heading into the living room with Kai on her tail. He grabbed her hand blocking her way. “Let go of me.”
“Why would you care if I bring a girl home or not ?”
“I don’t care. You can do whatever you want.” Y/N replied.
Kai smiled to himself. “You slapped me for bringing a girl to our home because you don’t care ? That makes no sense , Y/N.”
Y/N tried to come up with an answer but came up with nothing. Kai had pushed her buttons a little too hard this time.
“Because I … … UUGHH!” she groaned , storming into the kitchen with Kai right behind her. He grabbed her hand making her spin around so suddenly she bumped into him.
“Y/N … ” he whispered, his eyes meeting hers. For a long moment they just gazed into each other’s eyes. Kai’s palm brushed gently her cheek and Y/N leaned in towards it. “You like me.” he said smiling , listening to her heart beat change. “That’s why you are so upset. You are jealous…”
“I am not upset.” said Y/N pushing him away , taking a step back from him turning towards the fridge. She opened the freezer , getting the chocolate ice cream box out. Kai swiftly took the ice cream from her hands putting it back in , his smile getting wider by the second. “I want my ice cream. Give it.”
She tried to open the freezer again , but he kept the door closed not taking his eyes off her as she struggled to open it. Kai didn’t need vampire hearing to know she lied about being upset. Whenever something wasn’t going right for her , she’d reach for the chocolate ice cream. Always. And she hadn’t denied liking him or being jealous.
“Ugh !” she groaned in frustration.
“Do you know why I brought that girl home ?” he asked suddenly serious , his fingertips trailing their way from her shoulder to her fingertips , intertwining them with his. Kai could feel her shiver under his touch , her heart starting to race. “Because I wanted to figure out something … and now I know.”
“To figure what out ?” said Y/N quietly , her heart beating so fast as if about to leap out of her chest. She was starting to get lost in his smoky blue eyes just like every time they fought except there was no fire in them this time, there was something else.
“How I feel about you.” he said smiling , slowly leaning in towards her. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Every night for months now I toss and turn in bed until I sneak into your bedroom to watch you sleep and when finally I do fall asleep you are still there. You are everywhere. It’s like you’ve gotten into my blood stream or something.” he said stroking her cheek for a moment. “Arhhh … Emotions are hard…”
“Wh-what … what are you trying to say ?” said Y/N , a small smile on her face. Kai had sneaked into her bedroom to watch her sleep. If it was someone else , she’d probably think it was creepy but when it comes to Kai it felt different.
“I think … I am in love with you.” Kai’s lips almost touched hers as he said it.
“You have a very .. interesting way of figuring things out.” she whispered.
“I’ll make it up to you.” he whispered gazing longingly into her eyes for a moment before his lips crashed against hers , scooping her up into his arms. Y/N’s hands moved towards his neck , pulling his face closer to hers. Kai seated her onto the kitchen counter , her legs hitching around his waist as his lips kissed her jaw line. “I love you Y/N.” he said softly into her ear while her fingers tangled in his hair.
Kai rested his forehead against hers, Y/N’s fingers brushing against his scruff. Both of them smiling widely. His eyes were glowing and everywhere he touched her it felt like electricity coursing through her veins.
“I love you.” he repeated , listening to her heart skip a beat at his words. “I love everything about you - the way you crinkle your nose when you don’t like something. How your eyes glow every time you smile. The way you furrow your brow when you are thinking. I love every little thing you do. I love you.”
Y/N was at a loss for words. The evening had taken a very different turn. Kai kept looking at her, a little nervous waiting for her to say something but how could she put everything she felt towards him into words ?
“I love you too Kai.” she said. “I love you more than I can put into words.”
“So you forgive me for … hurting you earlier?” he asked smiling.
“I … I don’t know.” she pretended to think about it. “I may need more convincing…”
“You are so mean.” he teased , his lips colliding with hers again. “How about now?” he whispered. Y/N shook her head and he kissed her again and again , taking away her breath completely.
Hello everyone! It’s that time of year again! I’ve joined so many new fandoms and made so many new friends, I want to express my love for the people I follow & care about. It’s been a wild year, and I want to thank each and every one of you for making my year so special on Tumblr. I’m probably forgetting a lot of people, but these are the blogs that really caught my eye and I really loved throughout the year. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and Happy New Year! I hope your 2018 is your best year yet.
