in the past three weeks, the sun has risen and set just as before. only lately, we haven’t had time to glance up from our feet walking in front of us. our arms used to stretch out as we pointed to our favorite clouds, the ones that collided with the sunset that painted the sky. we said “i love you” tonight after what felt like a lifetime of exasperated sighs. only this time, the words echoed around in the silent car as we sat with our legs crossed. we have choked out the words with tears and we have shouted them with such joy. this isn’t anything different. you told me all of your secrets like they were today’s routine and then you held me while i cried. a few weeks ago, i held you in my arms while you cried out. then, there were less tears that had fallen and more sounds of our love that had filled the room. you kissed me so gently on the lips i had almost forgotten what it was like when you took my face in your hands and had your way with me. we hold hands everywhere now but the grip has lessened. your smile didn’t shine as bright when you laughed but you laughed louder than you have here lately. my mind is far away tonight because i keep remembering the times we pointed even farther away into the air, showing each other our favorite stars. time has taken a toll on us and life seems against us for more reasons than one right now. you’re still my favorite star. i still come home to you.
my skin is still burning in the places that you touched it last and when you hold me like that i wish that i would just melt into your arms. the first night that you touched me, you were nothing more than nerves jumbled together. tonight i am beyond that, a mere string of words and sounds unfathomable. when you first smiled at me, i hated the skin i was in and i rejected any compliment towards it. i haven’t stopped smiling since i stepped out of the shower. i am in love with myself and the way i carry me. it took some time, but i am in love with life. colors have never been more beautiful and i have never been more afraid of leaving a world and a girl so pretty.
it’s a little past midnight and in exactly five days, the anniversary of my first real feelings for you will be celebrated. you never knew it before, but i used my birthday wish on you. i didn’t know what would become of us, but i wished to keep you around. five days shy of a year later, i will use my wish on you again. i cannot tell you what it will be though, for fear that it might not come true. it’s been nearly a year and i have learned what it’s like to see you naked, with all of your thoughts exposed and hung in the air between us to dry. your naked thoughts, naked words, naked mind. i love seeing you take it off. maybe next time you could show some skin, too. you had long hair when i first met you. you had your hair in a ponytail when i realized i first wanted you. your hair is cut short now and although it is nice on you, i miss pushing your hair out of your face. i’ve loved you for some time now. it only grows more, the love and the time.
there are two days until the anniversary of my first real feelings for you will be celebrated. everything is changed. you take off my clothes and i put yours on. my body is yours now, to claim forever. when i tell you it’s yours, know i have never before meant it more. you own every part of me, right down to thoughts passing as this sentence finishes. you’re all over me, right under me. this love is a love i will never find again.
today is my birthday and it is the anniversary of my first real feelings for you. this year, you kissed me and it was normal and it was comfortable. last year, i wished so badly that you would want me like i wanted you. i’m surprised at the way things ended up, but never not thrilled. this life is the best life. this love is the greatest love. and I can’t wait to blow out the candles tonight.
If you’ve never taken the time to explore your girlfriend’s body and kiss her all over and kiss every scar, every freckle and memorize every spot that makes her hips buck when you kiss or bite it, you’re doing it wrong.