you weren’t sure what to expect as you walked into place you’d be met with all the faces you had once known 10 years ago. Now being 28 you had maybe one or two close friends from high school, the rest you never talked to again or were just Facebook friends.
One of the faces you are about to see include your high school sweetheart, your first love. Yes all that cliche stuff that happened in high school, that you constantly tried to forget about. Let’s just say the last week of school a fight broke you up and you ended up sitting all by yourself at prom, while he danced with one of the cheerleaders that he knew you didn’t like.
28 years old and you were still single and had only had a few boyfriends the past 10 years and the longest of that was 6 months. For the most part of you being an independent woman, you just spent the past 10 years working as a
As you walked down the hallways the memories that you tried to push away all these years came rushing back to, the quick make outs along the walls when teacher wouldn’t be watching, the girls looking at you with envy because they wanted to date Nick. Now they wouldn’t have to envy you, he was probably happy with some other girl.
You inhaled a breath of air as you opened the door to the room, already being ten minutes late. “Y/F/N we thought you weren’t coming” You heard the voice of one of your old classmates that you barely remembered the name of as you just nodded before finding your way to your only good friends now Alissa and Rose.
“How come I have to go through a full day of work and then I’m forced to come visit people who I knew ten years ago” You sighed as you sat down beside the girls resting your head on Alissa’s shoulder. They gave you a fake offended look as you reassured them that they were the only ones you wanted to see.
“So y/n still going out with Josh” Rose asked referring to an idiot of a guy that you ended up dumping two months ago because let’s just say he was a self-absorbed guy who ended up cheating on you with your co-worker who you once classified as a friend.
“Dumped his sorry ass when he cheated on me with Sarah” You muttered as you looked around to find where the wine was served that Alissa held in her hand, as you spotted the table of drinks you noticed no other than your old boyfriend standing right beside it chatting to one of his old mates that he was on the soccer team with.
After a few minutes of contemplating if the wine was worth it, you stood up and walked towards the table, knowing you wouldn’t be able to get through this night without a couple glasses of wine.
A few faces glanced at you with curiousness, as you were well aware that it probably looked like you were walking towards Nick. As you finally reached the table Nick looked at you before doing a double take, yet all you did was ignore him and grabbed the wine, grabbing the biggest glass you could find and pouring enough that would get you through the first hour.
As Nick’s friend left he turned towards you leaning his arm against the table, his signature smirk adoring his face, as he started speaking. “Why if it isn’t miss y/l/n, how have you been beautiful?” He asked, the look on his face making it seem genuine.
Already having enough of his presence you scoffed and turned to walk away the glass of wine held firmly in your hand, as your attitude made it seem as if you were in your teen years again.
You saw eyes following your movements as you walked away from Nick and back to your friends, him making no more efforts to talk to you.
Throughout the night people kept asking what had happened with Nick and why he went to the prom with Bethany way back 10 years ago.
As you were sat alone at one of the nicely decorated tables, you were questioning why your prom had to end like this. You knew it was too good to be true to have a nice boyfriend that you dated for the most of high school with no mishaps , now the day before graduation you were sad and just wanted to be finished with school.
Your friends all had dates that they were dancing with, hell even Nick had somehow found himself a date in the short time that our breakup was.
Which was only three days, it had taken him three days to get over me. I guess you could say that was probably what hurt the most right now. You looked away from Nick as a slow song came on and they began to slowly dance.
Over the course of the night teachers came up to you asking if you were alright and questioning why you were sat alone at prom by yourself, resulting in feeling self pity and sadness as you attempted to hold back all the tears. But you had already told yourself no crying, not tonight and in front of all these people.
As You saw Nick kiss Bethany you rushed to the bathroom, already feeling the tears spilling from your eyes, as you sobbed in the bathroom stall you questioned why you had even decided to come tonight.
Deciding you had enough you walked out of the bathroom and straight to the exit of the room you were in, your dressed crinkled and your face probably smudged with mascara.
Graduation wasn’t as special as it should’ve been as you didn’t feel one bit excited and got off the stage as soon as you could, leaving at the first possible chance you had gotten.
As you were stood talking to one of your old teacher you were grabbed by the hand and heard Nick’s voice as he apologised to the teacher telling her how he had to speak to you.
“I’m sorry” He sighed after you had both left the classroom and were standing out in the hallways, it was weird how it was so quiet. Back in high school you were used to the constant chatter of students.
“For what” You asked quietly as you looked towards him and saw how much he had changed, his features had matured and he looked just as hot as he did when he was eighteen. But now was not the time to be checking out your ex boyfriend.
“For being such a fucking ass, at prom” He said as he explained that he saw how you looked that night and never did anything to make you feel better.