🙌👑☀️✨🎺📸🕯💡💎🛎 special shoutout to the love of my life, my everything, a person I’d actually die for, WHO I CAN’T BELIEVE I MET IN PERSON THIS YEAR, and who’s everything to me: @robinwright, a.k.a. cassandra. I love you so much, thank you for putting up with me and my problematic ass, I wouldn’t be the same without you. LOVE YOU! 🛎💎💡🕯📸🎺✨☀️👑🙌
to my real life friends, I never thought I’d get so lucky to find people in my life to share my tumblr blog with, one of the most sacred places for me: ben (@owl-in-pieces), dena (@bookwormin), jill (@thebluemoonspirit), and to victoria who will return to tumblr so we can follow each other one day
Hey, sweeties ! So… Yeah. I reached 900 followers. Do you see this nine with two zeros ? Yeah, 900 wonderful persons are following me and it’s just crazy ! Like, I never thought I was going to reach it. It was a little blog, and after one year & half, 900 persons decided to click on the button following, and I can only thank you for it. So many people encouraged me, and there’re who are here for me since the beginning. I met such lovely, nice and amazing people, I made friends, even best friends. And I’m blessed to know such incredible people. I improved ‘cause of them. They encouraged me, inspired me, made me laugh, smile and cry (of happiness!), and you don’t know how important you’re for me, even the persons who left. Of course I still have a long way to go. But I’m with everyone, with the Inazuma Fandom Family, and even if I do the same crap forever, this is the most important for me. I’m happy that I decided, the day I created my blog, to join the Inazuma Fandom Family. I love the people here, the memes, the art in any ways I see each day in my dashboard. You make my tumblr experience such a beautiful one, and I hope I’ll stay here for a long time. So thank you ! Thank you very much for everything. To everyone. I love you all !! >3< ♡♡♡
Being emotional is not a good idea.. I’ll cry if I continue.. ;-; Here is my follow forever ! I advice to follow all of them. Such sweet & talented persons !
Kai Parker x Reader word count : 3 449 warning : smut summary : Reader is a werewolf who has been in a lot of fights and has some scars on her body , and she doesn’t want to sleep with Kai because of them. * gif by fondu-with-downey _________________________
Being a werewolf had its perks but also had more than a few downsides. Y/N’s life hadn’t been easy , specially after her adoptive parents had kicked her out after she triggered her curse. Her temper had been pretty bad before she had triggered the curse and it had only gotten worse later on. Ever since that , she had gotten herself into a lot of fights and those fights had left scars. Not emotional ones , though those were there too but existing more in the form of really deep scratches , but physical ones. Y/N’s body had more than a few of them and some days she wore long sleeve shirts and jeans to cover them. That happened more frequently now that she had a boyfriend.
It had been nearly 3 months since Y/N and Kai Parker , a vampire / witch hybrid , had become a couple. Unlike what everyone said about him , he was actually a really nice person when you give him a chance to show it. Yes , he had a temper but as long as no one crossed him or anything Kai was pretty chill , kind , loving and caring specially towards her. Y/N had gotten to know both sides and weirdly , the bad side had made her fall for him. Kai was hot , dangerous , charming , funny and he had been the one to find a way to tame her , in a way. Ever since they had met , her temper had cooled down completely. Their love for each other had began changing both of them. But there were still things they hadn’t done and every time Kai tried to do something and she pushed him away, Y/N felt angry with herself , as if she is holding him back in some way and afraid , knowing there is chance he might reject her after seeing how her body looks.
A quiet evening alone was just what she and her boyfriend needed with all the craziness happening around them lately. They sat on the couch with TV was buzzing , loud enough to disturb the silence , neither of them really paying attention to what was on the screen. Y/N could feel his eyes on her the entire time.
“You know you look so beautiful with that side braid.” whispered Kai in her ear, placing his palm on her cheek. Y/N smiled shyly. “Even more beautiful when you smile.”
Y/N turned towards him seeing him smile at her , slowly leaning in towards her before kissing her her gently. His lips were so soft , she could never get enough of them or him in general. Kai had a magic touch enough to make her go crazy for him just trailing his fingers across her arm or lightly brushing his fingers against her cheek. He backed slowly her against the couch , deepening the kiss as he did. His body pressed against hers firmly , pushing his crotch against hers making her moan into the kiss. Y/N felt a dozen butterflies flap their wings in her stomach starting to melt completely under his touch. He pinned her wrists over her head leaving kisses all the way to her jaw line , down her neck to her collarbone sucking on a spot marking her as his. It all felt so good , perfect and right and then his hand slipped under her shirt starting to pull it up her body. Y/N wriggled her wrists free and pushed him off her.
“I um – I have to go take a shower.” she muttered smiling nervously , running up the stairs leaving Kai stare at her more confused than ever. He wondered what he had done wrong to get pushed away every time. It hurt him but there was something else , he could hear it in her heartbeat and see it in her eyes every time she found an excuse to push him away. A sigh left his lips and he headed upstairs , hearing the water starting to run in the shower. Kai sat on their shared bed trying to come up with an reason why she’d do this but came up empty. Not knowing was driving him insane. They trusted each other with everything , he loved that about their relationship. Whatever it was , why wouldn’t she just tell him like always?
Y/N took a little longer shower this time , trying to find a way to explain her reaction after getting out , coming up empty. About 30 minutes later she stepped out of the shower , wiping away the foggy mirror looking in her reflection for a moment - claw scratches , bite marks were covering her body here and there. A sigh left her lips and she wrapped a towel around her , walking out. Y/N closed the door and turned towards the bed finding Kai sitting there , leaning back on his hands starring at the bathroom door.
“There she is. The hottest girl in town — no , the planet.” he grinned at her , starting to get up. In a flash he got to her , kissing her cheek and placing his hands on her waist. “We need to talk. This can’t go on like this.”
“Like what ?” she sighed , taking a step away from him and going into the walk in closet. Kai’s eyes looked different , there were flashes of sadness mixed with confusion there and Y/N didn’t like seeing that in his eyes. She loved seeing them glow with happiness or with mischief.
“Something is clearly bothering – ” he sighed. “We always tell each other everything but for some reason you have chosen to keep this a secret. I just don’t understand why you won’t tell me. It’s so confusing - every time I try something you just – you are there at first and then you just … shut down and run away.”
“No , I don’t.” she lied , reaching for one of the longest shirts she could find in there. Y/N held it in front of her , making sure it’s long enough to cover her scars and turned towards Kai finding him closer than she had expected.
“Don’t make me ask the question.” he said quietly.
Y/N looked at him with a confused look in her eyes. Kai took a step towards her , gazing into her eyes raising his eyebrows a little.
“No. Wait , I’m not a -”
“- virgin?” he finished for her , seeing her blush. “Then what is it ? You don’t want to have sex with me ?”
Y/N took a step towards him. “I do. It’s just I —”
“You what ?” he asked with a small smile, brushing his thumb on her cheek before placing his hands on her waist. “You know I love you and won’t force into doing something you don’t want or like. I just want to know. Why wouldn’t you just tell me ?”
“Kai , I – you know my past. I haven’t always been this calm.” she sighed. “There were days when I’d get into fights , one after the other. I just —”
Kai studied her face. His girl looked so nervous , struggling to speak and her heart beat was so uneven. What could be so bad that she wouldn’t want to tell him ?
“You can tell me anything Y/N.” he said softly, cupping her face “You know I won’t ever judge you. ”
Y/N’s eyelids fluttered closed and she bit the inside of her cheek , struggling to force the words out. There was no right way to say it - she didn’t like how her body looked with all those marks , and there was no way for those scars to disappear. If Kai saw them he’d probably leave her and she didn’t want to lose him, ever , but she also knew she couldn’t avoid this conversation forever.
“There are scars and I’m not – I don’t like my body.” she said quietly. “And you are not going to like it either so whats t-”
Kai kissed her gently not letting her finish , unable to believe that has been the reason that makes her run every time. The most beautiful , smart , perceptive girl he has ever known , the only one who knows him truly perhaps even better than he knows himself and she still thought he’d reject her because of it. How could she even think that a few marks would change the way he sees her and feels about her ?
“Let me see.” he said softly. Y/N shook her head. “Please ?”
A sigh left her lips and she nodded. It was bound to happen at some point anyways. Kai untucked her towel letting it fall on the floor. His breath got hitched in his throat - there were scars here and there , some were small others were a little bigger but somehow those marks made him love her even more. They made her real , real people have flaws and he loved every single one of hers. He traced one of the scars gently with his fingertips a small smile spreading on his face hearing the change in her heart beat when he touched her bare skin. Y/N’s eyes kept darting everywhere but at him , not wanting to see the look on his face. Kai lifted her chin up , making her her to look into his eyes.
“You are so beautiful.” said Kai softly.
“You are just saying things.” she closed her eyes feeling his lips pressing onto hers , kissing her gently.