“I mean you did just go off with some other girl three days after we broke up” You stated attempting to add some humour, but you both knew you weren’t being humorous on bit. That was probably the thing that hurt the most with the whole break up.
“Y/N I’m such a fucking idiot and I know this probably is a weird time to ask, as we haven’t seen each other in 10 years, but since we broke up I haven’t had a proper relationship and seeing you tonight made me realise how I’m still in love with your beautiful self, so what I’m saying is can I take you out on a date” He blurted out all that he said as you giggled at him.
Deciding to be a little spontaneous you grabbed his hand and pushed him against the lockers playfully as you kissed his lips for the first time in 10 year and as you felt the sparks you knew that this could work out again.
“How many times?” My voice was low as I asked the dreaded question, the room once again too silent for anyone’s taste.
The mood had shifted completely, after the episode earlier, the tension had died down but there was still the constant stiffness lingering in the cool air as we sat opposite one another for the second time tonight.
This time however, my back was pressed uncomfortably against the bedroom wall, legs tucked into my chest as I rested my chin on my weakened knees.
Nick looked rough. His body was angled directly in front of my own as he rested his own body against the opposite wall. His long legs were spread in front of him lazily, it looked as though he had carelessly thrown himself into the position he was currently in; similar to a doll who had been tossed to the side and forgotten.
The moment we had shared earlier was very much over and much to my dismay, the hurt had come creeping back. I needed answers and I needed them now, before it got too painful.
“That was the only time - y/n, I swear” Nick’s voice was weak and his eyes were thickly lined with redness and dark circles, the Iris’s looking sad and lonely as they stared at me, empty.
I opened my mouth to ask another question, the words freezing in my mouth and becoming none existent.
Nick growled angrily from the other side,the anger being directed at himself rather than me. His hands were gripping his chocolate coloured hair tightly as he muttered curse words over and over - the sight causing my heart to tighten and break ever so slightly. It hurt me to see him this sad, ha how stupid of me.
“Why?” The word had flew out of my mouth before I could even think of asking it, the one question I had been avoiding had effortlessly left my lips and consequently rendered the both of us silent.
“Why?” Nick repeated the word to himself quietly a few times, each time the volume raising ever so slightly.
“I just- it was in the moment” he sighed deeply, staring deeply at me before continuing.
“It’s not a great reason - I know that, but it’s true. She had come onto me whilst we were talking about the scene and it all began to happen so fast” I nodded for him to continue, despite the pain slicing away at my heart as he talked about his encounter - I had asked for this.
“She started to lean into me and I did nothing - I should have god dammit, I know I should! She got the wrong idea and suddenly she was kissing me, I didn’t know what to do. She had pressed herself against the wall, her body clinging onto mine and I had no idea how to react, you walked in soon after before I had chance to get her off and that’s when hell broke loose” he finished his explanation, head hanging low as he played with his own fingers, avoiding my gaze.
I had no idea what to think. I knew he was mostly telling the truth, it wasn’t hard to see when he wasn’t; yet some things just didn’t add up to me. I couldn’t comprehend the situation fully, the hurt consuming me as I burned with anger inside, confusion clouding my thoughts.
“but you made no effort to get her off - to stop her from leaning in and getting the wrong idea? It doesn’t make sense! Just be honest! Is it me? I not good enough Nick? Just- please! please just tell me the truth” my voice had cracked and once again my tears leaked pathetically out of my eyes. I had let the pain consume me and push me over the edge, finally having enough.
“What!? How can you even think that! Y/N, look at me, please” Nick was now up close, his warm fingers gripping my chin and lining up our sight, gazes meeting.
“Don’t you ever think - for one second that you were or are not good enough for me, ever.” Nicks voice had turned hard, his eyes blazing with an emotion I couldn’t describe, the proximity of our bodies giving me a comfort I had longed for whilst he had been on the other side of the room, I’m so pathetic.
“I don’t want to fight you Nick and I don’t want to fight myself but what am I supposed to do,huh? I am desperately trying to cling onto this; to us, but I can’t seem to shake the ball of fire that’s slowly settling itself inside my chest and I certainly I can’t seem to pull the knife you lodged deeply in, out of my heart” Nick sucked in a sharp breath at my words, his own heart breaking in two as I crumbled before him.
“Our love is toxic Nick, but I cannot seem to let go of what we have - who we are, I’m in too deep” I was drowning, slowly and surely suffocating in the danger that was our love.
“Then don’t” Nicks voice echoed in my head as he pulled me closer, the feeling all to familiar as I basked in his warmth - what the hell am I going to do.
- - -
Okay so as requested, part two is here. It is so terrible so please, bare with me. It’s 5am and I am super tired so I apologise for any mistakes ahh