“I’d never lie to you sweetheart , you know that.” he said softly lifting her up bridal style, carrying her to the bed. “If you don’t believe me then let me show you.”
Kai let her down on the bed gently , brushing his palm against her cheek placing a soft kiss on her neck before rolling on top of her making his way down her body, kissing softly a scar almost at the middle between her breasts , then another not too far away from her belly button shaped like a crescent moon and trailing his fingertips across another one on her waist. He couldn’t comprehend how she could think he would reject her or stop loving her because of a few scars. It seemed unreal to him how someone would ever do that , specially to someone as kind and loving as her and that made him wonder if it had happened before. Kai kissed every square inch of body , feeling her relax more and more each time his lips touched her skin. He brushed his fingers against her heat , blowing a light stream of air on her clit making her shiver a little.
“You are more beautiful than I ever thought.” he smiled crawling over her until their eyes met. “The most beautiful girl to ever walk on this Earth.”
“Stop.” she smiled shyly , her cheeks flushing a light shade of pink.
“There is no one that even remotely compares -”
“Stop.” she smiled widely.
“- to your beauty.” said Kai smiling , trailing his fingertips across one of the scars then across another. “I love this one and this one and this one - ”
“Kai , s-stop.” she started laughing when he started tickling her.
“I love every part of you Y/N. Nothing is ever going to change that. ” he said smiling , pressing his lips onto hers kissing her gently. Y/N’s fingers tangled in his hair gripping on it lightly while his fingertips grazed across her skin down to her heat slowly rubbing circles on her clit making her moan into the kiss. Kai’s touch was making her feel on fire and she craved more and more but then he suddenly stopped.
“We dont have to do anything if you don’t want.” he said pulling away from the kiss. “I don’t want to pressure you into anything -”
Kai was being so gentle and sweet it melted her heart , just like always - he put her before him , being the sweetest carrying boyfriend ever. Everyone always saw him as a monster , someone with no emotions whatsoever but that wasn’t him. The real Kai was the exact opposite of what her friends saw when looking at him.
“I know.” she smiled. “I want to.”
Kai smiled widely at her , his lips colliding with hers again drowning her in a passionate kiss. He had wanted so many times to touch her like that , he could barely contain himself or decide what he want to do. Y/N’s hands traveled down his back , lightly grazing her fingertips across his back as she pulled his shirt over his head ,both of them smiling at each other. Her eyes were sparkling with love ,excitement and something else he couldn’t put his finger on. He brushed his nose against hers for a second , leaving kisses on his way down to her core , licking a stripe right through her middle, not taking his eyes off her hearing a soft moan tumbling off her lips. Kai placed his hands on her thighs parting them a little wider , sliding his tongue in her entrace curling it around while his nose brushed against her clit. He was gentle at first , slowly changing the tempo seeing how she responded to his touch.
“You taste better than I could’ve ever imagined.” moaned Kai , enveloping her clit with his lips , slowly sucking and tugging on it. Y/N’s hands reached for him , tangling in his hair lightly gripping on it. She wanted more of him , sure she’d never be able to get enough of his magic touch. Each time his tongue swirled around her clit at a soft swift motion felt like a match being light up , setting her on fire again and again.
“That feels amazing.” she moaned , pushing his mouth further on her while her hips pushed down on him. Kai moaned sending vibrations directly onto her clit while he continued devouring her with a hunger , building up the burning feeling in between her legs more and more each second. He replaced his tongue with his fingers - pushing them in slowly stretching her out , curling them around feeling every inch. Kai couldn’t tear his eyes off her , seeingher arch her back and throw her head back each time he pulled his fingers out , pushing them in again while nibbling on her clit. It was driving him completely insane , spurring him on to go faster.
“Oh fuck , go f-faster..” she moaned and Kai’s fingers picked up the pace even more turning her moans into small screams , feeling her walls clench around them. Hearing his name roll off her lips spurred him on even more and he decided to drive her completely wild - cheating with his vampirism to pump his fingers faster in her pushing her right over the edge. Y/N whimpered and squirmed , her body starting to shake as her orgasm tore through her body , his fingers never slowing down or stopping. He felt his jeans tightening around him just looking at her fall apart because of him. Kai pulled his fingers out bringing them to his lips , moaning as he cleaned them up as if her juices were tastiest treat he has ever tasted. Y/N pulled him up , impatient to kiss him , rolling on top of him without breaking the kiss. Her hands roamed every inch of his chest while she made her way down his chest leaving kisses all the way not taking her eyes off him as her fingers started to undo the belt on his jeans but he stopped her , gripping her wrists.
“Tonight’s not about me , sweet cheeks.” smiled Kai, pulling her up. He brushed his fingers through her semi dry hair , pulling her down for a kiss slowly rolling on top of her again. Y/N reached her hand between their bodies pushing its way in his jeans , palming him through his briefs. A low growl came from his throat , biting her lip at the end of the kiss.
“Someone’s eager.” he grinned at her.
“Don’t tell me you are not.” she beamed at him , trying to push her hand under his briefs. Kai got off the bed stripping down quickly before crawling back onto the bed with her. Y/N’s fingers wrapped around his lenght stroking him slowly , drawing slow circles on the head with her thumb , gathering the pre-cum. A quiet ‘oh’ left his lips and he closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling. His girl waited for him to open them , bringing her thumb on her lips tasting him on them. His eyes widened and he wanted her more than ever in that moment.
“That has to be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen you do.” said Kai smashing his lips against hers. He took her hands , holding them on either side of her head intertwining his fingers with hers while slowly teasing her entrance with the tip of his lenght. Their eyes met and he thrusted inside her , entering her at once. Y/N’s back arched off the bed , a small gasp leaving her lips when he did before pulling out and sliding in again slowly , making her feel every inch of him as he did. A small smile spread across her face , both of them enjoying the moment they’ve both been wanting for so long.
“You do know , you can go faster right ? I am not going to break. ” she teased , darting her tongue out licking his lip. Kai grinned at her , pressing his lips against hers as he picked up the pace slowly, filling her to the brim each time. Y/N could feel a knot starting to form in her stomach , each thrust hitting her spot bringing her closer to another release. She wondered how she had thought he would reject her. It seemed like such a silly fear in that moment , specially seeing the way he had reacted - so loving , kind and sweet. He was practically threating their first time together as if its her first time. Somehow that made her love him even more.
“Fuck you’re so tight around me. I love it.” he grinned at her , his thrusts starting to a little harder. Kai rested his forehead on hers , his hot breath hitting her face every time his hard lenght pushed inside her , starting to knock out the air from her lungs. He was almost as eager as Y/N , pushing her hips down , meeting him half way. Her walls clenched around him , making her feel even tighter and a low growl came from deep inside his throat. It felt as if they were make for each other , a perfect match. Y/N held onto his hands a little tighter the closer she got to her release , her eyes pleading for him to go faster.
“Fuck I’m so close. Don’t stop.”
Their eyes met and Y/N smiled at him nodding slightly, feeling his length twitch inside her , a louder moan escaping his lips. Kai kissed her passionately, feeling her walls contract around him again. He let go off her hands and Y/N held onto his biceps while he continued to pump inside her a faster, making her entire body feel on fire. Kai was driving her crazier by the second , each thrust leaving her craving more of him. A little louder moan left his lips , feeling her walls clench around him again and her nails dig into his skin drawing blood.
“Me too sweetheart.” he grunted , not slowing down for a second. His thick shaft twitched inside her a few seconds later and he reached his high , coming in hot spurts inside her almost a split second before came around him. Her fingers tangled in his hair tugging on it as her body shook under Kai’s , who rode throught both their orgasms until they were both finished. He collapsed onto the bed next to her , turning towards her to see her face while his fingertips trailed a scar he hadn’t noticed on her shoulder. Y/N turned her face towards him , grinning at him.
“That was – definitely worth the wait.” he grinned. “I love you Y/N. I love you , all of you.”
“I love you too -” she smiled at him , a devilish spark flashing in her eyes and she leaned in , hungrily pressing her lips against his. Y/N rolled on top of him not breaking the kiss , her lips getting more and more demanding by the second , tugging at his lip at the end of the kiss. “ - but we have a problem.”
“What ?” he asked looking around startled. “Tell me , I’ll do anything -”
“How am I ever going to get enough of you ?” she answered smiling widely.
Kai grinned at her , trailing his fingers down her back , sending shivers all over her body. “Round two ?”
Y/N bit her lip , looking at him with innocent eyes leaving kisses on her way down his chest. “Round two –”
Seem like a lot of people want to cuddle baby Newt. Good news, he loves being cuddled too! especially hugs from lovely people @natecchi, @funkzpiel, @axileana your comments made me wanna do this gif! :D